I dont care if no one reads it, I just need to let it out somewhere safe (I assume telling someone in real life that you used to read TRP is like admitting to past in KKK).

3 years ago, I was in a bad place. My first girlfriend left me after couple of days, I had no direction in life, I was a huge loser with mental and health problems. I somehow stumbled upon TRP. I've heard people telling horror stories about that subreddit, but i had time so I decided to take a look anyway.

I've read couple of posts about importance of doing some sort of physical activity like gym or sports, dealing with anxiety, not treating random female acquaintances like princesses. I honestly thought it was good shit that someone shouldve taught me before.

Honestly, I've read a lot of hateful, spiteful threads treating them like real life truth. For 3 years I treated girls like objects, that im either going to fuck or not.

Im not gonna lie, I had a little bit of success early on using trp "techniques", thats how I lost my virginity. But honestly, it wasnt even worth it. I still think im a virgin, as I havent been intimate with someone I bonded with.

In the past month I've read a couple of very fucked up things on TRP that made me question that ideology. I think some crazy moderator tried to justify child suicide because of bullying claiming "survival of the fittest-weak should die". Fucking moderator wrote this! Someone who is supposed to represent the ideology!

I've also read a thread about some dude who broke off his engagement with fiancée of 4years. She hasn't done anything wrong, she didnt cheat on him, but he broke it off because he had younger girl in sight. Highly upvoted thread, people congratulating him for his decision.

This made me think- do I really want to follow the ideology of such people, who probably dream about the return of caveman era, where alphas murder betas and rape the female captives?

Majority of TheRedPill readers and contributors have no morality, and can't objectively view themselves. If women does something wrong, she's getting so much shit. However, if some guy does something shitty, hes getting praised for it.

Honestly, I feel like I spent my last 2 years in darkness, alone, jerking off to theredpill fantasy. I became judgemental, cold and distant. I didnt build a single strong relationship, and the old ones slowly withered away.

/edit How can I un-learn the shit I've read there? I feel like it will still have a lot of influence on how I think, as I've followed it from age 16-19, when majority of people learn how to form healthy relationship in real life, while all I have was a handful of happy accidents and theredpill "knowledge".