I'm nearly through the process of divorce, house is sold, my STBX and I are living 7 min apart from each other, the temp orders have the kids with me for the weekends until we go 50/50. This arrangement has been in place for almost 9 months. It's awesome - but exhausting, and I've been able to bond even more closely with the kids while she parties and has free babysitting for the weekend.

For 9 months I document everything, preparing for some trial where I think she's going to request full custody and child support which she eluded to in the divorce decree. I abide by the temp orders 100%. She broke them 100%. I keep documenting. I involve CPS, not after the first report of nonsense involving sex toys and my kids being exposed to self-made porn on her iphone - but the 3rd time. That basically resulted in CPS telling me that I should go to co-parenting classes, and based on her description of my past when I was 18yrs old (Now 42) that I should seek counseling for substance abuse? WTF? I was 6 months sober - when I went in for the evaluation. I live a sober lifestyle - she drinks every day and hadn't been sober in 2.5 yrs when she filed.

SO I keep documenting all of her BS, mostly while we were still living together. The affair, hiding alcohol all over the house, her spending the nights out and leaving me home with the kids. Carrying around bags of lingerie, sex toys, alcohol, make-up and changes of clothes when she went to "work".

All of this comes to a point - she left me two weeks after my dad died in May of last year. That's when she asked for "space". Two weeks later I figured out the affair, even though I don't know any of the details. She sets me up to get arrested. That charge was thrown out in court. She was nice enough to ask for a temporary protective order that covered the kids schools, and our home. Mostly so I couldn't see what she was up to. Three days later, she's dropping the kids off with me at the extended stay motel for the weekend while she goes to lake with friends.

I have been through so much hell with this woman, we were together for 20 years, 15 yrs married and two kids - 12 and 4. She has seemingly picked up and started living a great life, at least from the outside looking in. She kept the SUV, suddenly got a job promotion, although I think it had something to do with the affair. All of this shit continued to flow my way, and still does while she happily moved on with her alt reality life.

I have trouble even containing my emotions when I drop the kids off after the weekend. They love staying with me, but are getting used to the routine. She destroyed my life, my savings, my credit score is effectively 0. I make a good living, but it appears that it will take several years before I'm back on solid ground again. She works in the real estate industry and now that she's freed up from having to be a wife - she'll probably earn more than was previously which is a great income.

Last week I tell her that unless she agreed to 50/50 custody and no support outside of health care and daycare - that I'd go to court and take my chances, and that I didn't care about the money. She agreed to it if I "would watch the kids a couple of nights last week - because she had work commitments" - which is another creative lie on her part. She never had more than 6 or 8 nighttime commitments in a year prior to our separation.

I don't even know how to describe how mad it made me that I went through all of this documentation, tried to walk the line 100% and she just gave up the custody of her kids over such a trivial request. WTF is wrong with her? I should be happy about the fact that she doesn't want to go to court, but I am so irritated that she's wasted even more of my life and time and then seemingly doesn't care enough to fight for custody? What kind of a woman doesn't even fight for custody? Especially after all the BS she's put me and the kids through, the whole time it felt like I was being set-up. After reflecting on everything, i'm sure that she was getting help from others, maybe the new guy or friends who had been through the divorce process.

It all hit me by surprise, not that we didn't have problems in our marriage, but that my Dad was dying his decline was so rapid over the last year that it took all of my attention away from her and some from the kids also. But - putting me and us through all this bullshit just so she could have an affair and decide to leave? All her lies and deceit - it's hard to even glance in her direction without getting angry. I keep telling myself this is so the kids can end up with me eventually full-time, but this process is wearing me out.