33m spouse 28f w/ 4 kids. I originally contacted divorce attorney after my felt like my career was threatened by my spouse's escalation in arguments. I didn't pursue anything other than consultation but try to arrange financially for both of us to have stability and started to move towards separation. I was a sole source of income, she was a stay-at-home parent intermittently going to school. I eventually got involved with someone else. We separated oh, I continue to pay for all expenses. At this point we both had separate relationships. When she found out about mine she filed for divorce. We have temporary orders based on an agreement which order 50% split custody minus the fifth Sunday which goes to her. iPay 75% of my base salary to her in child support, a number which is substantially lower than her original request.

The reason I feel as though I'm losing slowly: In order to pay child support, her bills which she requested as part of the temporary orders, my own bills, and the debts incurred from obtaining her a house and doing the renovations which were necessary I end up working extra shifts as much as possible which forces me to give up days with the children. Meanwhile she is moving towards bankruptcy. She is continuing her schooling which, even since the separation, I have put a substantial financial investment into. She works minimally a couple hours a week. I am being cut out of medical decisions, school locations, etc. At this point I get told how much it will cost with the expectation that I will pay for anything the children need.

There was a police call for domestic assault during what she attacked me. I was able to capture a portion of it on video. I never pursued the charge. At the time I assumed that it would be temporary and I did not want to hurt her future career potential. There were further trespassing situations. Eventually a criminal trespassing order was placed in which she was not supposed to come on the property without permission. It happened multiple times, I made further police reports. Any investigation into those incidences only serve to infuriate her without any actual protection for my personal well-being. My oldest children regularly describe the negative things she says about me. She regularly undermines my parenting and interrupts and interjects during phone conversations with the children.

I have contemplated pursuing investigation of the domestic assault. I'm concerned that it will again result in nothing but instigating more negative response.

If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it. I do have a lawyer who I communicate with regularly.

It seems like every time I tried to play by the rules be the bigger person I end up losing more. Acceptance of whatever outcome lies ahead has allowed me to manage depression and maintain the business side of things both in performing at my job and not defaulting on any debts.

In less than 6 months I will be at a new phase in my career which will allow me as much time off as I need while still having plenty of income. I'm just trying to avoid losing everything that matters before that moment comes.