When did you call it quits?

darkerwithin · 2024-07-26T07:53:51+00:00

When I figured out the true reason she wanted us to separate - another man. My revelation came two months into the separation.

I blindsided her with divorce shortly thereafter.

DudeforRighteousness · 2024-07-25T12:45:06+00:00

I wouldn’t have never been the one to initiate things. I’m just not cut that way . But the further I get away from that toxic relationship and person more I realize how much of a gift it was. I will always hate it for how her decision affected the kids, but I’ve been given a second chance.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-07-25T06:51:35+00:00

The absolute final straw, which seems so silly looking back on it: When she refused to let my daughter go to her best friend's birthday party because it conflicted with an ice skating lesson and she felt that if our daughter didn't do well on the test for the next level, I would blame her for it. And dragging this rationale out of her in the course of the hours long argument was a feat in and of itself.

I realized there was something going on in her head I couldn't keep up with or compete with and the source of our continual conflicts over very simple issues became crystal clear.

It was all and always about her. My daughter's socializing and happiness came second to her twisted rationale and fear of getting blamed.

I worked at it for 12 years. Trying every which way I could to bring it back around. Nothing changed. We separated and came back together. Tried therapy. Tried just letting her have her way.

I'm no hero to the story, my undiagnosed ADHD was a major stressor to the relationship. But in the end we just couldn't make the family work and the conflict was constant and disproportional to the size of the issues.

PS - my daughter went to the party, I was not truthful about this

Title	When did you call it quits?
Author	bodybyjim
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	July 24, 2024 4:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1easngx/when_did_you_call_it_quits/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-did-you-call-it-quits.1525236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525236

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