It takes work to be positive and I mean like hard grueling Work, especially if you're surrounded by negativity

We all know that there are way too many people who are nasty and disrespectful and I never understood why people said that's being nice or respectful with the bare minimum because you just don't see it

And I kind of feel like it's just as entitled to expect it at this point.

Like it took me until I was sixteen to get to the level of being a possible to even though you may get abused back or look at it as weird or weak.

And I'm still glad I went to that transformation but that That thought me that not everybody does this type of mental work and not everyone really is that respectful or nice

I feel like it's too easy of a cop out just to say to men that's being respectful and kind is expected and the bare minimum when it's just not true

I know tons of men and women who get relationships easily while still having very nasty opinions or attitude. Either because they are just that attractive or and they Market themselves to the right people.

I'm not saying that a man to just rely on that but whenever I hear about my ex-girlfriends experiences with toxic man I can't help but think that being nice and respectful even though it may not benefit you really isn't the norm

And it's hard to see but going up in American society it's not that hard to understand. A lot of our social media stars and pop culture icons really don't do a good job of showing that being respectful can be rewarding.

I have this debate a lot with my friends and family in the black communities because. On paper are young man should be very different if we want to advance our community. But most people are going to do things that benefit them and despite the thug archetype being up a stereotype. It's not hard to see why a lot of young black men shoes to go down that path because it's much easier for socializing

I got first-hand experience of being the good little black boy and sometimes it it doesn't serve you as well as when you act like the more traditional stereotype.

In the long-term being more respectful will help you a lot especially with the older generations and professionally but when it comes to dating it's just not the same.

I have way too many experiences of the women in my own Community looking at me like I'm crazy or corny, for portraying a more pleasant version of a black man

Which I find crazy because that's all you hear about what's wrong in our community.

Like my mom and both my aunts dated gangbangers basically

Telling men that being nice and respectful is the bare minimum, is disingenuous and leaves out alot of nuance