Yesterday happened to be one of the best days I can ever remember. Woke up and drank a pot of coffee, worked for about an hour or so preparing my week next week, my 11 yr old went to hang with friends and I let her stretch the boundaries I have set up for her, went to the beach with my other two daughters and dog and walked and collected sea glass, got home and spent the next two hours raking one bags worth of leaves with two of my kids while the other tried for two hours to accomplish something (she never worked so hard at something before- and she still failed at it), listened to an amazing Grateful Dead concert, had McD’s at the kids request, watched a movie centered around the 4 year old, then a movie that was too old for the other two.... it was an Ice Cube- damn it was a good day kind of day.

During the day I not only recognized how awesome everything was, but also the one and only one thing that was missing - my ex- but it was something that kind of appears all of the time in my consciousness- so didn’t think too much other than, ‘sucks for her, she missed out on this’ or ‘goddamn I miss her’....

The day was great. Only cost me time and fast food. Oh wait- also got the kids slurpees. So it was like a $40 day.

I know when my ex has them she usually has far more grandiose plans- I feel like she needs to fill the kids with Instagram photo memories (even though she rarely takes pics), going to big events and shit on Long Island, but the reality is it’s all a distraction for her.

Anyway, last night watching Shazaam- definitely recommend- I realized my ex breaking up with me gave me a huge gift. Yesterday was a direct result of my ex leaving the marriage- since that day, my focus is entirely on the mental health and joy of my children. It was always there - I always put in the time with joy and pleasure, however, the divorce and splitting my time in half doubles the value and quality of the time I do get- and yesterday was a Royal Flush.

Thank you Linda- for being such a selfish asshole that you left me with the opportunity to be the best dad I can be. I’m trying.