Temp order custody..how important are statements/affadavits?

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-05T04:36:44+00:00

For a temp custody hearing they make a minor difference, but temp orders are almost always "the deal" in whatever jurisdiction you live in absent something extraordinary (i.e. beating the kids). And if its that, a declaration doesn't get you there (need to have a hearing on the abuse allegations + cross examinations).

"The deal" where I live is dad gets every other weekend and a midweek overnight. Some places it's 50-50. Temp orders there is no time to really figure things out and strictly speaking, declarations aren't entirely evidentiary. They may help show one parent is engaged, but declarations that the other is bad are suspect. But it's almost always more theater.

In disputed cases, the courts will rely on their experts to figure out the truth (GALs, custody evaluators, etc). Declarations are useful to them, but if they are any good, they'll do their own work to figure out the truth.

No_Pace2396 · 2024-12-05T02:10:25+00:00

My experience: No way the judge really read all the crap we submitted, including declarations, motions, counter motions, and responses to them. It seemed to me, as the motions and hearings piled up, that all this was to rack up billable hours. Ex’s strategy was to run me out of money. By the end we had a roll away suitcase of everything that was filed. The counter to that is if the judge does read anything and you didn’t respond, then you’re basically admitting to w/e accusations have been thrown about. By the end, I just went down and responded “deny, false, irrelevant, and/or defamatory, and unworthy of a response” to every item in her motions.

My ex alleged emotional abuse in her motion for TRO. Her and family and friends launched into a smear campaign with a bunch of declarations. I submitted 2 declarations attesting to kids being healthy and happy in my care. Sometimes I think the judge skimmed at least hers, decided ‘abuse’ warranting a TRO and writ of assistance was a stretch even she couldn’t rationalize, but saw enough to decide I was a scumbag that was up to something. Eh, she said as much at a later hearing.

Family court isn’t about evidence or legal precedent, it’s about lawyers’ ability to get the judge’s attention, and what the judge is feeling in the moment.

jimsmythee · 2024-12-05T01:49:12+00:00

The deal is that statements & affidavits from family and friends are very heavily slanted towards the person who brought them forth.

Your mother will say, "Oh my son always treats my grandchildren with such love and respect. He loves those kids. He spends every waking moment taking care of them. The STBXW? Does nothing but smoke crack and throw empty beer cans at them."

Her mother will say, "Oh my daughter always treats my grandchildren with such love and respect. She loves those kids. She spends every waking moment taking care of them. The STBXH? Does nothing but smoke crack and throw empty beer cans at them."

That's why courts don't hold much value to them. Documentation of court or police involvement is what is heavily relied upon. And unfortunately, the discretion of the presiding judge.

Title	Temp order custody..how important are statements/affadavits?
Author	LionAR1999
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	December 5, 2024 12:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h6wgiy/temp_order_custodyhow_important_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/temp-order-custodyhow-important-are.1537613 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537613

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