~ archived since 2018 ~

Jelaously about GF past from TRP?

zamdev666 · 2018-12-02T11:18:49+00:00

I do not remember well, but I have problably met TRP while I was struggling with GF past. I feel bad that she had somebody before me. Maybe because I am...

zamdev666

December 2, 2018

3 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Jelaously about GF past from TRP?
Author	zamdev666
Upvotes	3
Comments	36
Date	December 2, 2018 11:18 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/a2chgg/jelaously_about_gf_past_from_trp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/jelaously-about-gf-past-from-trp.299942 https://theredarchive.com/post/299942

Comments

[–]sarah-goldfarb9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

Honest question, do you believe in God? Because if you don't, there is literally no reason to give the concept of "virginity" any merit. Despite the terrible pseudoscience and /r/badwomensanatomy that you read on TRP, women's bodies do not change in any way after having sex, and first-time sex is not usually an amazing life-changing experience like society makes it out to be. First time penis-in-vagina intercourse is usually painful, awkward, and short. Sex is like anything else, it takes lots of practice and experience to get good at.

"Virginity" is purely a construct of men's egos. You care about it because you want to feel important. But just because she liked other men in the past, that doesn't make her attraction to you any less real or significant. You should just be happy that someone who you are attracted to is attracted back to you, because all of us are very lucky when that happens, and it is a hard thing to find and some people never find it. Good luck.

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

My parents have been happily married for 30 years, and when I asked my mom that question as a child, she said, "of course not, we both had lots of relationships before we met each other," and that was that. It hasn't detracted from their love at all, and it didn't detract from my perception of their relationship because I was never taught that love is only meaningful if you've ONLY ever loved that one person. It is honestly very rare for me to meet a couple who have only ever slept with each other. They would have to be weird religious zealots, and I would have to be living in a super-conservative area to be exposed to those kinds of people, which I don't. Even most of the conservative/traditional/religious people I know have had prior relationships and marriages.

You didn't include in your original post that your girlfriend is your first. That's a huge detail that clues us in as to why you care so much about this. Try to be honest with yourself, this is about your own insecurities, not about who she is or what she has done.

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6661 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6661 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb2 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6661 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb2 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6661 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sarah-goldfarb2 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6661 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Yesm3can1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Looking at your past posts, you are very insecure. Most of your posts are basically something related to your relationship.

First step, if you cannot accept her past, you leave her cause else, you are just going to hurt her with your resentment. Don't be one of those people who ended up cheating in the future to 'even' the score.

Second, if you think that you just HAVE to be with her, then get a professional therapist. Google numbers of all professional therapists around your area. Make a list of their names and phone numbers...then start to call one by one. Try to get appointment.

Someone suggested CBT, talk it out with your therapist.

This is your problem, so you have to solve it yourself.

I don't like men who have been sleeping with a lot of women...you know what I did? NOT DATING men who have been sleeping with a lot of women.

Since you seem to not wanting to leave your GF, then you have to start googling those therapists practices.

[–]LaserFace7781 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Yesm3can1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PM-ME-Y0UR-NUDES 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]PM-ME-Y0UR-NUDES 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]zamdev6660 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]PM-ME-Y0UR-NUDES 10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]zamdev666-4 points-3 points-2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]bpox3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Go look up Cognitve Behavioral Therapy. Essentially the idea is to look at what we tell ourselves that does us harm, and practice telling ourselves more constructive things. Feeling Good is a good book, and offers a simple exercise.15 min a day sit down with a sheet of paper. Draw a line vertically down the middle. Write your negative distressing thoughts down one after the other on the left. If you are stuck on just one thought ask why does it matter. After you run out of steam, go back and look at the answers. Rewrite them on the right more realistcally. I don't know exactly your thoughts, but for the sake of example say one of them is, "If she has been with other men I'll never be enough for her" You would counter that with saying something like "Sucessful relationships are built by having fun together, and supporting each other. We can build a strong relationship." Essentially you are making youself aware of the hurtful things you say so fast and frequent you can't get a mental word in edgewise, and practicing more realistic positive self talk. After a while you interrupt the negative spiral of self destructive thoughts. The stoic podcast Good Fortune also may help you.

[+]aanarchist-9 points-8 points-7 points 7 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

You can say that it's a choice like any other. I don't certain foods, soda, processed sugar etc, and I would ideally have my partner not eat those things either as she understands the logic behind the decision and agrees with it. I exercise, I would ideally have a partner who does in some form. I don't steal, I would ideally have a partner who agrees with theft as being morally wrong. If I find a woman who has the kind of personality I'm looking for, or as the red pill community would put it, a nawalt(tldr not selfish), honestly majority of other criteria can be put to the side. On the other hand I have seen patterns, that promiscuity in a woman is a sign of mental illness, I have never met a woman who's been with many men who did not have serious problems. Likewise I have never met a woman who committed crimes who does not have serious problems and thus makes a bad long term partner. Am I open to dating a woman with a felony on her record? Yes because people can change, but I'd be on the lookout to vet this woman to see if she's actually turned over a new leaf or if I'm potentially at risk of being harmed. Likewise she would be looking for one of those Evangelist types who wouldn't judge her at all and assume the best in her. I've made the mistake of assuming the best in people, rarely do people meet or exceed what I see is possible in them, so instead I let them prove to me through actions. Your post only verifies red pill dogma of any male who has any standards that disqualify a woman based on her actions is obviously insecure and needs to stfu and man up. You're not going to convince anyone sane using that sort of language nor ideology. The reason men are attracted to trp, even despite all the bullshit on it, is because it does something than try to shame them into compliance.

Virgin or not, a woman who's had some loser's dick in her mouth is unappealing, the man's actions doesn't change the visceral response he has to that, and he has a right to feel the way he does. Likewise if a woman is saying she won't date a man for whatever reason, too short, too fat, too poor, too bald, too "socially award", whatever excuse, does she not also have the right to feel the way she does? Or would you likewise liken their preferences, however justified, to "you don't own him, and you don't control his life".

It is shitty what you're saying, because it's shit advice. You're not even giving any actual reasons you're just telling him it's wrong to think or feel the way he does and to get some help because it's not ok to have standards. Like I said before, this is why trp exists is that very argument. Only an idiot would be so self sacrificial as to have no standards at all. Hell there's lots of men who are like that and it's easy to see that their life is wasted in jobs they hate, with women who hate them, and their life is wasted being a slave.

[–]PM-ME-Y0UR-NUDES 9 points10 points11 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[+]aanarchist-7 points-6 points-5 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

See I was hoping you would have some sort of civil and rational thing to say. The fact that instead of addressing anything I said you went straight for passive aggressive insults really says it all, about you, and what this subreddit stands for. This is of course all you can ever do is an ad hominem as I have presented a very clear and concise case, you will not be able to dispute it outside of trying to attack me, which you did.

So if someone came to you asking for you to disprove the red pill to them, stating their reasons and asking for a proper response, all you have to say is "Wow you're a retard", and all you had to say to the op was essentially telling him he has a mental illness without actually detailing why, just that he should believe you because you know what you're talking about apparantly. It's literally the same thing feminists extremists say when you don't nod your head to every turd that comes from their mouth.

What were you hoping to accomplish saying what you said? Or do you get off to attacking people. Frankly this is the blue pill expected reaction when you say anything that doesn't fit within their narrative. You're supposed to attack me when I challenge you, and you delivered. I'd say thank you for confirming what I already expected, but I'm actually pretty disappointed. I was hoping for something of substance, however little.

[–]PM-ME-Y0UR-NUDES 7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]aanarchist-3 points-2 points-1 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Absolutely deplorable. See in your shoes I would have taken the time to properly respond. Your disregard for human beings says it all. I don't know what your history with the red pill is, but it's obvious you're one of those hierarchy obsessed types. You need to believe that you're better than me, if only by virtue of some label politics nonsense. Unfortunately no matter what cult or label it is, there will always be sociopathic types in it. So far I've been civil towards you, the only toxicity has been from you. Maybe someday you'll realize wake up and realize that your shit stinks too.

I don't really like the red pill either, it's long since been a dead movement. Unfortunately for you though, your attitude only fuels it. This is what they call a useful idiot is kind of like how the feminist extremists want to get rid of "toxic masculinity" and are inadvertently creating more and more of it through their actions.

[–]PM-ME-Y0UR-NUDES1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link