Devoted almost 30 years to my wife. 27 years married. It’s been a few weeks since she filed and ruined a vacation purposefully by telling me on day 1 to get me to lose my shit. I didn’t lose my shit. She turned up even harder and I didn’t. Rule #1. Never lose your shit. My dumbass just learned that less than a year ago. Don’t be me. There is power in stoicism that you wouldn’t believe.

She has deep childhood issues and is a classic narcissist. I supported her as the sole bread winner for years so she could get her useless educational doctorate just so she could brag to her narcissistic family. They are narcissists so they didn’t care and now make fun of her for it. Oops

$200k student loans for nothing.

After all that care and support it was my turn to take 18 months off to get my MBA to further my career. Guess who couldn’t handle the pressure after month 6? Yep. So after leaving a great job during the ‘08 crash to get my MBA, my only option was to build her a dance studio and make money that way. Guess who, with no knowledge of the dance industry, not only thrived but held her hand and was face first through the wall with every problem. Yep.

Built the largest dance studio in the city over 16 years with two locations. Finally got it streamlined and am ready to sail on our boat(paid in cash by my house flipping side hustle) in a new city where I bought a house cash near a marina(paid for by my stock trading side hustle). Guess who decides it’s time to go it alone and doesn’t want to be married anymore? Yep.

Both of our leases are coming up for renewal and our flagship location was just sold to the most ruthless landlord I’ve ever seen after working a decade in commercial RE in my former career. Guess who had the bright idea to file for divorce during this crucial time and stated that she wants 100% of the business? Yep

I’m glad our daughters are adults and starting to see her as an extension of her family rather than the exception.

I spent a few weeks dealing with panic, fear, what am I going to do scenarios, etc. Then I started talking to friends. What I realized is that I’m in my 40’s, good looking, talented, artistic, handy, funny and well endowed. I’m going to be fine. She,on the other hand, is going to get two crash courses. 1. Alimony goes the other way and 2. Commercial lease negotiations are a mother fucker.

No matter what your situation is, you will be fine. I had a teenage fling before meeting her and it produced a child so I went through all the co parenting, child support stuff. It hurts to start but it normalizes over time even when your ex is crazy.

I’m going to call this half rant/half advice for those men out there that have stayed faithful, kind, kept their nose to the grindstone and built a life for and with their partner only to be discarded. Keep doing what you have always been doing which is moving forward. Brighter days are always ahead even if it doesn’t look like right now.