Am i shallow ?

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-08-20T16:06:15+00:00

I am not sure your cultural context but you are not shallow at all. You are allowed to have values, standards, boundaries, and expectations to vet if a person is worth entertaining as a potential romantic partner. You have the right to decide a person is not "right" for you FOR ANY DAMN REASON because you are not a man's property. You do not owe men additional concessions or chances if you feel they are not putting effort into their appearance as it showcases they are not prioritizing their health, wellbeing, and it sounds like an orange flag.

Don't permit mainstream society and our worldwide internalized sexism gaslight you into thinking your standards and expectations in a potential romantic partner are unreasonable. It's much more risky and dangerous for women to be married to the WRONG man than it is for men to be married to the WRONG woman on many levels. We have the right to be picky because the odds are not in our favor.

smallishtree · 2020-08-20T16:44:51+00:00

I will say, every time I broke up with an ex, my friends and family would say, “oh my god, I didn’t want to say it because you liked him, but you were too hot for him. It didn’t make sense to me.” And all those guys were LVM (not that there’s correlation) but it did make me realize the ways I was settling. And also, it didn’t feel good knowing I was “the hot one” in the relationship. You should both be hot! It’s not a competition! Be with someone you find attractive right out of the gate, not like me, who talked myself into this “beauty and the beast” mentality.

howdoilogoutt · 2020-08-20T20:32:38+00:00

That's awful that your parents are trying to get you into a relationship, you should stay firm and be single if you prefer that. Of course it's not shallow to want to date a guy you're attracted to!

gollywollypod · 2020-08-20T16:59:27+00:00

I don’t think you’re shallow. You deserve to date someone that you are super attracted to! Family members tend to assume that being in a relationship is better than being single because they think the guy will “take care of you.” Most of us know that is rarely the case so definitely stick to your guns and focus on yourself if you are not currently interested in dating.

Title	Am i shallow ?
Author	NUTELLALOVER97
Upvotes	29
Comments	6
Date	August 20, 2020 3:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/idcdb7/am_i_shallow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/am-i-shallow.168287 https://theredarchive.com/post/168287

Comments