I have had a very turbulent contested divorce. I filed after I realized my wife of 3 kids is lying cheating and manipulating me. I moved on very quickly and happy now living with my GF and 2 extra kids. My 3 are with me 50% of the time but xwife gets child support due to her working part time voluntarily and thus being the non monied spouse. Last March she introduced a new guy to the kids. Within a month she moves him into the house I purchased before marriage but was dumb enough to add her to the deed with no money down. I built and remodeled that house with my own 2 hands over the next 10 years while she was mostly unemployed and then paid it off with again mostly my own money but considered marital estate (I know I am dumb). Few months after her BF moves in, the kids start complaining. Little things like "he tried grabbing my phone to he jumps on my bed to wrestle". He is nearly 40yo no kids. He tells my middle son "why are you leaving, don't you love your mother"?. I raise these issues in the court app and tell her to stop immediately, but she replies "youre jealous he is good looking and smart".
Things escalate. He starts coming to my kids events, always front row and center always like he belongs there and I have no desire to rub shoulders with either of them so I stay to the side. The kids ask their mom to not bring him and that they want their extended family there instead. Her side don't speak to her. Her side goes to me to see the kids. Often her own mom included. Xwife uses the kids as pawns often.
Few weeks ago when xwife and BF tried to pick up my youngest son early, I came out and told them that it's not happening. BF starts mouthing off. I told him that he is not informed and that we can have a convo in private. He calls the cops and reports me for "illegal guns" that I don't have. Next day in court the clerk adminishes both of us (he was talking to her but looked impartial). After court I go to pick up one of my kids from my own home (she has exclusive use and I didn't fight it). This time I Had to ring the bell. He comes out and yells "get off OUR porch and you shouldn't be here". I yell back "that's not your porch and get off my mattress" and take my son with me. He calls the cops again and this time tells them that I have an order against me going up there and that it's a curb pickup. Cops let him know that no such order exists and leave again. Here is where it gets interesting; The kids start talking and let me know all the various ways that he is alienating me and taking smack. They want him out. They don't want him there but don't want mom to be sad either. The next day her mom comes to see me and the kids. The boyfriend verbally assaults the grandma after and accused her of sleeping with me. Gramma calls the cops and tells him never to return. Grandma's husband is a nasty vile self proclaimed "equal opportunity racist". My xwife has been telling my kids and her dad and new BF that I abused her and choked her. This is an absolute lie and I retained proof for 3 years now that paint her exactly as the malignant lying compulsive narcissist that she is. So while I don't blame the BF for calling the cops on a dangerous illegal gun toting racist (me) I do have a problem with all the alienation and posturing from the boyfriend. The kids are asking me to get him out of their house, but I am inclined to sit on my hands and play the defensive posture and let her lie more in court. I believe the courts are already onto her lies. She has lied countless times in affidavits. Here complaints outnumber my defense 10 words to 1. Any advise? I am not inclined to press charges. I am inclined to keep sitting on the defensive seat and let her dig deeper