Original post here: Mediation advice needed: UK: Hostile partner in child custody arrangement : r/Divorce_Men

Update:

She has climbed down from giving me just Friday afternoon - to Monday morning every alternative week to 5 days every week including weekends. She wants 2 days extra per week from my schedule.

I haven't agreed to it as we didn't progress further within the time allotted as she continuously made baseless allegations and useless references in terms of child arrangement. One example being: I can't take the kid alone to far away locations in my car. Lol, I do that currently as my parents are here and travel together. Even if they go, I can put the kid on the front seat and drive. Even the mediator commented that this is a useless reference. She kept alleging on the point where I shouted on the kid. I tried to keep my cool but did say that mediation is not the right platform to keep defending myself and if push comes to shove, will provide enough evidence if it comes to that (in court).

So, my fellow gents here, please advise me on the options I am considering (if we have another mediation session):

  1. I am considering her to have the kid 1-day extra every week from my schedule or have him 2 days extra every alternative week. Not thinking of giving the kid every week 2 days extra from my time which makes around 52 days with her in extra in a year.

  2. I want the overseas travel and the window for the same should be around 15 days every year.

  3. If I give her say around 30 days in a year, should I discuss the childcare costs in the mediation. I will not be happy to pay extra for something she wants and to which I am agreeing to keep things amicable. Currently we share the day care costs in equal.

  4. The mediator also said to her that no judge would be okay to take away the parental rights of a father and 50-50 custody is awarded unless there are serious evidence of abuse, alcohol or drugs. She added that even in certain cases despite abuse, the custody is awarded equally. Now I don't want to drag this mediation forever, but I also don't want to burn through money through lawyers or courts if comes to giving one in extra (assuming she agrees to it).

Note: I will only be agreeing to the proposed schedule if she agrees to overseas travel and be with him for around 15 days at a stretch during that window. Else, I don't see any point moving on because it may seem that I am the one who is making allowances for her with no return.