Please help... again

thefudmaster · 2021-07-28T03:46:14+00:00

OP. You’re basing your happiness on having a partner. This is not the way.

outdoorsman921 · 2021-07-27T21:45:14+00:00

Talk to a counselor asap. It’s hard to believe but things will get better. Grief is like waves hitting you. Sometimes they feel unbearable while other times they are more manageable. Being able to talk to someone will help you better manage those waves.

Get into the gym. Sweat through as much as you can. I’m literally doing that right now.

Focus on things that make you happy and if your like me then you aren’t sure what those things might be. Your life and hobbies have been tied to this one person. Get out and try new things. Stay as busy as possible.

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-28T02:48:01+00:00

Certainly talk to a counselor and get your body moving. Having your heart ripped out is horrible and the feelings get really dark. The worst part for me was wanting to talk to her and communicate with her but I couldn't. So I just opened up my notepad and wrote to her what I would say. And I wrote a ton of sad, hurtful, stupid, sappy, crazy, angry shit. Going back and looking at it now, it was good to get it out because it actually stopped a lot of the thoughts from continuing to spiral up. Literally every time I felt like talking to her or thought about her, just popped open my notes app on my phone and typed some shit it. Or you could do the voice memo - but unless you have a lot of privacy, that's harder to get away with.

It helped me, hope it can help you, too. That was before I found this place - so - you also have us!

dkf67 · 2021-07-29T00:06:08+00:00

Hey man, my wife left me about 9 months ago. Same story. I wasn't part of her envisioned life anymore. She just kinda dipped. It sucked hard and I really do love her. But looking back on the relationship after spending time on myself and making my own dream future I started to realize she wasn't exactly a great partner. It took me the better part of the 9 months to feel good about life again but once I did it just happend. I feel great now. I have a plan for my future that is based around what makes me happy. I still get sad some days things about the past but I'm comfortable with the thought that I wouldn't go back. As others have said if you're really struggling there is no shame in seeking professional help. I hope the best for you. Focus on you man!

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-07-29T02:17:04+00:00

Women prepare to leave 1-2 years before they file for divorce. She already has someone else on the side.

Best thing you can do for yourself is accept it, and run away. Record everything. This is when false allegations come to light. You've been warned.

kyjuggernaut · 2021-07-29T19:03:08+00:00

You are responsible for your own happiness. You have been co-dependent on your former partner and that's not an easy thing to break. It will take time and practice, not self pity. Do whatever you need to do to make YOU feel good right now (sans hard drugs and alcohol, weed is a great help), and continue to do that until you are out of this rut.

"Your brain is responsible for keeping you alive, not keeping you happy. You have to be intentional about bringing joy into your life."

ryanwongcpa · 2021-07-29T22:08:02+00:00

does she care about you when you are sad? if not, don't be sad because of her

roonster6 · 2021-08-03T17:00:24+00:00

Hey OP, as I sit here having breakfast alone and thinking “man I miss my wife” but you know what I dont miss is the bickering, the complaining, the silent treatments, the stonewalling and gaslighting. And somehow that “miss my wife” feeling goes away.

Get to working on your mind and body. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride but I promise you it’s only temporary. You are your own happiness. Good luck to you.

Title	Please help... again
Author	andyhdzdelgado
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	July 27, 2021 9:20 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/osvi9u/please_help_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/please-help-again.816385 https://theredarchive.com/post/816385

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