I left my emotionally and sometimes physically abusive wife because for one I just couldn't take it anymore and secondly it was getting even worse for the kids because I got to the point where I couldn't help fighting back so we would have these god awful fights in front of them, I would try and keep the fighting away from them but my ex wife would deliberately do it in front of them because thats the narcissist she is!

I tried to get her to leave multiple times but she just wouldn't so I made the gut wrenching decision to leave the kids with her, this seemed like the best thing to do because as I said above it was getting even worse with me around as I was at boiling point.

With me not around she wouldn't be as bad but still an emotionless verbally abusive Mum to the kids (That said, she keeps them fed and clothes and going to school as the narcissist in her wants people to think she's amazing)

Anyway, things haven't panned out the way I was hoping which was me getting 50% custody, mainly because I was living at my parents and there was no room, now that I have my own place she is refusing to let me have them for more than 2 nights a fortnight which is not enough as I can see the negative effect she is having on the kids everytime I have them! I am currently paying a lawyer to fight her but it is slow going.

Last night I had a dream about a girl that got slowly melted by some sort of nasty acid stuff, it was all bubbly and rank like it would be in real life and she kept saying I'm going to die! See I told you I was going to die!!

Id been telling her she wasn't and that she'd be fine going in there and kept telling her that until she was nearly all gone.

I feel like this is my sub conscious telling me that the girl is my daughter and the acid is my ex wife.

I've spent all morning crying my eyes out in the toilet at work, I can't face my work mates (I'm a "big rough" Electrician! I can't let them see me like this!)

Thanks for listening and I hope you all get through the tough times like I hope me and my kids do.