Last Friday I went to Family Court, stood in front of a judge and the court reporter, was sworn in before the judge, answered a series of questions from my attorney while the judge looked over the decree and found that everything submitted was satisfactory.

It took me 30 minutes to drive the courthouse, 5 minutes and $3.00 to park. Waited 30 minutes for my attorney to arrive. Waited in the courtroom for 20 minutes for the judge to arrive. Made my sworn statements in front of the judge and left the courtroom a total of 40 minutes after I entered.

No big speeches, no testimony, my Ex never had to appear. Case reviewed, stamped, filed and emailed back to my attorney within two business days.

Nothing short of surreal to me.

All I lost was 20 years and nearly everything I cared about in this world.

After 18 moths of hell, lies. sleazy affairs, calculated deception, DV charges, CPS involvement, her endangering my kids, a failed “weekend” reconciliation, utter stupidity and senseless arguments, pettiness and shameful behavior, months of gathering evidence and recordings for a trial that never happened, and all the drama in between...

1 hour and 45 minutes later it was all over without a single shot fired after 18 months of battle.

All the drama that my kids and I have had to endure for this vile little narcissistic _____ so she could get her “freedom” to become openly bisexual and seek the attention she craved so desperately that she was willing to even give up half of her children’s lives to get it...ZERO repercussions. No moment to be able to get that final word - a final “fuck you.”

I’ve been exhausted emotionally for the last 18 months - at the lowest point of my life and woke up nearly every day for the first 6 months having to convince myself to stay on this earth for my kids sake. My father died 2 weeks before my ex decided to officially separate, unknown to me that she was having multiple affairs while he was dying in the nursing home so it was a double-whammy that nearly pushed me over the edge.

Meanwhile, she has been traveling, partying and “loving life” for 18 months. The woman I sacrificed so many of my personal goals and dreams for, now just some swinger, able to maintain a party life because of the investments we made in “her career”, meanwhile I’m living paycheck to paycheck and lost nearly everything and all of my investments.

In the end, by fighting hard, waiting her out and losing all of what was left after the sale of our home, I got 50/50 joint custody, no child support other than medical benefits for my kids, and a weekly 1 hour FaceTime with my kids when they’re with her. I think the fight was worth it.

The sad and truly disgusting part of this is that she could have easily won more custody or full custody of the kids based on the DV charges and some good acting on the stand. Even my attorney seemed pretty dumfounded that she walk away so carelessly. Who the fuck cares? I got exactly what I figured would be my best case scenario - so I’m happy but I have lost any and all respect for her for life by giving up the fight for her kids. She did it to get her free time - her “me time” and because they interfere with her new “lifestyle”. Any other reason she gives is 100% bullshit.

For now, I’m free. I have my kids, and the rest of my life to rebuild the 20 years of mistakes.

Its still unbelievable that half my life investing in another person and a relationship can be terminated in under 2 hours. Lots of sacrifices and hard work with none of the payoff. Marriage is flimsy, and if you have young kids together you can never truly remove your ex from your life until death - even if you have limited contact or extreme circumstances. So in the end, it seems to me that Divorce is just like Marriage.

Good luck to all you brothers who are in the middle of your fight now. Don’t relent. Fight to win...It’s what we’re put here for.