Thoughts on dating before it’s final

Chipheo · 2018-04-11T02:27:34+00:00

Go for it. After I filed, I also figured I’d have to wait until things were finalized but after six months I was so lonely I joined an online dating site and it was fine. I wouldn’t mention it in my profile but always let women know before we actually went on date that I was still in the divorce process. No one had a problem with it.

Though it can feel like you are the only one who understands what you are going though, divorce is very common, of course, and women understand. In fact, once you get to age, say, 40, it seems weird if you have never been married.

ReadySetDivorce · 2018-04-11T04:14:04+00:00

That’s the timing I think is appropriate as well. It feels right to mention it before meeting for a date. Seems ok to change that timing after I’m actually divorced though; maybe 2nd+ date situation.

Cheech74 · 2018-04-11T16:35:56+00:00

Yeah, in my situation, we have a six month "cooling off" period in my state for divorces to become final. Both my ex and I were dating by the end of it, and are now both in committed relationships with people started dating during the "cooling off" period. I will say it helped that my ex and I remain friends to this day, which puts our current SOs at ease that there was nothing toxic in the marriage to put red flags up for themselves (e.g. adultery). Good luck!

SkeptiCynical · 2018-04-11T18:52:06+00:00

Check your state's laws on adultery. A vindictive STBX could really screw you over.

In my state, adultery isn't a grounds for divorce and the 1-year chastity thing really only exists in a few states.

You need to see a therapist first. If I suddenly found myself single, I'd go monk mode for a while before searching. Find out if you want a partner or if you're so used to having a partner that you can't imagine not having one. Don't rush in. The dating game is a cesspool.

Whatever you do, make sure she doesn't find out. Stay out of your zip code / county, stay off social media, and don't slip up.

ThrowawayAccount602 · 2018-04-15T21:02:56+00:00

As long as your state is not an "at fault" state, you are fine with dating. But, lots of women will run for the hills once you tell them that you are not even legally separated yet.

Title	Thoughts on dating before it’s final
Author	ReadySetDivorce
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	April 11, 2018 12:42 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/8bd1xz/thoughts_on_dating_before_its_final/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/thoughts-on-dating-before-its-final.820199 https://theredarchive.com/post/820199

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