Is redemption possible?

oywiththepoodle · 2017-10-19T13:32:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

KelinciHutan · 2017-10-20T01:22:46+00:00

Nothing is final until you're dead.

Having said that, having sex hasn't really changed you. In your own words, " I have a gf now and side chick she doesn't know about. Basically I changed my mindset because I started getting laid, not the other way around." You didn't change your mindset. You don't respect either of these women. You are lying to both your girlfriend and this other woman, consistently, and you don't even seem to feel bad, let alone be trying to stop. That is not how you treat people you respect or care about. It's a good way to undermine their self-worth and make them hate you, themselves, and each other, so...yeah. I'm not really seeing a change in your attitude, just one in your...pants, frankly. That's really all that changed. That's nothing. That's not a change at all.

You can change. Everyone is capable of that. For you, it means treating the people around you like they matter. Like they're not just there for you to use. Even if those people are women.

You don't get to let yourself off the hook with the "oh, but I can't get better" excuse. You can.

You also don't get to drown yourself in despair with the "oh, but I can't get better" condemnation. You can.

StBlackOps2Cel · 2017-10-19T13:32:24+00:00

How did you change OP? Did you lost ur v card?

epsgezero · 2017-10-19T14:19:10+00:00

Ok, well I would say the answer to your main question is yes, it is possible, but only if you're dedicated to change, and put hard work into it. I know lots of "bad people" who say they want to change only to fall back into their bad habits the next morning. The way you're feeling right now is by no means permanent. It could change in a day if your gf breaks up/cheats on you, if you can't pay off you bills, or even if more benign things occur, like you get stuck in traffic or even if you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

Working hard at changing yourself is not negotiable. You're not just going to passively change into a better person, sorry to dash your hopes. If you don't want to work hard, it tells me you don't actually care, which means I don't care either.

You don't need to go to therapy; therapy didn't help for me either. But you also can't go it alone. Try AA, try out different religions, seek out people on the Internet in your similar position. Helping them stay on track will help you. Get you empathy fix by volunteering for some kind of humanitarian cause. These are all suggestions, not things you must do.

RedPillDetox · 2017-10-19T14:59:14+00:00

Guilt and remorse is a good thing to feel regarding one's shitty past, you learned from it and you don't want to be that person anymore. Good.

Shame however is a toxic emotion. While guilt is a productive emotion, as it is one's realization that his actions were wrong and wants to change them, shame is the realization that he, himself is flawed and in it's own way, unable to change or make up for his flaws.

Seperate your past actions from the person you are now. You shouldn't allow yourself to feel ashamed if you're now a different person that you were from the past.

Title	Is redemption possible?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	12
Date	October 19, 2017 12:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/77dybu/is_redemption_possible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-redemption-possible.300168 https://theredarchive.com/post/300168

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