Racist friends

princessbubbbles · 2024-08-19T02:35:16+00:00

Not hanging out with them is not the same as condemning them as awful people. Yall have drifted apart, and that's okay. They'll either figure themsleves out or not. You can distance yourself and have occasional afternoon/evening hangouts.

xvszero · 2024-08-19T03:16:14+00:00

It's not just humour. They're racists. And probably other forms of bigots too.

I'd find some new friends.

ooa3603 · 2024-08-19T03:25:43+00:00

there is truth in jokes

Kind of. You're close. There can be truth in what a person believes in jokes

Humor as concept is very hard to define, but one of its core principles is that it is almost directly derived from your values.

You don't find this stuff funny anymore because your values have changed.

We cannot judge them as terrible people YET, but we can say they have not learned to introspect on their values and how their resulting jokes reveal what they actually think about other people who aren't them.

So in you position I'd:

First work on finding new friends: this is isn't as complicated as you think. Just sign up for as many activities you think you might enjoy and go to them regularly. But it can be difficult because you will have to get outside of your comfort zone and be vulnerable.
Slowly make it clear you don't find their humor that funny anymore. Doesn't have to be some grandiose declarations, just don't laugh at first. Then when they notice, explain why it makes you uncomfortable because you empathize with the position of the demographics that are being made fun of. Eventually they will realize you've changed and will probably try to attack back. If there's one thing people don't like its being made aware that their opinions suck. You will probably lose all of them as friends and maybe all of this isn't worth the hassle to you but the reason I would do this is because it may reveal that you weren't the only one that was uncomfortable with this. You may be surprised how many might change course. Or they could all just double down, who knows.

One thing I've noticed is that most people think they are fearless leaders, but only a few have the courage to actually do the things it takes to be one. You can decide to be the leader who has the courage to stand up for this. But let me make this clear don't feel that you have to. You are not their savior, these are grown adults. They are accountable for their behavior not you. You have your own life to live, and if you want to help them with self development like your GF did for you, that's admirable, but that's not your obligation.

P.S. This is all assuming their racist jokes are racist and not dark humor. Like I said humor is hard to pin down and dark humor is especially hard because you can be humorous making jokes that include dark topics like racism and SA, etc, and it doesn't mean you actually value these things.

Words are hard, which means communication is hard which means humor is even harder.

However since they are average joes and not experienced comics who's skill at humor has been tested with diverse audiences I doubt they are just using dark humor.

PS.S:

Just to say. They would never go out their way to be racist in real life to anyone and treat people at face value but there is truth in jokes and I don't feel good being associated with these people.

This isn't enough and never has been. It's easy to be modify your behavior when the stakes are low, but time and time again its been revealed that your values reveal behavior when the stakes are high. These people (if they choose to double down on racism and thus reveal themselves as racist) won't be racist to anyone's face but they'll be the type to vote for Trump in secret at the polls.

Title	Racist friends
Author	KitchenRevenue4042
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	August 19, 2024 1:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1evpfpq/racist_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/racist-friends.1527667 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527667

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