During my separation, I was falsely accused of 'historical' rape by my ex-wife, which means she told the police I had raped her several months ago, with no exact date, or evidence. The way our laws work, this was enough to have cops show up at my house and arrest me.

This false allegation gave her de facto sole custody and exclusive possession of the matrimonial house. I was now barred from having any contact with my kids unless she approved of it and I had to hire a criminal lawyer and a family lawyer.

She got the upper hand in the 4-year criminal and family matter just by this baseless allegation. I had to prove my innocence. So much for innocent until proven guilty. Many of our mutual 'friends' abandoned me. The ones that stuck around looked at me with suspicion. But I attended men's divorce groups and saw that there were many men in the same shoes as me, dealing with false allegations, visitation denials, never ending court cases. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I was not the only one.

I went a year without seeing my kids because she just didn't let me. And when she finally did, I had to see them through a supervisor. That's when I had to pay money to a man who was never married, who never had kids, watch me as I played with my kids and take written notes. These are the kids I raised from day 1. He would then take his notes and give it to my ex and her lawyer.

She made every allegation in the book in order to get her revenge on me. Her revenge was rooted in me discovering her affair with a co-worker and questioning her about it. Her affair started when she got a job that paid more than I was making. She started saving the money for herself and would not share it with the family, while my money was used to pay all the bills. Little did I know, she was serious about this guy and wanted to move across the country to be with him and a false allegation of rape was enough to get her dreams come true if I was convicted. (They eventually broke up after I put up a fight in court that she cannot move).

Folks - I'm not here to tell you every small detail that happened to me. But I can tell you I suffered. I suffered. And my children suffered. But I persevered. I lost 20 years of savings I had worked hard for. I am now in debt. BUT, I can say after 4 YEARS of torture, I am finally beginning to have peace again in my life. Everything is NOT perfect, but I find myself thanking Jesus regularly for everything as they are. I have a new hope in life.

This year I finally went on my first vacation in Latin America and had a blast. I now have a girl I am seeing casually. I see my kids regularly and they love me more than before. I have plans to travel every year. I have friends who understand my situation and accept me for me. I

Folks, keep pushing through. If you take care of #1 - yourself - you will come out of the other side.

If you are going through a divorce, my recommendations would be:

  1. Prioritize your health. This means going for a run or hitting the gym daily.
  2. Find a men's divorce group.
  3. Go to church/mosque/Buddha and find a community that you can lean on. You can't do this alone. You need a greater power to help you through this. This is what I did.
  4. Settle ASAP with your ex. Accept the every other weekend schedule if you have to if it means saving yourself tens of thousands (or in my case hundreds of thousands of dollars). Kids will eventually grow up and make their own decisions. The greedy lawyers were prolong your case and milk you dry.
  5. Get educated on the red pill philosophy. The system is rigged against you with 50% divorce rate, 90% of divorces being initiated by women. Understand that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate.

Have faith. Happy Friday.

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