how to avoid Redpill guys: advice please!

raziphel · 2017-02-15T17:59:49+00:00

You can't defend her, but you can teach her to defend herself.

Teach her about emotional manipulation and abuse tactics, so that when she inevitably is confronted with them, she can accurately label and avoid them. The sooner she can spot the red flags and recognize them for what they are, the better off she'll be.

On top of that and everything else, she needs to know and never, ever doubt that she can come to you, regardless of the problem, and that you will always be in her corner and support her.

Don't just focus on TRP stuff too. Abusers and manipulators exist at all levels of society.

bashar_speaks · 2017-02-18T02:49:48+00:00

Discourage her from being a people pleaser. Redpiller type behavior is not hidden or difficult to see. The problem is a people-pleaser reacts to people treating them badly by thinking "what did I do wrong?" and working to appease and placate them, instead of running the other way.

Caucasian-African · 2017-02-17T14:24:17+00:00

Make the guy wait for sex. It's not difficult. A true jerk-of-a-guy will be gone in no time.

[deleted] · 2017-02-15T20:01:45+00:00

On the "friend zone" thing, I should probably also teach her that as a beautiful girl, there will be unattractive guys who will try to befriend her, kiss her ass, offer themselves up for rides, pay for stuff etc etc to get a girl much more attractive than themselves. She should watch out for this and even though these guys are offering themselves up on a platter, she should not take them up on their favours. Obviously it would be wrong to tell her not to be friends with ugly guys, LOL, but she should fully understand the dynamic at play and make sure they understand that the "nice guy routine" is not a way into her pants. She should go for guys who don't overvalue her beauty, if that's possible, and become doormats for her. But at the same time, she shouldn't swing to the redpill assholes either. I think the happy medium is a guy who has genuine self respect and where there are no power differences. Anyway, thanks for letting me figure this out in front of you....if I'm totally off base let's hear it!

userniko · 2017-03-07T10:41:36+00:00

Child of an abusive marriage and friend that talks sense into her other friends here.
A few things I've noticed in people who get into terrible relationships and don't leave are

1) lack of trust in their own feelings
Women are often told growing up that they're naturally emotional and sensitive, that they over-react. When the other person says they're being over-dramatic, or over-demanding, they aren't sure. I've seen so many people write off emotionally abusive behavior as "I'm being too sensitive"

2)a black-and-white way of viewing people, skewed white
They see the best in people, in a way that if they like someone and that person is mostly nice, they'll think their bad behaviors are uncharacteristic and that the person was "not themself."
This is a problem when they ignore patterns of bad behavior in favor of the good ones. While being a forgiving person is fine, treating each occurrence as an anomaly instead of seeing the pattern is a problem.

3) A savior mentality
The biggest trick up an abuser's sleeve is using their (genuine) traumatic past as an excuse for their behavior. A jealous, controlling boyfriend will use a previous girlfriend's infidelity as an excuse for their "uncontrollable" emotions. A violent one will refer to their abusive childhood. She should know that she can't help someone that won't help themselves, and that if someone still isn't over something that happened in a previous relationship then maybe they shouldn't be in another one yet.

Laviland · 2017-02-16T10:35:13+00:00

teach her that the male psyche projects its issues onto the world and women and has done so for centuries through religions, politics, media, education around the world, and that the female psyche injects all these projections if indoctrinated enough and starts devouring and self-destructing itself. not to worry, all cycles of human psyche's eventually come to an end, and so does the male era of the Ego come to an end on Earth.

in conclusion:

a) Faith in the Self no matter what the outside wants you to think about your own Self. As within so without.

b) Self-defense, self-education and observation as things and people truly are.

c) Independence is dependence on the Self come hell or high-water.

wazzup987 · 2017-03-09T10:06:35+00:00

look at dread game and and married red pills crap. also tattoos and freewheeling sex life will ward most red pillers away from a relationship with her (maybe not a hook up, but hooking up with an asshole is way less a problem than dating one). those are their two big red flags, also feminism but that has its own problems with victim cult hood.

[deleted] · 2017-02-15T19:39:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	how to avoid Redpill guys: advice please!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	44
Date	February 15, 2017 5:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/5u8v4k/how_to_avoid_redpill_guys_advice_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-avoid-redpill-guys-advice-please.300327 https://theredarchive.com/post/300327

Comments