I am naturally very quiet with both men and women and this is an obstacle for me when it comes to meeting women. I don´t really want a relationship. What I am really interested is casual sex. As far as I can tell the best way to go about it is to feel very confident and be fun to be around. I have tried to change my mentality ( not giving a fuck, feeling like I am the shit,...) and to be honest is really really helpful. But I am incapable to be more talkative and fun. I don´t know how to be casual. My only obstacle to achive the lifestyle that I want is that I am too quiet, don´t go out much and don´t know where to even begin.

Besides that, I also think I want casual sex as a fom of validation. I feel like I wasted my teenage years and will waste my youth (I am 20). Is really hurtul the sensation of missing out. Although there is part of me that honestly just wants sex. I have been reading about how men should be more sensitive , less entitle and so on. It boils my blood everytime. It feels as if the world is manipulating me to behave in a manner that they know would destroy my chances at getting laid. I know the masculinity they refer to is a different kind of masculinity that I write about (there is a difference between being an asshole and be firm and confident). I want to hear that I need to toughen up, stop whining, be more masculine! but all I hear is the same crap: just be you, don´t approach strangers, don´t look for casual sex, befriend women and find a relationship!

A need help with all this mess.