Separated, not yet divorced...need advice

Thedude1217 · 2025-06-20T09:54:36+00:00

Sorry about your situation, but with her not working custody could go in her favor. Your monthly benefit income will be taken into account for child support unless she is nice enough to ask it not to be, but doesn’t seem likely. Also in my personal experience the court looked down on my military career basically making me out to be too rigid and structured. So whatever you say in court make sure everything is child centered and in their best interest. That you can be flexible as well. I was trying to follow the book showing I provide structure and stability and the judge took it as a negative. Very frustrating for dads doing their part. You have to prove you are an equal parent, but with her being stay at home they could potentially just label her as it and give her all decision making under the guise of “joint” legal custody. I’m assuming your child isn’t born yet so that may help that no status quo has been established so far. Worst case suggest a step up plan as she will likely use breastfeeding and other things to make her case on why the baby can’t be away from her. Offer to be as flexible as possible at first to promote contact with both of you and work up to whatever arrangements you eventually want, but get it in writing from the get go if you can. Try mediation first and save yourselves money

BatGuano52 · 2025-06-17T00:41:53+00:00

Your VA benefits are not community property, so whatever you have in the bank already is yours.

However, you have to include your monthly payment as income for support calculations.

ThrowMeAwayPlz_69 · 2025-06-17T00:13:40+00:00

Talk to a lawyer and prepared to get fucked. Her not working is going to bend you over in CS and with a newborn, I imagine it’s a harder battle for 50/50

ManKind__ · 2025-06-17T00:00:36+00:00

I gotta be that guy.

Why get married/pregnant if it was shit? She's trapped you now.

Idk about your benefits but I would think so. Better start calling some good lawyers. Remember most offer a free 30mon consultation

Title	Separated, not yet divorced...need advice
Author	Illustrious_Sea5888
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	June 16, 2025 11:53 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ld8npp/separated_not_yet_divorcedneed_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/separated-not-yet-divorcedneed-advice.1554845 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554845

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