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Just some back story:

My wife asked for divorce. My wife and I have been married for eight years. We have three kids. It is a few months after the third and she asked for divorce. The whole thing is currently being worked out with legal teams. We have been in counseling for a few years, switched therapists because the first one wasn't that great. We both thought things were getting better with the second therapist. There is no physical abuse or sexual abuse. I am usually a quiet person, but sometimes raise my voice in arguments, nothing that I personally would consider emotionally abusive. I really just match the argument or what I am being met with. I am really kind of wondering what is going on. There was a similar situation to this that occurred a few months after one of our other children was born, just not to this extent.

Present:

Got in an argument about money. She said she wanted a divorce and now we are where we are. No communication on the issue although I have tried and I have tried without being pushy. No communication whatsoever. Been giving space. Trying to be supportive in case this is related to hormones from pregnancy. Really just wondering what is happening here, everything seemed fine, but now the situation just keeps feeling like it is getting worse and worse. Friends can't believe the stories of what day-to-day life is like, seems like there is a lot of control and I feel manipulation on her part through the whole process. I am very upset, which doesn't look attractive, but I'm trying to keep it together for the kids. It is my belief that there may have been an underlying mental illness that came out after the birth of our third that was relatively dormant previously.

We don't have a lot of money, nor any support at all with the kids. No family or other childcare aside from us. Not a lot of time for each other with work.

Answers please.