I’ve been trying to so better in terms of trying to socialize but it’s been hard because I live in a part of New Jersey that’s urbanized but not as many events or places to go to still. I don’t know how that’s possible. I’ve been in other subs trying to find out places in NJ to visit for events and socialization.

The damages have been done however, I still can’t really get over the 80/20 rule and it’s not why you think but because of the end goal. I know 80/20 isn’t true to serious relationships and marriage but rather causal sex. It’s not the casual sex part that bothers me. It’s the fact that since most the majority enter hookup culture and be with the top guys, the only reason they would date average guys or normal guys is if they settled.

I’ve realized looks may not be as subjective as portrayed but at this point my bar is in the floor. I’m just looking for a breathing woman who isn’t ridiculously obese, I’m more than fine however with chubiiness as I personally find many types attractive.

Despite this I’m still trying to find someway to escape the grasp and the pull. Going to do my best to socialize but it hasn’t been easy so far. But it’s the only way.