Newly separated, my conversation with my stbxw last night confirmed there is no chance of reconciling. We are stuck living together due to how expensive it is and we have 3 teens, and 1 adult child. We are on somewhat decent terms. She’s been avoiding me cause all I have wanted to do is fix this, we can be friendly, and she doesn’t want to just take the kids either, and I’m glad for that, cause the kids have been a blessing at this moment.

Everyone says focus on you, now that this is eventually go to divorce, I need to ask. How did any of you focus and rebuild yourself? I’m struggling to get motivated to do anything. My confidence in myself is low, I try to put on a poker face but people who have known me long enough see through it. Right now I’ve been focusing spending the time with the kids doing whatever they want. I know I need to work on me, I’m just stuck. Im journaling to get these thoughts and feelings out, and I post on here occasionally. I’m in therapy working on issues that caused this mess. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Everyone assumes cause im the guy that this isn’t something that’s going to bother me like it will my stbxw, but that’s not true, 18 years is a long time not to have it mess with your head and emotions. Thanks for any and all advice.