I'm not looking for legal advice. Just a sense of what to expect. I (M44) am thinking of filing for divorce from her (F44). We've been married for 16 years and have no children.

Frankly, I think she's clueless that I'm unhappy. We've had ups and downs but the past two years have been horrendously shitty. There is zero intimacy -- physical or emotional -- and she usually only talks to me when she needs a favor or something done around the house. Yet she's happy with a domestic life that consists of a kiss goodnight and living as roommates.

I need more. I'm reasonably attractive and women hit on me on the time when they don't know I'm married. I foolishly started an affair with a gorgeous woman and didn't tell her I'm married. That was a mistake, but it showed me what I'm missing.

My wife has gained more than 100 pounds since we married and refuses to eat strictly to loose it. I'm NOT looking for a 20-something supermodel. But I expect my partner to take care of herself at all stages of life.

Then there's this: What the hell happens when I ask for a divorce? I expect I'm in for a wild ride. The question: Is it worth it once you go through the fire of a divorce? Or is it something that's a nightmare after the paperwork is signed too?

I'm also worried about finances. We live paycheck to paycheck and I earn about two-thirds of our household income. So if I had to pay alimony, I'm not sure how I'd swing that.

I'm happy to hear any thoughts you have about a guy in my situation: early 40s, no kids, married 16 years to a woman with no intimacy who doesn't take care of herself or clean up after herself.