My stbx and I have been separated for a bit over a year, married for 11, and together for 16 years total -- 1 four yo son.

We have agreed to divorce, and are preparing financial disclosures, in the mediation process.

I've let her steer the shop for too long - classic co-dependent parent-child relationship, withered on the vine.

While I've had a history of drinking as a coping mechanism, my stbx wants to make it a condition of co-parenting that I not have alcohol or cannabis in my house.

I agree with her that my recovery would be best served by not having booze around, and I am proud of how far I've come against the odds -- haven't drank since July 4th of last year, but for a one night lapse in February.

I had a slip and used cannabis briefly (legal in our state), which I was honest with her about.

She thinks bc I won't agree is a sign that I'm in denial and in the future I'll decide I am not an alcoholic. while I am of the mindset that she no longer gets to decide how I comport myself, or what my recovery looks like when she decided she no longer wanted to be in a relationship.

I've successfully gone through rehab, but realize I have further work to do in my recovery journey.

Mind you, I've never had negative consequences apart from relationship issues/emotionally stunted. Liver is fine. Never been pulled over or otherwise put my family in harm's way.

She is flipping out and threatening to keep the kid unless she approves of my recovery plan.

I am doing the self-care part, exercising, eating well, working full-time, although my social circle is limited (I agreed to move our family out of state during our separation. She now has a robust support network of friends locally and I'm in the divorcee apt complex with no friends locally, and my family 6 hours drive away).

My focus is one day at a time, and that is working for now.

Am I better served by acquiescing to her stipulations (agreeing to not have substances in my house) and just getting through the process, or would I better be served by digging my heels in and making her prove to the mediator/the court that this stipulation is necessary?

Tl/Dr -- self-managed recovering alcohol-dependant, with no significant external repercussions.

Am I better off going along with her request that I not keep substances in the house, or does that set a precedent and give her ammunition to use against me down the road?