Long story short- wife is the typical not accountable or rational and borderline a terrible mom and wife. She Has always been provided for and has been a “Stay at home mom” which is a joke because she just lays around and complains and does nothing.

I am the constant driver of all things and this would be fine if I wasnt under the roof with a traitor, she works against me in all aspects of this arrangement and acts like a kid and doesn’t do anything towards making the kids self able. Also she texts people painting me as the bad guy not mentioning the truth of what started things.

I dont scream or get overly angry- just stern and anchored to the problem and then point out the spiral that happens afterwards and the fallout it causes.

Any time theres a issue she directly caused she flies away from the problem screaming and yelling when I put my foot down and point it out. Most of the time I just let things slide if its not super important.

We’ve been down this road before and almost got divorced due to her delusions that I’m a monster when I’m a hardworking father , caretaker and husband.

I cant waver on this recent dissagreement, because it sets a precedent ( blaming me for her not playing a game with one of the kids because I walked in the house at bedtime after cutting the grass, I had been in the house maybe 2 mins and was immediately thrown under the bus and this caused issues with the kids. Prior to this I had taken all 4 kids and her to a playground where I played tag and held little ones hand at the splash pad and played for hous, prior to that was at home depot and worked for 9 hrs of the day ).

Its an insult to me and all I do, and my core is either broken or has to harden at this point and stand up for myself and the situation. I just wish people knew the truth because its BS she gets to twist the issues to suit her.

I live in RI and fear being completely destroyed financially for the future, and Feel like I would have to move to survive, and that would kill me to not see my kids. But what kind of life would I have if I stayed.

I feel like if I can provide for a whole family I should have the kids and she can go since it seems like she only loves what I can do for her.

Any advice or words or perspective would be great, Id love to hear of a lawyer that would make life livable after a divorce for me but from what Ive seen its expensive and also draining afterward. And if you cant pay.. go to jail. How messed up is that?