Hello all I'm a male early 20s and I was arpeed,

During the Rona I got sick, and developed nerve damage from a condition I had a autoimmune disease. This sickness has left damage in my hands giving me tremors and damaging my ankles and my lower legs so I have to wear braces.

As my condition stabilized I found myself watching KS then with YouTube autoplay moved to FNF and others... But I find myself depressed watching them a kind of torture porn. All these ideals and statements like the one about 27% of males being virgins... Although I do not really fit in with the average guy statistics anymore I still find myself ashamed of being one.

I've come here to look for guidance but I really can't find none, I've been trying to find my purpose and even though I can go to the gym I won't reach my full progress in there as I cannot work on my lower legs.

I don't blame women but when I look at the behaviors the RP shows I wonder do I have a chance as this sickness makes it hard to find my purpose I've become depressed. I still try and live my life, where does a person like me find guidance... Can anyone help please?

TLDR, got sick and now handicapped but got into the RP as well, it's making me depressed but I can't find any other guidance.

Any words of wisdom or a place to start?

thank you