I know I'm not ready yet - I'm still under the same roof as my STBX because she's really dragging out the financial negotiations and we haven't sold the family home yet. But I'm trying to work out what I want in the future as far as relationships are concerned.

My STBX was my first and only girlfriend, my first and only wife, my first and only sexual partner. I've never played the field and experienced what's "out there". I was brought up to believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong but even as a Christian I'm beginning to realise that's not what "don't commit adultery" actually means. There's a bit of me that feels I've missed out on a lot of fun other guys have had with going "casual" for a while.

But it's not all about sex, and I miss the day to day companionship, someone to share life's little ups and downs with, tell my corny jokes to, hug when either of us is feeling down, laugh together, cry together, celebrate together, commiserate together. So in the longer term I probably do want to settle down with someone again.

Whether that has to be monogamous I'm not sure. I'm autistic so I'm a rule follower - if we agree to monogamy I will honour that completely and would never contemplate cheating. But if I find a partner who wants more flexibility I think I could cope with that - having been cheated on (albeit it was "only" an emotional affair but the betrayal hits the same), I'd much rather it was a consensual open thing than the hurt of someone betraying me and going behind my back.

So I guess my question is really for guys who have been in a similar situation. I know a lot of people have decided to stay single, but for those who didn't - did you decide to play the field a bit first or look for a long term partner straight away? Why did you decide what you did? Any regrets either way (fear of missing out / wish you didn't)?