Please excuse the lack of nuance with respect to gender dynamics here. These are very broad ideas and I know that APALT.

Although I don't believe hypergamy exists to the extent that TRP would have you believe, there are clearly men who are more attractive to women than most. Sometimes to the point of ~being an absolute Chad~ Some of these men aren't particularly physically attractive or otherwise don't have a very high "SMV." What gives?

Women, in my experience, feel really guilty about rejecting men or hurting their feelings. They will actively avoid going on first dates with men who seem like they don't get as much attention as they'd like or who seem needy for validation as to not hurt the man's feelings and discourage them from continuing trying to find a relationship if they don't end up liking the guy after all. Rejecting a man whose identity is overly-dependent on validation from women can lead to a potentially dangerous situation, like stalking or sexual assault. This leads women to date from a pool of men who feel deeply comfortable in their skin and within their lives. This often correlates with a high SMP value because of societal validation but it certainly doesn't have to. If men are confident, fun, and flirty and it doesn't seem like their ego is riding on whether or not they're rejected it can often get them pretty far. Women are, generally speaking, more emotionally intelligent and can feel out the difference. It goes well beyond confidence alone! It's basically the ability to show genuine, noninvasive interest while also conveying that you'll be 100% ok if they say no.

I think the reason men are more likely to "date down" looks wise is that they know from the beginning that they're not going to take that particular relationship super seriously. I believe men do this far more than women. I've observed that men are much less concerned about building up false hope than their female counterparts. This might correlate to lower EQ. Men are more likely to "use" a woman for sex, for example. They often have different sets of standards for different levels of commitment, whereas it's rarer for women to sleep with anyone who they wouldn't be open to dating maybe seriously.

It could be that women aren't necessarily pickier, but instead are just more polite and conscientious.

Just a thought!