quitting oneitis

absolutebeginners · 2017-02-18T16:16:57+00:00

You hired an underage prostitute, felt bad, and fell in love? Its not a fucking "friend zone" dude. She thinks you are her friend. Quit being such a shitty person and tell her how you feel and if she doesn't agree, politely leave her alone if you can't be friends with her.

Shes not gonna magically start wanting to fuck you because you are ignoring her phone calls...

RedMedi · 2017-02-18T16:34:11+00:00

Dude, you have build a substantial friendship with this woman. It's clear that you are close to one another. Are you really going to just throw that away? Were you only her friend to have sex with her?

You have two paths as I see it:

1) If you like her as a person and find your friendship valuable: stay friends, ask her out as she may say yes now she's single. If she says no, you can move on and maintain the friendship if you are mature.

2) If you don't particularly like her and were manipulating her to have sex with her then I suggest you tell her in person or over the phone that you are dealing with some issues and need some space to deal with it.

Please, don't sacrifice a good friendship on the altar of the Red Pill. Forget about "friendzone", "nexting", "seduction" just be real with her and ask her out.

FixinThePlanet · 2017-02-18T23:53:46+00:00

Don't use manipulation you learnt on TRP and then ask people here for advice. We will tell you that manipulation is wrong even if it works because manipulating someone makes you a shitty person nobody should trust.

If I found out a friend was "soft nexting" me and being passive aggressive in an attempt to make me interested, instead of being honest and open about his feelings, that friendship would be over because he would have made it perfectly clear he did not respect my ability to make decisions.

Ask yourself if you really respect this person because the way you talk about her sounds like you don't.

Your option 1 sounded fairly sensible. Figure out what you want and ask for it instead of trying to con it out of someone. Be prepared for all possible outcomes and have self respect about accepting whatever happens. Right now you are being a shitty friend and nobody would want to date someone who treats them like that.

coveredwthsores · 2017-02-19T00:32:28+00:00

... let me guess... You spend money on her don't you

lukeyj_gtfc · 2017-02-18T16:41:23+00:00

Either she likes you or she doesn't. The uncertainty is affecting you.

It could go either way. Make a move. If she's into it, good start, if not chances are it is a write off. Accept the answer, she's not that into you. If you do succeed, keep it in that lines, don't allow it to go back to friendship. Be clear you don't want to be friends and you don't want to be fwb if you have to talk about it. If you're cutting her out, be honest. At least she'll know and can make her choice from it.

She did choose 2 ltr in the mean time so odds aren't great. Can you two be intimate without alcohol. If not, it's almost a bit of a lie. She has to be attracted to you sober.

mister_max · 2017-02-20T15:40:20+00:00

You have to resolve your own limiting beliefs, specifically that of a lack of self worth.

Fundamentally you don't love yourself, otherwise you wouldn't subject yourself to such a relationship where you are not meeting your needs but are meeting the needs of the other. If what you want from her is something she is not willing to give you, then she is no longer worth your time. Period. End.

You must not be friends with a woman for whom you have genuine desire if she will not reciprocate it. In the long run this will only hurt your self esteem and encourage her to take advantage of your feelings for her even more.

If you can get over it and find another woman, then perhaps you can be friends. Or if you no longer see her that way and will treat her PURELY as a friend (i.e.: no favors in the hopes that it will get you in her pants..)

I'm sure you know most of this already of course..

RedPillDetox · 2017-02-18T16:35:26+00:00

Well, i'm not trying to be judgemental or anything, but here's the thing. First, she's a prostitute (or a former one). I'd say that's a red flag for most people. Are you sure you share the same values as this girl? Like i said, i don't wanna be judgemental but one can't deny that prostitution is often tied to messed up psychological issues and lifestyle, like low self-steem, tendency to exploit and being exploited, drug abuse, dangerous social circle, etc.

But anyway, you're the one who knows the girl and you think she's awesome. Assuming that she is indeed the kind of girl that you want by your side, it's been years. She knows you have a crush on her. She just wants to be your friend. Why bother? If your normal self is not attractive for her then maybe you should invest time in looking for someone who likes you for who you are. Why act desinterested and come up with all the games of pretenses just to get a girl who has never liked you to like you back? Particulary given that it's been years and she had 3 LTRs already? I don't wanna kill your hope here, but if you like yourself you shouldn't behave a certain way just to get someone else to like you. I frankly think you should move on, there's probably many other great women out there who want to be with you.

Title	quitting oneitis
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	18
Date	February 18, 2017 2:17 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/5uslw4/quitting_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/quitting-oneitis.300325 https://theredarchive.com/post/300325

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