Negotiating a settlement

IAmSeparating · 2018-06-12T14:00:41+00:00

I have a kid and I have no problems in paying child support, but to actuals. STBX is asking for a fat one time settlement amount.

child support is usually monthly, and adjusted every year as salaries change.

spousal support can be lump sum.

I want some control for future as she has caused problems with child access. She allows me to meet my kid but as per her convenienve and will never let me be alone with my kid.

child support and child access are not related. You can't restrict access if someone isn't paying support, you can't restrict support if someone isn't giving access, etc.

LandOnMyFeet · 2018-06-12T12:22:06+00:00

I’ve been divorced once. My goal in divorce was to always be talking with my STBX about “What’s best for each of us to end up with the best outcome”.

The more the attorneys are involved the less money to split.

Both attorneys are fighting it out at both of your expenses.

While at a divorce support group I listen to one gal talk about how she will fight until nothing is left and both are bankrupt.

I said, “Do you hear yourself? You would rather ruin both your lives and the lives of your children rather than figure out how you both can get the most out of a bad situation. Wow!”

Anyway, I went to as many counseling sessions with my STBX as possible preaching the let’s make a deal scenario rather than let the attorneys decide the deal and it did not end as badly as I anticipated.

All you can do is try.

Good luck!

Title	Negotiating a settlement
Author	arkeyu
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	June 12, 2018 11:52 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/8qib4w/negotiating_a_settlement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/negotiating-a-settlement.820122 https://theredarchive.com/post/820122

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