Rant

sicrm · 2023-07-22T23:08:38+00:00

you have to co-parent with her and the divorce isn’t even finalized yet.

it’s tempting to make a decision that you think seems justified, but you have to play things out.

if you tell her family, you feel better for a few minutes, maybe a few hours.

maybe her family cares, maybe they don’t.

what will most likely happen though is she blows your phone up, and makes the divorce process a lot more difficult.

no one’s perfect, but try to only make moves that have a benefit to you or your kids.

Rollercoaster72 · 2023-07-23T02:13:36+00:00

My stbxw did almost the same. She did talk about that things were not okay at home to her brother and mother. My bestfriend then warned me, in our country this kind of conservative people tell their parents and family as the last persons to tell. For she opened the door now, you can be sure she is done. He was right.

After this conversation things went really downhill at home. She only needed to hear: we are behind you at all times. There was no stopping the divorce anymore. And she started trying to rent apartment. This all worked out and nee she is moving out in august. And only now she told her parents.

They were schocked and ofc couldn't do anything anymore about it. Most shocked them that when they said well then you need new furniture like a sofa, she said well the apartment is so small there is no place for a sofa.

And like your stbxw I am sure if they would have know this before they would do anything to stop her. She also leaves the kids behind, they stay with me. There is officially no affaire but we'll see if that is treu.

There is one aunt of her I have a good relation with I suspect her to one day call me... but I presume the rest of her family doesn't know either. Her mother and brother ofc didn't call me.. 25 years don't count at all... the aunt I mentioned also divorced, she was in their family for 47 years.. (16-63) they never called her again..

I do understand that it is still not accepted for a woman to leave her family, that might me one big reason. But I also think that for this kind of non communicative conservative families it's normal.

If I were you OP, don't tell her family that's something she should do herself. I wouldn't count on any support from their side...

DocHolliday80 · 2023-07-23T19:56:28+00:00

My ex (divorce was final in January) has told her parents we are just separated (at least in May she hadn’t told them). She has just told her sister.

I have no kids, so not my circus, not my monkeys.

Title	Rant
Author	Either_Evidence_1986
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	July 22, 2023 10:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/156wyaq/rant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/rant.1226166 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226166

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