Help me help someone

DjangoFentem · 2021-04-02T23:14:35+00:00

[deleted]

Yesm3can · 2021-04-03T04:20:57+00:00

You mean well, but you cannot/should not light yourself on fire to keep someone warm.

It is hard enough to try to talk adults out of some conspiracy (let's take some flat earthers for example), let alone a teenager at the brink of, like what you have said, inceldom.

He has already seen you as 'them' in the us vs them by not even wanting to engage with you and calling you simp instead.

Nothing you can do. He is now part of 'those' family members you put distance to, because they cannot stop sending you some crappy conspiracy videos.

I hate the 'life was better in the 50s' crap. It was only 'relatively' good for WWII winners. My grandparents in Asia suffered terribly, rebuilding the country after Japan ransacked it. Many countries and places in Europe were busy with PTSD and acclimating to a life post hellish situation.

Your friend is just bored. He lives in a safe, modern country. Noone expected nothing from him. He is not groomed to be the parents' retirement plan, because there is already retirement plans in place. He is bored and he is looking at the wrong places for excitement.

Flamingo-Remarkable · 2021-04-03T06:10:19+00:00

It seems to me it's already too late. When he's calling you "simp" for instance, in his mind there's already a wall between you and him. He's "awake" to the "truth" and you're not.

However not everything is lost, the only way to work this out is a long-term strategy.

Access to this subreddit and people on it is an invaluable resource. Read, read and read, learn, learn and learn.

My RP friends are not impervious (at least not yet) to external rationale, and I'm using it as part of my arsenal, and it does bear fruits, tho quite slowly, thus, my strategy is a long-term one.

Also, having high level intelectual discussions with a 18yo can be very frustrating, especially when it involves abstract constructs, you'll need tons of patience. Fortunately in my case I have to deal only with 30yo on, and even so it's difficult, most of the time I'm dealing with people with weak intellects, thus pervious to RP of ideology(and several others for that mater).

It's my experience that raising people's repertoire and intellectual baggage is a quite effective vaccine against silly ideologies, conspiracy theories and reactionarism. Maybe the way to the mind of your RPled friend is actually trough a backdoor, and not trying or forcing your way trough the front door.

Do not confront anymore, use your creativity instead.

But bare in mind, you cannot win every battle in this life. Sometimes, some things or some people, are just lost forever.

WestAtmosphere · 2021-04-04T00:38:43+00:00

Does he really think life was better in the 50's when he would be expected to have a good paying job, paid for all of partner's expenses, buy gifts/flowers, woo her etc? Oh also, good chance you'd be going to war as well if times were still like that. I think a lot of incels think this way because they think they would be GUARANTEED a partner.

I do feel bad for these individuals though despite the things they say. It's very clear they are very mentally ill and there's a good chance they will not get help for it. I don't say that with evil intention because I suffer with mental illness as well. But you can't help people who cannot help themselves unfortunately :/.

GoodFaithSockPuppet · 2021-04-04T02:00:38+00:00

To find him, use dialectic.
To keep him off balance, use humor.
To keep him from sinking away? Draw him closer.

When he calls you Simp? Tell him, "only for you."
(Sucker Idealizing Mediocre Person) Ask him who the person is.

He likes videos? Find him better videos. Thinking-Ape (Any video under 20 min) It'll get him thinking instead of angry at everything. Stardusk is an old dude who speaks slowly and examines things without the anger. (Use 1.25 speed) If he doesn't like it? Point out he's just trying to be mad.

Get in on that anger and find out where it's coming from.

Let him know that he doesn't have to think like a reactionary to White Feminism.
He can instead build his own metaphysics instead of borrowing from someone who's just angry about how things suck right now. That he ought rise above reactionary stances and contrarian beliefs and instead create his self-actualization and self-ownership.

You have to challenge, provoke, and invite him to his desire to be understood - much less for him to understand himself. Also, don't call him an Incel to his face. Incels are the bottom rung of the Manosphere. Each of the other factions believes that they can "cure" an Incel of being "Incel" - and if he's aware of that shame/power dynamic? You could just make him angrier.

If he wants you to hold him closer, and to help him, but he's crying for help in his rage? When you respond with raw naked anger for his transgressions? You validate the shame of the mindset. You become the gynocentric simp who white knights for women, and the Gendered ID Pol dynamics kick in. You become his enemy as you have chosen your side in the conflict.

The more you show rage with him? The more you confirm his beliefs.

If you want him back? You're going to need to tie yourself to something sturdy, and then jump in, get him, and float him back to shore. Otherwise? I don't know what to say other than I hope he conquers his rage, finds himself, and finds his Path.

Title	Help me help someone
Author	DjangoFentem
Upvotes	22
Comments	19
Date	April 2, 2021 10:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/mivjew/help_me_help_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/help-me-help-someone.765522 https://theredarchive.com/post/765522

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