~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.The puppy was the hardest part of the whole thing and I had the common sense to KNOW after day 5 of the puppy being there, it was a ploy to keep me hooked and/or stay invested in the relationship because his manipulative, sulky ass would have no leg to stand on otherwise. He paid for the puppy (a breed so I don't agree since I'm an adoption type TBH) in cash and "surprised" me with the puppy during one of the weekends I was away as a final lovebombing ploy. I loved the puppy and she brought me j… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:40 AM |
| 8 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.I was new to FDS then so I am sure there are things I missed and I'm sure there are aspects of my previous posts that spoke too soon with eager energy that I "GOT FDS" as it if was some type of milestone to complete, but I have the wisdom to own that I didn't realize it's a continual process. The beginning felt like an amazing rollercoaster of emotions and respect, but really it was lovebombing and my naive ass falling prey to a seasoned covertly abusive manipulator. I am not an expert and ackno… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:34 AM |
| 5 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.Yes! And even the "potential fiancé and wedding planning process" should be detailed and include provisions to protect your best interests before things are finalized. Wedding planned, deposits set, wedding license and/or prenuptial lawyer meetings, STI/STD tests, etc. The stakes are much higher for women than men if they fall into a shitty marriage and anyone who tells you otherwise is not FDS aligned or the person you should be accepting guidance/input from IMO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:24 AM |
| 7 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.Thank you! It's been nothing but positive changes and new opportunities since I lost that baggage. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:22 AM |
| 17 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.Thanks for sharing your story, especially on this space. Our stories can be so easy from a distance to be like, "never move in" or "don't go 50/50" but the reality is...we are human and being a woman under the patriarchy conditions us in a variety of ways depending on our past traumas/lived experiences until we found FDS, but there comes a point where each of us found FDS and have decided to make a change. I love this space because it's the hard look in the mirror I need. These stories are commo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:21 AM |
| 12 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.If they aren't 100% secure as a human, they will just drag us down and the stakes for women are much higher. A 50/50 man is a LVM at best and a ZVM/NVM at worst. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:13 AM |
| 20 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.Now that I live with my parents, I wish I had done this sooner. It's the best scenario to level up because I am under their roof, their rules, and I am saving money. Being there forces you to be selective with who you allow at their residence and inner circle. Dating aside (something I am NOT DOING FOR REASONS now), being there actually helped me find deeper new adult female friendships with like-minded people. I made 2 new friends and although they are new friendships, they are in the same boat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:12 AM |
| 32 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.You're right, there were SO MANY RED FLAGS and I was so new to FDS with my healing journey. I think I wanted to adhere to FDS but also didn't want to BELIEVE AND ADHERE TO it 1000% because I didn't want to accept that men really be that way! But they are. There are countless stories like mine for a reason. Listen to the sisterhood! I'm still healing and not going to entertain the validation of men because it's clearly a trigger that had led to some poor choices that could have had worse outcomes… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:08 AM |
| 36 | UPDATE: Part 1 of my 3 experience implementing the 3 month rule. I HAVE MADE A HUUUUUGE MISTAKE with cohabitation.That was a HUGE LESSON LEARNED with sharing a timeline. I will never do that shit again. The only timeline you should share is with yourself to assess what you want for your best life. Or a trusted therapist. But never a man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 12:03 AM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Hey OP, I just logged into my FDS account and saw this so I hope that you're on your way to the new path or are starting to make moves because YOU DESERVE to have a life where you feel safe, valued, and can be the best version of yourself without negative toxic humans telling you otherwise! I'm sure you are learning a lot since you wrote this, but hope all is well <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 03:20 PM |
| 5 | Not even 3 weeks post break up, and he's already back on TinderIt takes time to get there, but once you realize how much women are encouraged to romanticize, put men on a pedestal, and/or waste time "trying to make things work" or wallowing about some man that isn't even 1/4 of the partner you were to them...you find PEACE and the gains you get in your personal life once you take away that focus can bring you much more than a few breadcrumbs and a few moments of giddiness from a romantic prospect you overinvested in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/21 10:26 PM |
| 30 | FDS in action at Whole FoodsYASSS I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/09/21 12:08 AM |
| 8 | Not even 3 weeks post break up, and he's already back on TinderI know it can feel hard to let this go when you invested time in dating them, especially when the mask of who they are fell, but now that you know this about them....what are YOU getting out of this by continuing to look at their Tinder profile? It doesn't matter if he isn't evaluating his toxic behavior. He isn't your problem anymore! He choose to act in those toxic manners. There are man that have 10000+ more things going on with 10000X more stress and things in their day-to-day lives to manag… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 09:05 PM |
| 3 | This woman I reached out to on a sub wants your thoughts and opinions on her situation.So, I hope this woman finds FDS and starts their healing journey here. The "inner work" of healing and finding FDS can completely shatter your previous misconceptions, values system, and reframe everything you have ever learned about the dating world from the pickme role models, our society, peers, tv/media, etc. I know they are trying to manage a depressive episode and it may FEEL tempting to "get closure" or in a moment of feeling down, feel compelled to seek connection from a NVM that is supe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 08:50 PM |
| 279 | FDS in action at Whole FoodsTHIS IS GROWTH QUEEN!!! <3 Proud of you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 08:31 PM |
| 2 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageI'm so sorry you had to experience that with a NVM/ZVM but I am glad it landed you here and giving me some encouragement today. Jane Austen novels are classics because they hold up against the test of time with how a HVM operates if they are respecting their partner and the themes are very relevant today. I joke I either need a "Stedman to my Oprah", "Mary to my RBG" or some type of Jane Austen situation for me to ever believe a true HVM exists, but I am not deliberately going to seek them out a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 05:57 PM |
| 4 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageI wish I had a coins to give you gold for this because I appreciate the breakdown and honestly, in hindsight the signs were all there...which is why the Pickme Recovery and inner work is essential. You're right--I was starting FDS when I did my original post and it really was not me fully committing to the principals. They say in NA/AA that "it doesn't work unless you work it" which can also be applied top Pickme Recovery when adhering/starting FDS. Since breaking up with this POS, I've had more… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 03:29 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriage<333 I plan to write a separate post in a few weeks about some more in-depth considerations related to ADHD/Mental Health for vetting men too as well as some additional security considerations because there were quite a few things I learned form this. I do not wish this experience upon anyone and plan to share as much as I have learned from this for you all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 02:55 PM |
| 3 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageThank you for your kind words. I am still processing a lot of it, but am starting a draft of some of the breakdown of this relationship as there was a lot of red flags and subtle clues that seemed "ambiguous" at the time, but once it was confirmed they were a NVM as well as some emotionally abusive (then anger that demonstrated they were grooming me for physical/sexual abuse) I knew I had to be strategic/safe and get out. One thing I will highlight right now is that any man that tries to isolate… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/21 02:51 PM |
| 11 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageThank you Queen! Now that I'm safe, I'll never stop lurking and posting on FDS again!!! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 11:50 PM |
| 22 | In every interaction with a man, you should be asking yourself "what do I get out of this?"Yeah men who are afraid of women who are "golddiggers" tend to have no gold to dig to begin with... Those who come from money tend to live slightly above average "normal middle class standards" by most cultures/geographic areas within their day-to-day lives but the difference is that they do no bat an eye to offer to pay every time for a dinner, date, or social interaction to invest in a woman they are attracted to and/or would like to get to know better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 11:46 PM |
| 24 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageIt's comical they are getting so defensive with what you are choosing to do for YOUR OWN WELLBEING as a grownass 30+ woman in the dating world, projection much? Like, clearly they don't have to date you if they disagree! LMFAO I literally can't with people justifying "liberal dating rules" to perpetuate the patriarchy. It's wrapped in a "woke" ribbon, but it's the same sexist window dressing, different color. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 07:49 PM |
| 35 | In every interaction with a man, you should be asking yourself "what do I get out of this?"One ploy they will do to appear as if they are financially secure and to try to manipulate your trust is using a deceased elderly relative that recently passed and use their information (pictures, obituary) as "proof" that they are "awaiting an estate settlement" but as someone who has family that received a formal "estate settlement", anyone who isn't able to give a concrete timeline through their estate lawyer and/or will executor (or at least a general timeframe of usually 1-3 years tradition… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 07:47 PM |
| 16 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageI never fully told the NVM POS my mental health conditions explicitly..., however, it was evident that they would try to ease drop during my teletherapy sessions during covid. The first 2 times, I was naïve to think it was an earnest "wrong place and trying to coexist/work from home during the pandemic" type of deal since many people were dealing with that, but my therapist shared they sensed they saw them near the stairs before coming up to listen longer once we had an in-person session a few w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 07:38 PM |
| 28 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageYeah and the final straw was me setting a boundary with them during a planned vacation that let to them trying to intimidate me by stomping, slamming doors, and punching the drop ceiling tiles in his bedroom when I "came back and messed up the house after brining in my suitcase from vacation because I didn't immediately unpack my things in my travel bag upon my return" after I drove 5 hours to visit a friend I had not seen in nearly 2 years from the pandemic. During my visit with her, she brough… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 07:27 PM |
| 7 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageThank you Queen and yes, having my core group of support (female friends) were my anchor as I was trying to figure out why my "gut" feeling was off initially since I was coming off some heavy duty meds for my mental health. HVW will ask to videochat with a friend's significant other and try to ask probing questions. Since I had 3 friends that committed to doing this, it was very helpful to have some extra sets of eyes/ears to connect the trickle truths and other fuckery I started to see as my me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 07:16 PM |
| 97 | In every interaction with a man, you should be asking yourself "what do I get out of this?"Men are transactional. We need to also be that way too for our own protection. Stay observant. Follow their actions and patterns of behaviors that are tangible/concrete rather than their word. Ask for evidence if they claim XYZ early on the dating process... "talking to my financial advisor for an estate settlement" may be big talk from a potentially LVM to make you feel like they will be an equal if you move in with them before a formal engagement, but ask them---who is their financial advisor,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 06:19 PM |
| 188 | In every interaction with a man, you should be asking yourself "what do I get out of this?"Questions to assess: What does a woman get by CHOOSING to have a planned pregnancy without marriage? No legal protections and 50/50 forever fiancé/gf as well as the opportunity for their partner to have less legal accountability if they dip out. And it creates more paperwork for the woman! What does a woman get by deciding to do a 50/50 cohabitation situation before they are formally married and/or engaged? You will get the occasional lay, but also feel compelled to take or (or the partner feels… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 06:13 PM |
| 15 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageYour sanctuary sounds lovely and I hope to get on that path in the next few months myself! Since living at home, I've gotten off my antidepressant (turns out, being with a LVM was the common denominator) and have job interviews lined up for the next few weeks to find something that will pay decent to eventually get my own place, but I also compiled a list of like-minded females that I would consider living with that also follow FDS to keep moving forward. It's amazing what a NVM/LVM can do in a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:56 PM |
| 5 | As I was leaving he attacked me and I went to jail. View previous post pictures in linkI am so sorry this happened to you and that ASSWIPE POS was abusive then did a smear campaign to retaliate for you using the system AS IT WAS INTENDED (to protect human lives, particularly women/children) to continue to abuse you from afar. I would encourage you to seek a Domestic Violence advocate or shelter if you are in the USA as there are often lawyers and advocates that are well versed in the laws, polices and options. If you can't afford a lawyer, you are entitled to a public defender and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:46 PM |
| 87 | Tell me all of your favourite ways to treat yourself to a date!For low cost "date with myself", I like to do a Youtube painting night where I find some artists that do those "painting with wine" types of DIY tutorial videos for free and will drink some wine as I recreate their paintings for fun. It gets me creative and it's something you can do at a low cost. There are some dollar stores nearby that have full bottles of acrylic paints and canvases or you can buy an intro set of paints and easily find a video on Youtube that has a few basic colors so you don… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:33 PM |
| 26 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageThank you for your kind words. One thing that I didn't realize (until just now) is that once I started the process of moving into their place formally, he started installing "security cameras" outside that had audio and there was always an excuse for them to monitor me indirectly so I felt in my GUT something was off and luckily, I had the foresight to let 3 of my closest friends know that I was on some mental health medication changes that could impact my memory so I asked for them to also take… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:28 PM |
| 39 | UPDATE: My Experience Implementing the 3 Month Rule of FDS. TDLR: For your own protection, wait EVEN LONGER than 3 months, preferably 6+. Men are sheep in wolf's clothing when they are trying to get a 50/50 roommate and after this, I will NEVER cohabitate with a man again until marriageYes, it was all love bombing and at the time, I felt 3-4 months was adequate. We live and we learn! The second I started noticing the red flags, I had moved and signed some housing related contracts so I had to lay low for a few months and use the time they were working to get all of that sorted out. I was intentional in making sure I did this while they were at work and would do anything that he could somehow monitor away from the house or at my friends/family as I would visit to prepare then s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 05:08 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InThanks for taking the time to write me back. I am trying to hold myself accountable and put my needs first so what I've been reflecting upon is that I've never had a healthy, romantic love that was rooted in respect and equality between two parties in my upbringing so I am trying to not read into low effort male behaviors early on and excuse them and/or allow a man to justify their lack of action and/or lack of effort when I sense a shift in energy. Since FDS, I have been very clear in what my e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/21 02:48 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InI'm like mourning and accepting that the potentially HVM I had vetted and followed FDS guidebook rules may potentially be a LVM hiding behind a mask. The fact that I actually tried justifying him being ToO bUsY bEcAuSe He wAs aN eSseNtIaL wOrkEr by not writing anything beyond an "I love you" on a basic ass valentine's day card initially had me revert back to a moment of pickme denial that was triggered within my inner wounded child, but after my therapist appointment (she's a radical feminist, s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 03:09 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InWhat color did you go with? That sounds like a lovely way to spend the day! :) Hope she embraces the new chapter--once I started investing just as much time on myself and supporting like-minded Queens that were FDS aligned in my workplace that are older/married, it really changed my life for the better and at a more aggressive rate in a positive way. You two should plan something fun with each other and celebrate! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/21 02:49 AM |
| 4 | Should I make amends ?Right now you are probably hurting and taking things hour by hour or minute to minuity by obsessing about this to get a sense of closure because you are feeling so many emotions and I want to affirm that this is a totally normal reaction when you feel deeply hurt and/or trying to process what you just went through because you are still dealing with the initial unexpected shock of it. Do you have a friend or a therapist or some type of natural support (colleague, a personal journal to do journali… | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 01:37 AM |
| 7 | A (seemingly) HVM gave me his number. Now what?My observations are: You are classifying a complete stranger that you have never met a HVM when you literally do not know this person at all. At best, he is a POTENTIALLY HVM but at worst---this is a predatory NVM that could put your safety at risk by letting your guard down and allowing the flattery drive yourself into a daydreaming mode where you are putting a man on a pedestal. One of the first things of FDS to remember is: never to put a man on a pedestal because dick is abundant and low val… | /r/askFDS | 19/02/21 01:19 AM |
| 4 | We have PickMes, Cool Girls - but do we have a word for entitled "Queen Bee wannabe" women like Diana Sawyer?Part 2 of the Regina George Characteristics this type of dangerous woman in academia/education continued..... Regina George would try to jump into the female professors having casual conversations at conferences and engaging in career topics by providing 1-2 tips to hook us to her knowledge/area then would INTENTIONALLY BRING or CONNECT WHATEVER TF WE WERE DISCUSSING (even if it wasn't related to him AT ALL--like an exact opposite of his field would even get him an invite) and bring him in and/o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 09:11 PM |
| 5 | We have PickMes, Cool Girls - but do we have a word for entitled "Queen Bee wannabe" women like Diana Sawyer?In academia/education, this type of Regina George/Mean Girl trope of a toxic woman is extremely prevalent. A senior professor once openly stated they wanted to hire me because I'm "easy on the eyes" (barf) despite having advanced degrees and was very clearly the applicant with the most related experience based on their professional experiences and merit for the position compared to the other (male) counterparts. In addition to saying I was "hot" (He was a geriatric/Boomer tenured NVM professor t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 09:10 PM |
| 3 | We have PickMes, Cool Girls - but do we have a word for entitled "Queen Bee wannabe" women like Diana Sawyer?I hate the whole "stay sweet" brainwashing they will do once you are hooked and have a sense of community with the mistreatment while serving the males in power. Watching Sister Wives this season just amplified how NVM polygamy scrote "Kotex" as I call him (Kody from the show) because when his 4 wives emotionally share how challenging it is to "engage in The Principle" (polygamy) with having him be a deadbeat father to all 4 families, he spins it around to play the victim about his "God-ly" resp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 05:43 PM |
| 11 | We have PickMes, Cool Girls - but do we have a word for entitled "Queen Bee wannabe" women like Diana Sawyer?In addition to u/Altowhovian93 suggestion for a cute coined word to encompass the Queen Bee mentality, I also wanted to offer a suggestion for another subtype of dangerous women that is focused on faith to triangulate women and/or support the LVM/NVM by befriending you as another prospective female friend interested in exploring some type of faith based community and/or religious institution/volunteerism/organizational work that perpetuates strict gender norms and roles--particularly ones where … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/21 02:19 AM |
| 14 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.She would get defensive when I would do that when I was younger and/or try to make excuses or allow my LVM to justify his mental health as an excuse for his mistreatment and verbal abuse What I am doing now that has actually started working slightly and has improved her relationship with my LVM dad is when she shares/talks about me and my dating life in a positive light. Since my dad is a LVM, he was awful to my mom. However, since he is a LVM he also somehow sees me in a different light than my… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 11:05 PM |
| 17 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.It's painful for sure and there will be days (even years from now), that something may trigger feelings of occasional negative self-reflection/rumination and/or self-blame that will not serve you well. And that's okay. Be kind to the woman you are becoming--you had to adapt to a challenging environment where you had to survive with what you knew at the time, but now that you have learned better--you now have the power, tools, encouragement, and support of FDS to do better. So now that you are le… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 10:06 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InI'll preface with this: it's hard for me to discern the tone/delivery of HOW he communicated that "he assumed you were dating other people but he didn't care about deleting the app since he likes how things are going between you two" because when I initially read it, my inner thought monologue process is this: First, I interpreted how he delivered the response as he communicated this information to you as it seems like the tone would be very passive (possibly calm?) which feels uneasy to me. Sin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 09:46 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InOOH my bad! I misread that at first and that's 100% on me. I'm sure I initially came off as aggressive towards them, but that a was because I thought you mean he didn't delete the dating apps and was not willing to stop seeing other people when you suggested exclusivity rather than a yes but since it's a yes, that def. clarifies it and I'll change my response with added context: Since he is an ER doctor with an odd schedule, I would give them some grace personally with the actually seeing each o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 08:23 PM |
| 3 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.Same Queen! Hugs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 07:54 PM |
| 31 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.When I was in college once, my dad claimed he had a "mental health relapse" when my mom got a promotion at her job and she (eventually) out-earned him in $$$. He spent money from their joint account (she made 70% of the income and he was the benefits with 30% income) to buy professional sports team tickets for a game with his buddies that was the legit amount of a family vacation to Disney World for him and his "work buddies" along with my brother to go to a professional front row sports game in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 07:46 PM |
| 22 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.Ask those LVM to explain the joke to you and have them mansplain their fuckery to have them out their depravity then block/delete. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 07:40 PM |
| 13 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.I also was in a very challenging/toxic enviroment with some signficant mental health with a LVM that would justify their condition to mistreat my mother when he "lost his cool" due to a mood disorder and would yell. I guess my perspective is that I find yelling when you are angry an orange flag and would find that to be very hard to move past if my partner expressed their anger in a way that raised their voice to trigger a fight or flight response within me if they decided to raise their voice a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 07:37 PM |
| 23 | Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.This anger is the anger that is directed towards women are often because we hold men accountable for mistreating us, testing the waters with our boundaries to see what they can get away with in the relationship to exploit us, and such. Anger is of course a healthy, human emotion for HV people but if you are feeling angry at a person you care about because they acted in a manner or engaged in behavior that intentionally (aka DELIBERATE and/or NEGLECTFULLY) caused you harm and/or feeling upset by … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 06:33 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InFirst, I want to let you know how proud that you found FDS and am realizing that this is something you need to prioritize for yourself. At the end of the day, FDS is a philosophy and a lifestyle you need to apply and self-reflect/assess daily for your wellbeing and happiness moving forward in your healing journey. When I first found FDS, I was in a really bad place and a complete pickme. I consider myself now a "recovering pickme" and Queen today, but the first 6 months of reading the FDS handbo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 06:26 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-InBased on what you have shared, it seems like the actions he is presenting indicates he does not value you or your time. At 31 the dumb fox "It'S jUsT a WeEkEnD aNd It'S jUsT a CoMMeRiCaL hOlIdAy" isn't going to cut it. So you let him know, you spoke your truth, and he let you know he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. I know it was a silent revelation but when a man spins the "it's not like I am seeing other people which is why I didn't delete my dating app" and blows you off despite … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 06:16 PM |
| 28 | Mom praising son-in-law for the bare minimum 👏🏻You are right that the best thing our moms have taught us is how to flip the narrative so she can see us live the life she imagined for herself. It's bittersweet and am very grateful for her sacrifice but it breaks my heart because I wish she knew how amazing she was and how much happier she would be alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 06:00 PM |
| 95 | Mom praising son-in-law for the bare minimum 👏🏻This. My dad is a LVM for sure because my grandparents groomed him (youngest child and ONLY BOY) so his male entitlement and enablement towards women's time & attention & emotional labor was so conditioned by the time he hooked my mom, she was deep in with me & my bro. He didn't buy my mom fucking FLOWERS when I was born. Their first born child. 16 Hours of labor. He fainted when she was in labor because of the blood. Yes, the first hour of labor had him shook so they had to dismiss my mom in FU… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 03:45 PM |
| 2 | It's sad enough to see how many women drift into cohabitation due to the libfem brainwashing from LVM/NVM telling them ThEy cAn bE sO eMpOwErEd wHeN wE aCcEpT sCraPs aS a 50/50 GF but having Venmo to showcase how much men nickle & dime & exploit the women they date for maximum benefit is proof...If the NVM has a child, I would guarantee he would also "pLaYfUlLy JoKe" that "he will suffer" without sEcKs wItH pOsTParTuM sO I wIlL gEt a LoT oF bJs fOr 6-12 wEeKs UnTiL wE cAn hAvE sEcKs then also insensitively neg the pickme about opening their relationship to give her hints of their disrespectful antics | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/21 03:40 PM |
| 9 | It's sad enough to see how many women drift into cohabitation due to the libfem brainwashing from LVM/NVM telling them ThEy cAn bE sO eMpOwErEd wHeN wE aCcEpT sCraPs aS a 50/50 GF but having Venmo to showcase how much men nickle & dime & exploit the women they date for maximum benefit is proof...SCREAMING @ pickme city with Venmo | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 10:29 PM |
| 35 | It's sad enough to see how many women drift into cohabitation due to the libfem brainwashing from LVM/NVM telling them ThEy cAn bE sO eMpOwErEd wHeN wE aCcEpT sCraPs aS a 50/50 GF but having Venmo to showcase how much men nickle & dime & exploit the women they date for maximum benefit is proof...The grooming for 50/50 cohabitation from LVM/NVM is a orange flag at best, but at worst it's a HUGE red flag. Grooming a woman for abuse is very gradual and many of the protections of things you "should of done" in hindsight once you realize the severity of the LVM/NVM depravity/BS, it continues to indirectly drag a woman's personal finances back at least 6 months to 2 years out post-breakup and/or create additional "pink taxes" related to cohabitation once the LVM/NVM discards and/or you dump h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 08:15 PM |
| 24 | It's sad enough to see how many women drift into cohabitation due to the libfem brainwashing from LVM/NVM telling them ThEy cAn bE sO eMpOwErEd wHeN wE aCcEpT sCraPs aS a 50/50 GF but having Venmo to showcase how much men nickle & dime & exploit the women they date for maximum benefit is proof...It just reminds me of the corny joke line "what do you call a group of Millennial men?"..... Punchline: A podcast! LVM/NVM podcast topics generally only appeal to men and toxic masculine culture in some capacity. A good podcast has HV people that have some type of intentional, substantial insights that are beyond flattering their general ego and social media presence or downloads | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/21 08:04 PM |
| 4 | Why Settling is Damaging Not NeutralYou have so many blessings in store Queen, 2 degrees and a career, damn! You had plenty of projects to get there and a LVM/NVM is not one on your to-do list, I know that's RIGHT! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/20 05:51 PM |
| 16 | Why Settling is Damaging Not NeutralSettling is damaging because a NVM/LVM is currently ALL THEY WILL EVER BE The difference between a toxic love with a LVM/NVM and an empowered one with a potentially HVM is this: A LVM/NVM will say whatever they can to make you FEEL LIKE they can help you face your own challenges as a team but NEVER deliver tangible actions that provide concrete evidence that he actually gives a damn about you outside of his own selfish gains he receives from you (sex, emotional validation, ego strokes, etc.). Yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/20 05:49 PM |
| 16 | If you are a male lurker and feel you are healthy partner & catch because you do not blatantly cheat, hit, financially exploit, get excessively jealous/controlling, or pull other explicitly abusive red, orange, or yellow flags--check yourself. You are not a king for not being explicitly abusive.A man can desire a woman sexually without wanting an intimate relationship with them romantically. They can also treat us as a human being without explicitly disrespect and be a decent human being towards a person that is allowing you access to their body for your own personal pleasure. That requires some trust and time together for it to be mutually benefical and it can feel like companionship, but the fact that he is being decent to you isn't "postive" behavior, it's socially acceptable behavi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/20 04:15 PM |
| 19 | If you are a male lurker and feel you are healthy partner & catch because you do not blatantly cheat, hit, financially exploit, get excessively jealous/controlling, or pull other explicitly abusive red, orange, or yellow flags--check yourself. You are not a king for not being explicitly abusive.I learned it once and that was enough for me | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/20 12:23 AM |
| 29 | If you are a male lurker and feel you are healthy partner & catch because you do not blatantly cheat, hit, financially exploit, get excessively jealous/controlling, or pull other explicitly abusive red, orange, or yellow flags--check yourself. You are not a king for not being explicitly abusive.Did he really think he deserved an award for not harming another human being he is in a romantic/intimate relationship with? Bet that clown asks his ex's to be friends because he doesn't know what friendship really means. SMH glad you're here sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/20 12:06 AM |
| 59 | If you are a male lurker and feel you are healthy partner & catch because you do not blatantly cheat, hit, financially exploit, get excessively jealous/controlling, or pull other explicitly abusive red, orange, or yellow flags--check yourself. You are not a king for not being explicitly abusive.If you are giving them a consistent supply of easy low effort sex without much in return on his end, he will continue to tell you what you want to hear or be "not sure" to lead you on. It's a hard lesson to learn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/20 12:03 AM |
| 44 | If you are a male lurker and feel you are healthy partner & catch because you do not blatantly cheat, hit, financially exploit, get excessively jealous/controlling, or pull other explicitly abusive red, orange, or yellow flags--check yourself. You are not a king for not being explicitly abusive.He was majorly projecting if that comment struck a cord. Bullet dodged. Seriously though. We are at risk dating and men think we are being "dramatic" but if that's the case, why does it keep happening top all the women I know who are very emotionally intelligent, strong, successful, empowered women? If anger was their first reaction to a difference in opinion where you feel your input is more reasonable, logical, etc. than your partners, you should probably go to therapy and focus inward rather … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 10:21 PM |
| 30 | If you are a male lurker and feel you are healthy partner & catch because you do not blatantly cheat, hit, financially exploit, get excessively jealous/controlling, or pull other explicitly abusive red, orange, or yellow flags--check yourself. You are not a king for not being explicitly abusive.Or the victim blame if the are able to identify that another male in their life is being a total shithead to a person they are dating by assuming that the woman must be doing wrong to deserve their cold, selfish, lazy actions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 10:19 PM |
| 2 | When someone shows you who they are the first time and all signs point to him being a LVM, don't let emotions dictate your logic and Queen energy. Walk away with grace and don't engage. He knows what he did and he thought he could get away with it, but that's not who you are anymore! <3LOVE MIDNIGHT GOSPEL!!!! :) YES 10000X | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:56 PM |
| 15 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsThe issue is not "why do I keep attracting LVM?" once you find FDS, the issue is "why do I keep allowing the LVM/NVM to continue to have access to my life and divine presence" once the teachings of FDS starts to resonate with the lurkers and recovering pickmes Congratulations on this step Queen! This is RIGHT WHERE WE ALL WANT TO BE!!! <3 Nothing more liberating than knowing you deserve the best and anything less isn't worth an ounce of your efforts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:56 PM |
| 18 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsSomewhere I read the wise statement "stop expecting you from other people" so with that in mind, my FDS stance on this is: "Stop expecting a HVW from a (most likely statistically speaking) potentially LVM" and ASSUME they are LVM unless proven otherwise. Even if they are displaying potentially HVM behaviors and actions early onto the dating process, if you read the FDS handbook the general timeline is NO LESS THAN 6 months should you determine if a man is "potentially HVM" and even then--men can… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:54 PM |
| 9 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsThe fact that we need to affirm and remind like-minded women that we should no longer be conditioned to "feel bad" about advocating for our boundaries and personal comfort level in the presence of (potentially dangerous LVM/NVM) men just speaks to how prevalent it still is among our day to day lives | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:46 PM |
| 15 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsIt's cute tho when those LVM tried to guilt us and justify why us rejecting them via ghosting is somehow more unfair than them doing that to us somehow? Gotta love the sexist double standard rebuttals as a desperate attempt to see if I'll entertain his lies as a pickme | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:45 PM |
| 16 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsBrene Brown says "clear is kind" in their work on leadership. If a man is a HVM, they value leading by example. Observe actions, not words, over a duration of time. Never stop being vigilant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:43 PM |
| 7 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsMost effective FDS strategy at the first hint of disrespect | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:41 PM |
| 7 | Remember that LVM/NVM are the rule and not the exception--anyone who tells you otherwise is a pickme. Men ghost us all the time, it's only fair to give them a taste of some eQuAliTy rIgHt nOw sInCe wOmEn hAvE aLl tHe DaTiNg AdVaNtAgEsGood riddance, we don't have time for that shit anymore | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 08:41 PM |
| 1 | Highlight is 20/20, but once you commit to FDS you have the tools, support, and information you need to learn better to do better. You walk away at the first hint of disrespect and/or entitlement now. But, you'll never forget the pain of learning firsthand how entitled men are. Remain observant...HAHAHA YEAH oooooops!!! Queen with a learning disability here which makes it really fun communicating in written forms and making embarrassing spelling errors a regular thing in my life lol. As a child, I spelled "cumin" (the spice)..."Cumming". Just gonna rock the spelling error now that I just noticed it lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 03:05 PM |
| 3 | Highlight is 20/20, but once you commit to FDS you have the tools, support, and information you need to learn better to do better. You walk away at the first hint of disrespect and/or entitlement now. But, you'll never forget the pain of learning firsthand how entitled men are. Remain observant...Projection at its finest Hyping up what a great partner you are and making that a huge point of focus early on in the dating process makes me go PROJECTION now because those men tend to be THE WORST once they think they have you forever in the palm of their greasy entitled lazy hands | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 03:03 PM |
| 4 | Highlight is 20/20, but once you commit to FDS you have the tools, support, and information you need to learn better to do better. You walk away at the first hint of disrespect and/or entitlement now. But, you'll never forget the pain of learning firsthand how entitled men are. Remain observant...The issue is that men don't recognize that emotional abuse and psychological abuse are not always Gone Girl extremism portrayed in the movies and media, but more like just them being selfish dickheads and making us feel like shit 24/7 with their entitlement so it makes them get defensive and/or uncomfortable when we imply it's similar or in the same realm of toxic behaviors as physical abuse but it's all cut from the same cloth... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 02:54 PM |
| 1 | Highlight is 20/20, but once you commit to FDS you have the tools, support, and information you need to learn better to do better. You walk away at the first hint of disrespect and/or entitlement now. But, you'll never forget the pain of learning firsthand how entitled men are. Remain observant...I had a man one tell me that "you came once today!" excited and giddy from his grandiose sense of sexual prowess energy and I told him "so?" He wanted me to stroke his ego for him TRYING TO SHOW ME HOW MUCH OF A SENSITIVE EQUAL he was being which told me it was not for HVM reasons but just to make his ego get off to my compliments and/or hyping his sex skills. Even the potentially HVM will sometimes do this too. UGH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 02:53 PM |
| 4 | Highlight is 20/20, but once you commit to FDS you have the tools, support, and information you need to learn better to do better. You walk away at the first hint of disrespect and/or entitlement now. But, you'll never forget the pain of learning firsthand how entitled men are. Remain observant...Men love thinking they are the prize now and the more others feed into it, the more we suffer unless we bluntly point them out to shame their incompetence and even if they do temporarily improve upon an initial LVM shaming that provides them 1 millisecond of self-awareness to realize he could potentially be a loser or not as cool as he thinks he is but then his ego/denial tells him that can't even be possible to think so he won't change for real and if he changes for like a min, it's typicalyl f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 02:50 PM |
| 1 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!They can't resist the urge to get their ego stroked if they are that delusional lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!Ugh that sounds really tough, especially with so many changes and trying to make it all work in those areas in your life that are important to you. I hope you know that you are not alone in feeling this way as I am hearing a lot of people in my day-to-day life share similar challenges right now, especially with covid in full throttle, as we often search for certainty and balance during times where we are not guaranteed security to give us a sense of control. I would encourage you to be kind to y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/20 03:56 PM |
| 21 | There is nothing attractive about a man who hurts you.Romanticizing a man who actively choose to hurt you by doing XYZ during the course of your relationship gives them power over you You have the power to end that at any time. I stopped romanticizing the man who thought it was appropriate to take some hardcore drugs THE NIGHT before I was presenting at a national conference with colleagues because I FELT (and KNEW deep down) it was to sabotage my professional career because he was jealous of me. It didn't matter that he told jokes, held the door o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 09:01 PM |
| 3 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!Moving during covid was a challenge at first because we went from casual dates (like 2-3 times a week dates at like 2-3 hours MAX each time for at least 1.5 months) to basically living together but not. I think if you are willing to cohabitate for whatever reason before marriage (I did cohabitation with ex-fiance and personally would NEVER do a live-in BF again UNLESS there was a literal pandemic and/or engagement TBH which is why I actually caved with covid because I have close family that is i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 08:42 PM |
| 29 | Dude, just say that you hate women and move on.Wow, what a winner! A middle age man that recreational uses drugs and alcohol to justify how much of a shitty man he plans on being towards you if you have low enough self-esteem to entertain this misfortune loser and allow his diseased mouth area droll over your profile picture in his minimally furnished post-divorce bachelor pad and/or recent studio apartment he finally purchased because he is finally getting shamed by his immediate family for being a Forever LVM Bachelor. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 08:11 PM |
| 17 | Needy men.Do not engage with needy men. They know what they are doing and are entitled to having women entertain their needy fuckery and manipulation ploys using tHeIr fEeLiNgS tO gEt SeCkS fRoM wOmEn bY "TaLkInG" tO tHeM. If they send you a "Hey" text, you do not have to give him a response. He is a literal stranger you are just getting to know over text and possible a few face to face meetings (dates) if he actually takes action. Even then, you don't owe them shit. You are not his therapist. You are not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 08:05 PM |
| 9 | What do you girls do when you're feeling insecure?Things that work for me: Talk to myself as I would my own BFF. Chances are, I am a lot meaner to myself than I would EVER be to another person. Is this really a moment where I am feeling insecure about something or is this a trigger that is making me feel shame for something that is unrelated to feeling out of my element? If so, what is it? Then dive deeper to self-reflect. Chances are, it's more likely a trigger of feeling inadequate from a past experience that HAS NOTHING to do with the here a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 08:02 PM |
| 37 | So... if a man slept with a prostitute he will do it again if he cheats he will do it again.... wellInstead of worrying about a hypothetical man you haven't even met yet, instead of going down that rabbit hole of "what ifs", I would encourage you to focus on YOURSELF and fostering a strong sense of self-love and boundaries in your day-to-day life. At the end of the day, you will never know what the future holds for yourself. So, to make yourself more resilient to heartbreak and over-investing in the dating game since the world socializes us to let men walk all over us for maximum benefit, use … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 07:57 PM |
| 6 | You don't need ANYONE but yourself. You deserve the same love you give freely to everyone else and NEVER STOP putting yourself #1. You are not Brenda-The-Builder and the men you allow access to your presence need to bring value to your world for it to be worth it at all! Do not accept BS from men!No it's all good! I am just disappointed she did that because I had a previous fondness of her but this just changed that REAL quick! I am like mourning but it's 2020 so this was not a huge loss at this point lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 07:34 PM |
| 5 | You don't need ANYONE but yourself. You deserve the same love you give freely to everyone else and NEVER STOP putting yourself #1. You are not Brenda-The-Builder and the men you allow access to your presence need to bring value to your world for it to be worth it at all! Do not accept BS from men!For sure! Keep that same kinda energy like, | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 06:23 PM |
| 12 | You don't need ANYONE but yourself. You deserve the same love you give freely to everyone else and NEVER STOP putting yourself #1. You are not Brenda-The-Builder and the men you allow access to your presence need to bring value to your world for it to be worth it at all! Do not accept BS from men!TBH I thought it wasn't but liked the sentiment of the whole "men are not our projects" because that's so TRUE and our society still expects women to be men's saviors so I liked that part | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 04:50 PM |
| 6 | You don't need ANYONE but yourself. You deserve the same love you give freely to everyone else and NEVER STOP putting yourself #1. You are not Brenda-The-Builder and the men you allow access to your presence need to bring value to your world for it to be worth it at all! Do not accept BS from men!That's disappointing to hear! I just liked the sentiment (quote?) and TBH idk if she even really used that quote or if it's someone else, but the notion of "women are not there to fix men" resonated with me like, But that's just gross of Julia! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 04:49 PM |
| 3 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!TBH I am very happy to abstain from sex until the 3+ month mark so far It has made me less vulnerable to post-sex hormones and other things that could hinder my judgement and observations when vetting a potentially HVM... Our sex life has greatly improved and so far the relationship is smooth sailing! The potentially HVM I am dating now keeps mentioning how "we are building a life together" and he "knows what we have is real because we waited for months before we did anything beyond kiss" so I t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/20 01:58 PM |
| 1 | In order to love who you are as a Queen, you cannot hate or feel shame for the experiences that shaped you today. Giving yourself grace is self-love and self-respect. Today is the day you make peace with yourself and take 1 step forward. Progress not perfection. You are always enough!I know that's right!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/20 02:24 PM |
| 4 | Need help getting over LVM shitIn addition to this strategy, if you can get a therapist and talk it out openly and let the word vomit out to a confidential neutral party without having the urge to reach out to them directly, that's also helpful. Closure is a romanticized concept. Even if this LVM magically appeared to give you the closure you desire to seek from him, it would not change how they treated you and how they are acting now. They know what they are doing makes you uncomfortable among your friend group and as tempti… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 11:03 PM |
| 4 | In order to love who you are as a Queen, you cannot hate or feel shame for the experiences that shaped you today. Giving yourself grace is self-love and self-respect. Today is the day you make peace with yourself and take 1 step forward. Progress not perfection. You are always enough!You did what was best for you in that moment and that's always enough. You are taking action to get the process started and that takes courage in itself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 09:29 PM |
| 6 | I explained to my mom about FDS, being a HVW and what a HVM is. I am witnessing her upgrade in appearance, demeanor and now she's rising up. I'm so proud of her and I'm shocked how evident her transformation really is.This is so wholesome, the way you two support each other is beautiful!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 09:25 PM |
| 10 | In order to love who you are as a Queen, you cannot hate or feel shame for the experiences that shaped you today. Giving yourself grace is self-love and self-respect. Today is the day you make peace with yourself and take 1 step forward. Progress not perfection. You are always enough!I am proud of you for making that appointment. Finding a therapist can be challenging and it's always a vulnerable awkward feeling when you start a new therapist, but please know it's a process and it's OKAY to take the time you need to find a therapist that you feel comfortable opening up to because you deserve that, okay??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 08:41 PM |
| 30 | In order to love who you are as a Queen, you cannot hate or feel shame for the experiences that shaped you today. Giving yourself grace is self-love and self-respect. Today is the day you make peace with yourself and take 1 step forward. Progress not perfection. You are always enough!Congratulations on overcoming so many challenges with grace and an open heart that is ready to live their fullest, vibrant life! It is inspirational to hear one's journey from the other side of a low place and growing from their healing. :) So happy to have your guidance and advice Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 05:54 PM |
| 18 | In order to love who you are as a Queen, you cannot hate or feel shame for the experiences that shaped you today. Giving yourself grace is self-love and self-respect. Today is the day you make peace with yourself and take 1 step forward. Progress not perfection. You are always enough!That's so beautiful, that credit is all you Queen! You did that all on your own by being resourceful, resilient, reflective, accountable, and are becoming your truest form today because of all those life lessons. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 05:50 PM |
| 21 | In order to love who you are as a Queen, you cannot hate or feel shame for the experiences that shaped you today. Giving yourself grace is self-love and self-respect. Today is the day you make peace with yourself and take 1 step forward. Progress not perfection. You are always enough!They don't get the credit, the credit goes to us for being accountable and growing <3 That credit is ours. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 05:04 PM |
| 13 | Of course, LVM say how valuable she is.. I think that's so pathetic of her, are women expected to be 50/50 buddies when a man gains 100% of it??7 year itch amirite | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 04:27 PM |
| 61 | You should not make effort to change a man.One of my BFF's has 2 older sisters and they always said, "The person you begin dating is the person they will be for the rest of your life. Assume they will never change or grow. Is that enough for you?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 04:27 PM |
| 66 | Why are guys so obsessed with pictures?In addition to pic requests for them to sexual you, sometimes LVM will ask for pics because they want to neg you by being like, "I want to make sure you are real because you seem too good to be true" and ThEy mAy gEt cAtFiShEd bEcAuSe yOu mAy LoOk a LitTle DiFfErEnT tHaN tHe pIcS yOu pUt oN tHeRe | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 04:25 PM |
| 14 | FDS Has Been TRULY a Lifesaver For MeYou're going to take on the world now, okay?!?!? Do whatever you need to take care of you until that post-breakup fog starts to clear out and embrace those new positive vibrations that will manifest in your life! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 04:23 PM |
| 2 | When you become aware of FDS and have to make small talk with men at the party since becoming an enlightened Queen like,Love that!!! Small talk is the bane of my introverted existence but my industry's social graces require it for my profession lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 04:10 PM |
| 84 | Why is this being considered humorous and not highly abusive, disgusting behaviour?Pickmes think "joking" about the "disrespect" by playing it off as "loving & humorous" rather than a lazy low effort man will get them to change. But I guess it's more about having the title of a boyfriend than the actual boyfriend because it just sounds like dead weight at this point? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 02:52 PM |
| 63 | Of course, LVM say how valuable she is.. I think that's so pathetic of her, are women expected to be 50/50 buddies when a man gains 100% of it??She's better off using that money for their eventual divorce when the LVM feels like He CaN dO BeTtEr at the 6.5 year mark of marriage | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 02:49 PM |
| 1 | Question for women 25yo+ who dated an older man (35+) in their teens or their early 20s: how do you feel right know about this man and the relationship?I know there is no perfect world or situation. I am so sorry if anyone had to go through this and it's NEVER your fault if you had dated an older man. You didn't know what you know now <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Question for women 25yo+ who dated an older man (35+) in their teens or their early 20s: how do you feel right know about this man and the relationship?I work with young adults and I am almost a full 10+ years older than them now as a young professional myself. I don't know how LVM/NVM can "justify" the "maturity" of young adult women 18-21. It's the lack of life and foundational experiences that make it a huge power imbalance and unethical. I don't know how they can "pretend" to "not know" because it's very evident to me when a person is significantly younger than me after talking to them a little. Even if I have a "baby face", petite, and "dr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 01:57 PM |
| 3 | PSA ReminderWhen you call out men for being butt hurt that we are openly discussing their depraved entitlement among ourselves so we are better informed of the red flags quicker, they are more offended that we are sharing our mistreatment as a collective group than stopping the mistreatment among their peers | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/20 08:59 PM |
| 35 | When a LVM tries to drop this hot line to reel you in thinking you are a pickme, but you decide to play stupid to give him a taste of his own medicine before you block & delete for good as an enlightened QueenI stole this as well, the OG OP was genius hahah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/20 08:56 PM |
| 3 | Try not to take low value behaviour personally. They’ve treated women badly before you and it’s very likely they will treat women badly after you. THEY are the problem.Although it sucks to make that effort and have it not be reciprocated on her end, in due time they will realize you were giving them adequate warning and due diligence. You did your part and that's enough. Manipulators are always so convincing at first... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 01:46 PM |
| 2 | Feeling frisky? Get laid by yourself Queen! A thread on some sex toys that will rock your world, teach you about your body, and give you the confidence (and strength) to abstain from the abundance of low value dick options that will use their eloquent words and tricks to try to access your body.Is that the one that syncs to your Ipod or music device with vibrations or is that another bullet vibe? I heard of one the other day and forgot the name | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 01:43 PM |
| 6 | Feeling frisky? Get laid by yourself Queen! A thread on some sex toys that will rock your world, teach you about your body, and give you the confidence (and strength) to abstain from the abundance of low value dick options that will use their eloquent words and tricks to try to access your body.TBH once I started doing that before every new date, it was so much easier to abstain from sex and not allow the LVM fuckery to swindle me lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 01:42 PM |
| 5 | If we share pictures of men saying things we expect from men for us to consider dating them, will you finally hear the message? If you are unable to consistently do this on your own, you are in no place to date another person as it's not a woman's job to take care of your own shit.Guess they'll starve then or need to order takeout while we make ourselves dinner solo! Or just save the hassle and get rid of the man lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/09/20 01:41 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020I assume all men are LVM/NVM for the first 3 months until they have the potential to be potentially HVM, but even then you are never 100% sure. With that in mind, if I am thinking like a LVM, trying to neg by doing a "maybe drink" to try to make you feel insecure is kind of a flag to me. You are not an inconvenience if he wants to prioritize you and would just let you know when he was coming and if you were available to meet up. Not a "maybe grab a drink" bs to string you along and stroke his eg… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 08:42 PM |
| 11 | Feeling frisky? Get laid by yourself Queen! A thread on some sex toys that will rock your world, teach you about your body, and give you the confidence (and strength) to abstain from the abundance of low value dick options that will use their eloquent words and tricks to try to access your body.My experience has been that I will start with oral with my partner then when I get close or want to go for round 2, I switch it to one of my toys. I only notice a difference if I was using the toys for a reallly long session solo and kept onward for awhile by going a few times back to back. If there's a break (like 3-5 hours after) in between sessions, there's no sensitivity adjustments usually or if so, very minimal where you could easily resume | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 07:26 PM |
| 19 | Feeling frisky? Get laid by yourself Queen! A thread on some sex toys that will rock your world, teach you about your body, and give you the confidence (and strength) to abstain from the abundance of low value dick options that will use their eloquent words and tricks to try to access your body.The Satisfyer 2 is realllly discrete. It's extremely quiet. The sound of tv or music would make it extremely invisible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 07:23 PM |
| 84 | How I feel about this subLove this so much! I wish the internet wasn't filled with hateful depraved scrotes because I'd love to get coffee with any of you beautiful souls here! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 05:29 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020This is often easier said than done, but try to not personalize going your separate ways with old friends, especially ones you were starting to outgrow. The loneliness can feel isolating, but it's a FEELING and not a concrete state of mind. Feelings come and go as we grow. It's okay to feel jealous and desire intimate friendships with people who REALLY know you for who you are as a person as that's a normal human desire and there's not shame in admitting or desiring that for yourself. It will ha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 05:02 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020My strategy was when we would match on an OLD platform and they would introduce themselves then ask that awkward "what are you looking for" question, I would say "I use OLD as a means to set up a face to face date to assess compatibility and connection to get to know each other better." If they set up a date within the week, I would occasionally respond to their texts if I felt like it (usually it was a no but I would answer some details like type of food I liked, etc. so they had ideas for date… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 04:51 PM |
| 37 | Try not to take low value behaviour personally. They’ve treated women badly before you and it’s very likely they will treat women badly after you. THEY are the problem.And many times, the LVM will initially treat the next pickme or woman VERY well to make it a point and try to manipulate you into internalizing their abuse to gaslight you into thinking "you deserved it" by seeking validation and accolades for their "reformed" behavior. But it's a show and it's to further hurt you emotionally because they no longer have control over you so they want to control the narrative. The mask will come off at one point, it's just going to take some time for the other wom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 03:41 PM |
| 3 | We each have the power to flip the script by confronting and challenging internalized covert sexism that perpetuates our day-to-day lives in our inner circles, our workplace, our communities, our schools, our social circles, and our interactions with new people. Unite in tearing down rape culture!Men need to learn that it's super manly and attractive to HVW when they ask for explicit consent. It's the same as brushing your teeth daily. It's a thing you do because it's healthy and confident, high value people are accountable with their actions and sense of personal integrity. We also need to normalize that it's actually SUPER ROMANTIC when a partner explicitly asks things like, "You look beautiful and I had a really good time. Am I able to give you a kiss goodbye?" Only 2 times in my life… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 03:28 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020That's some TRUE QUEEN SHIT right there...I love it all! But the house is an amazing thing and even better knowing you did it all on your own! How empowering!!!!! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 01:48 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020I am so sorry you had to go through those experiences. I want to affirm that it can feel really challenging and complex to make sense of traumatic things we can endure during our life...it's okay to process it later on as many survivors do not recognize the assault until years afterwards. Please be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do. Sending you love and hugs from afar <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 01:47 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020That sounds like a hard place to be in right now and I am so sorry you have to endure all his fuckery while trying to hold it all together for the sake of your little ones. If you are in the USA, some states have a legal helpline that will connect you to the law area and/or affordable reputable lawyers. The United Way 211 hotline may be a nice starting point to see if there's a state funded legal aid center. There are domestic violence shelters that also have legal assistance and/or a law team i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 09:38 PM |
| 24 | From a thread where a man said that they need explicit instructions for them to do something for their SOs. Imagine being the wife of this man, how sad is this :(The fact that we both are cringing over this means we have changed as people and that's always something to be proud of Queen!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 09:19 PM |
| 22 | Any ladies here have anxiety issues? How can I best deal with the anxious thoughts that creep in when I REALLY start liking someone?Accessing affordable therapy can be challenging so I can empathize with feeling overwhelmed with the process because there are so many steps, an ongoing expense on a limited budget, and allocating the time to commit to the work and relationship building process that must occur for there to be a therapeutic bond to foster a safe space of trust, growth, and receiving constructive feedback with a new therapist. With this said, you are lurking this sub and you are making time for things that are imp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 08:26 PM |
| 32 | "Why do you hate men?"A person with a disability has the capacity to learn and grow with the right support. I am going to respectfully say that it's disheartening to hear one use the word "disabled" as if it's a negative thing. In our lifespan, we will either know a person with a disability, acquire some kind of disability (temporary like pregnancy or chronic like asthma or age induced like vision impairments as we age), or require some type of support to modify our daily lives due to a temporary medical, physical, i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 07:50 PM |
| 4 | Lily Allen - Not fair 👩🎤 Advice for pickme's! Just reminds me of all the sh*t we women go through when dealing with men. 😒 No more! She hits the nail on the head in this song, never ever accept less than you deserve.👸 💅OUCHIE that hurt to hear she's not fighting for the sisterhood | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 06:49 PM |
| 58 | "Why do you hate men?"Emotionally stunted deflects the oneness of responsibility and sympathizes with LVM as if they experienced significant trauma that can be fixed for them to grow and learn how to treat women better They know how to treat another human being if they wanted to treat them with respect. A majority of men have no empathy and choose to mistreat women because their values, belief systems, and ideals have them justify their behaviors when they mistreat women. They also know that since women are more empa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 06:46 PM |
| 182 | "Why do you hate men?"When a man is a single parent, they are treated like a saint and their social circle demands their next partner to over-give to his kids as a parental figure since she's born a woman ("nurturning"). Men are the ones that lobby against policy proposals that get rid of child marriage loopholes that perpetuate human trafficking across the USA. Women do not fight that issue because it shouldn't even be a thing to begin with since it's a violation on human rights. SO MANY EXAMPLES | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 06:43 PM |
| 3 | HVMs Don't Help With HouseworkThe classic "have the audacity to suggest then play it off like it's a joke so I will not be held accountable for my entitlement" ploy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 06:21 PM |
| 6 | HVMs Don't Help With HouseworkIt's so infuriating and I truly think the expect women to cater to them but I would guarantee if they ever had the audacity to leave the relationship, it would hurt them more than it would hurt the woman. LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 06:19 PM |
| 10 | HVMs Don't Help With HouseworkMy LVM father pulls this shit often like he is unable to learn new things, including housework and cooking, as he always expected my mom to do it all. Story time: My LVM and I actually got in a major argument last time I visited my parents because he started a new job. I asked about his new job and what he was doing there in his day-to-day work, then I was like, "So you are learning a lot of new skills then?" My dad was like "yes!" then bragged about all the stuff he was doing. Then I was like "… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:53 PM |
| 4 | HVMs Don't Help With HouseworkHappy cake day!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:47 PM |
| 30 | From a thread where a man said that they need explicit instructions for them to do something for their SOs. Imagine being the wife of this man, how sad is this :(Hugs <3 You know we are here when you're ready or need something! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:42 PM |
| 49 | From a thread where a man said that they need explicit instructions for them to do something for their SOs. Imagine being the wife of this man, how sad is this :(Gonna bet she has to remind her spouse to brush their teeth every night before bed and schedules his routine dentist appointments too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:41 PM |
| 29 | From a thread where a man said that they need explicit instructions for them to do something for their SOs. Imagine being the wife of this man, how sad is this :(Literally cringed because I was that pickme 1 year ago this week. If you need to send them explicit gift instructions and gift ideas, he is not the one sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:40 PM |
| 12 | Some texts from my husband. After receiving this morning's texts, I just wanted to show that there ARE men who love to build their partner up! 8 years together, and he still goes out of his way to make me feel adored. It may seem hopeless, but HVM do exist!This is so wholesome and I love it! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:37 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020This is so spot on it hurts | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:29 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Yeah you're right, thanks | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/09/20 05:26 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020TBH that's helpful for me to try out if he sends me another sad duck face with his pickme bait puppy because I am sure he will try at least 1 more time before the wedding hahaha Thank you :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 11:24 PM |
| 47 | Learned this the hard way.Knowledge is power. If this resonates with you for any reason, please give yourself grace rather than feeling shame for you know better now. You didn't know until you knew but now you'll do better because you have the tools and support to better vet who you allow in your world as an empowered Queen. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 11:18 PM |
| 8 | Gosh! No thank you, I'm intolerant this bsThey always come back, but we know better now. It's not worth our high vibration to expel energy to an cesspool of depravity that is unable to empathize or add value to our lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 11:14 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020You're right, but non-FDS people like to justify or argue that point when defending sex work. My philosophy is if they are showing their colors as a LVM, I don't need to expel additional energy trying to change their mindset or be their educator but to lessen the disrespect towards me in that moment. So in this case, if a LVM wants hookups on OLD and feels entitled to pressure women into free secks--they know where to go if they want that for themselves, but it's not okay to assume every women w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 11:12 PM |
| 20 | Gosh! No thank you, I'm intolerant this bsLETS FLIP THE SCRIP TO THIS BS MESSAGE QUEENS! Don't break up. Accept his mistreatment. Begin the cycle of abuse by beginning the relationship again at the honeymoon stage. Have him plan at least 2 "I'm sorry- Shut Up Dates" to deflect accountability for him chronically mistreating you as a carrot on a stick ploy to keep you there, hoping "it will get better" for at least another 3+ months. Work on CoMmUnIcAtIoN. This is why there are so many Queens on FDS. If you love each other and are really … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 09:13 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Happy cake day! It's a learning moment, but one you'll never forget now that you have experienced their fuckery <3 Onto the next chapter Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 09:02 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020When they would pull that fuckery I would tell them, "I feel uncomfortable that you feel entitled to my body as you are a complete stranger I just met on a date. I do not have casual sex." Then block/delete. When they try to neg or brag about how OtHeR wOmEn wIlL (aNd aLsO lEt Me RaW dOg iT wItH tHeM) I am like, "Okay, go find them then!" Then block/delete. They will try to reach out. They will try to justify or explain their actions to you. But don't engage. The silence speaks volumes and hurts… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 09:01 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Contenders 1-2 obviously are 100% trash (although I hope #1 at least will send you the $50 before you block hahaha). Contender #3 is most likely a LVM, however, I would encourage you to continue to "test out" going on dates with him and applying FDS strategies to practice as you continue to search and learn so you find out strategies that work best for you. Even seemingly HVM admit to the fact that they will deliberatly "test the waters" to see what standards and boundaries you have to test out … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 08:57 PM |
| 13 | FDS Queens 👑✨AND if you haven't found like-minded females yet or are in the process of leveling up and leaving your old life behind to become a Queen, know it's okay to be your own BFF for awhile until you find someone who is worth investing time with that will lift you up, support you on your new path, and enhance your life for the better. Anything less is not worth your time and you deserve to be selective with your friendships as our time on this Earth is limited! I just wanted to let all you new Queens k… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:59 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020DEAD right now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:52 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Going to a friend's wedding this weekend and the man I am currently dating is an essentail worker so they are unable to be my +1 with covid. NGL, I was a little bummed but realized it'll be nice to be alone for a few days. The only awkward part was there is a LVM attending that I had sex with during a post-breakup pickme rampage during one of my lowest points and since becoming a Queen, it's very obvious that he is trying to slither his way into contact with me the few weeks leading up to the we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:20 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020In addition to the sense of authority confidence in demeanor, I also recommend wearing clothing that is simple. I have some outfits that are "my style" but if I want to be perceived as older with a baby face/petite frame, I wear solid colors and rarely prints at work at all. Usually my "work outfit" on a casual day is dark grey jeans, a plain color t-shirt (black, olive, other neutral, etc.) with a contrasting dark blazer or cardigan with some heeled boots. Natural makeup, simple colors, and cla… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:11 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Keep on your path, you are doing so well staying true to you and making you #1! Well done Queen! Proud of you :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:05 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Some apps or resources that come to mind are LiveMocha webpage, Duolingo, and I am sure there are some free apps you can also check out that may have intro level stuff. Another thing that may be helpful is learning pop and childhood songs in Mandarin too. So you can practice words, phrases, conjugations, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:04 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020That's really cool! I hope you enjoy learning more about this area! And I totally get feeling more comfortable being around women in general, especially when working out or learning something new. I just found a local tattoo shop near me that is all run by women and female tattoo artists and I am SO STOKED to get a consultation from them as it's my first tattoo. Their business is all about supporting their female clientele and they are trained in trauma informed stuff. It's over an hour away but… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 06:00 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020On OLD there is an abundance of information and options presented to us at any given time. Since there are so many options, there is a notion that you "must decide" otherwise we "miss out" but the reality is, this scarcity mindset only benefits men. When we become aware of the scarcity mindset and how it's an illusion for men to hold power over us, we can become empowered to use that abundance of options in our FAVOR. If a man wants to ghost you for not giving into sex early on, they are not the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:53 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020Even if you put that disclaimer, they wouldn't hear it because a man didn't say it for you. But totally agree with the sentiment as there are plenty of legal, ethical means to access sex work for that without fostering the entitlement to pressure a complete stranger into giving another stranger access to their body. If this strategy works though, def give us a follow up! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:44 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020OH don't get me started on that!!! My NVM ex proposed to me a week before my advanced degree post-undergrad and instead of my family focusing on JUST my graduation as I explicitly asked multiple times, they all tried to guilt me into making it a COMBINED engagement AND graduation party so it took away from my moment of working FULL TIME, with 16+ hours/week for clinical hours for my area in the filed, and taking a full time course-load of graduate courses for 3+ years. Then that asswipe didn't e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:41 PM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020This hit me... If there are chosen family (groups of friends, colleagues, etc.) maybe see it as an opportunity to host a Friendsgiving or some type of celebration where you can just enjoy being YOU without a heavy emphasis on having to defend yourself from your family of origin's projection or unspoken expectations (sexism?) so you can have some enjoyable holiday time where you are able to talk about things outside of your dating life. I did a Friendsgiving one year and we played board games. No… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:37 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered September 1 2020What museum are you checking out? Have tons of fun and if social distancing allows, get some cool pics of you with some badass artwork just because! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:33 PM |
| 2 | Law Queens, Lawyers, and Policy Lovers of FDS: can you give us some guidance? A thread on best practices and protecting ourselves from LVM, NVM, and potentially HVM from exploiting us during the dating process with legal protections...ie: prenups, lease drafts, etc. Let's discuss!Thank you for your insight! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:29 PM |
| 2 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uI hope you realize that you are a Queen now and you deserve to be respected for the unique human being you are. You don't have to do or be anything to receive respect, be heard, and have value on this Earth. You already deserve that by virtue of being here <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 05:29 PM |
| 2 | In the thread in which a woman probably was raped in her sleep. This comment got awards and upvotes and I'm just so tired of being disappointed by men. This is just f*cking disgusting.It's true and if a therapist ever victims blames or justifies the mistreatment you are enduring from a partner, it's important to remind ourselves that WE OWE it to our personal well-being to try another way to find a therapist that can give us a space supportive place where we can openly share our experiences and process them. NGL, it was challenging to try again but I did find a better practitioner that was trauma informed and it made all the difference, yet I could totally see this experience… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 02:51 PM |
| 1 | Law Queens, Lawyers, and Policy Lovers of FDS: can you give us some guidance? A thread on best practices and protecting ourselves from LVM, NVM, and potentially HVM from exploiting us during the dating process with legal protections...ie: prenups, lease drafts, etc. Let's discuss!Aside from prenups, would cohabitation pre-engagement/pre-marriage be under family law or another type of lawyer? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 02:45 PM |
| 6 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uOur society gaslights survivors, it's embedded in our systems to protect men despite all evidence and research indicating it's more common than we think so they note that women need to speak out then they punish the women endlessly through victim blaming, reliving the memories over and over, then get chronically traumatized at the slight chance they may get to seek justice for surviving awful abuse | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 02:44 PM |
| 1 | Law Queens, Lawyers, and Policy Lovers of FDS: can you give us some guidance? A thread on best practices and protecting ourselves from LVM, NVM, and potentially HVM from exploiting us during the dating process with legal protections...ie: prenups, lease drafts, etc. Let's discuss!So the consensus is for prenups --> family law attorney For a pre-marital cohabitation lease--what type of law would one go to for that? Given it's pre-marriage/pre-engagement protection living with a significant other | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 02:41 PM |
| 6 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uYou did nothing wrong. He knew what he was doing was violating your humanity and he was the sick soul that decided to act in his own depraved self-interests than caring about another human being. Hugs <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 02:40 PM |
| 25 | Do some of our mothers want to see us fail romantically?They love the crabs in a bucket mentality and yearn for their bloodline to share something in common with them to "bond" as my mom pulls this shit all the time. When my NVM ex totally disregarded all of my wishes for the proposal I wanted and instead, he choose to propose to me A WEEK BEFORE I FUCKING GRADUATED with my advanced degree despite me telling him I WOULD NOT BE HAPPY with that shit and bought me a cheapass shut up engagement ring, my mom was like "It's the thought that counts," expect… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 09:10 PM |
| 3 | This sounds like a fake line, but maybe I’m jaded ...It's a line, but you are allowed to appreciate the sentiment because it feels nice to hear sometimes. Proceed with caution and don't let words from a complete stranger giving you some validation swindle your logical, observant FDS mindset either! All men are LVM unless proven otherwise. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 08:58 PM |
| 3 | Here ya go ladies...a 26 year old man who doesn’t have his drivers license yet because he’s just “bEeN tOo bUsY”... 😂He looks like his name is Kevin | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 05:37 PM |
| 23 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uIt's never our fault. It breaks my heart to hear others experienced this and we are not alone in this collective trauma. I hate 98% of men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 05:30 PM |
| 38 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uSilence is not consent. Neither is lying to your side to allow them access with a grimaced face of pain and/or tears but they will act like they "didn't know" because they don't care. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 05:29 PM |
| 4 | My daughter is 16 and hasn't started dating yet. Is the FDS handbook right for her at this age?All the posts here are great resources and I would also add some things I wished my family of origin did for me. I know they were doing the best they could as young parents, however, these are things that really spearheaded me accepting mistreatment from men: When you talk about sex, dating, and relationships DO NOT place emphasis on the importance of her virginity or first time. Yes, sex is a big deal with risks. But also SEX encompasses more than just sex....consent, healthy relationships, res… | /r/askFDS | 31/08/20 05:22 PM |
| 19 | Accommodation and Masculine EnergyIn addition to rereading the FDS Handbook and Why Men Loves Bitches, if you are following the masculine and feminine energy and/or Laws of Attraction stuff, I would HIGHLY recommend only entertaining dating and relationship coaches that are female-focused ONLY as well as have a standing reputation for their work. I see masculine energy as the "doing" energy and the feminine energy as "the being" energy. When I start noticing I want to do things or plan things or over-give in a romantic relations… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 04:30 PM |
| 2 | Am I just jealous?Hi OP, I want to be clear but kind with you. With that said, it is going to be very honest and may come across as harsh, however, it would not be helpful or kind for me to lie to another person to make themselves feel better: So here are the concerns and observations I am making based on the information you presented in this post as an outsider looking in... Your "closer friend R" is not really your friend. You had a previous romantic relationship with him which means there is a past sexual and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 04:18 PM |
| 56 | Totally insincere. Replace "irresponsible" for CrueltyBut if the situation was reversed, you know they would demonize the woman for even thinking those thoughts for 1/8 of a second! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 04:01 PM |
| 93 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uBeen there and it's still wrong for them to think that's okay. When the sparkle in our eyes go away when they pound their d into our bodies like it's a dumpster, they know what they are doing is disgusting, dehumanizing, and assault. They just don't care. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 03:10 PM |
| 55 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uBuT i dIdNt kNoW sHe wAs 17 sHe tOlD mE sHe wAs 18 aNd wAS mAtUrE fOr hEr aGe pLuS mEn aRe a FeW yEaRs bEhInD wOmEn iN mAtUrItY eMoTiOnAlLy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 03:08 PM |
| 27 | The reason y'all believe women lie about rape is bc y'all have "unclear" sexual situations and don't want to be labeled as a rapist. Like when that girl who said no 20 times finally said yes. U don't want 2 accept u r complicit w/ rape so u make it seem like women are lying so u feel better about uTwitter credit goes to: @ sogodly_ Their OG Tweet was v powerful! <3 I used their Tweet as the tagline because it needs to be stated until the lurkers finally learn what consent is...Thank you Queen! (Word count was almost out for post) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 02:21 PM |
| 1 | I don’t own a TV or a couch. Would women find this weird / a turn off?If you are using your laptop as a streaming TV type of thing in your living space, an aux cord that can connect to a used TV screen may help to view shows. There are used TVs that connect to HTMI so you could stream from your laptop onto a bigger TV monitor to "watch" Youtube and other items. If you have a subscription to a streaming service (or can share or split a subscription if you watch things often) or are able to purchase movies online from your laptop from Amazon or another source, that … | /r/askFDS | 31/08/20 01:48 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!My approach would be to set boundaries within your personal relationship with your friend and love her at a distance by loving yourself #1. Until she is ready to accept that what you are saying is coming from a caring, supportive place and she starts to identify that what she is experiencing is toxic as well as other women that are having success with high standards, she will start to get resentful within her romantic relationship and she will be comfortable to reach out to you for guidance. But… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/08/20 01:56 AM |
| 30 | Well I'm alone and bored on my birthday because of a LVM. Any suggestions of how to make myself feel better?HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN! Read the Handbook and dump his ass. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER knowing there are a bunch of other fish in the sea who would LOVE to put effort into making you feel special once in awhile! Make some wish-list items and do something FOR YOU! Depending on finances and location, get creative and know it doesn't have to ALL be money related things. Here are some ideas.... Schedule a mani/pedi, facial, and/or a massage at a spa! Pick a day to book a glam photo-shoot where you g… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 05:37 PM |
| 1 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!You are not coming off as cold by not texting back. Your brain is telling you that because we are socialized and expected to cater and give men benefits to our being as women. But you don't owe them any type of explanation to living your life and truth. You are who you are and that's always enough! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 05:18 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!When we start to make changes in our lives, we leave the past behind us along with the people who knew us before we decided to grow. It can feel isolating at times, and the adage "it's lonely at the top" rings true. Don't let temporary loneliness have you decide you are not enough for your future and your leveling up journey by reaching out to people who did not serve you well. Friendships evolve over the lifespan and the true friends will continue to grow with you in the direction you envision … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 05:17 PM |
| 6 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!I saw this right now and I want to first ask, how are you holding up now? It takes a lot of courage to take that first step to end a toxic long term relationship with a NVM. This is a ploy to real you back in and you know this is just to get a reaction out of you to still hold power over your within your relationship dynamic. He is feeding off the power of your feelings, your discomfort, and is enjoying confusing or deflecting his actions to make it seem like you are the "unreasonable one". A ga… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 05:10 PM |
| 4 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!You don't owe any men anything because of your gender. Keep on shining as you do and don't feel obligated to cater to their low effort. You are EARNING your degree so you have the same expectations they will do the same. It's not a hard concept for them to understand if they are So SmArT! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 05:08 PM |
| 1 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!UGH that sounds like a tough week. The work stress and having to be the only one that is doing most of the work just feels like an extended class group project where you are the one doing all the work so I can only imagine the frustration! The LVM is an inconsiderate asswipe so I applaud you for dumping him. I know it can feel personal when they make their true colors and character clear, but I hope you know it's a sign from the universe that he would bring you down if you continued to allow a p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 05:06 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!What a turd!!! I swear they are able to pick up on our unconscious energy and always magically reach out when we are having either a great moment by having them inflate with "kind words" which then enrages us with their "being civil kind ex manipulation fuckery" or when we are struggling, they JUST KNOW IT and decide they want to "be a good guy" thinking we magically forgot about all the pain/damage then ensued in our lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 04:52 PM |
| 8 | Pickmes be like, "If I just say the cost of the engagement ring does not matter and confirm that I have no standards, the LVM will finally feel compelled to propose to me" as if that's how it actually works. Subtly lying 2 yourself about accepting bare minimum as "love" won't make him love u harder!I am a HUGE fan of the love and relationship expert Sami Wunder (known as the "Get the Ring Coach" on the media) as one of her dating strategies is nonsexual rotational dating with many men and if possible, holding off with intimacy (anything beyond a kiss) until 3+ months in but she STRONGLY encourages no sexual acts until engagement. She's an icon! And it works! I am part of her social media group and see proposals all the time. Most of her items follow FDS principals except she takes the "lov… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 04:49 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!That's some real talk right there and I felt that! <3 Glad you are here and sharing your insight. New management is an empowering new chapter for sure and you should be proud of that mindset shift! You will attract many new blessings and opportunities from this new self-awareness. I am still working on my healing journey and know I am getting closer to where I deserve to be with all the experiences I had, but I need to also forgive myself. Giving myself grace has given me the confidence and self… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 04:47 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!Ouch that's frustrating! I know even if you have a rotation, it can still FEEL very personalized when a man decides they don't want to put effort and peruse things further because we often focus inward within ourselves rather than feeling a sense of gratitude that these red flags were made clear early on so you do not over-invest in a singular person that may not be HV. With this said, with the RIGHT MAN you will not feel confused, overwhelmed with their delusional expectations, or shitty. He is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 04:44 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!I felt that in my bones. I am approaching the early 30's phase and although I have some beautiful long standing female friendships--I am learning most still have some pickme tendencies that make it challenging. Outside of that they all are amazing, strong, empowered women in their careers, personal lives (sans men with a select few that have potentially do have a HVM but usually those are the ones that had FDS Women figures that were positive to role model this to them), and constantly are level… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 04:32 PM |
| 6 | Pickmes be like, "If I just say the cost of the engagement ring does not matter and confirm that I have no standards, the LVM will finally feel compelled to propose to me" as if that's how it actually works. Subtly lying 2 yourself about accepting bare minimum as "love" won't make him love u harder!If they say "it's the thought that counts", be like "so you agree--he didn't put any thought, consideration, and effort into taking the time to propose to me in a way I deserve?" LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 04:26 PM |
| 12 | Pickmes be like, "If I just say the cost of the engagement ring does not matter and confirm that I have no standards, the LVM will finally feel compelled to propose to me" as if that's how it actually works. Subtly lying 2 yourself about accepting bare minimum as "love" won't make him love u harder!You got this, we are here for you Queen! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 12:20 AM |
| 9 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!YAS that's so right! That's amazing you have a team of like-minded women in your corner as you level up and go onto greater things! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 11:52 PM |
| 14 | Pickmes be like, "If I just say the cost of the engagement ring does not matter and confirm that I have no standards, the LVM will finally feel compelled to propose to me" as if that's how it actually works. Subtly lying 2 yourself about accepting bare minimum as "love" won't make him love u harder!Obviously you need to do what is best for you and I have been through the Placeholder Forever Fiance Shut Up Engagement rodeo before so I have been in your place and I total empathize with how it feels to see a person who claims they love you yet completely CHOOSE to not really hear you and cheat you of a proposal you deserve. I will say that after the engagement, it will get worse. The resentment with the ring will brew. I think you know what you should do, but it's a matter of getting the cour… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 11:34 PM |
| 15 | Anyone else having a WEEK right now? Need to vent or get something off your chest? Feeling tempted to text or go back to old toxic patterns because you are feeling isolated? Need a "big sister" pep talk for any damn reason? A thread for affirmation, support, virtual love, and healing for any Queen!First, I would encourage you to continue to rotational date, lurk dating apps, and strike up conversations with other male suitors. The reason being is that you are not exclusively dating, you are worth keeping your options open, and this way it prevents you for over-focusing, over-analyzing, going out of your way to craft the perfect response or approach moving forward.... because that will give some anxious pickme energy. So see if men on OLD profiles are interested and want to strike a conver… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 11:05 PM |
| 2 | I think I’m just too boringAre you trying to become interesting to increase your dating pool for male validation or are you trying to become more interesting because you feel there are areas of the world you should focus on and put your energy into doing? Is it facing rejection from him that is making you question your true being and your worth? Or do you feel like you have been feeling this way for awhile and this confirms that moment of self-awareness? Your feelings are your feelings, but I would encourage you to discer… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 10:52 PM |
| 33 | Bahaha! Too good not to share!Men complaining on how they struggle to breathe by wearing a mask clearly are the same men who don't go down on women so I am glad they are finally outing themselves hahah Men who decides to place a singular order for 1 McDonald's large fry no salt during a long dinner drive through line are the same men who will buy you a generic shut up engagement ring so they buy themselves at least 1.5 years of 50/50 rent savings and support with leveling up in their life followed by no wedding. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 10:48 PM |
| 12 | BF of 7 months thinks OP, a mother of a disabled child, should put him in her will.Hoping she gets into pickme recovery soon after having sense to dump the serial killer leech Idk how she didn't just dump him when he tried implying her DAUGHTER was not "useful" because he was CLEARLY projecting since he's completely useless and delusional. His insane 401K financial retirement plan was to do the following: luring a vulnerable pickme mom that has a child with Down's Syndrome to date him, triangulate her own relationship with her child to force her to "pick" between him and her o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Need help with a situation I am in.Feel free to DM me! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 09:10 PM |
| 4 | Tbh the only people online I want to meet in real life, are you ladies.It sounds so lovely and I wish we didn't have to think of all the safety precautions in such a detailed, logistical manner because there are male lurkers that would rather spend hours blaming us for choosing to be a chronic loser than using that energy to work on improving their own fucking lives. In addition to at least 1 body guard, another body guard to escort groups of women to their parking lots and/or public transport so there are no crazy lurking/stalking men that will try to attack once … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 08:21 PM |
| 55 | Annoying Male FriendFirst, I will preface this noting that I am trying to respond from a place of love and empathy as it can be hard to accept that there are people that will intentionally manipulate personal relationships for their own benefit, so what I will be saying may SEEM initially harsh but I want you to know that I am saying these things because I am an outsider looking in and I can see a bunch of red flags you should be aware of: 1) He is not your friend. He was never your friend. If he was your friend, h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 07:22 PM |
| 6 | Today I had a breakthroughWishing you all the best as you navigate this new chapter, sending you love and light Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/08/20 01:14 AM |
| 17 | I think this is relevant for a lot of things guys do. Don't be fooled by guys who pretend to be something they're not. Just because they give the impression that they're one thing, don't automatically believe it.Michelle Obama is a total Queen icon. I know she has spoken openly about never wanting to be in politics in the future after they left the White House, but damn she would be such an amazing first female president in US history. It'll never happen but she just has a way of communicating values without explicitly getting political to get a clear, concise unified message out to the masses and that's really what I feel I need in this moment from leadership after covid and all the mistrust most peopl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 11:06 PM |
| 1 | I don’t own a TV or a couch. Would women find this weird / a turn off?The no TV thing is okay....with laptops, TVs are not always necessary as long as you have some type of entertainment or things to do while you are a guest visiting your place. Like games, books, cards, etc. Do you have chairs (outside of a dining chair that is harder) to sit on aside from the couch you can utilize in your living space? I think the couch could possibly NOT be a huge deal if you had other comfortable chairs that you could relax aside from wooden/plastic dining chairs. Like a recyc… | /r/askFDS | 26/08/20 09:58 PM |
| 12 | Do you think LVM/NVM can really change and become HVM some day? If so, should we give these men a chance?LVM know what they are doing and although one can strive to become a HVM, they will NEVER be a HVM for the reason that actively choose to act upon their entitlement and fucked up values system by believing they deserved your full time, energy, love, and other gifts you brought to the relationship without having to lift a single finger on his end. He feels by virtue of him being born a man, he is entitled to having you (almost like property because his brain is really that small and depraved) for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 09:38 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020Unpopular opinion: My stance on attraction has changed and I will preface this by stating there is a GENERAL baseline expectation that men should have before any woman should EVEN consider entertaining them into our world. To me that includes: prioritizing their mental/physical health (not morbidly obese and preferably NOT overweight TBH), being an adult with hygiene (brush teeth 2X a day, clipped/cleaned fingernails, shower at least 1X a day, groomed hair, eyebrows, face, basic skincare routine… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 05:43 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020Read the FDS handbook first because that's the golden key on guidance, but my interpretation is this: If he wanted to be your friend, he would have just been your friend. Instead, he feels entitled to have sex with you and get all the benefits from a romantic relationship from you until his DrEaMgIrL magically appears and then will not longer be your friend unless he thinks he can exploit you for sex when he decides he wants to. I don't see how this type of relationship would benefit a woman and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 05:19 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 202010000000% This. Therapy for the last 3 years has greatly enhanced my life and she has given me some practical tools to help me communicate (without diving too deep to put myself at risk) my sexual needs to my partner without "outing" my trauma or giving them details that could put me at risk later on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 05:05 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020I had a very similar experience after a toxic NVM ex breakup saga for the last year. I promise you that once you have time to heal, process, and work on leveling up--you will develop calluses on your "old foundational self" and increase your capacity for self-love, boundaries, and appreciate your inherent value/worth for the better. Over time, this self-foundation will expand and grow to make you stronger. You will be able to better identify things that do not serve you well and be able to stop … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 04:54 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020"High maintenance" is code for "I will neg you to try to gaslight you into accepting my low effort fuckery until you realize that you can do a million times better than me" He is trying to make it seem like it's a "difficult" trait to have you feel shame, but there's nothing wrong with having standards or expectations. Anyone who tries to stop you seeing your own worth is potentially toxic because they KNOW what you bring to the table, but instead of choosing to grow--they would rather MISTREAT … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 04:50 PM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020Thank you for all that you are doing in support of all types of humans during a challenging time in this world. <3 I am in human services/education and I am so appreciative for all the medical professionals that REALLY GIVE A SHIT because it shows. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 04:48 PM |
| 22 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered August 20 2020It's up to you and your own comfort level, but I feel giving them any type of attention is ammo for their fuckery because even negative attention they can spin as "us being salty" or they get ego strokes knowing we had to get the last word in before we block/delete. Silence speaks volumes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 04:47 PM |
| 47 | Imagine....Being selective is NEVER a bad thing so we need to end that stigma for the next generation. It's OKAY and REASONABLE to be selective with things!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 03:08 PM |
| 113 | Imagine....They will always find fault in what we do to deflect accountability for chronically mistreating women for their own benefit | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 03:06 PM |
| 107 | In the thread in which a woman probably was raped in her sleep. This comment got awards and upvotes and I'm just so tired of being disappointed by men. This is just f*cking disgusting.Story time with TW bc sexual assault: I was temporarily prescribed Ambien for an acute medical issue that impacted my sleep for a short duration of time. My doctor warned me of potential vivid dreams and side effects so I communicated them to my NVM because I would choose to cease the meds if this was my instance.. I vividly remembering "dreaming" that I had sex with my NVM. I told him the next night my "dream" and he ADMITTED to "having sex" then cried to "play victim" because he "didn't mean t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 12:48 PM |
| 413 | Imagine....He knows better, he is CHOOSING not to do better If that's how it's going to be, you gotta love yourself first and walk away The scarcity mindset keeps LVM & NVM in power. Time to flip the script if you wanna be at the top because Queens never question their worth, they demand respect with grace and dignity <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 12:40 PM |
| 38 | Why are men like thisFirst, I hope you know his actions have NOTHING to do with you as a person and all to do about their entitled and covertly narcissistic behaviors that made the feel enraged after you chronically rejected his advances so he kept you in his "good graces" for years to manipulate a friendship with you in hopes that he would eventually get "his revenge" by imposing the same hurt you made him feel by being honest with him. Since he didn't get to assert his control over you by "having" you as his girlf… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 11:23 PM |
| 10 | Escaping NVM HellFirst, congratulations on taking this first step. It takes a lot of courage and there will be moments where you feel isolated or want to fall back into old patterns. For me, I would scroll FDS and/or seek support whenever I would have one of those moments. It's going to take time and there will be moments where you will want to seek comfort by going back to old patterns that don't serve you well out of the desire to human companionship, but I PROMISE that once you find healing and start leveling… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:15 PM |
| 6 | Escaping NVM HellSeconded the book recommendation. It really opened my eyes to the types of abusive men I would date and the tactics they use to gradually manipulate and control you over time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:10 PM |
| 4 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!Keep on your journey!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 07:53 PM |
| 27 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!The golden rule on FDS. They aren't worth your time, don't stroke their ego any further thinking it will turn trash into treasure cuz that's not how it works. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:52 PM |
| 31 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!Your friendship deserves to be cherished and life is too short for fakeass friends. Quality over quantity any day and it's lonely at the top for this VERY reason, but one you should be proud of because it means you have GROWN! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:47 PM |
| 17 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!Covid is giving them plenty of time to think about their actions amirite LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:46 PM |
| 15 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!DONE WITH THIS RODEO NOW!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:42 PM |
| 12 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!LOL I felt that in my bones too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:42 PM |
| 120 | LVM & NVM be like, "I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg In tO sEe HoW yOu WeRe DoInG bEcAuSe I aM sUcH a GoOd gUy." then get salty when you don't accept their shitty outreach attempt because hE iS TrYiNg!His name is Jason if he is over the age of 35 but sets his OLD age range from 22-32 for women lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 06:41 PM |
| 5 | How to be a HVM for long term for one woman ?I hate to make it that explicitly detailed, but you would be surprised how low the bar is set with men in general. | /r/askFDS | 22/08/20 02:25 AM |
| 15 | LVM tries is PUA game on meWow, a complete stranger thinks it's attractive and okay to tell another person how they should do things with their own body to make their chode feel tingly while creeping on your profile picture. Block and delete! BYEEEE | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 09:25 PM |
| 10 | How to be a HVM for long term for one woman ?Being a HVM means you are working on becoming your best self and putting effort into your day-to-day life consistently. That means a shower every day and general hygeine. It means you are able to live comfortably financially and do not have to go thorugh dramatic fiancial hits that are within your control due to lack of responsibility (ie: vacation "with the boys" during covid, you go all out, then are laid off and can't pay rent because you used $1k in savings to gamble and the trip cost a lot)… | /r/askFDS | 21/08/20 09:21 PM |
| 5 | I'm finally quitting my job with my disrespectful bosses. They've told me I don't know anything, I'm always messing up, make me clean their trash, wash their dishes. Talk about my personal life to customers and yell at me even when I'm doing the job right. I don't do toxic anymore.WTF, those individuals seem so delusional, fragile, entitled, and their inflated sense of perceived superiority due to their sexist, xenophobia, classist mindset. You deserve to be treated like a human being. I am sure they are unconsciously threaten by an ambitious Queen that was able to be resilient enough to immigrate, learn a 2nd language in fluently, get a degree with honors, and served our country. Instead of being decent, they are choosing to be hateful because they can't accept that they… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 09:01 PM |
| 11 | After they play victim by shedding crocodile tears for putting their pee pee somewhere else, block and delete then never look back! You are your own 1st love, never forget that!They try to use our ability to empathize as women as a manipulation ploy to deflect any type of accountability, including tears because they can't keep their big boy pants on and not stick their peen into other people when you are unable to chaperone their depravity | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 08:48 PM |
| 7 | After they play victim by shedding crocodile tears for putting their pee pee somewhere else, block and delete then never look back! You are your own 1st love, never forget that!Nothing but FACTS right there | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 08:46 PM |
| 15 | After they play victim by shedding crocodile tears for putting their pee pee somewhere else, block and delete then never look back! You are your own 1st love, never forget that!I wish I could send him some cat urine pee bottles on your behalf | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 08:46 PM |
| 35 | Shout out to all the invincible mommas out there cause the way society is set up...living life like Rihanna is looking REAL appealing lately ☕️An inspiration that demonstrates how to keep on keeping on by continuing to level up | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 06:35 PM |
| 12 | What advice have *men* given you that aligns with FDS?My NVM ex told me that "I was naive to think men can actually be my friends because at the end of the day, they are only being friends with me so they can eventually make a move on me when I am single and/or try to have sex with me." He is a POS and I remember being very HURT, OFFENDED, and AGRY he said that, but now since finding FDS--it's one thing that really resonated with me. It's the one honest thing he shared with me. I was a fool pickme that "trusted him" when he would "catch up" with th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 05:53 PM |
| 5 | Typical LVM humorMy stomach is in immense pain from hysterical laughter!!!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 05:46 PM |
| 20 | After they play victim by shedding crocodile tears for putting their pee pee somewhere else, block and delete then never look back! You are your own 1st love, never forget that!I LOVE ROSE! I am watching this season with Larissa. I WANT to root for her (love a good 360 redemption story), but it's heartbreaking to see her be unable to live her life without male validation and plastic surgery. You can tell she has experienced a lot of trauma based on how much emphasis she puts on contorting her body and physical appearance, but she really should invest some time with a therapist instead of her next man or procedure. Colt and Mother Debbie are POS. I will say, Darcy is no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 05:43 PM |
| 21 | Divorcing and I have only ever slept with my husbandDef a great point. There's a cheap vibe I got post-breakup from CVS called the PlusOne Massager (blue one) that is waterproof and IT ROCKED MY WORLD. It's under $30 and is better than many of the special high end toys my NVM ex would buy because he sucked at caring about my pleasure. The best part was, I just needed that until I was READY!!! 10/10 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 05:33 PM |
| 38 | Divorcing and I have only ever slept with my husbandI was in a long term Forever Fiance situation as a Placeholder with a NVM and we were together almost 7 years. Before then I had 2 other LTR with shitty men too. So I was relatively naive to the depraved fuckery of men and the fact that they will do/say/pretend/lie....basically do whatever it takes to gain your trust so they can then sleep with you. I had extreme fears as well initially, but until I really followed FDS to a CORE and put in the inner work to really look at things clearly without … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 05:15 PM |
| 29 | After they play victim by shedding crocodile tears for putting their pee pee somewhere else, block and delete then never look back! You are your own 1st love, never forget that!Glad you came to the other side, your kids will thank you one day for having the self-love and courage to put yourself first! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 04:43 PM |
| 2 | Stop constantly trying to prove your worth thinking it will get a LVM to change their actions. They are hoping to devalue you so you don't realize how valuable you really are. If you want to fly higher, you are going to have to give up what is weighing you down so you arrive to your chosen path. <3Awwwww that's beautiful!!! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:26 PM |
| 2 | Best friend is in a toxic relationship.Thank you, that means a lot. I wish I didn't have to learn all this information and see my friends go through this firsthand, but I had 2 friends leave abusive men by using these strategies in support of them so I thought it may be helpful. With this in mind, every abuser and situation is completely different. My last friend finally left after it escalated to a physical assault followed by a PFA and a bunch of legal documentation. As their friend, also make sure to take care of you. There are do… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 02:09 PM |
| 32 | PSA: When exes reach out over two years later, it’s not because they truly care about you.What a giant POS. Keep killing the game with your SILENCE!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 01:17 AM |
| 7 | Beware of the pandemic relationshipSaved. An important reminder, especially given the pandemic. I needed this accountability. Thank you <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 01:14 AM |
| 9 | Stop constantly trying to prove your worth thinking it will get a LVM to change their actions. They are hoping to devalue you so you don't realize how valuable you really are. If you want to fly higher, you are going to have to give up what is weighing you down so you arrive to your chosen path. <3We don't, but sometimes there will be moments you feel things or are tempted to fall, especially in the beginning when you are new to this mindset or are processing the BS you had to endure. This is a reminder to keep moving towards the right path, never look back, and know one day whatever path you find will be worth all the work you and putting in right now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 01:06 AM |
| 14 | Stop constantly trying to prove your worth thinking it will get a LVM to change their actions. They are hoping to devalue you so you don't realize how valuable you really are. If you want to fly higher, you are going to have to give up what is weighing you down so you arrive to your chosen path. <3Nothing wrong with that, we don't need men! We just need to learn to love ourselves first and hold our standards high! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 01:04 AM |
| 16 | Stop constantly trying to prove your worth thinking it will get a LVM to change their actions. They are hoping to devalue you so you don't realize how valuable you really are. If you want to fly higher, you are going to have to give up what is weighing you down so you arrive to your chosen path. <3I guess the way I interpreted it was to let the relationship go, never look back, and work on yourself to find your inner happiness because living your best life is the best revenge. A LVM will reach out to try to "apologize" about their fuckery when you do level up, but you would have learned better by the time that moment happens and it won't mean a damn thing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/08/20 01:03 AM |
| 5 | Best friend is in a toxic relationship.I would encourage you to offer support, but with some boundaries and awareness that you must tread lightly because depending on the type of toxic partner--this could backfire and escalate/isolate her further. Don't directly talk about his toxic ass near her if you feel he would be the type to track her phone, put microphones, or record anything . What I did when I noticed a close friend was in a toxic situation and he sensed I was "suppressive" (me ONCE confronting her directly about his toxic b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 08:07 PM |
| 11 | He may be losing interest- how do I take back the control?Learn back and start scheduling friend dates and/or dating yourself 2-3X more than you are giving towards him. Time will tell, but don't settle for crumbs, overthink it, or beg a man to stay. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 07:24 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts?This is the reason I find lib-feminism problematic. It's a Utopian concept that does not account for all the subtle, covert sexism that exists in our communities, our inner circles, our countries, our institutional policies, and our worldview. Until all types of women around the world are given 100% equality as men and it's sustained for a duration of time so it becomes embedded in our worldview, values, and reality, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a healthy, loving, equal marriage with a man that beli… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 06:13 PM |
| 6 | Promise ring = future faking unless y’all are literal teenagersCan't confirm actual age, but the concept of a promise ring typically assumes one is a young adult because it's a juvenile thing for most people beyond 21. My guess is still under 21 but over 18 age range but I could be completely wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 06:03 PM |
| 5 | Female friendships are so important!!!! Don't let the current relationship you're in devalue them. Remember the ones who've had your back!This literally is GOALS!!! Also, projection much from the married friends? Maybe if they didn't need to ask their husbands permission or have their LVM escort them for all social gatherings, they wouldn't be so salty she's living her best life with other empowered women? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 04:10 PM |
| 19 | Am i shallow ?I am not sure your cultural context but you are not shallow at all. You are allowed to have values, standards, boundaries, and expectations to vet if a person is worth entertaining as a potential romantic partner. You have the right to decide a person is not "right" for you FOR ANY DAMN REASON because you are not a man's property. You do not owe men additional concessions or chances if you feel they are not putting effort into their appearance as it showcases they are not prioritizing their heal… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 04:06 PM |
| 10 | ‘Professional Choker’ 🤮Professional Abuser | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 03:59 PM |
| 48 | Leveling up and becoming the Queen I was meant to be like,You are so right. It's always about power and control over another human being because their values and mindset are depraved. It's never REALLY about the person experiencing the mistreatment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 03:16 PM |
| 26 | I just had to do itComputed the Clown Formula: Promise ring = shut up engagement ring if the engagement duration exceeds 1.5 years --> Forever Girlfriend and/or Placeholder < PickMe Clown | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 02:48 PM |
| 12 | Promise ring = future faking unless y’all are literal teenagersI'd rather die than be planning a fakeass wedding where I am too young to legally drink at my own damn wedding. If you are going to daydream, at least start planning where you are able to afford an open bar and don't' have to resort to all burlap decor for the DIY farm chic aesthetic because you are unable to afford a standard venue She's going to regret buying that dress because by the time she actually will get married, it's going to be out of season and she'll want something newer anyways bec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 02:07 PM |
| 8 | Finally realized my worth thanks to FDS!Each day you will be come more and more yourself again until you look at that lesson with gratitude and a grateful heart. Welcome QUEEN you are leveling up so quickly and we are so proud of you! You are going to take on the world so keep on shining like you do!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 12:48 AM |
| 2 | Gonna take a wild guess that his OLD profile includes being "chill", "no games", and some type of low effort attempt to "hang out" for a pre-screening date before the actual date because he has to verify you are "hot enough for his standards" before he deems you "worthy enough" to pay for a $10 mealI cannot take credit for these wonderful things! It's from a feminist group I am part of on FB but I want to stay anon here but if I find the OG creator of this, I will give them ample credit because they are gold!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/20 12:37 AM |
| 23 | If he tries to have sex with you, "get out of the friendzone" by pressuring you into a relationship, or is friends with you out of entitlement that you will "eventually" date him when you are in a vulnerable state, HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Be wary of "male friends" and vet them as you would any otherThe intimacy, support and validation I receive from my female friends far surpasses any type of benefit a man could ever provide me in some fakeass friendship | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 11:33 PM |
| 30 | It’s infuriating how entitled men feel to a women’s body.For every Queen, there are at least 20 scrotes on here that will do whatever it takes to stop us standing up for ourselves so they can band together to continue mistreating us and putting as little effort as they can into having consistent sex, female validation, and emotional labor from women then call us crazy when we are resentful and hold their depraved asses accountable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 11:22 PM |
| 54 | It’s infuriating how entitled men feel to a women’s body."My boyfriend is angry because I did not consent to having sex with him so he threw a temper tantrum to emotionally manipulate and demean me for not allowing him to pump in dump his selfish peen into my body against my will to shut him up and soothe is butthurt frustrated fragile ego." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 11:01 PM |
| 10 | Looking for a female mentorHey OP! I would be happy to give you feedback over a private DM message in support about questions or things you want insight about from my perspective and understanding of FDS on my own personal journey, but I would highly encourage you to be vigilant with safety here as you become immersed in the FDS community because as you grow and learn on this sub, angry incels/scrotes/neckbeards will DM you, send troll chats, and/or pretend to be women. Or they'll just randomly DM you or chat you for no d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 10:54 PM |
| 3 | Men seem to have no empathy and relate everything to themselves (or, why my abuse was My Fault™️)First, I am so sorry you had to experience such a heavy thing at such an impressionable age and learn quickly how disappointing men generally are. Be kind to yourself as you didn't know what you knew until it happened. This was an abusive older man that groomed you and selected you for your inexperience with relationships to manipulate the situation to ensure maximum control over you and there is NOTHING you did WRONG to deserve another human being to feel they are entitled to hurt you because y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 08:56 PM |
| 2 | Someone commented about OP making the ring himself because it's also cheaper and all the pick mes obviously started saying 'BUT IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS 🥺'...but the replies on the plastic one were too much for meThe engagement ring "rule" back in the day was at least 3 months rent, but now that most LVM are making $15-20 hour MAX (usually), they find anything above $2000 "breaking the bank". Had a shut up ring before and my advice is: make the ring be at equal or greater value than a security deposit and 3 months rent. Anything less is a shut up ring. A HVM knows that it's collateral and I wish I didn't permit my NVM to settle for a $1500 generic fugly ring from Kay's because when that shithead left, I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 07:58 PM |
| 3 | Gonna take a wild guess that his OLD profile includes being "chill", "no games", and some type of low effort attempt to "hang out" for a pre-screening date before the actual date because he has to verify you are "hot enough for his standards" before he deems you "worthy enough" to pay for a $10 mealNow that I know how 90 percent of men truly think and feel entitled to chronically mistreating us for maximum personal gains, most men now give me the creeps | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 07:49 PM |
| 21 | If he tries to have sex with you, "get out of the friendzone" by pressuring you into a relationship, or is friends with you out of entitlement that you will "eventually" date him when you are in a vulnerable state, HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Be wary of "male friends" and vet them as you would any otherThat is so vile and such a huge breach of trust. I am so sorry you had to experience that and it enrages me that this is the normal shared experience with "male friends" among such amazing Queens. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 07:45 PM |
| 30 | If he tries to have sex with you, "get out of the friendzone" by pressuring you into a relationship, or is friends with you out of entitlement that you will "eventually" date him when you are in a vulnerable state, HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Be wary of "male friends" and vet them as you would any otherLiteral predator vibes. You did not consent to friendship with him, made it very clear NO MEANS NO, yet he feels entitled to "change your mind" (aka try to intimated and "pressure"/force? by niceguy rhetoric) because he thinks he can manipulate the situation further as a "friend." SMH he would be the friend to whip his dick out anyway in front of a female friend because he is sad and try to gaslight or make it a grey area sexual assault anyways. You did the right thing. He is potentially dangero… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 07:43 PM |
| 3 | Gonna take a wild guess that his OLD profile includes being "chill", "no games", and some type of low effort attempt to "hang out" for a pre-screening date before the actual date because he has to verify you are "hot enough for his standards" before he deems you "worthy enough" to pay for a $10 mealIf he deletes the rejection on the internet, it means he believes it never happened since he is sUcH a CaTcH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 07:40 PM |
| 1 | Are there any FDS approved podcast?Of my my friends recommended The History Chicks podcast if you enjoy feminist history but I have not vetted to see if it's aligned with FDS to give an actual opinion on it yet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 06:41 PM |
| 14 | Another serious in r/ComMuNiCaTe. This woman rightly wants a divorce from her husbands selfish behavior, and everyone’s telling her he might have PPD from the pregnancy. They’re encouraging her to go to therapy.Can't imagine having two newborns under the age of 1 to constantly take care of | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Do you hear the PickMe's yet? 'I don't care if he doesn't get me a ring, I don't care if my proposal is shit; it's the thought that matters! Expectations make you a golddigger' 🤡Did he make her a fake engagement ring out of trash next to a line of coke on a Dollar Tree plate? Is the lurking bicycle man photoboming their engagement candid photo have a pee bottle next to him? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 06:31 PM |
| 5 | How to stay single: Scrote edition!Sounds like a real catch, we must be missing out since we are all "female incels" for not agreeing to his "reasonable" terms and conditions! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 05:54 PM |
| 11 | Gonna take a wild guess that his OLD profile includes being "chill", "no games", and some type of low effort attempt to "hang out" for a pre-screening date before the actual date because he has to verify you are "hot enough for his standards" before he deems you "worthy enough" to pay for a $10 mealHe can eat some makeup too because he is probably ugly in the inside and would neg a girl for not wearing it anyways so it shouldn't go to waste, ayyyyyeeee | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Why do men do this, it really irritates me. If you know you're not ready for a relationship or don't want one with her, then just leave her alone. Don't string a woman along just to feed your ego.UGH what a total emotionally abusive and toxic POS. I wish I could send him a box full of poop on your behalf! Thank you for sharing this. This story is a powerful reminder of why this community is so important because silence perpetuates violence towards women and emotional abuse is STILL abuse. The more we unite as a collaborative united front and call them out on the BS, the less they can get away with it over time. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 03:46 PM |
| 1 | The way to pay it forward when you have fully committed to leveling up and becoming a HVW & FDS Queen is to modeling this behavior in support of other women, believing women, speaking out when you see something wrong, and making sure women are safe if something seems off. Manifestation is powerful!At least you had the integrity and courage to speak out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 03:40 PM |
| 5 | Why do men do this, it really irritates me. If you know you're not ready for a relationship or don't want one with her, then just leave her alone. Don't string a woman along just to feed your ego.It's just a mask. If it took a few years for you to realize the fuckery, it's going to be even more detrimental to the other woman he initially hooks next time around. If they are married, even more tragic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 03:39 PM |
| 3 | The way to pay it forward when you have fully committed to leveling up and becoming a HVW & FDS Queen is to modeling this behavior in support of other women, believing women, speaking out when you see something wrong, and making sure women are safe if something seems off. Manifestation is powerful!That's a great strategy! I do the "friend hug" then whisper if she's okay when I was in nightclub settings in my early 20's when I observed potential harassment/creepy MOFOS preying on women and played it off like a drunk girl being sloppy by obnoxiously saying hi then hugging her to have him tune out our girl convo then would walk her near the bathroom to make sure she was alright. My girls and I had a code word too when we infiltrated as a group. We also did the clubbing dance block where we w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/20 03:34 PM |
| 65 | The way to pay it forward when you have fully committed to leveling up and becoming a HVW & FDS Queen is to modeling this behavior in support of other women, believing women, speaking out when you see something wrong, and making sure women are safe if something seems off. Manifestation is powerful!THANK YOU for speaking out and not allowing covert sexism to have grown adults turn a blind eye to predatory behavior. It's all to common and I appreciate your courage in being direct and advocating for young girls. You modeled courage to young girls and you did the right thing with fierce integrity. It's how the world should be, but sadly isn't the reality but things like this make me feel so empowered and hopeful. <3 We are modeling a new global movement and resistance to the next generation a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 10:42 PM |
| 3 | Can we just kill 2 birds with 1 stone? Assuming most anti-maskers are men since they are unable to empathize with the concept of individual body autonomy even before the global pandemic. Now they are frustrated being told they must wear a mask to go out in public by the government. Sounds familiar..DEAD RIGHT NOW | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 09:47 PM |
| 40 | The way to pay it forward when you have fully committed to leveling up and becoming a HVW & FDS Queen is to modeling this behavior in support of other women, believing women, speaking out when you see something wrong, and making sure women are safe if something seems off. Manifestation is powerful!Congrats on quitting Queen! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 09:30 PM |
| 5 | Breaking News: apparently LVM find it obnoxious and condescending when we try to tell them what mansplaining is since they didn't coin the term themselves. Instead, LVM refer to this phenomenon as "Devil's Advocate" when engaging in discussionHe believes his confidence is equivalent to your expertise and foundational knowledge of a specific topic then has the audacity to feel entitled to "get to know you more" by assuming you found his arrogant egotistical banter endearing, how LV of him! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 08:55 PM |
| 6 | Got a job working with my ex LVMs girl.Echoing what all the other Queens are saying by keeping things professional, cordial, and making sure this personal life item doesn't translate or adversely impact your day-to-day job and/or career. If she is a pickme that tries to stir things up in the professional realm of the workplace, get witnesses and document the behavior. Go to HR. Take the professional avenues and means to do things through the right, appropriate channels and DO NOT ENGAGE even if she tries to start shit, reach out to y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 08:34 PM |
| 309 | Why do men do this, it really irritates me. If you know you're not ready for a relationship or don't want one with her, then just leave her alone. Don't string a woman along just to feed your ego.Classic Placeholder Forever GF and/or Shut Up Ring Forever Fiance With No Wedding: A Classic LVM & NVM Move. Some of the "reasons": Can manipulate "building a life together" to deflect accountability for their manchild behavior and utilize you for free emotional labor, 50/50 Forever GF bill splitting, advice, insight, career guidance, and other gifts you innately bring to him to "build him up" since he suggests "eventually" you two will get married and/or engaged in a few years but never actuall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 08:06 PM |
| 11 | Breaking News: apparently LVM find it obnoxious and condescending when we try to tell them what mansplaining is since they didn't coin the term themselves. Instead, LVM refer to this phenomenon as "Devil's Advocate" when engaging in discussionSCREAMING RIGHT NOW | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 07:49 PM |
| 14 | Breaking News: apparently LVM find it obnoxious and condescending when we try to tell them what mansplaining is since they didn't coin the term themselves. Instead, LVM refer to this phenomenon as "Devil's Advocate" when engaging in discussionGot one more gem I am going to share this week. It's a feminist group of FB I am part of | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 07:49 PM |
| 11 | Breaking News: apparently LVM find it obnoxious and condescending when we try to tell them what mansplaining is since they didn't coin the term themselves. Instead, LVM refer to this phenomenon as "Devil's Advocate" when engaging in discussionLVM/NVM seem to think otherwise but that's not shocking given most are manipulative and toxic, possibly evil like Satan himself lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 07:25 PM |
| 11 | Breaking News: apparently LVM find it obnoxious and condescending when we try to tell them what mansplaining is since they didn't coin the term themselves. Instead, LVM refer to this phenomenon as "Devil's Advocate" when engaging in discussionMen are never really our friends in most instances because their blatent entitlement for our bodies, our attention, our gifts, our energy, and pressure to bully/guilt/manipulate us into a romantic relationship we don't have any desire having with them gets in the way. Just save yourself the headache and only trust empowered, strong Queens that strive the tear down the patriarchy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 07:23 PM |
| 7 | Can we just kill 2 birds with 1 stone? Assuming most anti-maskers are men since they are unable to empathize with the concept of individual body autonomy even before the global pandemic. Now they are frustrated being told they must wear a mask to go out in public by the government. Sounds familiar..If they are going to go full on anti-mask, they might as well take off their BS facade early on in the dating process so we can weed out the toxic clowns quicker. They already are selfish and put our lives at risk every damn day | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 07:20 PM |
| 9 | Can we just kill 2 birds with 1 stone? Assuming most anti-maskers are men since they are unable to empathize with the concept of individual body autonomy even before the global pandemic. Now they are frustrated being told they must wear a mask to go out in public by the government. Sounds familiar..Asking them to not just roll out of bed to interact with society is perceived as their rights being taken away....the bar is set THAT LOW LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 07:17 PM |
| 3 | Ignored my cheating exYou did such a brave thing and I am inspired by how strong you were in such a tough situation. WHAT A QUEEN!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 05:53 PM |
| 17 | So I'm at a crossroads - HVM becoming LVM, what next?Communication is nothing without comprehension and he is actively CHOOSING not to hear you. He is using your communication attempts when he mistreats you as a manipulative ploy to flip the narrative and dismiss your feelings. You are allowed to feel disrespected. He can still apologize and you can still feel hurt. The issue is, you are finding out that you thought he was potentially a HVM, but when push comes to shove and times get though in our world--he sees himself as superior to you. It's no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 05:52 PM |
| 17 | Pickmeisha RevelationYou got this! Happy you are here! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 05:44 PM |
| 12 | as a black woman does anyone else feel like white men treat you better than other men do?Words and being direct does not mean that they are potentially HVM. You still need to vet and observe tangible actions over time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 05:43 PM |
| 58 | Thanks to FDS I can see all the red flags in this sloppy attempt to reel me back in. They know what they’re doing & they don’t care till their access is revoked. He’ll be waiting for that reply forever.Proud of you for not engaging! Must have taken him months to craft his grubby greasy lil' sausage fingers to type you that halfass apology thinking it would lead back to pOsSiBlE sEcKs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 05:42 PM |
| 8 | Dating app match asks me to help with his work after two days of chatting. Even after I already told him I’m busy. Even after already knowing consultation is work for me and he shouldn’t be asking for free consultation. They ruin everything before even meeting.Just ironic that a man who seems to be in computer science and/or information systems doesn't understand the concept of Googling lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 05:37 PM |
| 28 | Dating app match asks me to help with his work after two days of chatting. Even after I already told him I’m busy. Even after already knowing consultation is work for me and he shouldn’t be asking for free consultation. They ruin everything before even meeting.If he wants to pay for services to help his professional career, he needs to be a big boy and learn how to use fucking GOOGLE and find a person to PAY for their SKILLED LABOR AND INSIGHT to assist him. Not some Queen he just met on OLD because it's a FUCKING DATING SITE, not a networking mentorship. The audacity! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 04:52 PM |
| 9 | THIS 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼Wise words of wisdom! Keep an open vibration and loving yourself #1, even if a potentially HVM enters the picture. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 04:49 PM |
| 51 | Male haters: To quote Regina George: Why are you so obsessed with me?They feel entitled to dominate our opinions and how we perceive them. It's a control thing for toxic, sexist, LV/NVM. Our anger, indifferent, or resistance to their entitlement makes them angrier because they deeply believe they are allowed to be given concessions from women all the time. When we resist, it's an act of defiance and they believe we should be punished for not accepting their entitlement. Even with complete strangers they just met through OLD. The trash will take itself out. Keep v… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 04:46 PM |
| 1 | My friends and I love this one: this LVM told me he didn’t believe in condoms on a first date and when I ended the date he unraveled.Challenge accepted! BYYYEEEEEEE | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 03:20 PM |
| 351 | Actual r/wholesomememesYAS WE NEED TO STOP THE GLOBAL SEXISM AND NOTION THAT WOMEN ARE OUR ENEMIES. UNITE IN SISTERHOOD! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 03:18 PM |
| 2 | Having a deadbeat father does not negate the fact that a mother may feel bitter from experiencing a LVM's incompetence, negligence, mistreatment, and disrespect for fulfilling their fatherly duties. Instead, it's easier to play victim and feed into the "toxic angry ex bitter mother trope"....TBH if any man is bitter about an ex, they probably mistreated them for years. Red flags if they make this known early on during the dating process | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 03:02 PM |
| 3 | When a former ghosting LVM you haven't talked to in 6 months finally "checks in" to see how you are doing during the pandemic and you are now on the enlightened FDS Queen journey...They like to call their doughy bods a "dad bod" because they feel entitled for a woman to accept their low effort at whatever means necessary but when a woman gains a few pounds they will post to the relationships sub about how she "let herself go". And when a child is newly born, they will also complain about how it impacts SeCkS | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:57 PM |
| 2 | Classic LVM opening lines...and another reminder that a preliminary pre-date meetup is not an actual date so don't even second guess entertaining that nonsense! If he was potentially a HVM, he knows it's 1000% more risky for us to meet up with them and doesn't require an initial screening interviewYeah you are not their long term texting pen pal! Don't engage with that low effort behavior | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:55 PM |
| 2 | Classic LVM opening lines...and another reminder that a preliminary pre-date meetup is not an actual date so don't even second guess entertaining that nonsense! If he was potentially a HVM, he knows it's 1000% more risky for us to meet up with them and doesn't require an initial screening interviewWow a pet name within the first introduction LOL He thinks using the word "bae" is enough effort for your time... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:54 PM |
| 1 | Having a deadbeat father does not negate the fact that a mother may feel bitter from experiencing a LVM's incompetence, negligence, mistreatment, and disrespect for fulfilling their fatherly duties. Instead, it's easier to play victim and feed into the "toxic angry ex bitter mother trope"....Typical NVM. They can't take accountability so they pretend their actions don't exist to protect their fragile, toxic egos with a replacement family | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/08/20 02:53 PM |
| 3 | What would you say to pre-teen you?Don't ever spend your time around people who are trying to stop you form seeing the value you bring to them, don't play yourself like that EVER. The best way to have success when you are ready to date for a long term commitment is to become comfortable and embrace being alone. Fall in love with yourself! Become a HVW by working on your career, finding passions, cultivating strong female friendships and support. Although everyone in their 20's may want to find people to date, there's not reason t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 10:01 PM |
| 87 | You know what is empowering? Abstinence, modesty and not dating. People have asked me out at my job, feels empowering to let them know I'm not interested.When I broke up with my NVM, I had a lil pickme breakdown where I impulsively hooked up with 3 LVM in a month but found it left me hollow and I got nothing out of those encounters. I was lurking FDS but I had an "AHA" moment where I realized something within me needed to change. I grew up super religious and sheltered as a kid. My NVM ex future MIL gave me a bottle of Holy Water. I wrote some affirmations and dosed myself in some Holy Water then verbally committed to the powers that be to only s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:51 PM |
| 18 | First message asking me to travel 85 miles to meet himYeah hold my cosmo, you're right sis. Thanks for holding me accountable Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:44 PM |
| 10 | So a HVM is just a decent good person. That’s what I’ve learned from reading FDS. What percentage of men are decent good people, and what percent are assholes?I appreciate you acknowledging that most men are trash. I find that men who get overly defensive when women joke around and say "All men are trash" and feel the need to argue or mansplain why we are wrong because it's NoT aLl MeN are the issue. IMO if you are a potentially HVM, you are aware of the fuckery other men will try with women so you would not get offended when we say men are trash, because you know this general statement is not applicable to you! That's the difference. I would say most… | /r/askFDS | 17/08/20 09:43 PM |
| 3 | First message asking me to travel 85 miles to meet himPls give us an update to deliberate! A great opportunity for the community to come up with some sick burns or ways to fuck with him before you cut the cord for good hahah | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:34 PM |
| 21 | First message asking me to travel 85 miles to meet himThe catch is most sex toys you can use solo are significantly better than first time sex with a LVM and men love to use the dirty 30 as an arbitrary timeline to pressure women into settling for their BS to perpetuate a scarcity mindset, but they need us more than we need them! lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:33 PM |
| 2 | Question regarding a unique situationIt's okay to experience trauma as it's part of the human condition and each of us carry difference experiences that greatly impact our day-to-day lives in different capacities from our lived trauma. The difference between a HV person experiencing trauma and a LV person experiencing trauma is the HVM will take accountability for prioritizing their mental health and general well-being. They will make the time consistently for however long it may take to get the support, resources, expert opinions,… | /r/askFDS | 17/08/20 09:30 PM |
| 64 | First message asking me to travel 85 miles to meet himHe feels entitled enough to think his presence and what he brings to table is worth hours of wear and tear on your vehicle to meet a complete stranger so he can feed you drinks in a desperate attempt to lower your inhibitions, pressure you into sex, and have you drive drunk back home? Sounds like a catch Better hurry if your close to turning 30 oThErWiSe aLl tHe gOoD oNeS wIlL bE tAkEn | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:17 PM |
| 2 | We honor our female ancestors by living a life they could have only ever dreamed of.You have a family full of Queens!!! Thanks for sharing some inspiration :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:14 PM |
| 227 | You Aren't Being Kind When You Mother HimBeing a "nice girl" = covert pickme He is who he is today, don't fall in love with potential. If you are doing things "to be nice" for a man, see if it's something you would actually do if you knew it lead to them breaking up with you later. Even if he seems trustworthy and seemingly HVM, just go off that notion because chances are that "niceness" is you HOPING by being "nice, supportive" (and mothering), he will see the effort you took out of your day and there will be reciprocity on his end. T… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 09:00 PM |
| 53 | My friends and I love this one: this LVM told me he didn’t believe in condoms on a first date and when I ended the date he unraveled."Good luck finding a girl with low self-esteem that will entertain your entitlement to have sex with a complete stranger you just met on 1 date and permit you to raw dog your diseased 3 inches of thunder!" Then block & delete! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 08:51 PM |
| 8 | My boyfriend can’t decide on a career path to follow. Do you think he will stick to this one?He is not your project to build up and do not fall into the trap of "encouraging" and/or "supporting" his career goals. It seems well intended and as women we are socialized to be very helpful and collaborative with one another, but men generally have some subconscious sexism and will gradually resent him if you attempt to fix him. And TBH, FDS is here only for you to support your growth. People change when they want to change and it's 100% on them to do this. You are not his mother. You are not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 08:47 PM |
| 22 | Never give them all the answers! He could have consulted my profile for this. Back in my pick-me days I would have given him a list lol.That's a lazy low effort initiation on his end, but a missed opportunity to make a specific demand to see if he would take the bait or an opportunity to give him a sick burn of how bland his introduction attempt was. "1 pint of chicken lo mein from China Wall, no veggies delivered to my work office by 1pm tomorrow, suite #4 of this office building [insert work office address] and ask for 3 packets of duck sauce." "A more creative introduction than that brotha!" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 08:38 PM |
| 16 | LVM says I watch too many romcoms 🤦♀️"I think you've subscribed to too much porn" Then block and deleted! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 08:33 PM |
| 19 | Devastated over narcissistic ex, months after D-day How do u move on, please share your tipsStill healing from a covert narc myself. It's okay to mourn and go through stages of grief as it's healthy to let those emotions out. What is essential is taking the time you need to process what you need to process. Here are some "practical" things that got me through the first 3 months of post-breakup fog (Disclaimer: The first 3 months of breakup was me in survival mode and it took another 3 months to REALLY dive deep with a trusted therapist to make sense of it all after I had some distance … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 08:19 PM |
| 63 | If he wanted to, he would. He knows what he’s doing. #kickhimout2020Your responsibility is to love yourself first and finding a HVM that respects, values, and cherishes you for the unique human being you are is an ADDED bonus--but NEVER a requirement Queen! If he is into you, you will see it and feel it. If he is not into you, he will leave you second guessing or confused. Wisdom is knowing the difference. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 07:58 PM |
| 31 | When a former ghosting LVM you haven't talked to in 6 months finally "checks in" to see how you are doing during the pandemic and you are now on the enlightened FDS Queen journey...That's the one that had me SCREAMING | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 07:07 PM |
| 24 | Having a deadbeat father does not negate the fact that a mother may feel bitter from experiencing a LVM's incompetence, negligence, mistreatment, and disrespect for fulfilling their fatherly duties. Instead, it's easier to play victim and feed into the "toxic angry ex bitter mother trope"....WhY dOnT mY kIdS wOrShIp mE? iT's aLl mY bItTeR eX's FaUlt! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 04:40 PM |
| 7 | Having a deadbeat father does not negate the fact that a mother may feel bitter from experiencing a LVM's incompetence, negligence, mistreatment, and disrespect for fulfilling their fatherly duties. Instead, it's easier to play victim and feed into the "toxic angry ex bitter mother trope"....Clearly if their only evidence to disprove they were a deadbeat father is the mother acting "bitter" and nothing else to back it up, all evidence suggests he is a complete delusional narcissistic deadbeat. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 04:24 PM |
| 27 | Having a deadbeat father does not negate the fact that a mother may feel bitter from experiencing a LVM's incompetence, negligence, mistreatment, and disrespect for fulfilling their fatherly duties. Instead, it's easier to play victim and feed into the "toxic angry ex bitter mother trope"....This particular scrote was the sperm donor of my NVM ex. He is in his early 60's and fathered at least 5 kids with 3 different women. NEVER paid child support for my NVM ex and their mom had to fight tooth/nail for any type of money because he would go to other countries back and forth to avoid paying out. But blaming NVM ex's mom is next level fuckery | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/20 04:22 PM |
| 5 | NVM ex used Uber to drop off my belongings (~$1,000) outside my apartment complex and they got stolen. He blocked me and refuses to give police the Uber transaction information.In the beginning of my healing journey, I used to have a similar mindset as you OP but I 100% agree with u/Phoenix__Rising2018 . He needs to learn his actions have consequences. It's okay to set boundaries and stand up for yourself when you experience mistreatment from others by advocating for yourself...that is completely okay and reasonable (as long as safety is not immediately compromised obviously). If a significant amount of goods that were stolen were not returned and it was retailed at le… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 11:35 PM |
| 6 | I have no wordsMy NVM ex used to watch depraved breastfeeding porn and didn't understand why I was appalled by it. Queens this is a HUGE DEALBREAKER only sick unhealthy men sexualize the mother of their potential/future/current child being given FOOD. WTF | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 05:26 PM |
| 3 | When it comes to love, WOMEN are the prize! Low effort men yield their power by perpetuating a scarcity mindset so the can put little effort for maximum benefits. Queens deserve men who make their interest clear through action so if you are left confused, he is not THE ONE for you! NEVER settle!!!The right men will make it clear how much you mean to them because they know this! That is such a beautiful example and I am so happy for you. He remembered the little things that make you feel special and appreciated which speaks volumes and you totally deserve ALL OF IT QUEEN! My NVM would never do anything outside of the ordinary standard gift giving and only 1 time that I shared I was feeling down did he ever write me a nice note before work. A man I just started dating exclusively after rot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 04:00 PM |
| 3 | Carrie Bradshaw, the ultimate pickme, exemplifies what NOT to do if as a FDS enlightened Queen! I couldn't help but wonder how she's a famous relationship expert columnist in NYC but then realized being mistreated by LVM is the rule and not the exception for women. Better things to do at 1:37am!Aiden seemed potentially HVM and even when the show tried to spin him as "jealous and controlling" for proposing to Carrie after he took her back (his mistake there) for cheating on him with Mr. Big. But they always tried to make his "simple lifestyle" an issue or a bad thing despite him always treating Carrie with respect and trying to support her as the LVW she was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 03:48 PM |
| 1 | Woman begs boyfriend to pee in a mason jar with a lid, empty it out, and wash it every morning instead of peeing in water glasses and leaving it sitting out all day.I literally told my best friends on a group call about the pee bottles and they were shook, but I work with young adults (typically 17-22) in a residential human service capacity so I was aware of this behavior being more common than women realize, but associated it with being a 17-20 year old young adult man thing because anything beyond that is totally embarrassing. It's a total deal breaker. The fact that I was embarrassed to share with my best friends in our early 30's this story verbally ha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/20 03:45 PM |
| 31 | Carrie Bradshaw, the ultimate pickme, exemplifies what NOT to do if as a FDS enlightened Queen! I couldn't help but wonder how she's a famous relationship expert columnist in NYC but then realized being mistreated by LVM is the rule and not the exception for women. Better things to do at 1:37am!One of the moments I really hated Carrie was her entitlement when she was about to lose her apartment because she was a desperate pickme and financially irresponsible then felt entitled to ask Charlotte for her engagement ring from her recent failed first marriage to sell so she could keep her apartment The show def didn't age well at all | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 03:50 AM |
| 20 | Carrie Bradshaw, the ultimate pickme, exemplifies what NOT to do if as a FDS enlightened Queen! I couldn't help but wonder how she's a famous relationship expert columnist in NYC but then realized being mistreated by LVM is the rule and not the exception for women. Better things to do at 1:37am!Carrie was a LVW for sure too Do have a lil' soft spot for Aiden tho on the show | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/20 03:48 AM |
| 64 | Carrie Bradshaw, the ultimate pickme, exemplifies what NOT to do if as a FDS enlightened Queen! I couldn't help but wonder how she's a famous relationship expert columnist in NYC but then realized being mistreated by LVM is the rule and not the exception for women. Better things to do at 1:37am!Idk how ANY logical human can endorse their "romance" ESPECIALLY after he publicly humiliated her and left her at the alter in movie 1 then TOOK HIM BACK and married that NVM at a fucking diner wearing a $40 thrift shop dress despite being an alleged national fashion icon because she would rather "not lose him" and chose to lose herself instead. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 11:04 PM |
| 70 | Woman begs boyfriend to pee in a mason jar with a lid, empty it out, and wash it every morning instead of peeing in water glasses and leaving it sitting out all day.When I was an unenlightened pickme prior to FDS, I had at least 2 NVM exs pee in water bottles and they each were over the age of 19 at the time. My last ex was a 30 year old adult living with me rent-free in a 1 bedroom apartment and the bathroom was less than 20 feet away from our bedroom (I actually measured it thinking that would somehow change him as a Forever Girlfriend clown when the real solution should have been to dump his ass long before this behavior started...) YET HE CONTINUED TO D… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 08:26 PM |
| 11 | Just had an email alert from the sex offenders registry. Our nice, friendly, attractive new neighbor? Rapist. ALWAYS make sure you have the information to keep yourself safe, and stay aware.Thank you for your service in support of others during one of the most challenging experiences an individual can endure <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 05:12 PM |
| 1 | When someone shows you who they are the first time and all signs point to him being a LVM, don't let emotions dictate your logic and Queen energy. Walk away with grace and don't engage. He knows what he did and he thought he could get away with it, but that's not who you are anymore! <3It can feel really painful to face rejection, but when it comes to love no amount of "effort" you can "put in" or "work towards" will make another person reciprocate what they are feeling towards you so if you are not observing their reciprocity, it's just not there. Learning it the hard way is always the worst <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/20 02:54 PM |
| 1 | Is it a fact of life that most guys who are pursuing women are trash?My philosophy on discerning NVM/LVM from a HVM in the dating game as drastically evolved since finding FDS because the most important thing I have learned is that you CANNOT confirm 100000% a person is potentially a HVM (or HV person in general) until you spent enough time together in public places (outside of a house date or some other type of low effort date like "coffee" or "happy hour" because LVM/NVM thinks paying for a few drinks allows them access to your body for some reason) in a variet… | /r/askFDS | 13/08/20 07:34 PM |
| 7 | When someone shows you who they are the first time and all signs point to him being a LVM, don't let emotions dictate your logic and Queen energy. Walk away with grace and don't engage. He knows what he did and he thought he could get away with it, but that's not who you are anymore! <3If you want and need to get there, I know you will find your way to this place! Keep on keeping on Queen! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 04:59 PM |
| 13 | When someone shows you who they are the first time and all signs point to him being a LVM, don't let emotions dictate your logic and Queen energy. Walk away with grace and don't engage. He knows what he did and he thought he could get away with it, but that's not who you are anymore! <3Congratulations on your sobriety! I am in recovery with an ED so I know each day can feel like a battle, but it's empowering to know that we have the tools to control our new path, proud of you!!! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/20 02:37 PM |
| 40 | Slightly creepy colleague. Is this real or in my head? How do I navigate in the midst of LVM colleagues?It's sad we are socialized and conditioned at an early age to always give men the benefit of the doubt for any "grey" areas of boundary crossing as women because they seem to get all the benefits while they give us the doubt to question their behavior towards us... We are expected to be gaslight into considering it "may be something else" when we know deep in the back of our minds and FEEL it being "inappropriate" yet we almost HAVE to always second guess ourselves first to make it seem more jus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 08:08 PM |
| 1 | From the same social media feeds of all the men & pickmes from your yeehaw small town that believe their high school science courses have given them the same educational credentials & authority as a doctor are also experts in discerning a woman's marital status based on empirical shoe evidence...When he fails to take accountability for continuing to sexually harass her while wearing some modestly covered crocs full of jibbits, he would try to blame her for having such suggestive jibbits that he couldn't help but talk about her sexy seductive toes because he can't stop his depraved mind from sexualizing a woman's body for his own sick mind | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 06:16 PM |
| 12 | What do boundaries feel like?Boundaries are an essential part of healthy self-care too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/20 02:37 PM |
| 29 | From the same social media feeds of all the men & pickmes from your yeehaw small town that believe their high school science courses have given them the same educational credentials & authority as a doctor are also experts in discerning a woman's marital status based on empirical shoe evidence..."Your toes look sexy in those crocs girrrrrrl, wanna get a foot rub later at my place?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/08/20 06:35 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: August 8 2020 💜I never had a spa facial, but one really good skincare routine game changer is either frequent microdermabrasion treatments at a spa or investing in a handheld microderm machine do to microderms 1-2X a week at home DIY. I got a microderm handheld kit on Amazon for $60 and it is amazing! It vacuums all your dead skin so it makes products absorb quickly and helps blend makeup more smoothly with regular use! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 08:20 PM |
| 14 | Classic LVM opening lines...and another reminder that a preliminary pre-date meetup is not an actual date so don't even second guess entertaining that nonsense! If he was potentially a HVM, he knows it's 1000% more risky for us to meet up with them and doesn't require an initial screening interviewHe probably thought saying 2 words would be enough effort on his end and feels entitled to a response SMH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/08/20 06:32 PM |
| 9 | Don't settle for less because it's available and you are feeling lonely. Become comfortable with the solitude of knowing you have everything you need within yourself as the RIGHT people will find you when you start to love yourself consistently! You deserve to be fully loved for who you are!Absolutely a good point--mods if you feel it was inappropriate or endorsing anime, please feel free to take down. I liked the message it was modeling because it's still a very relevant and important today! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:41 PM |
| 14 | Saw these in response to a post in a FB group I’m in. They both really hit meThe only people who question a reasonable boundary from another person is a toxic one that benefits from manipulating other's sense of self-worth by implying their boundaries are unreasonable and those types of people will stop at nothing to make sure you are not self-aware of the value you bring to the table. The know this and it's all calculated on their end as they are fully aware of their actions. But once you start realizing your value and start loving yourself, you realize that those who c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:20 PM |
| 2 | If you are afraid to shine near a man, no amount of attention, people-pleasing, or silence will make him act right towards you. He is withholding love, affection, and effort to chronically devalue you into thinking you deserve to dim your sparkle to deserve love from him. It's a LIE....just move onFor the right HVM, being yourself is always enough! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:11 PM |
| 1 | If you are afraid to shine near a man, no amount of attention, people-pleasing, or silence will make him act right towards you. He is withholding love, affection, and effort to chronically devalue you into thinking you deserve to dim your sparkle to deserve love from him. It's a LIE....just move onI know that's right! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/20 05:10 PM |
| 6 | Do HVMs like to dance with us? Or are we expecting too much?If they are serious and committed to making you happy, they will have no issue taking action to show they care. If it were me, I would try to "sandwich" expressing my needs to a potentially HVM to see if they would actually take action and hear my needs but deliver it in a way that supports their slightly depraved masculine ego so they are compelled to listen. Sadly, it's the only way that I have noticed success. Something along the lines of this script... "I feel so loved and appreciated when y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Another bad dream. When do they stop?It's a very typical response to trauma and I hope you know you are not alone with experiencing this, especially after a toxic relationship. I would experience this frequently after breaking up with a toxic ex and what helped me was... Therapy Researching trauma and reading books related to domestic abuse, healing, and books on how to identity warning signs in the future so I felt empowered in the future to be more vigilant of the red/yellow flags The most important thing that really "flipped the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 06:03 PM |
| 6 | DAE want to talk about the recent season/episodes of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way & 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After. These shows's complicity in allowing men to escalate their mistreatment, manipulation, negligence, and LVM/NVM behaviors to their partners is horrifying and uncomfortable...It's so important to start bringing awareness and normalizing how ANY type of man---ugly, handsome, average, underemployed, wealthy, middle class, etc. can be a TOTAL abuser and NVM/LVM. Jess and Larissa underestimated how toxic Coltee initially was because he pulled the "nice guy" ugly gamer living with grieving mom trope to justify his depraved actions. Women are often told lies that men that are unattractive will be better partners because they will "realize the woman's worth and treat her we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:24 PM |
| 5 | DAE want to talk about the recent season/episodes of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way & 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After. These shows's complicity in allowing men to escalate their mistreatment, manipulation, negligence, and LVM/NVM behaviors to their partners is horrifying and uncomfortable...TBH I was screaming at the TV when Asuelu called his wife and mother of his children a "lying b**ch" in front of her mother as well as witnessing him deliberately throw a mantrum to relinquish contorl over Khalani telling him NO to a Samoa trip then "punishing" Khalani by completing gaslighting/ignoring how shitty of a person he was to her afterwards | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:19 PM |
| 3 | DAE want to talk about the recent season/episodes of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way & 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After. These shows's complicity in allowing men to escalate their mistreatment, manipulation, negligence, and LVM/NVM behaviors to their partners is horrifying and uncomfortable...I agree that it's absolutely entertaining but it's def. concerning to see how the popularity of the show gives the LVM/NVM enough validation/fandom/ammo to continue thinking their behaviors are okay or they are entitled to sympathy for chronically mistreating women | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:17 PM |
| 5 | DAE want to talk about the recent season/episodes of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way & 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After. These shows's complicity in allowing men to escalate their mistreatment, manipulation, negligence, and LVM/NVM behaviors to their partners is horrifying and uncomfortable...This is actually a refreshing take on it and helps me re-frame the show in a more educational manner when I try to explain examples of male depravity and why FDS is so important. Thanks! In the ways you described, it's refreshing to give concrete examples of how men mistreat us and to normalize calling out LVM/NVM behaviors in the dating process to other viewers (friends/family) that join me in weekly viewings of the show. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:15 PM |
| 3 | DAE want to talk about the recent season/episodes of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way & 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After. These shows's complicity in allowing men to escalate their mistreatment, manipulation, negligence, and LVM/NVM behaviors to their partners is horrifying and uncomfortable...It's honestly disturbing how the initially some fans were "rooting" for them to workout...Sumit is a covert manipulator and uses his culture as an excuse to continue to make excuses and do whatever the fuck he wants whenever he feels it's convenient for him. Jenny asking Sumit for the divorce papers and being in hardcore denial about his lies by moving to India for the 3rd time before having Sumit prove he followed though with the divorce then acting "surprised" when he magically didn't have the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 03:12 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 30 2020Anything that isn't too deep for an initial first date, but some lower level deal-breakers that are appropriate for the timeline of where you are at with this person. Like for me--what do you think of [insert social justice issues that are rooted in institutional discrimination/racism within our country/political sphere] or personal dealbreakers that are a dealbreaker to you but not are not standard dealbreakers for most people.... Ex: If you do not drink and prefer a partner that did not drink … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 07:50 PM |
| 4 | What "lightly depraved" actions and/or "dating test" fuckeries will you NEVER tolerate again from a man since finding FDS (ex: items that do not warren red flags but yellow to green range symptoms/warning signs you missed before outside of standard FDS guidelines)?These are golden examples of lightly depraved time inconsiderate LVM/NVM behaviors! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 06:26 PM |
| 6 | What "lightly depraved" actions and/or "dating test" fuckeries will you NEVER tolerate again from a man since finding FDS (ex: items that do not warren red flags but yellow to green range symptoms/warning signs you missed before outside of standard FDS guidelines)?Other ones I am thinking about now... Downplays my passions or things that excite me in my day-to-day life. Ex: if I cook some new cool dish from start to finish and I get excited by taking a few pictures to show my family/friends then they are like "It's just a picture of a chicken"....at that point I am like, "I am feeling happy and proud of trying a new recipe so I am going to take some pictures to show my friends and family. Since you don't appreciate my excitement and sense of accomplishmen… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 06:25 PM |
| 2 | If I feed the tender egos of all the future fakers I am talking to by proudly proclaiming that I will cherish a cheap, low effort engagement ring from a negligent LVM, even if he has the means to not be completely negligent or lazy with a once in a lifetime moment, will they pickme?The new stuff she will need to buy from Walmart form the divorce proceedings will cost far more than $48 If you're THAT desperate to get a "proposal" like that, at least make sure the ring can be worth enough to buy a couch for your divorce if push comes to shove lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 10:28 PM |
| 1 | So There Was This Guy Who Messed Me AroundI have a younger sibling so I apologize in advance for the long "big sister" tirade but.... One thing I wish I had was an older supportive presence telling me that it's completely normal to feel awkward/weird from ages 13-25 but not to let that FEELING (because feelings are just that--feelings) get in the way of the love you have for yourself or think it's okay to allow another person to actively mistreat or devalue you for sometimes feeling insecure or making a learning moment (otherwise known … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 10:12 PM |
| 1 | Help a sister outAt the end of the day, OP you OWE it to yourself and the future lives of your hypothetical children (should you choose to have them) to feel confident, supported, and feel an eternal sense of peace within yourself. Relationships, especially before the engagement process (or even hypothetically discussing an engagement timeline with a long term relationship), should FEEL EASY, BE EASY, and it should be CLEAR to both parties what direction you both are moving towards in a way that does not compris… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 09:14 PM |
| 5 | Can a very short man be a HVM?Similarly to how it's a "natural response to get angry when you make fun of things they can't change", FDS is about playfully poking fun about LVM and men in general to bring attention the areas in dating we are frustrated about (and low-key angry about) regarding covert sexism. For some reason, it's okay for men to be angry but the second a woman expresses anger about their mistreatment from men---men tend to rebuttal their grievances instead of empathizing and HEARING us. It's telling for you … | /r/askFDS | 03/08/20 05:03 PM |
| 1 | Being a self-proclaimed advocate and supporter of the MeToo but then choosing to lash out, deny, discredit or retaliate against any woman that shares their experience with you bc it hits too close to home to you makes you complicit in sexism and rape culture.Actions speak volumes on a person's true character and integrity.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/20 04:36 PM |
| 43 | I guess I’m not a real woman then 🤷♀️I guess to be a "real woman" to a NVM/LVM is to allow them to chronically mistreat us for their own personal fulfillment, never hold them accountable for their deliberate negligence and actions, and keep this rhetoric going. Our society is run by men and any women who try to get their input represented to change this particular narrative will be torn down at all costs by the powerful scrotes who waste all their time defending their entitlements. Edited because I always write massive run on sente… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/07/20 03:53 PM |
| 9 | Never let males make excuses, they are solely responsible for ALL of their actions and words.Our society makes all kinds of concessions and/or romanticizes the idea that you must "grow together" to "meet potential" but what people downplay is, if 1 person feels their partner is mistreating them or not meeting expectations (or effort or any other dealbreaker) the other party is under NO OBLIGATION to stay in a relationship if it's not enhancing their life in a positive way-- to make the investment/effort worth having another person chronically leech on them and justify you continuing to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 10:32 PM |
| 4 | How do you introduce your female friends to FDS without forcing it on themBeing nonjudgmental, warm, patient, but emulate firm, strong boundaries and self-love in their presence to reinforce the importance of how loving yourself first can translate to improving your overall life in other areas. My friend left an extremely toxic relationship with a NVM (eventually became abusive), but I knew that the NVM would attempt to isolate me from my friend (and then spin me as being a "risk to their relationship" to spin the narrative and try to make her feel responsible for his… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 07:28 PM |
| 18 | 2 degrees of separation is too close with LVM/NVM, protect yourself from women with shitty partnersYup, this is some solid points--especially for those who are new to FDS teachings and are trying to navigate "the new normal" with existing lifelong friendships that are being more evident over time (as you gain a new level of woke FDS awareness/knowledge) that their partners are LVM/NVM. Thank you for your concise, detailed, and through points. A NVM (and LVM) will try to isolate your pickme friend from you if they sense you will have a sense of power and influence over your friend when you bri… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 05:43 PM |
| 13 | A revelationI know it's hard to make the first move, but you will feel so much more FREE and YOUSELF (your truest form) after the 130+ pounds of LVM emotional vampire is no longer lurking in your head-space rent-free. You are holding onto the person he once was when you first met him and the potential you emotionally invested in with him during the course of your relationship (sunk cost fallacy amirite) for years, but you're different now and you don't need to justify your reasons for leaving the relationsh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/07/20 05:32 PM |
| 3 | Breaking up with LVM extra push to not continue with pick me ways.First, huge hugs. Even if a person is toxic to your well-being and clearly look like a total POS based off their actions as an insider looking into your situation, I know this feels shitty and it was really hard for you to do even if you knew it was what is best for you long term. <3 I would encourage you to follow the J.A.D.E (do not Justify Argue Defend or Explain any shit he tries to spew at you as an attach/manipulation ploy) acronym if there is an intentional imminent need to get into commu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 08:10 PM |
| 7 | My Greatest HandicapWith dating, some of the Aspie young adult males shared some absolutely beautiful ways they communicated (in their way) how they showcased their interest with women in a clear, direct, but respectful courting ways. They (in my limited experience that is entirely small in sample size) liked the traditional dating/courting type of dating structure and being very "old school" with setting a formal time, date, location, and planned date when they were getting to know a possible romantic prospect. IM… | /r/askFDS | 28/07/20 07:48 PM |
| 3 | My Greatest HandicapHi OP! I appreciate you having the courage to be honest with who you are in this moment, being accountable with where you are at, and seeking feedback or guidance from others that come from a very different life experience or identity as you. In my professional career in a helping profession, I support young adults with different intellectual, developmental, or mental health conditions as well as different disabilities (physical, verbal, learning, etc.) ages 16-24 in accessing educational opport… | /r/askFDS | 28/07/20 07:48 PM |
| 2 | So There Was This Guy Who Messed Me AroundHey OP! I am so happy to hear your updates and changes have a positive impact in starting the process to begin loving yourself. It's going to come with good days and bad days with one step forward and two steps back initially, but the learning and growth far outweighs the security of an unhappy toxic relationship. It's cheesy, but start a gratitude journal and write down at least 2-3 things you are grateful each night before bed to reflect on the lessons, appreciate the moment, and continue to w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/20 05:48 PM |
| 32 | How to trust yourself and your intuition?Do not trust a person's words at face value, always be observant of other's behaviors, consistency with behaviors, personal values in their day-to-day lives, and how they treat others when noone is watching them.....observe actions, not words. Do not fall in love with potential. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/20 08:44 PM |
| 28 | Loving yourself isn't vanity, it's sanity Queens!Mamoru is a total LVM and Usagi is a pickme, but there were some other groundbreaking inclusive themes that were ahead of their times that made me LOVE the show otherwise... The Sailor Stars were portrayed as genderfluid/genderqueer MOST of the Guardians were focused on themselves, their interest, the goals/hobbies, and vision for the future Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune had a playful, supportive, loving partnership most of the time and anytime it didn't seem that way, it was intentional to f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/20 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Step 1: begin loving yourself first & role model what you expect from others who respect your presence in their life by keeping consistent high standards from day 1To be seen, respected, and valued for the person you are for today, in this exact moment. To not be typecast or assumed to have particular attributes or stereotypes associated with certain life experiences, but taking the time to really get to know me on an intimate level to discern when it's an area of growth vs. excuses/justification then giving me the love/respect to call me to hold me accountable so we both continue to level up | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 09:21 PM |
| 24 | If we changed the stock photo and comparison to "Boyfriend" they would endlessly would tirade to assert their dominance in stopping male hate speech by taking down this meme on Facebook, but we are expected to entertain their low capacity to develop covertly sexist memes on social media as "humor"Boyfriend: Wastes extensive free time complaining about Girlfriend to neg her about caring for her appearance to downplay how snobby, disgusting, and deflect personal accountability for letting himself go Fat % varies over time Has detrimental emotional value and will deplete your body of essential physical health long term Interest rate is at 30% over a 10 year period and will cost significantly more than $150,000 in lost opportunities, time, energy, therapy, etc. Will encourage you to fart to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 09:57 PM |
| 4 | Is it a good idea to propose before grad school but wait to get married until after grad school?Talk to her. Make decisions with her and do not use internet studies or internet strangers to justify delaying marriage until "the future" happens if she is making it clear to you (after conversing) that she expects there to be marriage after dating for a duration of time. If that's not something you are able to take action on after getting clarity on what she wants and/or expects moving forward, realize your options are to either: 1) Take action if you really do intend on marrying her "eventual… | /r/askFDS | 23/07/20 02:44 PM |
| 19 | How do I do more to put my wife first?Putting your wife first as a HVM entails: Taking care of yourself so she does not need to waste her time, energy, and efforts parenting a spouse and being accountable/responsible for your well-being in a consistent manner. As a husband, this can entail: Scheduling a regular PCP or family doctor appointment 1X per year and any preventative health tests/baselines each year to showcase you are responsible for managing your own healthcare needs. Taking the time out of your day to schedule these appo… | /r/askFDS | 23/07/20 02:33 PM |
| 17 | Advice For Women Married To LVM?In addition to researching your local, state, and federal laws for the policies/laws and logistics (lawyer strongly recommended), try to make a list of different things you need to cancel, update, or follow up on before deciding to formally leave via divorce to make your life easier since you have some wiggle room with time. If you have pets in each other's name or was OG owner of the family pet before marriage, etc. try to ensure you are the primary contact of your fur babies in writing if you … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 11:56 PM |
| 9 | Let's talk prenupsI would encourage you to make the prenup extensive and cover different facets of life that could be financially disastrous if it were to occur during the transition of having 1 household untangling themselves into 2 separate households independent while figuring out shared items or settlements with property, assets, savings, mementos, etc. Examples: If one of you stays home as a full time parent/homemaker to save money on childcare and consciously choose to have a 1 income household for financia… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 09:38 PM |
| 5 | Breakup AdviceTreat him as a roommate, nothing more. Be cordial and civil, but know it's not your responsibility, role, or a priority for you to choose his comfort over your own or make concessions for a person who has made it clear that they are not as invested. Try to aggressively save as much money as you can and try to GTFO of your current living situation. Obviously, prioritize your mental health and try to get some enjoyed from your current circumstances too, but aggressively saving by meal prepping, or… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 06:42 PM |
| 6 | I don't get why LVM shame women for wanting expensive weddings or wedding ringsIf a guy wants to make you happy and recognizes you want a larger, extravagant and/or traditional wedding but it's going to require some savings and smart fiscal planning before it could happen, a potentially HVM will have no issue taking action to work towards those steps. That's my philosophy on it and why I'll never settle until a man proves he wants me forever and shows that he is willing to put in his part in developing a sound foundation for us to be a collaborative team partnership and lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 06:04 PM |
| 39 | Thank you!Welcome to FDS! You are going to fall in love with yourself now, okay???!!!?!? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 05:56 PM |
| 2 | Reaching out for supportDon't beat yourself up for not being ready now. It took me 10 years to feel fully "ready" but had I known how much quicker it helped me level up once I fully verbalized it to my therapists, I would have pushed myself to have done that sooner. Even after that time had passed, I still cried sharing some of the details and specific incidents but therapists are well trained to help support you with sharing difficult things. There is no right or wrong time to be "ready", do whatever you need right no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 05:05 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Momma Debbie and Coltie are the epitome of a toxic codependent relationship. I don't really know why this new chick has such low self esteem that she wants to be his maid-sex-machine to a stingy, greasy, neck-beard couch creature that has the body shape of Grimace from the McDonalds crew when he doesn't bring anything of value to her life and didn't want to dish out the extra $100/night for a private hotel room. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 03:42 PM |
| 2 | The University will still ask you for an absurd amount of money to show reciprocity within the relationship, but at least your diploma won't wake up one day and decide they don't love you anymore after 4+ years. It's better to have no boyfriend than one that does the absolute bare minimumShe made me laugh while working from home for at least 10 mins to myself!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 03:38 PM |
| 2 | Reaching out for supportThat's an amazing commitment you have made to yourself and I wish you nothing but the best moving forward. Working on your career goals sounds like a positive outlet and a great motivator. I found great comfort taking advantage of free college courses online offered by universities to learn about random things to get me through so I commend this on using this time to get creative with your self-improvement and leveling up! I'm happy to hear you have counseling options to dig deeper. Do not do a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 03:36 PM |
| 7 | RESPECT YOURSELF FIRST QUEENS (& thank you FDS!)I am happy this worked out for you and FDS has brought you some changes within your relationship for the better. This is the exception rather than the rule, but it's nice to know it can be possible depending on the man and how badly they want to change. When imposed true consequences of mistreating a partner, a potentially HVM (or a man desiring to level up) will step up to the challenge and be consistent with their actions to make it clear where you stand in their heart. Best of luck, give us a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 09:06 PM |
| 4 | LVM decided I was the one worth leaving.When my NVM ex fiance left me after YEARS of being together, it was really hard and my "rational/logical" brain was telling me that 1) he was total shit and being with him long term would have sucked the life out of me 2) even if we worked out, we would most likely be dysfunctional or divorced by the time we both reached 40 with more baggage 3) I contributed more in the relationship than him on any given day, significantly more so than him 4) I started as a pickme in the relationship, but was tr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 08:56 PM |
| 3 | I did it! Thank you FDS Community!!Congratulations on losing that dead manchildpartner weight! You are on the path to living your best life and healing onward! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 08:20 PM |
| 9 | The University will still ask you for an absurd amount of money to show reciprocity within the relationship, but at least your diploma won't wake up one day and decide they don't love you anymore after 4+ years. It's better to have no boyfriend than one that does the absolute bare minimumEven more evidence to support that men ain't shit 99.5% of the times | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 07:00 PM |
| 3 | How so you repell creppy LvM?Emulate high standards and high worth from your profile by emulating class, effort, and personal growth that scares them away because they recognize from afar, you are completely out of their league If they are delusional enough to feel entitled to be considered as a potential romantic suitor and are narcissistic enough to believe they have a chance with you and reach out, just say "No thank you." You don't need to justify, explain or give rationale to a complete stranger. If he presses and trie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 06:49 PM |
| 7 | Where and how to find HVW?When you are in a place where you are striving and continuing to improve yourself to become a HVM, you will find potentially HVW in your circle of hobbies, social groups, hangouts, organizations, work affiliations, professional development, local communities, etc. | /r/askFDS | 21/07/20 06:44 PM |
| 38 | How to vet for sexual compatibilityThank you for sharing some practical indicators of a man being pornsick and the different milestones you recommend engaging in before sex. I def. recommend dragging out PIV sex for as long as possible and making oral a routine thing before full sex. Over time, there are a lot of subtle symptoms of pornsick behavior. Getting hard very quickly from 0-100, specific porn on their computer, dry humping when they are super horny, an obsession with boob play to the point where nipples hurt/uncomfortabl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 06:40 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Hiya! I apprechiate your kind words and am glad you found that a useful tool to help you level up! Therapy has changed my life and so has FDS! I hope you are doing well and taking the time you need for yourself. You deserve that time and there is not "right" or "wrong" time-frame to move forward. Celebrate every step! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 06:08 PM |
| 16 | Must read, The Gift of Fear! For all women. A lot of topics discussed about male behavior, but also how to keep yourself safe.This is gonna take some time for me to read and vet some books, but I def would encourage the following books so far: 1) Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft 2) Why Men Love Bitches (Another FDS reading suggestion) 3) Answering Why by Mark C. Perna 4) Dare to Lead by Brene Brown 5) Daring Greatly by Brene Brown 6) And I thought It Was Just Me book by Brene Brown (double check the title, I vaguely remember it because it was longer) If I create a formal list, I will let you all know and post her… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 06:06 PM |
| 22 | The University will still ask you for an absurd amount of money to show reciprocity within the relationship, but at least your diploma won't wake up one day and decide they don't love you anymore after 4+ years. It's better to have no boyfriend than one that does the absolute bare minimumYAS people come and go, but your education is forever once you attain the credentials! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 05:57 PM |
| 17 | Help a sister outThese are some of the things that spoke to me that were concerns: You are at the 2 year mark and are using "living in a fairly expensive town after college" as justification (or implying) why engagement has been delayed on his end. This assumption is not the reality-- you are disreading into his behavior and making excuses for his delay but not seeing if he is actually taking steps to make that a reality towards engagement other than talking about hypothetical scenarios that are years beyond the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:58 PM |
| 26 | LVM PUA Tactics on OLD.He looks like the kind of LVM that leaves track marks in his tidy whites and is unable to groom his ginger face tresses in a uniform manner to look somewhat less slobby so I find it hard to believe he still has immense success implementing all his PUA tactics on OLD | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:33 PM |
| 8 | An Open Letter to My "Suitor"I am proud of you in recognizing that it's not in your best interest to let him know you are still thinking about him or feel the need to communicate that he has hurt you because you are right, that would not change what he did & he very much knows that he hurt you but it doesn't change that he actively choose to treat you in this manner. I know it hurts and you want to let it all out. I used to write letters on paper and expel all the feelings onto paper then burn the letter. Very freeing 10/10… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:29 PM |
| 14 | Reaching out for supportI am so happy you found FDS and reached out for support after such a challenging life experience. I want to affirm that it's okay to grieve and feel the range of emotions that come with a great loss as well as processing the abuse once the "brain fog" of the acute trauma you endured starts fading in the day-to-day minute-to-minute survival mode. I would strongly encourage you read all the FDS handbook and guides. From there, connect on FDS threads to get clarification on practices or learn more … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:23 PM |
| 28 | Must read, The Gift of Fear! For all women. A lot of topics discussed about male behavior, but also how to keep yourself safe.Thank you for this book recommendation! I just bought this book after someone on FDS recommended it on a thread and the reviews really sold me. I want to make a list of books every young teen/young adult age 15-20 should read related to FDS principles to share with some young adults I support at work related to safety, intuition, gut feeling, observation, and assessing a person's character so I am reading this for my job in the next few weeks to see how I can incorporate some of those key points… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 02:33 PM |
| 29 | This woman’s bf found out his ex was engaged. Immediately flys into a rage and wants to send a photo of her hand with a ring to the ex.I hope she finds us soon because that's some Queen shit to walk away without question or encouragement! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 02:30 PM |
| 5 | Find out if a family member, friend, or acquaintance is a LVM/NVM by asking them what they got for their wife, partner, significant other, or ex when they gave birth to their child...What a piece of trash, I am so sorry you had to deal with that giant shithead. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 02:55 AM |
| 16 | Find out if a family member, friend, or acquaintance is a LVM/NVM by asking them what they got for their wife, partner, significant other, or ex when they gave birth to their child...SCREAMING!!! While similar unfortunatly, no. This guy named his kid after a sport's team that clearly cannot be pawned off as a new age kids name either. It's just gross sounding name and it's even worse knowing there was literally no significant meaning attached to the baby's name other than this dude thought his love for this particular sports team surpassed the love, thought and consideration of other names in his life and/or partner's life (ie: deceased relatives, etc). Just NVM all around l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 10:27 PM |
| 11 | Recovering pickmeshia fresh out of relationship and seeking support during healing and transformationFirst, congratulations on the new chapter and making a commitment to leveling up. It's not easy and there will be moments when you are feeling so many things that it can be really isolating or overwhelming. That's a normal part of this process and I am happy you are here. I would kindly encourage you to consider the following: If your friend circle is intertwined still, keep in contact but in a "business professional" type of way. Go to events, keep in contact/ongoing rapport with those friends,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 09:41 PM |
| 8 | I feel like an A**holeSome other saftey tips too: 1) Reset your passcodes if he knows them to your phone, laptop, and other files with personally identifable information like your SS number, bank accounts, etc. 2) Reset any autosave features on your laptop as well so he cannot use your credit cards or other means from your devices if he can get into them 3) take all snacks in the living area into your bedroom and padlock your door so he cannot have direct access to your bedroom. Talk to your landlord to see if they c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 09:31 PM |
| 16 | Couldn't fit the classic "I don't use this app a lot, what is your number?" or "Can you send me a picture of yourself?" The gem "I've got a lot going on this week, maybe next week" and "Sorry I'm just really busy right now" are also assumed. Don't forget "Are you home?" courtesy text after 2am!It's not the dog's fault their owners are a LVM, but they get pimped out by LVM because they are hoping to distract us from their other displays of red flags | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 07:27 PM |
| 54 | Couldn't fit the classic "I don't use this app a lot, what is your number?" or "Can you send me a picture of yourself?" The gem "I've got a lot going on this week, maybe next week" and "Sorry I'm just really busy right now" are also assumed. Don't forget "Are you home?" courtesy text after 2am!They think dog pics will distract us from their fuckery and believe dog pics give them an automatic personality with OLD profiles lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 06:27 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts on engagement etiquette?Wait...he wants an engagement gift for him doing what he should be doing to showcase he wants a lifelong commitment? It's like giving him a participation trophy IMO and it sets a bad taste in my mouth TBH. In love, women are the prize. A HVM knows this. If he is trying to dispute this, I would send him to scientific articles with empirical evidence to prove that the benefits of marriage for men far exceed the benefits for women long term and overall. Also, I hope you know this is not the man you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 04:25 PM |
| 3 | (Update for 'I snooped my boyfriend's phone and I think he had sex with 15 yo girl) I broke up with him.1) Proud of you for doing what is best for YOU, dumping that loser, and not looking back 2) If you are safe and feel comfortable, I would make sure that this POS is not grooming or harming other young girls by making a formal report. Idk what the age of consent is or your age/context other than this post, but 15 years old is VERY young IMO and in the US, the age of consent for many states is 16. If it's confirmed or suspected that he is continuing this behavior for young girls (not young women b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 04:17 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Thank you so much for sharing her info! It's a joy hearing her podcast at work right now! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 04:09 PM |
| 2 | How do you feel ok about your life after rejectionsI hope you know that being rejected by another person has NOTHING to really do with YOU. You are worthy and bring a lot of great things into this world---having a romantic prospect has NOTHING to do with that at all! When others do something that hurts another person, it's usually a reflection of who they are and their relationship with themselves. With this said, don't lose another minute empathizing and romanticizing a man who has hurt you and made you feel this way. I am more of a practical p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 03:13 PM |
| 22 | Imagine having kids with someone like this...I KNOW! Mother Kalani set him straight and I was all about her calling him out for being a total shithead. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 02:44 PM |
| 48 | I feel like an A**holeIn addition to all the points FDS Queens are making (yes, you should absolutely dump his ass ASAP), I wanted to give you some logistical considerations from the USA laws and policies (if you are in another country, I would encourage you to check out your legal system as well...): To formally evict, confirm with your state laws the time-frame but GENERALLY 30 days notice of an eviction formally served in writing to the other party if they are squatting at your place as an unpaid tenant not on you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Remember to treat yourself every day queens 👏Going to order one for myself this week, thanks for the Queen inspo! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 08:58 PM |
| 158 | Engaged Since 2010Being alone for 10 years sounds way more appealing | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 08:50 PM |
| 9 | Guess who just ended a 10 month relationship with a LVMThat's some Queen shit right there! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 06:59 PM |
| 12 | Hi girls! I must accept the fact that I’ve been such a pickmeisha in the past 🤦🏼♀️You don't have to respond to them if they do reach out. You are in charge of what you believe is best for who you are now. Read the FDS handbook, assess what feels best for you, and go with your gut. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 02:53 AM |
| 7 | FDS for friends too?Trust your intuition, if something is not feeling "right" from this friendship--it's okay to distance yourself and find people who won't have you questioning their intentions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 01:52 AM |
| 30 | Why buy the cow...They love calling us a gold digger when they pay for 1 singular meal, talk about themselves & their problems for 3/4 of the meal, then use that "dig" to imply we were wrong for not allowing them to continue their low effort behavior when we reject them. The audacity! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:16 AM |
| 23 | FDS is a haven for recovering pickmeshias.....We are so happy you are here! I found this sub and told my therapist about it so she is now checking it out for her young adult daughters hahaha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:08 AM |
| 2 | Why Does He Do That? Book Thread Discussion Week 1One standout quote that resonated with me for this section is Ludy Bancroft's operational definition on the word abuser as it's in perfect alignment with FDS principles: "I have simply chosen the words abuser as a shorthand way of saying 'men who chronically make their partners feel mistreated or devalued.' " (Introduction xvi) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:03 AM |
| 2 | Why Does He Do That? Book Thread Discussion Week 1One thing that really shocked me when I initially read the Introduction section of the 2002 revised version was... This quote on pg xviii: ""they become attached to the various privileges they earn through mistreating their partners, and they have habits of mind that make it difficult for them to imagine being in a respectful and equal relationship with a woman." Even in the Introduction, Ludy is making it very clear to the reader that an abusive and/or controlling man's actions have NOTHING to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/07/20 12:00 AM |
| 181 | This woman owns a house with her boyfriend of 9 years. He won’t propose to her.9 years is enough time to collect enough spare change on the sidewalk of a US parking lot (pre-covid) to start saving for a ring at that point | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 10:17 PM |
| 3 | Women share these social media husband fails as "humor" to downplay their partner's LVM behavior & convince themselves that marriage with an unequal partnership is better than being alone. Don't take advice or feel shame for living your best life from the (unhappily) married crabs-in-a-bucket-club..At that point, any woman who thinks it's a good idea to continue to make dinner should only make a plate for 1 and eat their spaghetti in front of that loser | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 09:17 PM |
| 2 | Women share these social media husband fails as "humor" to downplay their partner's LVM behavior & convince themselves that marriage with an unequal partnership is better than being alone. Don't take advice or feel shame for living your best life from the (unhappily) married crabs-in-a-bucket-club..She should include the pictures of his manipulative negligence in the divorce settlement and get extra alimony from the additional labor she had to endure caring for a lazy manchild | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 09:14 PM |
| 2 | Women share these social media husband fails as "humor" to downplay their partner's LVM behavior & convince themselves that marriage with an unequal partnership is better than being alone. Don't take advice or feel shame for living your best life from the (unhappily) married crabs-in-a-bucket-club..He deserves a divorce | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/07/20 09:13 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Thank you for reaching out. I am still processing a lot of anger and realizing how toxic this person I thought I loved for so long was really a giant POS while also dating a man who treats me like a total Queen. It's been almost 9 months since we broke up formally, but it still comes in waves where shit hits me out of nowhere and I suddenly feel stuff. I think hearing his voice on the phone for the first time in months REALLY triggered a lot of things I didn't realize I still had within me and I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 08:36 PM |
| 3 | My Experiences with Religious MenI work with young adults and I find it hard to believe these Youth Group Leaders are truly doing "their job" because if they were, they would recognize the importance of boundaries and not excessively "hanging" with the people you are paid to support because that's fucking weird as an adult. I love supporting that age group in my profession, but I would NEVER spend an excessive amount of unpaid time pro bono to HANG OUT with the young adults I am supporting for a variety of reasons, but one bein… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 07:09 PM |
| 5 | My Experiences with Religious MenIDK why churches don't find it odd that there are men who optionally want to hang out with a bunch of angsty children/teenagers for fun during their free time and optionally host bunch of other "fun and optional" social events where they are "hanging" with an ADULT MALE with the Youth Group Leader trying to act like their "friends". Sounds like grooming to me? But when you add religion into the mix, they try to spin it as "me perverting God's plan to give these children/teenagers a mentor" if I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 07:03 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020I rationally know 10000000% that I am better off with my shitty NVM ex, but my phone keeps doing those photo reminders "3 years ago today..." and I keep getting flooded with nostalgia, memories, and it's just a lot of feelings right now. I rationally know he is a complete POS and know I am a million times better after finding FDS because a marriage with him would be SO SHITTY, however, I am also human and am still learning to undo my old ways. He called me a few weeks ago because a cat we used t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 06:57 PM |
| 3 | My Experiences with Religious MenI grew up in a Christian church and was raised religious. To my parent's credit, they selected the "liberal" sect of our church and did not go the Evangelical route so I did have some positive experiences with serving others in poverty, witnessing women in top leadership roles in the church I was affiliated with (unlike the Evangelical branch that did not allow women to be pastors), ongoing service/community that accompanies a faith-based mission, and a diverse congregation in a very rural town.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 06:30 PM |
| 3 | My Experiences with Religious MenTBH I find most "Youth Groups Leader" males predators and groom youth group members Anytime I work with young adults that are heavily involved in religion, there is ALWAYS a creepy "well intended" Youth Group Leader and I have to tread lightly or else I get shamed for implying it's odd that a grown man wants to hang with a bunch of 12-19 year old girls | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 05:49 PM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Or when you are close to 30 and starting to date a man, she will try to shame you for having standards and be like "be nice to him, you don't want to scare men away now that you are older and have a career...." as if that's some scarlet letter of shame I should care about on her behalf? I'd rather be alone for 40 years than settle for a fake husband to parade on social media to join the crabs-in-the-bucket-wife-club. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 04:57 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Read the FDS handbook and try to work on separating YOU from "the potential" you are hoping this man will bring to your life because he is making it clear that he has no incentive to really make a change and does not feel compelled to. What you are hoping he will do is not what is he is doing for you now and from what I am finding, he really isn't doing ANYTHING really for you to begin with. It seems to be wearing on your well-being and I don't think that's fair to you honey | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 04:52 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Congratulations on the next chapter Queen! Sleeping in fresh bedding for the first time is an amazing feeling and you DESERVE that so much! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 04:49 PM |
| 4 | My Experiences with Religious MenIMO my experience religious men tend to be a yellow/red flag for the reasons you described but men who differentiate "religion" and "spirituality" AND primarily self-identify as "spiritual" (ex: growing up strictly religious, not strictly following the church as an adult but has an appreciation for the interconnections their faith brings) tend to be a green/yellow flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 04:47 PM |
| 12 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020That's really hard and I 'm sorry you are feeling stuck in this situation, especially with all that is going on right now. First and foremost, try to take care of yourself as much as you can without compromising your safety or exit plan to keep nurturing your mental health during this process. Therapy is strongly encouraged, but if it's not possible for insurance, safety, etc., there are some virtual support groups and circles you could try to engage in to connect with others. If you are in the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 03:53 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered July 15 2020Do you like matte finish or dewy??? Also do you have normal, combo, dry, or oily skin??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 03:33 PM |
| 3 | Aside from gift giving, what are some ways HVM demonstrate their ongoing appreciation and love towards you in your life? What do you observe HVM doing for their partners regularly?I guess my question was in addition to the handbook, what are examples of HVM behaviors within a relationship? The handbook is the major key, but I also think it's helpful to have some specific examples that showcase this in actual practice or things others have observed that demonstrate this within a healthy relationship. I have a lot of poor relationship role models growing up and since finding FDS, I realize that at least 75% of my friends are dating some type of LVM so it's nice to hear exam… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 02:45 PM |
| 6 | "Thank you for your time" - my new high road approach to dating thanks to FDSThe best part is those toxic mofos are delusional and think it's me wishing them well because they are too narcissistic to read between the lines lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 07:12 PM |
| 1 | In the future, should I take a girl to an expensive restaurant for a first date?Dates should be about getting to know a person better in a fun, personalized and thoughtful setting that is appropriate based on where you are at in your life. A teenager/young adult should be able to plan a fun day with another person and include some type of food/meal and/or activity that they would enjoy doing with you. It's not so much about the cost, but the thought and attention to detail in getting to know them personally. Example of a fun date for a teen may be finding a Youtube painting… | /r/askFDS | 15/07/20 06:44 PM |
| 7 | An important lesson in valuing yourself.Disrespect means dip in a relationship, he ain't the one then sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 06:38 PM |
| 39 | "Thank you for your time" - my new high road approach to dating thanks to FDSLeaving things classy and vague is the best way to fuck with a LVM/NVM that thinks they hold the power over you by ending things because their egos typically anticipate something else from us as we are socialized to seek "closure" and other BS as women. I didn't thank a LVM for wasting my time, but I said something along the lines of "It feels good to have clarity on where we stand and receiving your feedback. I know you will find what you are looking for." I say this because: It doesn't indicat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/07/20 04:05 PM |
| 32 | Lvm "apologizing"I feel like 100% of my LVM/NVM "apologies" resemble these general templates | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 08:13 PM |
| 2 | How to let go of the yearning for marriage/ children?In my mid to late 20's, I started having the yearning to start a family. It wasn't the man that I wanted, but to raise a tiny human (adopt, foster, or have on my own), and finding a HVM would be an additional bonus. NGL, I still feel this way but I try to accept that it will happen for me in due time and there is no "right" time for it to happen so I should just focus on becoming my best self for my future children and undo any patterns in my life that are not serving me well. I also want to gro… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 06:08 PM |
| 18 | This is a reminder not to respond to people soliciting book clubs, video chats, zoom or other groups. Protect you privacy!Hi Mods! I messaged you all and take complete ownership that I wrote a post earlier requesting a Why Does He Do That? Weekly virtual book club over Reddit every Friday starting this week to engage in intentional discussions on the different chapters as a community as a weekly ongoing thread as we read the book together. I know others expressed interest with a virtual meeting and I jumped the gun by taking an idea of a virtual Zoom meeting with a protected password without consulting the Mods fir… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 09:30 PM |
| 30 | I wonder if my(23f) bf(21m) is lying?1) Read the FDS handbook and use this time to take control of YOUR life instead of anxiously contemplating if your shitty grimy bf/ex is lying because he most definatley is so idk why you are even trying to ask internet strangers to tell you otherwise or how that would help YOU 2) Why do you want to be with a person who is untrustworthy and tries to double dip their cheese stick while "dating" you? It doesn't seem to bring much to you other than the comfort of knowing you are in a relationship w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 07:08 PM |
| 3 | I already know this but need tellingYou know deep down contacting him is not in your best interests and I want to affirm that you should NOT CONTACT HIM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 04:34 PM |
| 2 | So There Was This Guy Who Messed Me AroundOh sweetheart...there is a reason why young people should refrain from dating and I do not want to be one of "those adults" to try to tell you how to live your life because you are finding your path as a young adult, but I also want to point out some "big sister concerns." You told this boy you were uncomfortable and did not want to have sex with him the first time. He continues to try to pressure you and violate your boundaries when telling him no because he feels entitled for your attention, t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 04:26 PM |
| 2 | Someone please tell me I’m being dumb...Immediate reaction is GTFO and YES DUMP him (longer explanation/context below) How did this feel to type out how this POS is treating you? It hurt for me just to read this and know there is a woman out there that is so fixated on not being alone, that they would rather hang out with a man that is constantly devaluing, dismissing, and mistreating them as a human being. Why do you feel you are not deserving of basic respect in a relationship? Being acknowledged on a birthday is not a big ask. Havi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 04:11 PM |
| 2 | How to get over a situationship? Please share your strategies that helped you get out of a bad placeI know with covid things can feel tougher when there is less support around, but I would encourage you to absorb all you can from FDS by reading the materials and reframe the experience as an opportunity to fall in love with yourself. This moment may suck and FEEL hard, but it's there to teach you something you didn't know about yourself before. Focus on learning new skills, calling old friends, or finding some joy with being alone and OWNING the beauty in loving who you are at all times. Shamel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 04:02 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!Good luck on the grad school entrance exam! It can be nerve wracking but once you are done, it'll feel AMAZING!!! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 02:29 PM |
| 2 | I miss physical intimacy so much that I cry over it. How do you all handle going without it?Aside from current covid concerns, I would recommend volunteering an a nursing home and/or a hospice to provide respite care to families. I was a hospice volunteer and LOVED it (for many reasons) but one thing we often forget is that older adults, especially terminally ill ones, really desire physical touch and affection for comfort. It's a human need and it's often overlooked with older adults. They feel a lot of shame or as if they are a burden requesting a lot of affection from their loved on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 02:28 PM |
| 13 | I found this in my journal from 6 years ago. I wrote this after being raped and sexually abused. Trigger warning.The last paragraph hit me in all the right ways. Those are some golden Queen mantras to say to ourselves anytime we question why we should commit to leveling up. It's lonely at the top and for good reason--being a HV person requires consistency to the journey and training yourself to actively put yourself as #1 can be "controversial" to all the people in your life that do not deserve to be there. These words inspired me, thank you for sharing. This gave me chills and articulates so much I've alw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/07/20 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Did I make the right choice to cut him out?Yes you did the right thing. Trust yourself and love yourself the way you deserve. He is a person you just met on OLD, you do not owe him any more understanding or an explanation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 08:59 PM |
| 6 | Reminder that there is no excuse for abuse, pass it onThank you! His message is SO POWERFUL, thank you for the reminder! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 04:40 PM |
| 2 | Can we talk about Pick Up Artists?Thank you, I am glad I found FDS a few months before and was lurking so I knew it was time to just GTFO. It gave me the confidence to stay strong, be firm, and put myself first because most men are depraved. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/20 06:42 PM |
| 20 | Anyone else getting the "Coronavirus excuse" for cheap first dates?YASSSS give them time to think REALLLLLLY THINK & REFLECT about what they have done to women. Most women will not meet with their mopey, manipulative asses since a real HVM knows that it's not worth the potential cost of risking another person's life (or people's LIVES in general) to get their dick wet....LOL! They got plenty of time for some teletherapy and being alone to think about their actions | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 11:42 PM |
| 2 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!That's another awesome idea! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 11:35 PM |
| 4 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!Absolutely, it's so important to take care of yourself first and get the support you need to process it when the time is right for you! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 11:35 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!I love the FDS Bookclub Idea! As a survivor, reading a book like this can feel like reliving the experiences. Try to go at your own pace and do whatever you need to take care of you. One of the things I try to keep in mind is that Ludy mentioned in the introduction section that women who confront and openly talk about their abuse to seek support are most likely to never experience a similar experience again because they have learned the earlier indicators of a potentially abusive LVM/NVM so they… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 11:34 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!I have to read in very small increments because it's SOOO thought provoking, honest, shocking, validating and so many emotions as I go through the pages. 1-2 pages takes about 20 mins because I am thinking about each sentence so carefully. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 11:30 PM |
| 6 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!That's a great suggestion! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 06:27 PM |
| 20 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!I'm trying to think of a way to structure it so we can discuss and form connections, but safety is still a concern from me--especially on reddit. Male lurkers have jaded me. MODS: do you have any recommendations here?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 06:03 PM |
| 13 | Anyone else down to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and do a virtual bookclub discussion each week to process the content/discuss? Details here!!!For the first week, I was thinking discussion questions along the lines of: Was the Terminology and Introduction handled well and include context to inform the reader or did it perpetuate any implicit stereotypes about abuse? Why or why note? Was the overview of the subject matter introduced clear to you? If not, what areas do you hope will be elaborated on more extensively in later chapters? What questions do you hope Ludy will answer in this book regarding abuse, mistreatment, and the mentalit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 05:43 PM |
| 7 | Anybody else sad to see their mother being a pick me?Reading this made me think there were some onions nearby my laptop. Your relationship sounds so similar to the one I share with my own mom. It's tough because the glimmer of hope when your mom allows you into her world can be heartbreaking sometimes and it's hard to watch them look at you from afar so happy that you did not choose her path yet feel so devastated she won't take action. My mom will sometimes start contemplating changing her life for the better when I share my successes in support … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 08:46 PM |
| 2 | Have HVM but hung up on LVMThis is something you need to WANT to do for YOURSELF first and be open to therapy as well as investing the time to start becoming more self-reflective. You can have all the accolades, education, success, and validation from others in the world but it will not change the fact that you are missing something within yourself right now that is causing you to choose toxic patterns that are not serving you well. Many lawyer types take pride in their intellect and professional identity as well as minim… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 06:59 PM |
| 32 | How do I trust men againYou begin this process by learning how to trust yourself first and foremost. You owe it to yourself to love yourself the most in this life. Take some time to heal and reflect upon areas of your life that need improvement. Talk to a trusted therapist and gain more self-awareness on the patterns of behavior (or inaction) that is holding you back. Learn about boundaries. Learn that the way to assess a person's integrity and character is their actions when noone is watching them and observe EVERYTHI… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 06:13 PM |
| 15 | Can we talk about Pick Up Artists?I was naive to Pick Up Artists before FDS and went on 1 date with a classic NVM. TW: sexual misconduct, sexual assault/triggering for survivors possibly He asked me for a desert date at a nice restaurant and arrived in an obnoxious purple blazer and some flashy accessories on-top of the blazer (peacocking). He arrived to our first date with matching purple ombre flowers for me and some dark chocolate from an international shop. We had the desert date with typical first date conversation and then… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 05:15 PM |
| 11 | How to deal with Gas LightingBased on what you posted, the impression I am getting is that you realize your boyfriend is a toxic person that is not impacting your life or wellbeing in a positive direction so you are contemplating how to "fix this." I want to affirm that it's really hard to take that first step when you start realizing a person you love is not giving you the same love you extend to them and it's very painful. With this said, do not play yourself by putting another person's needs above your own and I do not s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 04:41 PM |
| 11 | “What do you bring to the table?”If this is one of the first questions a potential male romantic prospect asks you and they find this an appropriate question to "decide" to move forward in "getting to know you"--RUN! At best they are a LVM leech, and at worst they are a NVM. What table are they even referring to? The one that has red flags as a table cloth? LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 04:28 PM |
| 11 | High Value Women threadFun resource to check out HVW historical examples: https://www.womenofthehall.org/?action=viewone&id=8 and shutouts to these historical Queens: Cleopatra 69-30 B.C.: literal last Queen of Egypt and Pharoh at age 17-18. She spoke 9 different languages and was known for being a shrewd politician that helped Egypt become intertwined with the Roman Empire! Pearl S. Buck 1892-1973: The first woman to win a Nobel Prize for Literature on American & Asian culture Ladonna Harris born 1931: Not only is sh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 04:23 PM |
| 42 | This subreddit has me so focused on myself that I don't even feel the need to put myself out there to dating, especially with OLD. Who knew female DATING strategy would help me focus on me.You just articulated why I love FDS so much and how it's impacted my life for the better! So glad we are all here together! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/07/20 02:12 AM |
| 95 | They won’t. This applies to relationships AND dating.And a person who loves and values you in a healthy way will be clear about it so you don't second guess where you stand in their heart too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/20 11:17 PM |
| 2 | I am a high value woman and males and females will honor this. I will set boundaries and enforce them. My kindness will not be taken for weakness! In love and in friendship I am to be respected!This is so inspirational and beautiful to read--thank you for sharing Queen! It's so hard to implement boundaries consistently in my life, so I am saving this to refer to! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/20 08:28 PM |
| 1 | If you are struggling right now, it's okay to take some time to process past behaviors that have hurt you and reframe those challenges in a way that lifts you up. You owe it to yourself to allow your past feelings to shame to bring you the gift of grace to move forward. Here are some tips & supportWhy Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft is a FDS required reading for a reason!!! I love Brene Brown and any of her books encourage self-love, vulnerability, and healing/leveling up Why Men Love Bitches is also a FDS classic reading....and Dr. Jessica Taylor has great content to read online along with her book | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/20 02:20 PM |
| 14 | Pick me queens"If I perpetuate sexism for your benefit, then will you treatment as an equal and pretend I was born a man?" It's like they think this logic will spare them from abuse and mistreatment from men? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 06:31 PM |
| 36 | Best dating strategy that is universal?Mine is "there is a message in the way a person treats you, just listen..." and make sure to always go off actions, not words. If they don't align, they aren't worth my time! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 03:45 PM |
| 55 | I feel so bad for this girl. I hope she finds us.If I had unlimited $$$, I would send every 12 year old girl Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and require they read it every year until they are 18 to deter them from settling or allowing scrotes to trauma bond with them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 03:43 PM |
| 3 | If you are struggling right now, it's okay to take some time to process past behaviors that have hurt you and reframe those challenges in a way that lifts you up. You owe it to yourself to allow your past feelings to shame to bring you the gift of grace to move forward. Here are some tips & supportThank you Queen! In terms of re-framing, I usually start by thinking about the following questions and answering them (self-reflection questions part 1): What do I gain by feeling guilty? Why am I feeling guilty? What is the underlying reason for my guilt? Then I go to these questions to reflect upon (self-reflection questions part 2)... How else can I view the situation I am feeling guilty about? What can I learn from my current experience of guilt? How will this experience change me for the be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 03:32 PM |
| 54 | The true love languageLove is not what people say, love is what people do when no one is watching them | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 02:28 PM |
| 2 | If you are struggling right now, it's okay to take some time to process past behaviors that have hurt you and reframe those challenges in a way that lifts you up. You owe it to yourself to allow your past feelings to shame to bring you the gift of grace to move forward. Here are some tips & supportPutting that on my reading list. TBH I find that narcissism, psychopaths, and sociopaths are like 1 in 14 among the general population (most likely higher because it's a spectrum) which sucks if you are a sensitive soul that is generally empathetic. It's a loss of innocence and feeling shook about how others treat people that needs to continually be processed by me so I can accept the fact that I will never TRULY understand how or why they do that but to put myself first so I am not a casualty | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 01:47 PM |
| 3 | If you are struggling right now, it's okay to take some time to process past behaviors that have hurt you and reframe those challenges in a way that lifts you up. You owe it to yourself to allow your past feelings to shame to bring you the gift of grace to move forward. Here are some tips & supportYou're right, your intentions have always been good so start using those intentions towards yourself first and foremost upon your new path Queen <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/20 11:14 PM |
| 3 | Amen! Anyone else got any similar stories?My abusive POS high school bf told me that I "wouldn't be a good laywer because I am non-confrontational" despite his emotional abuse being the reasons why I never spoke up, but now I am a sassy young professional with 2 graduate degrees that is known for my direct yet compassionate way of leading in my career. Now I am KNOWN for being confrontational and valued for it professionally! The next step is getting there on a personal level because that annoying little neg had me SO INSECURE until I r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/20 06:05 PM |
| 3 | Body issues and HV- Are they incompatibleI find it brave and HV to be self-aware of your areas of personal growth regarding body image issues and are taking the steps that work for you to do what you need to do to feel amazing about yourself. When you start doing that consistently and start believing it every damn second--that's when it translates into dating IMO. Even if you are not who you "strive to be" in this moment or how you dream of, it doesn't mean that you are "less deserving" of having HV people in your support system or "se… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/20 03:21 PM |
| 8 | I’ve set low expectations for my boyfriend from the get go because I’ve mistakenly tried to be the “cool, chill” girlfriend. Now I realise I want more - how do I communicate my higher demands to him?OP u/sadpourtoujours is spot on. It's not impossible, but there's a reason why college relationships tend to disband after graduation. I was a "cool forever girlfriend" all through college and a few years of a low effort engagement--it's hard to set the tone when from day 1 the bar was not there. He would have to WANT to really put in conscious effort and have an incentive to do so. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 02:04 PM |
| 3 | Body issues and HV- Are they incompatibleI am so happy you posted this here because this topic really resonates with me and I hope you know that there is NOTHING wrong with you for who you are in this moment. Hugs. I currently am recovering from some body image issues and a former ED so I wanted to give you my perspective (along with a trigger warning because I will give a detailed explanation starting on the next line...). In my opinion, it's not so much the weight or what you look like but how you are taking care of your health overa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 01:23 AM |
| 54 | Let's support each other's dreams and root for each other's success!The media loves trying to take down Queens so I am not surprised they didn't showcase this moment. She's MARRIED to an OG Reddit founder so you think those sexist scrotes would have some type of loyalty or affinity to support Serena (since they would have nowhere to be anonymously sexist and depraved without reddit) when the media shitstorm called her a "sore loser" and perpetuated some covert racism, but they only care if it's a man that is attacked. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 05:59 PM |
| 64 | Reminder that we can make different choices, support each other, and still raise healthy children! Mommy wars is another form of cultural misogyny that pits women's ambitions against each other. Both are valid and amazing mothers!I hope we can get away from the sexist trope men created between "SAHM" vs "Working Mom" because it's very REAL among all my mom-friends even today, but thankfully they have the awareness now (unlike the 80's-90's era IMO) to be more aware of the power of sisterhood and not pin women against each other. "Mommy shaming" though is still very real in different forms. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 05:55 PM |
| 14 | No NOT Worship the Golden Calf Sis!Where is the bible verse that is like "if she gives birth, he has an obligation to be a supportive, loving, equal partner and love their wife unconditionally for creating another human life as well as NEVER shame them for any bodily changes or challenges that accompany birth. He should be well enough mentally, physically, financially, etc. to provide her post-birth maternal support so she can sleep, heal, and be healthy. He should never shame her for any bodily changes that accompany birth and i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 09:35 PM |
| 9 | A friend suggested FWB. Cut him off?This 100000000X. I had to learn this the hard way too with a "male friend" who did the same shit and it's NEVER worth an additional ounce of your time to explain. They know what they did. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but thank you for sharing and being so honest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 09:08 PM |
| 29 | Look out girls.. I found a rare one! 🤔"I can make money all by myself!" LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 09:02 PM |
| 7 | I might be falling for himSlooooooooooooow down lady and don't mistake male attention/validation through a pre-date texting banter BS as "falling for him". Read the FDS handbook before your date. Observe actions, not words. Take things slow....don't overthink....don't over-discuss hypothetical situations/past shit or questions (they don't mean SHIT because he is still really a stranger to you and it takes time to figure out a person IRL)...have fun and if it doesn't feel good, you don't owe him anything more but your pre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 08:47 PM |
| 20 | Can we talk about how Chip Gaines is a low value male?SAY IT LOUDER! The reason it's hard for me to even watch them together is because he makes the whole show unpleasant for me sans Joanna. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 08:37 PM |
| 5 | This sub saved my life and made me open my eyes to how I was destroying my lifeYou are on your way to Queendom! To attract HVM, you will need to become HV in your life as well and associate yourself with HV people that lift you up, not bring you down. Glad you avoided that dumpster-fire, but also continue to become more aware of who your friends are. Pickme friends can be detrimental in leveling up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 05:15 PM |
| 20 | A friend suggested FWB. Cut him off?You know the answer Queen and I want to affirm that yes, you should absolutely cut them off. He was never really your friend. He wanted an opportunity to have you settle and be his temporary pump and dump girl instead of courting you to show romantic interest which indicates how little he values you as a human being. You don't need to give him an explanation or reason either. If you block and delete after that, you are making it clear that his actions were out of line. Don't waste any more time … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 05:09 PM |
| 7 | KHLOE THE CLOWNKhloronavirus | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 05:05 PM |
| 111 | If he says this it's a red flagTBH that would be not even a red flag for me, that's a block and delete because he is basically covert raping their partners, low-key admitting it to "connect" with another potential candidate for them to continue this behavior, then victim blaming their ex's by perpetuating the "it's not me, she's a dead fish during sex" to manipulate, get sympathy and groom their next victim. HARD PASS | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 09:45 PM |
| 10 | How to distinguish a LVM from a HVM early on?Don't fall into the trap of labeling them as a potentially HVM early on---HV is determined over time with consistency, frequency, effort, and observable actions. Based on your description, signs point to a LVM. He is oversharing and talking about past relationships early on, sharing what he expects you to do to "conform" so you meet his "expectations" and all this rationale to justify his actions in a positive light scream of red flags because he didn't explain the context other than "they are c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 08:24 PM |
| 24 | How to be the HVW on a vacation with a boyfriend?Is his family joining or is it just you two together? I would make a "wishlist" of whatever things strike your fancy nearby and commit to at least 1-2 items on the list per day. Like a walk on the beach, yoga, check out a coffee shop, see a show, get nails done, etc. Obviously you will need to do some couples things and compromising but for every 1 couples thing do at least 2-3 things you feel like doing. For sex, I would have it when it feels right for you and not let "vacation" concept pressur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 08:01 PM |
| 85 | KHLOE THE CLOWNCan she just be true to herself and generate additional cash revenue from appropriating clown culture now? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 07:55 PM |
| 57 | Remember, ladies: you're NEVER justified in divorcing a man - not if you were abused, and not even if you discover you're a lesbian. If you were the perfect wife then you wouldn't have needed to divorce!1!! /sDo NVM not realize that marriage does not mean total obedience, accepting mistreatment, and being forever enslaved to them UNTIL THEY decide they want out? We only owe it to ourselves (or children if we choose to have them) to put ourselves first and foremost. We don't owe anything else to anyone else, no matter the duration of relationship, memories, bloodline, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 07:52 PM |
| 2 | Screening your dating pool for your ideal partner, longterm strategies. What techniques do you use to screen out bad actors and identify good potential matches over the long term when you're not ready to date at the moment you meet them?At the end of the day, what is most important is putting yourself first and doing what is best for you. I hope you know this. You are enough as a human being. Finding a partner is an added benefit if they bring immense value in your life and the benefits substantially outweigh the risks of staying in a relationship dynamic where you are pulling most of the emotional, financial, or other areas of the relationship on your own. FDS is here. Please be kind to yourself and do whatever you need. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 03:57 PM |
| 125 | Her mind is set for sureHe must have been an ultimate NVM or she was the OG Queen Supreme because divorces in the 1940's were heavily frowned upon and the cultural shame/taboo surrounding divorce made it rare a woman would initiate a divorce unless there was a v good reason. Even today women feel such shame "not making it work" that it's a process getting them to cut the cord, myself included. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 10:02 PM |
| 58 | Why men come back... And why you shouldn't take him backToxic is when they can't treat you right but they can't let you go either. Don't seek closure, the best way to get that for yourself is moving on, leveling up, and never giving them the opportunity to get back into your head rent free. You wasted enough time on that loser. You're off on a new, better path Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 08:48 PM |
| 3 | Genital Piercings LVM?I think it truly depends on the woman but as an outsider that does not really know you, those would be the concerns I would vet for before proceeding to feel comfortable continuing to get to know you. I am also aware those are assumptions and biases I have on my end. I know tattoos and piercings are usually 100% safe from a reputable source, but I would also want to verify for blood-borne diseases but I am also extremely health anxious and precautionary. IDK what other women tend to do, but thos… | /r/askFDS | 01/07/20 08:24 PM |
| 105 | A degree is never going to get up and leave you one day, queens.Woman are socialized to "make things work" by pickme role models and individuals experiencing trauma in their support system. Young women are encouraged to play this role of "giver" and it's detrimental and needs to stop... The things I missed out on due to NVM and sexist internalized BS before FDS: Did not accept a job opportunity in my field that pays $20k than what I am making at my current job 2-years post-Masters because my NVM did not like the geographic region we would have to relocate to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 08:01 PM |
| 4 | Narcissist NVM and healing after a breakup 👩⚕️Thank you for sharing your story and how you leveled up. Forgiving yourself and healing is so important for the next chapter. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 07:53 PM |
| 26 | I Did Everything Wrong. LITERALLY. Everything.Maybe you were dating my ex since you found his Tinder? Sounds identical to my NVM that led me to FDS. Glad you are here Queen! Off to bigger and better things! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 07:50 PM |
| 6 | Genital Piercings LVM?I think it's a personal preference but as a woman, I would be concerned about the following: STI/STD transmission: to combat this fear, you could provide a recent STI/STD test before deciding to get sexually intimate with a woman you are interested in to verify sexual safety Also with piercings, another fear would be that you would probably want unprotected sex without condoms. So it would be a hard pass for me UNLESS they got a FULL screening for STI/STDS including HEP/HIV and other blood-borne… | /r/askFDS | 01/07/20 07:30 PM |
| 3 | On why he asked for her instagran instead of her phone numberHe felt it was necessary to spend at least 15 mins of his life crafting a 3 paragraph explanation on why he "dodged a major bullet" when a woman rejected his request to access her social media. Sounds like a real catch, she must have read that explanation and regret not giving him a chance to sexualize her pictures and decide if she's worthy enough to get to know better. Obviously our generation requires social media access to decide if someone is worth the energy to date as a prerequisite. ....… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 07:16 PM |
| 105 | How to Catch Impending “Situationships” Before it’s Too Late.Had the misfortune of almost getting myself into a "Situationship" but my saving grace was: When I did (sadly) have sexual relations with them, I made it clear that I would only have PIV sex, no oral because I refuse to do that unless we are in a committed relationship. No other sex acts outside of making out, touching, and general vanilla PIV sex with a condom and a backup protection of birth control at all times. No dry humping or anything that could expose skin to skin contact. When he tried … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 06:30 PM |
| 108 | How are LVM always this delusional? 😂If someone sends this to her, I hope she has the self-esteem to know that she should immediately dump is fugly ass. He better start eating her makeup so at least his insides look pretty. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 06:18 PM |
| 10 | The Spark: Do you think it exists? If so, what is it?Since finding FDS, I changed my perspective on the concept of chemistry and "the spark." I agree that I do not view it in a sexual context. For me, using "chemistry" as a factor in vetting potential men as HV partners is a little misleading for these reasons: How can you measure "the spark"? It's unable to be operationally defined and varies from person to person so if you can't measure it---there are behaviors that can indicate you FEEL "the spark" (feeling appreciated/connected) but you wouldn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 06:12 PM |
| 11 | Screening your dating pool for your ideal partner, longterm strategies. What techniques do you use to screen out bad actors and identify good potential matches over the long term when you're not ready to date at the moment you meet them?I am sure that's a tough spot to be in with your relationship and you are probably reflecting on this after finding FDS more. I was a FDS lurker in a long term Forever Fiance situation (inexpensive ring and "basically married" for at least 4+ years) before having to assess what would make me happy and putting myself first. It's a process and you have to be honest with who you are, who you want to be, and what you dream/envision for yourself moving forward. You should NEVER settle for less. Reass… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 05:45 PM |
| 30 | Screening your dating pool for your ideal partner, longterm strategies. What techniques do you use to screen out bad actors and identify good potential matches over the long term when you're not ready to date at the moment you meet them?Read the FDS handbook at least 2-4 times fully first. My screening criteria: NO SEX or anything beyond making out/kissing until 3-4 months. Preferably 5-6 months if you can hold out. Use this time to vet their behaviors in different settings (NO home dates until you can verify/do a background check and know them at least 2 months....don't go over their house if you will have sex or cave either) on nonsexual dates. Do not assume you are exclusive/girlfriend until they specifically ask and do not … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 04:42 PM |
| 4 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Tupperware?!?!? Glad you are now committed to the Queen journey after that sexist BS gift lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 12:29 PM |
| 3 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?That's beautiful, he is going to become a HVM one day! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 12:28 PM |
| 1 | Reforming pick me, worried my style will deter HVM?If a man is a HVM and is the right person for you, it's not going to matter how you dress. If your style is truly your own and feels like YOU as a human being, that's how you should rock your attire! You don't need to dress up for anyone else but yourself (social obligations/social settings and culture aside). The right people you want in your life is going to love and value you for WHO YOU ARE and that includes how you dress, even if it's not super fancy. Love is genuine connection and vulnerab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 08:10 PM |
| 7 | Ex-boyfriend shattered the last bit of confidence I had. Now I’m scared to date again.Oh honey, I am so sorry you are feeling so low and feeling like you are undeserving of receiving healthy love in the future. You deserve to be fully loved for the human being you are--from the strengths, awkwardness, past behaviors, mistakes, shame, and areas of personal growth that you bring to this Earth today and always. When you go through trauma, it often impacts how our brain thinks about things and tries to protect us by surviving, but it can also stop us from moving forward because there… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 08:03 PM |
| 10 | First dateIt means he has many issues, is a shitty person, feels entitled to women's bodies, and felt entitled to assault a complete stranger on a first date because you went on 1 DATE with him. That is a toxic and potentially abusive man that will drag you don't. Don't engage. It's not normal to feel it's okay to grab the breast of a woman they just met on a date. That's predatory and/or abusive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 07:46 PM |
| 3 | He ghosted me and I have one questionWhy do you feel compelled for his attention and validation before blocking him? It is not going to change the fact that he choose to ghost you two times and he purposely did this to prove that you do not matter in his life. Putting energy into a person who is demonstrating your existence does not matter by manipulatively ignoring you until he wants something will not lift you up. The best may for him to understand that you give no fucks about him is by blocking him and never reaching out to him … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 07:43 PM |
| 18 | Ladies, we should all leave reddit at the same time and make the news.The ONLY reason I went from a casual lurker to redditor was because of FDS. Can there be a formal plan, deadline, and next steps to make this happen? Joining the discord and whatever else I can find... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 06:45 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?That takes some strength and grit to take that first step. I am so happy you are here now. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 06:41 PM |
| 27 | FINAL FDS TIP: Don't date anyone who is on Reddit.The only benefit I found from that entire platform is FDS (changed my life in so many ways) and now that we have to relocate, it just affirms that anyone who highly endorses this community as their ride or die is a NV person in general. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 06:36 PM |
| 13 | To whomsoever it may concernMaybe they wouldn't feel threatened by feminism if the NV men that demonize feminism by comparing it to "reverse oppression" did not feel a sense of entitlement to our presence, our bodies, our attention, and our silence. If men and women are TRULY equal, why are men threatened when women support each other in expecting equality as a basic human right? Why does women talking and supporting each other without a male presence threatening to them? If they are truly a HV man, they would be supportiv… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 06:30 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?He "gifted" you an outfit he wanted you to wear for his depraved gratification? Glad you took the gift card and GTFO! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 06:21 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I actually searched their website to see if the green turtle earrings existed still but could only find them in silver and gold so I didn't get a proper visual of how it must have looked to be gifted a random pair of green turtle earrings | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 03:50 PM |
| 1 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?He could be gay or he could be so into porn that it's completely skewed his sexuality for the worst. My NVM ex-fiance and I stopped having sex for like the last 1.5 years of our relationship consistently and it pretty much was me finding him on porn Reddit or waking up in the middle of the night at 3am to him masturbating next to me or him wacking it off in my shower every morning/evening. Never again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:16 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Oh sweetheart, I know that's tough--especially when you invested so much time, memories, and feel they are your best friend. But even friends take the time to show they care for their friends in little ways to show appreciation towards their relationship I hope you know that you deserve being valued and appreciated in a romantic relationship. You do not deserve to have your desires, needs, perspectives, and existence invalidated by a person who claims to love you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:13 PM |
| 3 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?WOOOOOOOOW let me guess...for history research? Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?NO OTHER GIFTS? Glad he is your ex-husband sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:10 PM |
| 1 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I am impressed with the "choose your own adventure" idea! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:08 PM |
| 7 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?OMG YOUR HUBBY IS THE REAL MVP! That is such a beautiful gift and so creative! Please tell your little one about that example so they know what they deserve or should do when they are older! Bravo! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:07 PM |
| 3 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Lovers? Hard pass That's a pretentious way of saying that they just pump and dump into a bunch of pickmes and call them "lovers" to make them feel special when they start questioning their self-esteem/self-worth | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:06 PM |
| 3 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Could you imagine the uproar if a woman had the aUdAciTy to rebuttal with: "I wanted to give you a BJ for your birthday, but it's too much effort. My gift was the thought." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:05 PM |
| 6 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?UGH the classic pity low effort gift from a shitty man includes some level of Bath & Body Works candle and a body spray. Def triggered right now! LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:04 PM |
| 4 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?He couldn't just let you think he actually put time/effort into the designer sunglasses either, he had to let you know that you didn't matter enough to actually think and purchase a REAL thoughtful gift for you. What a trash cheap man. I'm happy you are here Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:01 PM |
| 5 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I'll preface this by saying I NEVER used OLD before because I had a bunch of trash LTR with NVM before that I met in person so by the time I was in the OLD phase, I was in my early 30's. I used FB Dating (initially as a joke) to test the waters and found my geographic area tended to be an older crowd of potential men from late 20's until late 40's generally. Luckily I had a few great potential matches, some good matches, a bunch of average ones and a TON of awful first dates with NVM/LVM. I thin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 02:00 PM |
| 3 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?That is beautiful, your fiance is a keeper! Congratulations! This warms my heart, especially since it's so rare to find something like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I was starting to feel a lil bleak after finding so many NVM/LVM examples, but that book one brightened my mood because it's creative, sweet, and took time to make! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:53 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?OOOOOF ultimate NVM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:52 PM |
| 1 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Ewww they can never take accountability for their actions because their ego boo boos won't allow it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:51 PM |
| 1 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I'm curious what model of a vacuum you had because I need a good pet fur one! That's thoughtful and practical! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:50 PM |
| 1 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Don't let manipulation flowers put a dark cloud over ever receiving flowers again from a (seemingly) HV person when the time is right! A NVM gifted me manipulation flowers after assaulting me and it took YEARS to be comfortable receiving any other flowers. As long as they aren't those obnoxious red roses that cost $200 and meant SHIT, I am fine to get flowers now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:49 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?He was just a pornsick LVM that couldn't use his pee pee properly because he can't get off to normal sex. That's totally HIS issue and I hope you moved onto better things since that mess! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:44 PM |
| 4 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?That literally had me reeling just reading it. I'm so sorry that POS thought that would be appropriate to even consider thinking about giving that to another human being. They are disgusting trash. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 01:38 PM |
| 6 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Mentioning Nutshell in a benign text = thoughtful gift? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:05 PM |
| 59 | "men who are 'anti porn' because of the negative side effects for men, are not our allies!!!That's the issue, they can't accept feedback on their entitlement and privilege without misinterpreting it as an act of oppression. 5 minutes of discomfort = oppression. ReVeRsE SeXiSm aMiRiGhT | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:05 PM |
| 13 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Just a singular jar of Nutella? What made him think that was a substantial gift? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:02 PM |
| 5 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Committing to fur babies with allergies is def. some HV stuff right there! Once you go cat, you can't go back :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:00 PM |
| 9 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I mean my NVM cheated on me before, maybe he was also your fiance? LOL | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 09:11 PM |
| 20 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?You deserve to be acknowledged during holidays and your birthday or just for being you! I hope you know that now because it's true! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 09:09 PM |
| 13 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Trust me I was perplexed and completely offended that he thought that was his interpretation of me communicating that my back hurt. TBH I think he was trying to play dumb and low effort to be "funny". | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 09:09 PM |
| 39 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?TBH interacting with males is being yourself but on a limited information diet so you don't overshare and act aloof/mysterious so you have the upperhand. Only give them 1/4 of who you are, even as a boyfriend or spouse. Your girlfriends and female support system have the privilege of knowing the real you but men use shit against you. Even the ones who claim to love you. If I could go back, I would never date until I was 25 and just waste my young brain doing things for ONLY ME. When you work on … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 09:08 PM |
| 13 | The guy didn’t ask me for my phone number after the first date.I am going to sound harsh and I am sorry if it comes across very blunt. If you went on a date with him and he didn't ask for your phone number, he is not as into you as you are into them. If he asks you to go out on another date, he is doing this for an ego stroke to have you as a "backup girl" out of convenience. Keep updating your profile. You do not owe him anything. You do not need to stay only focused on him and if he asks, tell him you are going on dates with other people. He will raise an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 09:03 PM |
| 105 | LMAO COULD NEVERRRRR BE MERather die alone than ever risking being "in sickness and in health" with that circus. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:59 PM |
| 10 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Literally the candle + journal gift combo is a CLASSIC NVM ex-fiance gift before we level up and become Queens! I got that gift Years 3-5 with my NVM ex-fiance. Or bath and body works body sprays and/or a fluffy throw from Walmart with some plain undershirts that were not actually my style at all lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:51 PM |
| 2 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?That sounds very thoughtful and attentive! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:49 PM |
| 16 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?I find gift giving that is good from a romantic partner a green flag, mediocre gift giving a yellow flag, and indifferent/low-effort a red flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:42 PM |
| 4 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Awww that fruit basket idea was very dear!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:41 PM |
| 22 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?The earrings story is so sweet and is a reminder that a HVM will do whatever it takes to make it clear you are loved! The LVM gift literally made me enraged just reading the disparity between your gift vs his. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:40 PM |
| 7 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?The allergy friendly cat sounds like a perfect compromise! That's awesome :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 08:37 PM |
| 223 | "men who are 'anti porn' because of the negative side effects for men, are not our allies!!!At the end of the day, their anti-porn stance is rarely an altruistic one that values women. It's typically for their own benefit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 07:53 PM |
| 18 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Thank you! Now that I know what I deserve, I am not going back to any of those LVM/NVM gifts. It's not about the stuff, just the effort, thought, and intention of giving that makes it a green flag IMO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 07:38 PM |
| 18 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?The postcards sound lovely! The artwork guy did the carrot on the stick fake gift tacit which is SO LVM/NVM of them! The NVM examples made me scream in rage for you! What a smelly turd | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 07:20 PM |
| 11 | A sex trafficker in my area is using YouTube and Instagram to lure women no one cares.I really hope this gets exposed. That is just sick and idk how they can live with themselves knowing they are CHOOSING not to do anything about it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 07:18 PM |
| 14 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?His mom didn't shame his ass for giving you a USED belt as a gift? I would be so embarrassed if I birthed a boy and he grew up thinking that shit was an acceptable gift to give to a woman. It's def. the thought and not the money for a gift. TBH I never had a gift beyond $100 from a guy before but all of the okay/good gift category of gifts included knowing ME as a person fully and taking time to show that they loved me for who I am as a human being. He apologized for my bday flowers because he s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 06:46 PM |
| 25 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?OOOOOF a used belt is next level trash gift...he couldn't even muster the $8 it costs to get one of those trashy BDSM sparkly collars at Spencer's from the mall? I hope you moved on from that dumpster fire man Queen! There are better gifts in your future :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 06:33 PM |
| 10 | Share the most cringy date you’ve been on?Like I am embarrassed looking back because WTF was I even thinking? But it reminds me how important it is to vet a man and to never have sex early on because then they think THAT was totally okay to do | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 06:25 PM |
| 45 | A sex trafficker in my area is using YouTube and Instagram to lure women no one cares.This sent shivers down my spine. Thank you for not giving up and trying to seek justice for these young girls. Can you try any major media outlets like NY Times or do a FBI anonymous tip? IDK how this can continue and noone is holding this sicko accountable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 06:22 PM |
| 26 | HVM behaviour!!This is so wholesome and I love it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 06:12 PM |
| 80 | Let's share the best and worst gifts we have ever received from a man. What discerns a LVM/NVM from a HVM in terms of gift giving?Found them on OLD. I only started seeing success when I followed FDS to a T and vetted hardcore for the first 3-4 months. It really works IMO! Total Queen treatment ever since | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 05:55 PM |
| 28 | Share the most cringy date you’ve been on?When I was a total pickme, I went on an amazing first date and at very expensive speakeasy with a date. It was 1930's themed and they had palate cleansers in between so very impressive. We had good conversation for a few hours and I (mistakenly) had sex with them. Second date was a total nightmare. Strike 1: 2 hours late. But I was a pickme and permitted his excuse of "taking care of his grandmother" despite him not having the common decent to even call or text that he was late. He suggested a r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 05:07 PM |
| 1 | Stay strong.He has a virus that can cause trouble breathing, persistent pain or pressure in the chest, fatigue, and a bunch of other life threatening symptoms and his illness request is a booty pic? When I was a pickmeisha, I found it romantic when my NVM would bring me Gatorade when I had the flu. That's a basic expectation with a pandemic if you are dating at the bare minimum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 04:34 PM |
| 22 | Doing so much better but feelings of inadequacy arising?It's absolutely normal to feel this way and I would encourage you to process these emotions with a trusted therapist so you can continue to increase your self-awareness and healing. When it comes to love, REAL LOVE will not hurt you. A person who does not know how to love you is what hurts you. A healthy, high value masculine man that is emotionally intelligent and self-aware knows that you do not need to "do" anything to prove or validate that you are deserving of love. He will love you for who… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 04:28 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020I made a commitment to wait at least 3-4 months until anything BEYOND a kiss. Although you need to vet any type of man all the time, I found that men that are spiritual and mildly involved in their faith consistently ( but not extremely religious or rigid in their interpretation of their faith by marginalizing others or endorsing hateful beliefs) tend to be more self-aware, have a community of support/relationships to tell me additional "flags", do not watch porn, and are chill about the "no sex… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:40 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020I hope you know you are not alone in feeling this way, especially on weekends. I found taking myself on "date nights" really helps when I am feeling this way. I usually plan a fun day and explore my state or check out a cute shop or go on a walk. I pamper myself by doing my nails/makeup and dressing however TF I want. I bring a book and read in the sunshine. Something like that may be nice and treat yourself like you would want a HVM to treat you. I buy myself flowers once a week when I am feeli… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:26 PM |
| 1 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020Seriously tho, I wanna join! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:24 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020IMO it would depend on the situation and I personally would not let them know/explain myself before blocking because of safety. I don't think an explanation would resonate with a LVM/NVM because they have so many internalized sexist beliefs that they would rather tear down constructive feedback to deflect any accountability on their end to heal their ego boo boo so it's just wasting my valuable Queen energy to do that. I am going to preface this by stating that I have read your posts and insight… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:21 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020First, I want to send you huge internet hugs. It can feel so frustrating, hurtful, and upsetting to see a parental figure behave this way. My mom is also a pickme and it's heartbreaking (and v challenging) to navigate a relationship with her. I empathize with her trauma that manifested itself in self-destructive patterns in her romantic life and personal life, however, I need to accept and grieve that she will never change. I hope you know you are not responsible for their behavior and you can l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:14 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020Thank you for your reply. I def. know I need to accept this, it just hurts to know there is nothing I can really do to have a positive mother-daughter dynamic. I am just hoping I can end this cycle when I decide to be a mother and have it end with me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:02 PM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020I am trying to mentally prepare myself for choosing to be happy and not pick battles when I do a very brief home visit to my parents this weekend. My mom is a raging pickmeisha to my loving (towards me) but LV dad. Last time I was home, she kept trying to shame me for having dating standards, expectations, and boundaries in my relationship. I am trying to not personalize it because I know she is most likely envious/regretful and projecting that insecurity onto me by trying to neg me to conform t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 08:20 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered June 26 2020Don't get me started on the Jenny and Sumit storyline. Sumit is the ultimate NVM and Jenny is an example of how being a forever pickmeisha is detrimental. Jenny gets catfished by Sumit, Sumit initially deceives Jenny to think he is another man online, Sumit lies saying he was initially single (not married) then uses his culture as a way to manipulate/hide he was married from Jenny then uses his culture again to manipulate/justify why he hid his marriage from Jenny, he lied about being a broke lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 08:03 PM |
| 27 | Buying your fiancee a ring like this just because it is the cheapest.....Pretty sure my highschool LVM bf was able to purchase me better jewelry at $7.25 an hour working at McDonalds TBH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 05:47 PM |
| 2 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Such a great point with consent and body autonomy. It's so important to teach, otherwise young girls are more susceptible to being groomed or abused. Now that I am an adult, I ask men to explain their "compliments" that are rooted in sexual harassment to call them out. I wish I learned that at a younger age for sure | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 04:56 PM |
| 89 | Buying your fiancee a ring like this just because it is the cheapest.....If you can 't afford a standard engagement ring, you are not in the right place to be pretending you will be a good spouse in the future. RUN LADIES!!! NVM/LVM for sure! I'm going to guess that if the pickmeisha is disappointed/upset and expresses this to their support system, they will be shamed and encouraged to "be nice to him" for trying until she finds FDS. It's going to take some time as a Placeholder Fiance and having them experience some ultimate LVM shit to have that AHA moment and GTFO… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 04:45 PM |
| 15 | When a woman in a relationship with a man finally snaps...You didn't know what you did now, be kind to yourself. He was ignoring your feelings, needs, and choosing not to hear your communication attempts which sends a message that you do not matter to them. Its manipulative and disgusting behavior. I hope you are healing and in a better place. I'm sure anything is better than that POS. Hugs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 02:53 PM |
| 10 | When a woman in a relationship with a man finally snaps...My educational background was in counseling and I was literally shook from their incompetence. I know couples counseling and family counseling is one of the hardest areas but damn they sucked. You did nothing wrong and therapists don't shame or downplay another party's feelings during a couple's session because that creates triangulation hardcore and damages a theraputic relationship. Luckily for you that triangulation led to leveling up so I am very proud you got the clairty you needed to walk … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 02:51 PM |
| 10 | Don't Dress Like a SlutI had gone on a date with a guy who I was initially in social circles in casual settings, but we were never friends. One of the first things he said on one of our dates was that he "liked that I dressed modestly", proceeding to use that to lead me on thinking he wasn't a total fuckboi, got into my pants, got butt hurt I was dating other people despite him wanting something causal and showing their true colors as a trash man. The fact that he said that he found it attractive that I dressed modest… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 10:56 PM |
| 7 | Let’s talk about waiting for a proposal: aka don’t make the mistakes I didYeah I'd rather be a strong Queen now, it's not worth having another person drag down my spirit and happiness for the sake of a title or conforming to societal expectations for sure! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 10:50 PM |
| 36 | Get professional photos done for YOU to memorialize YOUR beauty - don’t wait for a special event or milestone to happen with someone else!YAS! Thank you for this great idea!!! :) Protip: If you get engagement photos, family photos, wedding photos, etc. ALWAYS get a few of JUST you and you with other people that are not your partner in case you breakup so there are happy memories. I looked fly AF for my engagement photos and my only regret was not getting a few of just me. Now I can only use 3-4 from the entire session by cropping him out but it's well worth it because I had full airbrush makeup and a brand new outfit. I still use … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 09:36 PM |
| 3 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Communication is nothing without comprehension and if your partner is choosing not to hear you, they are sending you a clear message that your needs and feelings do not matter. Breaking up is for winners when you see the red flags for what they are and put yourself first. There is no timeline when it comes to finding the right person and we need to instill this in young adults. Being a HV person will open doors for HV people to come into your life (friendship and otherwise) and that comes with s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 09:24 PM |
| 16 | Let’s talk about waiting for a proposal: aka don’t make the mistakes I didLiterally been there as a Starter Forever GF/Fiance and I know it fucking feels shitty for awhile, but I am so happy you found us! The part that I hate is he not only wasted my time, put me in a dark place for a bit, and manipulated me for years to use the concept of "eventually" marrying as a carrot dangling in front of me, but the fact that when I do eventually find my soulmate--I will ALWAYS have that seed of doubt if it ever happens again because that innocence and unconditional naive trust … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 09:20 PM |
| 7 | OLD and the Fed Up WomanOther end of the spectrum (job interview date with leech man that wants you to be their potential Bob-the-Builder Prostitute Forever GF) includes: "What are your career goals? What is your dream job?" "When would you want to get married and how many kids do you want?" "What do you value most in a partner? What do you look for in a man?" "What kind of love language are you?" "How do you support your partner with their goals?" "What do you bring to the table in the relationship?" "What kind of man… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 08:37 PM |
| 4 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?SOOOOOO TRUE OOOOOOF! ...And there is no reciprocity in love unless you choose yourself first and foremost always. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 08:06 PM |
| 5 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?YAS! That is so true and def. makes one vulnerable if they are not given the tools, education, and support to learn how to do these skills if their family does not teach them. Great points! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 08:05 PM |
| 4 | OLD and the Fed Up WomanIt's either some low effort introduction or them interrogating me like it's a job interview to see how much they can try to take advantage of my gifts, I just take it all with a grain of salt and assume they are all NVM until proven otherwise now lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 08:03 PM |
| 38 | OLD and the Fed Up WomanWhen I used OLD I made some rules/boundaries for myself to weed the trash out: Phrases like "No drama", "let's see where things go", "here for a good time not a long time", "I don't like games" or no subsistence/effort in their bio is an immediate NO Gym pics, shirtless pics, duck face, unkempt bear, or proud self-proclaimed "dad bod" was an immediate NO Hardcore gamer, self-proclaimed techie, "love memes", or only including 1 additional pic of their dog in addition to their picture is an immedi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 05:48 PM |
| 4 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Thank you! I am trying to discern the line in the sand and it's tough to conceptualize right now! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 05:05 PM |
| 11 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?PREECH! We need to change the narrative to be like "giving up is for winners" because it's healthy to know when something is not right for you in a relationship and that you are not obligated to stay for anyone other than yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 05:03 PM |
| 12 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?TBH our brain isn't fully developed until 25 anyways so that's some wise advice. Serial monogamy with toxic LTR are so detrimental to young women and their opportunities, while young men receive all the benefits (typically) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 04:26 PM |
| 7 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Thank you so much for your detailed and thoughtful reply. What is the fine line between toxic and healthy behaviors in a relationship? Idk if it's plausible to make it clear, but those who experience trauma tend to have their "normal-meter" a little off until they are able to process on their own and have more self-awareness so I want to be able to kindly explain where that line exists if there is an opportunity to engage in a conversation if they share relationship concerns. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 04:23 PM |
| 8 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Thank you! FDS has completely inspired me and I would love to eventually develop some type of course or programming for young adults or in the school system that teaches these concepts better because its so important at an early age. I am researching grant opportunities now to see if it can be possible as a long term thing because I see so many young adults, especially ones who are vulnerable with emotional neglect, fall susceptible to toxic relationships. I believe that healthy boundaries and s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 04:10 PM |
| 4 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Absolutely! The boundary thing is key. How does a person learn to tell someone to fuck off when they are emotionally neglected and seek approval? I am trying to be supportive and encouraging to the young people I work with because they have experienced so much shit at an early age, but I don't know how to get them to start thinking or diving deeper on their own to get them to see how toxic this behavior can be long term. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 03:47 PM |
| 3 | What are some FDS teachings you wish our society would teach young adults? What are FDS teachings you wish were role modeled to you growing up? What information do you think should be taught in schools and other settings? If you had to learn them later on, when did that moment "click" for you?Such great points, thank you for sharing! That bolded sentence hit me in a different way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 03:44 PM |
| 1 | DAE have a hard time processing healthy treatment from a romantic partner after experiencing multiple toxic relationships and healing? I know "the hardest relationship is the one with yourself and others after a toxic one" but it def. takes constant re-framing and referring to FDS. Let's discuss !You are so right about having to keep working on the feelings and inner-work. It's been YEARS since some NVM and I constantly have to remind myself that each day I need to take a step to undo the trauma to help who I am today. For me it's like...a culture shock? NVM ex would bottle up "issues" they had with me and would use my vulnerability or past things we fought about against me to deflect on other unhealthy behaviors and a small begin thing would escalate into a huge blowout to the point whe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 12:52 PM |
| 1 | DAE have a hard time processing healthy treatment from a romantic partner after experiencing multiple toxic relationships and healing? I know "the hardest relationship is the one with yourself and others after a toxic one" but it def. takes constant re-framing and referring to FDS. Let's discuss !We need GenX'er Queens to give us the wisdom and life lessons we can try to avoid with the right tools and insight. Thank you for sharing your story and being so real. It's a great reminder to affirm why we need to put ourselves first and model those healthy behaviors to others, otherwise the cycle repeats. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 12:46 PM |
| 4 | DAE have a hard time processing healthy treatment from a romantic partner after experiencing multiple toxic relationships and healing? I know "the hardest relationship is the one with yourself and others after a toxic one" but it def. takes constant re-framing and referring to FDS. Let's discuss !I needed to read this because it resonated with me so hard. I appreciative you taking the time to be vulnerable and share your experience with me, especially the "big picture" we often put on the back-burner which is to put off our own needs thinking it's not the "right time." I am so sorry you had to experience that shit, but it hit me in a way that really helped so know I greatly appreciate you taking this time to share. It's so important to role model these behaviors through action--your kids… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 07:52 PM |
| 3 | DAE have a hard time processing healthy treatment from a romantic partner after experiencing multiple toxic relationships and healing? I know "the hardest relationship is the one with yourself and others after a toxic one" but it def. takes constant re-framing and referring to FDS. Let's discuss !That is really helpful insight. Thank you for your thoughtful reply! Do you tend to use physical space as step #1 in your process and go from there or do you communicate what you need in that moment on a case-by-case basis depending on the situation? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 06:28 PM |
| 5 | I just learned about this Romeo and Juliet law which was put in place to protect young adults. It says it’s lawful for a 16 year old to consent to a 29 year old. Oh as long as he’s under THIRTY everything is fine. So much for protecting our youth.How is that considered Close In Age? IDK about anyone else, but it's VERY clear to me when someone is a minor or even under the age of 25 so I can't imagine this is a "fall in love then realize the age" situation. So sick. And lawmakers will lobby against bills that try to tear this shit down or reform it somehow... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 05:46 PM |
| 11 | Look at this prize! Neck beard and a Pornhub sweatshirt. This was his whole profile. No description. Just his mug and a Pornhub sweatshirt.How dare we have standards! Don't we know if we don't accept their half-ass hookup attempt, we will peak at age 30 and die alone since they are sUcH hIgH qUaLiTy aNd aLl tHe GoOd oNeS wIlL bE tAkEn??? The audacity! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 02:43 PM |
| 29 | She was deceived for years about her fiancé’s weight gain fetish.So he intentionally strung her along for years, gave her a ring, and manipulated her with emotional investment so she feels guilty leaving him when he purposely made himself obese? Why can't that sub just call it out for what it is? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 01:57 PM |
| 7 | This man is balding at 26 yet he’s still full of SCROTACIOUS AUDACITY"Let me pump and dump at my convince and try to gaslight you into thinking we can actually be friends but I literally give you no emotional benefits at all because I'm not really your friend because I am sUcH a CaTcH. If you tell me otherwise, my ego will get a boo boo and I will insult you and say you will die alone because if I don't tell myself this, I will have to accept that I am the one that will end up alone" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 12:07 PM |
| 64 | I present Today’s episode of the importance of marrying someone who loves you.Let me guess his sob story....wife doesn't have sex anymore and/or they have an "open relationship"? It can't possibly be that he is a cheating POS | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 12:03 PM |
| 7 | Update: confronting cheating fianceYou did what you needed to do and that's always enough Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 12:02 PM |
| 21 | I just learned about this Romeo and Juliet law which was put in place to protect young adults. It says it’s lawful for a 16 year old to consent to a 29 year old. Oh as long as he’s under THIRTY everything is fine. So much for protecting our youth.Why is this even labeled Romeo and Juliet protection? Romeo and Juliet only had a 3 year age gap and even that IMO is too much if they are minors. Based on empirical evidence and research, anything beyond a 2 year age gap between intimate partners if they are under the age of 18 increases the risk of any type of abuse and survivors are more likely to engage in multiple toxic relationships if they experience 1 before turning 18. This is basic allowing legal child abuse | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 11:59 AM |
| 7 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeBuilding a sense of community, volunteering, taking care of pets, learning new (low-cost) hobbies, creating a side-hustle on Etsy, learning a trade or taking advantage of an accessible low-cost skill that can translate to a career, taking a free online course offered through various universities for fun, learning about different cultures/history online, finding free pen pals online and writing to them...taking advantage of all the free covid museum tours and other items offered virtually, foster… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 11:45 AM |
| 40 | Look at this prize! Neck beard and a Pornhub sweatshirt. This was his whole profile. No description. Just his mug and a Pornhub sweatshirt.Just screaming NVM by the picture. Anyone who things it's appropriate to endorse that trash site that perpetuates sexual assault and the depraved treatment of minors is literally the worst type of man. But I guess it's better for them to be upfront about their depraved nature on their profile so we can avoid them like covid19. Most LVM/NVM try to pull all the stops to not be exposed so I'll give him that credit to give him a touch of ego stroke since they would get defensive and implode if they … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 11:39 AM |
| 5 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeThis is so beautiful to hear and I am so happy for you! Very inspiring to know what is positive and possible out there when we put ourselves first! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 11:32 AM |
| 3 | I get bored when a man shows actual interestThere is no timeline to heal, each one of us is different in our journey and the fact that you are committed to the process is the most important thing! <3 I have been doing therapy for 4+ years and despite the progress I can witness in my personal life, it's something I "need" each week as a preventative measure for my health now. Instead of focusing on the progress timeline, can you affirm how amazing you are for making the time to focus on leveling up? There are many people who put this off f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 11:29 AM |
| 121 | A man on my social media?! In this economy?!Better yet, just post cute pictures of JUST you without any man until they are consistent and can indicate they are most likely HV (even so, it's impossible to be 1000% sure) I just posted a picture of me with my ex-fiance cropped out because I looked cute AF and my makeup looked fly, no fucks given. He is following me on social media so he obviously saw it lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 09:36 PM |
| 40 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeSeems like "crabs in a bucket" mentality. They gang up because they are projecting their insecurities onto you for having standards and expectations within yourself then feel threatened when you say "no" because they personalize your choice as an attack on themselves because they are envious of your freedom? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 08:39 PM |
| 26 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeThis is golden advice. This is absolute truth. You will regret all the decisions you make on behalf of another person thinking they will give you the same consideration and reciprocity (they rarely if ever do). You will NEVER regret making a decision on behalf of yourself if you truly know in your heart it's the right decision for you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 08:37 PM |
| 14 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeEquifinality: there are different means to the same end result If you want a career, why do you feel like it's not positive and possible to go to grad school? There are plenty of different ways to make it happen without a GRE requirement or different ways to approach a career if you are more of a hand-on learner. There are plenty of career paths that do not require additional higher education and provide on-the-job training. There is no timeline. There are plenty of people who start new careers … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 07:28 PM |
| 17 | I get bored when a man shows actual interestThank you stranger! I highly recommend Running on Empty: Overcoming Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. It's a self-help book that is unrelated to FDS, but will help if you resonate with what I just said and it will translate into other areas of your life (including dating, boundaries, self-love, etc.). It has changed my life for the better! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 07:21 PM |
| 77 | I get bored when a man shows actual interestI used to be attracted to men that breadcrummbed me and I had to "win" their validation. I was told this was "chemistry" by pickmeishas and poor relationship role models but after the continuous cycle of heartbreak continued, I realized something within me needed to change. I did therapy for awhile. What I learned was that I was recovering from emotional neglect in my upbringing so I was seeking validation from people who mirrored my upbringing and did not have healthy emotional intelligence bec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 06:29 PM |
| 49 | Humble men of MatchCould you imagine how poorly a woman would be treated if they had even 1/6 of the amount of arrogance and narcissism that he showcased in his profile? The hint of negging in his profile added a nice touch of fire engine red flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 06:17 PM |
| 34 | For those who’s past ways bring them feelings of shame: ❤️Dr. Jessica Taylor is the ultimate Queen supreme!!! It's never too late to process your past trauma and give yourself grace instead of shame for not knowing what you know now. You can choose who you strive to be each and every day by taking one small step forward. Progress is still progress, no matter how small of a step it may seem in the moment. Do what you need to for you to become your best self each day. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 05:59 PM |
| 5 | No matter how much chemistry you appear to have over the phone do not be fooledPREACH! Don't fall for the texting trap...it is low effort and gives us a false sense of intimacy right now. Time and non-sexual dates are the best indicator over time to truly assess behavior. Words are just empty promises until it becomes tangible action. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 05:56 PM |
| 16 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeSpot on analysis for sure, thank you! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 05:05 PM |
| 10 | Why do I crave sex if I mostly had bad, though consensual, experiences with it?IMO I thought I was "asexual" after being in a toxic relationship for a few years. What I found was that: a) I was in a bad place emotionally/psychologically at the time and needed to do some inner work to resolve those feelings so I could connect on a sexual level again. With therapy (and losing the shitty NVM), my sex drive increased b) It's normal to crave sex. Sex is not limited to PIV or with another person. Sex is what you make of it. Try getting to explore yourself first. c) It's okay to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 04:54 PM |
| 35 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeLet the trash take themselves out as you level up, the right people will stay in your corner because they hold themselves to similar standards. TBH if I want to "settle down" and there are no HV men, I'm just going to foster or adopt. We shouldn't feel pressured or compelled to compromise our personal values, boundaries and integrity to feel like we can "have it all" with a LVM. We CAN have it all without them if we create the foundation within ourselves to live the life we always imagined for o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 04:44 PM |
| 50 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeAlso, why do they feel entitled to plan your life for you? I'm sorry you had to deal with that nonsense. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 04:42 PM |
| 61 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeOr when they try to argue about the "benefits" of marriage to get you to cave (ie: 2 incomes vs 1 income to rAiSe tHe BaBiEs aNd A fAtHeR) to shame you for wanting to be selective in finding an equal partner because they are insecure about the choices they made and want to project it onto us? I'd rather get IVF or adopt a baby on my own than a LVM leech that picks and chooses being a parent/spouse if I wanted to have a family but wHaT dO i KnOw | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 04:40 PM |
| 384 | Imagine: it’s YOUR lifeThe biggest mistake we can make as Queens is the limiting belief that we need to adhere to an arbitrary timeline to find a mate. 1) You don't "need" anyone but yourself. 2) There are HVM in all stages of life so stop focusing on how or when it will happen, just live your best life and it will come into fruition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 03:34 PM |
| 17 | Can a very short man be a HVM?Just as LV men (redpillers, scrotes, etc.) like to joke that women who are over 30 will have their eggs shrivel up and die if they don't lower their dating standards, FDS jokes that short men like to think they have standards when they project their insecurities/LV behavior onto a woman they just met. IMO I'd rather date a man that is short that is HV than a tall LVM. With this said, simply focusing on height as a primary indicator of being HV vs. LV is missing the point. FDS also points out hei… | /r/askFDS | 23/06/20 03:30 PM |
| 4 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!Since finding FDS, I am not as open with taking the lead. I will tell them my boundaries of what I am comfortable and okay with, but I do not initiate any "sex talk" unless he explicitly brings it up first. The 3 month rule has worked for me because anticipation, trust, and an emotional intimacy that leads to sex creates a solid, satisfying foundation. Since we are able to connection on a deep spiritual level before sex, he can sense when he is not pleasing me and I do not need to explicitly tel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 02:14 PM |
| 14 | My girlfriend grew up poor and she feels guilty when I spend money on her [M28 F27]Do you see a future with her and want her to be your wife long term? If yes, I would frame it as you "value how she makes you feel heard, loved for who you are, and you love seeing her face light up when you can show her how you feel by planning fun dates, etc." I would recommend letting her know this is how you try to convey that you love her--you want her to feel safe, valued, secure, respected, and loved. You are doing this because part of love is giving love to the people you care about. You… | /r/askFDS | 22/06/20 07:27 PM |
| 5 | An epiphany I just had 🤔There is never going to be a "right" moment to leave because even if you know it's not in your best interest, you will still love the person you spent time with and it will be hard. With this said, you do not owe anyone anything other than yourself. If it's not right, you do not need to feel obligated to wait for their potential because potential is just an empty promise without action. It's okay to do what is best for you. FDS is here to support you. Do what feels right and will lead you to you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 07:20 PM |
| 14 | I’ve made a comprehensive and exhaustive list of the most common misconceptions about sexual consent. Use this as a resource to destroy incel’s arguments!Can this be included on the FDS handbook or some type of guide on this sub? This is pure gold. Thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 07:07 PM |
| 28 | Should I unmatch this one?They are trying to manipulate into smiling for them and negging you during your first conversations with OLD. Why continue talking to them? There are plenty of other options to talk to that won't do that on day 1-4. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/20 06:47 PM |
| 54 | After five years together and no ring, I broke up with him and got myself my own diamond!You are an inspiration and I LOVE your ring! You deserve it all Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 02:55 AM |
| 8 | How to stop being needy and detach emotionally from menQueen Supreme Post! Thank you 1000000000X for this! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 12:53 AM |
| 0 | Should I tell her?The fact that you had to ask here gives me the impression that you were not going to tell her or feel like you shouldn't. Why do you want to protect a "good guy" who mistreats a friend? He is most likely being a "good guy" to you because he is a cheating POS and wants to have a chance with you too. I guarantee even if you are "mutually" friends with both of them, he is a "good guy" because he is a scumbag that sexualizes his female friends and isn't really your friend. You see how depraved he is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/20 10:40 PM |
| 2 | I want to become a better womanWelcome future Queen!!! We are so happy you found us! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/20 07:04 PM |
| 7 | I want to become a better womanOuch. That is really tough, especially when you are in a low place, but I am so proud of you for taking the first step to recognize that you are engaging in seeking male validation in a way that is unhealthy and does not serve you well. It's a vulnerable place to be in the moment, but you realize that you need to love yourself and make a change. That's a huge first step! Now I am going to say some hard things that I think you may already know deep down: Block your ex. It's not healthy for you to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/06/20 06:17 PM |
| 15 | Please let’s help her. I don’t know what to do. Please help.It's been almost 10 years for me since I had an awful experience with a NVM and it took about 7 of them to undo all the tricks my brain was telling me to romanticize other areas of the relationship and the good stuff. Sometimes I still have to tell myself that they are a POS and knew what they were doing to hurt me but didn't care. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/20 06:03 PM |
| 2 | Re-frame how you think of being alone and ponder why it's seen in a negative way. Loneliness is not a lack of company, loneliness is feeling a lack of purpose. Loneliness has nothing to do with what people bring to you or being by yourself, but it's your soul telling you something needs changedu/Amethyst_Lovegood Sending you big internet hugs because I can imagine right now it's really tough feeling alone, especially when you have free time to focus on being alone. I had to restart my life and relocate, so I know how tough it can be to not have a support system. It can be isolating and put you in a bad place sometimes. What helped me was trying to explore my local community, check out cool towns/cities nearby, and volunteered to help others. At one point, I volunteered as a hospice re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/20 05:56 PM |
| 2 | Re-frame how you think of being alone and ponder why it's seen in a negative way. Loneliness is not a lack of company, loneliness is feeling a lack of purpose. Loneliness has nothing to do with what people bring to you or being by yourself, but it's your soul telling you something needs changedThe feeling will start to go away when you fall in love with the little things in live that will change who you are. It's not who you can fall in love with or how is in your life that will bring you that. The things that will bring your soul purpose are the small habits that bring you joy. How you spend your mornings. How you talk to yourself. What you read and watch. Who you choose to share your presence and energy with. Who has access to you. The opinions you choose to accept from people in yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/20 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Re-frame how you think of being alone and ponder why it's seen in a negative way. Loneliness is not a lack of company, loneliness is feeling a lack of purpose. Loneliness has nothing to do with what people bring to you or being by yourself, but it's your soul telling you something needs changedThe quote was in the spirit but not sure the source was. Most people consider him a saint now that he passed away, romanticize his roles, and don't actually see him for what they had done outside of their movie roles as well as have a hard time separating him as a person vs. their movie roles. Entirely possible that they are a LVM at best. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/20 03:37 PM |
| 19 | It does get lonely, but being with a bad partner is far worse than lonely.Being deprived of a healthy love where one feels respected, heard, valued, safe, supported, and appreciated for your whole human essence by a partner will suck the radiance of your spirit that makes you whole. Having a NVM/LVM to feel less lonely may give you validation that you have the physical presence of a partner, but the painful absence you will feel inside psychologically/emotionally will exceed any feelings of loneliness you would encounter being single and at peace. It's better to find … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:51 PM |
| 20 | So true! Women shouldn't beat themselves up for trying to see the best in people, but we can't be naive either. LVM will use your good nature against you, if you let them. Remember, you can be a good person with a kind heart and still tell people that are bad for you to f*ck off.This is a quote to live by to grow. Go off the actions, not the opportunity to have a "project" as a partner. They are who they are in this moment and words are empty promises without action. Bojack is literally a reincarnation of my NVM ex and it's frustrating when fans try to justify his character as relatable/developmental IMO. Wanda is a true Queen for standing firm when she realized how depraved he was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:42 PM |
| 130 | More of this please! LVM thrive off women competing with other women and tearing each other down.Our society perpetuates this because it keeps the LVM in power. They do not want us to support one another and will do whatever they can to try to silence us because it allows them to keep their power over us. They try to silence us by getting us to fear-monger women being friends with each other because we are "so dramatic" but in my experience, the women who believed this were groomed by LVM/NVM so they continue to validate the male ego and be their informant. All women I have met that are hea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:37 PM |
| 11 | HVM shitYes, IMO they should be v cautious and proceed with caution. TW: abuse statistics/tactics and sexual assault Single mothers, young children, and individuals with intellectual/developmental disabilities are populations that are vulnerable to grooming for exploitation and abuse. Minors with intellectual and developmental disabilities are estimated to be 3 times more likely to be abused than their peers and up to 5 times more likely to be sexually abused before the age of 18. Keep in mind the "typi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 03:29 PM |
| 6 | The second they question your boundaries, standards, value, expectations, and start decreasing their effort TRUST their actions. There is a message in the way someone treats you, just listen. Life is too short to waste on LVM that feel emasculated by your radiant spirit! Take your dignity and go!When you are processing LVM treatment after a breakup, it can be hard to not get into the blame game and assess every aspect of the relationship to see what went wrong or how you allowed others to treat you when you did prioritize loving yourself FIRST and FOREMOST. That's your mind dealing with emotions and processing things you may never have an answer too. Please be kind to yourself because you matter and you didn't know what you knew now. Healing is a process that takes time, accountability,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 09:34 PM |
| 2 | The second they question your boundaries, standards, value, expectations, and start decreasing their effort TRUST their actions. There is a message in the way someone treats you, just listen. Life is too short to waste on LVM that feel emasculated by your radiant spirit! Take your dignity and go!It absolutely is and I hate that it's written by a man. None of us need a man at all, but I like the sentiment that we should GTFO and keep our options open with Queen energy. It's for the FDS lurkers, FDS fencesitters, and recovering pickmeisha out there (myself included) that need to stop personalizing a LVM treatment before we had enough and to be strong enough to leave. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 09:28 PM |
| 5 | The second they question your boundaries, standards, value, expectations, and start decreasing their effort TRUST their actions. There is a message in the way someone treats you, just listen. Life is too short to waste on LVM that feel emasculated by your radiant spirit! Take your dignity and go!IKR he loves to mansplain that it's okay to have expectations but only if we NEED them because otherwise that would be a crime | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 09:24 PM |
| 26 | I chose to leave todayYou are a badass QUEEN and I am so proud of you for taking that next step! It's never too late to start over. Nothing is more painful than to continue to feel underappreciated, devalued, and being take advantage of by a person who claims to love you. Starting over may feel scary, new, and uncertain but all great inner work stems from new experiences, developing connections with others, and being true to who you were meant to be. Keep on keeping on Queen! You are amazing and an inspiration!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 04:52 PM |
| 58 | Nothing will change his mind if he’s decided he doesn’t want you.Finding it hard to believe there is a woman out there that would read this and feel compelled to engage with his shriveled racist micro pee pee at all, let alone for centuries but I guess I better lOwEr mUh StAnDaRdS sOoN because after 31 mY eGgS aNd yOuTh wIlL bE gOnE aNd aLl tHe GoOd oNeS wIlL bE taKeN | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 02:40 PM |
| 5 | Online but won’t respond?Flairs Your energy and time on this Earth is limited. Don't spend time prioritizing a person who only sees you as an option. Men will not take action if it is something they do not want to do. He knows that women like verbal communication and explanations in a relationship, but it does not mean what he is saying is what he is actually feeling because if he was TRULY feeling that way, he would let you know without you having to confront him. It's not your job to confront him for not texting you. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 02:30 PM |
| 5 | Placeholder vs DreamgirlYes, been there done that too. Also: even if he proposes to you, if you are a Placeholder it's a shut up engagement ring because they are being pressured by their social circle to do so, not because they actually want to marry you. It's usually because you are together for 2+ years so they feel obligated to do so as a formality and running through the motions of not appearing like the leech LV loser he secretly is. The engagement ring will not be your dream ring if you are a Placeholder--it will… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 02:18 PM |
| 1 | "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink" - Women are fed up from having to "nag" men to do the bare minimum. She shouldn't have to tell you something needs to be done. You're an adult - Just do it!"She divorced me because I did not act like a grownass adult" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/06/20 02:15 AM |
| 56 | Placeholder vs DreamgirlPlaceholder would be 50/50 dates, dating for a long duration of time (2+ years is RED FLAG) if you are both exclusively boyfriend/girlfriend, and if you are a successful well-rounded woman with their shit together or what you bring to them looks really good on paper (in terms of qualities, looks, accomplishments, manners, etc.) to showcase to their family but not actually marry you. If you are a go-getter person that makes things happen and are successful, IMO you are at risk to be a placeholder… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 10:45 PM |
| 7 | Yes!!! What goals are you working towards and are proud of? Let me know below!Thank you!!! I also grew up in a small town and realized that you attract what you believe so I got out, never looking back. You are going to too Queen! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 10:01 PM |
| 5 | This was his opening message. What did he think he would achieve?Now that they were forced to go without secks and experience covid oppression, their pee pee is going to make them start sending depraved pics to us soon | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 09:57 PM |
| 7 | My first FDS post and recognizing my pickmeisha waysFellow ADHD Queen here! I also hyper-focused and spent 1-2 days reading all the FDS readings when I first started! My challenges were related to consistency, rejection sensitivity, oversharing, and the emotional regulation/disconnection that can make it hard to navigate the dating process. What I am doing for consistency with FDS is committing to reading it a half hour before work or reviewing different posts when I scroll in the loo so I am consistent with applying the teachings in my personal … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 09:54 PM |
| 14 | Yes!!! What goals are you working towards and are proud of? Let me know below!All you beautiful Queens have so many great accomplishments and I am SO PROUD OF YOU ALL! 2 years post-Masters and I am looking into doctorate programs. Also considering an international move on a whim as a backup because why TF not?!?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 09:49 PM |
| 32 | This was his opening message. What did he think he would achieve?How much longer do you think it will be until he sends you a pic of his pee pee or an eggplant emoji? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 09:47 PM |
| 17 | Online but won’t respond?It's tough to have the self-awareness to instinctively know a person you were emotionally investing your time with is not reciprocating the same emotional investment you are with them. It hurts and it can feel shitty for sure. It can feel like you "did something wrong" or it can feel like you want to reach out more because you sense them pulling away. Those feelings are valid and completely okay to feel, but take some time to reflect on their actions to be able to fully assess the situation with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 09:43 PM |
| 6 | Seeing more and more tweets like this, gives me hope!Being vulnerable with like-minded women or a trusted therapist is one thing, but defiantly good points on why we need to be mindful of when we choose to be vulnerable with a man. Using our vulnerability against us is one of the biggest betrayals we can endure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 09:21 PM |
| 6 | Honest question romantically I'm a TOTAL disaster Im angered and sad bc I CRAVE love ('people" always laugh at this) I'm average; 5'10 height, income weight... often lonely started searching info why, found the "redpill" then "MGTOW", is a HVM an extremely "hot" tall man with very good finances?Focusing on yourself and allowing yourself to be in a place where you can be authentically vulnerable with others (non-romantic and otherwise) is a great starting point to begin a solid foundation for leveling up. The gym sounds like a positive outlet to work through what you are feeling. And it's completely natural to crave human touch! It could be an opportunity to get a furry friend to hug at night or volunteer your time helping older adults (they love hugs and old ladies love giving men dati… | /r/askFDS | 16/06/20 07:38 PM |
| 11 | Honest question romantically I'm a TOTAL disaster Im angered and sad bc I CRAVE love ('people" always laugh at this) I'm average; 5'10 height, income weight... often lonely started searching info why, found the "redpill" then "MGTOW", is a HVM an extremely "hot" tall man with very good finances?It sounds like you are frustrated that women are not chasing you or wanting a romantic relationship with you. Based on my experience, I will give you feedback based on what I am reading: You are never going to know why a person will reject you. Rejection sucks and hurts a person's ego. Myself included. It is a natural part of the human experience. Even if a person verbally communicates a rationale of why they rejected you, you will never TRULY know why they did not reciprocate. The only thing yo… | /r/askFDS | 16/06/20 04:10 PM |
| 27 | Seeing more and more tweets like this, gives me hope!Yes. 100% Yes. With this said, I guarantee even a HVM version of emotional support would be comparable to a self-aware LVW in the process of leveling up. As women, we are pressured and socialized to do this without pay or reciprocity. Yes they should def. provide emotional support because treating another human being with dignity and worth by valuing what they bring to your personal relationship and honoring their truth is a basic expectation. I also caution women to discern when it's appropriat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 02:27 PM |
| 9 | Instead of allowing Disney to demonize strong, independent women to be portrayed as villains, can we just agree we need to stop the narrative of "keeping sweet", "being complacent" and "having faith" to remain a "pure princess" trope when others mistreat us?When a woman realizes her value, her aurora of confidence and power makes her MAGICAL! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 12:41 PM |
| 3 | Instead of allowing Disney to demonize strong, independent women to be portrayed as villains, can we just agree we need to stop the narrative of "keeping sweet", "being complacent" and "having faith" to remain a "pure princess" trope when others mistreat us?Especially the live action one that alludes to sexual assault symbolically. I remember it hitting me in theaters so hard when she lost her wings. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 12:40 PM |
| 6 | Instead of allowing Disney to demonize strong, independent women to be portrayed as villains, can we just agree we need to stop the narrative of "keeping sweet", "being complacent" and "having faith" to remain a "pure princess" trope when others mistreat us?Great points and insight for me to be a better informed human. Thank you stranger! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 12:37 PM |
| 43 | Instead of allowing Disney to demonize strong, independent women to be portrayed as villains, can we just agree we need to stop the narrative of "keeping sweet", "being complacent" and "having faith" to remain a "pure princess" trope when others mistreat us?Its been YEARS since I watched it but now I'm curious to hate-watch it and apply FDS to it all. *evil laugh* | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 06:39 PM |
| 269 | Instead of allowing Disney to demonize strong, independent women to be portrayed as villains, can we just agree we need to stop the narrative of "keeping sweet", "being complacent" and "having faith" to remain a "pure princess" trope when others mistreat us?All the villains were "villains" for basically being fed up with being mistreated by others and not having the emotional intelligence to not take it out on other people (with a few Disney exceptions obviously). Disney animated Maleficent was a villain because she was upset and needed validation after LVM King failed to invite the evilest fairy of the entire kingdom to the huge party following his daughter's birth but his ego couldn't handle raising his spawn knowing she would pass away at 16 so … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 06:37 PM |
| 6 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?"Disrespect means dip" is now going to be a FDS catchphrase I will use from here on out. All great reminders/points!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/06/20 01:03 PM |
| 10 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?This 100000% is absolute truth. It puts you at risk too if they are a covert narcissist or another type of NVM | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 06:44 PM |
| 3 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?Absolutely truth right there | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 06:42 PM |
| 6 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?Men get butthurt when women date multiple people because they expect us to be monogamous to them while they date other people? I never got that but I am never backing down anymore lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 06:41 PM |
| 3 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?The free therapy sessions we would provide would cost more than the date he is paying for anyways lol | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 06:40 PM |
| 5 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?Valid points of why there has to be a compelling reason for us to even entertain them | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 06:36 PM |
| 11 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?Great insight, thank you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 10:47 PM |
| 92 | What FDS lesson was hard to "unsee" now that FDS made you aware of it?Def notice that men put one another on pedestals and women make the mistake doing the same for them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 10:47 PM |
| 36 | I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna make a “dark joke”When it's another one of them gone, they lose their minds. But if it's women, they feel entitled to joke about it because they have thought about doing those things to other women and laugh knowing it's wrong, but find it funny because they CAN do it if they really wanted to and have had those thoughts before. Depraved | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 08:33 PM |
| 27 | What are some pills you've swallowed about dating?Know your role and act accordingly. If he is a romantic prospect, treat him like a romantic prospect by getting to know him more (non-sexuallly) but don't act like a girlfriend if you are just a date or going on dates. Don't act like a girlfriend if you are a FWB. Don't act like a wife if you are a long term girlfriend. Make the differentiation of the role clear and do not give them full access to your emotional investment, body, and gifts to men that are not invested in you. These benefits are … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 07:32 PM |
| 7 | What non-FDS literature, research, strategies, wisdom, etc. did you find helpful in leveling up and applying FDS principles?Thank you for your response. I read some articles on childhood emotional neglect and Jonice Webb ("Running on Empty" book). I would be curious to find out some more specific implications as it relates to developing healthy relationships in adulthood and strategies to overcome those challenges. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 04:08 PM |
| 32 | Lesson learnt.The second they start shaming you for standards, boundaries, and questioning you for expecting basic human decency within your relationship TRUST that it's a TOXIC dynamic and do no second guess your gut. They are getting insecure and projecting that onto you because they know YOU DESERVE BETTER but they will NEG you so you personalize their TOXIC SHITTY TREATMENT to downplay their behavior and avoid accountability until they decide to do it to another women that does not hurt their LV/NV ego. B… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/20 03:15 PM |
| 3 | Friends with twins and witnessed the contrast between LVM/HVM when they started a family. The difference between HVM and LVM during the "starting a family" phase is telling. Also: a HVM can be HV without having money, they just need to be generous with their time, effort, and heart.Yup Twin B's trashman can buy a new truck and smoke every week, but it's a "demand" for him to do nice things for her, rub her back, or even have the basic decency to not smoke near her while she's carrying his child. It's a shame to see the twins distance, but I totally get why Twin A is doing it. Twin A's KIDS can even sense Twin B's partner is a total loser and kids have no filter so it's really funny to see their bunt observations. "Uncle LVM is acting like a baby, daddy does this for mommy … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 02:24 PM |
| 6 | Friends with twins and witnessed the contrast between LVM/HVM when they started a family. The difference between HVM and LVM during the "starting a family" phase is telling. Also: a HVM can be HV without having money, they just need to be generous with their time, effort, and heart.You and I both have the same thoughts. I think Twin B sees this as a competition between Twin A and is so focused on keeping up that she doesn't realize the danger she's putting herself in by starting a family with this guy TBH | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/20 12:58 PM |
| 21 | Friends with twins and witnessed the contrast between LVM/HVM when they started a family. The difference between HVM and LVM during the "starting a family" phase is telling. Also: a HVM can be HV without having money, they just need to be generous with their time, effort, and heart.Isn't it odd how LVM gaslight women into projecting their man's LV behavior by putting other women down? Twin B says things like "of course Twin A's husband does XZY, she's always been particular..." or "Twin A calls all the shots, that's why HVM does XYZ." It's like she can't consider for a minute that it's 1) possible for her to have the same treatment in a romantic relationship if she wanted to lose the LVM 2) there are HVM that do things out of love and won't have to be nagged to do basic th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 08:59 PM |
| 53 | Friends with twins and witnessed the contrast between LVM/HVM when they started a family. The difference between HVM and LVM during the "starting a family" phase is telling. Also: a HVM can be HV without having money, they just need to be generous with their time, effort, and heart.Hoping Twin B realizes how NOT OKAY it is to be treated this way. Twin A was told all the former pickmeisha lies growing up that Twin B was told, but knew that at the end of a day a HVM does not need money, prestige, or a fancy job title to be a HVM. When Twin A and HVM first started out, they were SUPER POOR but he found ways to be creative, thoughtful, and romantic. He did odd jobs and found ways to provide because he WANTED to be a HVM and good father. When he worked 16 hours a day, he would … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 07:21 PM |
| 4 | Me vs MeOr Me vs. LV Family Members/Friends The sad reality of discovering FDS is having to find out who isn't TRULY in my tribe of support because of the internalized sexism, but I'm happier now that I know where they stand in the sandbox | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 05:03 PM |
| 4 | He’s never going to change for you- The mentality of the LVMSaved, thank you for posting <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 05:01 PM |
| 4 | Some lessons learned from my recovering pickmeisha stay-at-home mom BFF and her traumatic birthing experience with a LVM/NVM. If you are a lurker and on the fence fully committing to the FDS philosophy, HEAR what it FEELS like to have a LVM as a spouse when you almost die bearing his SEEDI'm extremely cautious telling any more than what I already included in the post for their safety. There are plenty of FDS horror stories with LVM LURKERS and other stuff that I wish didn't exist but are there to threaten our safety as women so I am taking no chances. It's a damn shame that's the world we are in right now. I think the worst part is trying to play house and appease the NVM in this situation because their behavior is still soul sucking and emotionally abusive, but any indication o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:58 PM |
| 6 | Dating seemingly HV man so far but trying to discern if I'm valid in my sexual frustrations or if I was conditioned by LVM I dated before to get sexual validation from men and have a skewed sense of expectations. Want to stay in-tuned with FDS philosophy and be held accountableI needed to hear this. Thank you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:50 PM |
| 2 | Dating seemingly HV man so far but trying to discern if I'm valid in my sexual frustrations or if I was conditioned by LVM I dated before to get sexual validation from men and have a skewed sense of expectations. Want to stay in-tuned with FDS philosophy and be held accountableI think if you found a partner who you felt tried to make you cum, you’d be happy to focus on their pleasure sometimes. --> I think you are SPOT ON with why I am feeling frustrated and reached out to begin with. This is the reason why I am concerned right now and want to see if it's worth the investment. He is seemingly HV in behavior outside of sex but the sex can foreshadow other issues down the road too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:49 PM |
| 1 | Dating seemingly HV man so far but trying to discern if I'm valid in my sexual frustrations or if I was conditioned by LVM I dated before to get sexual validation from men and have a skewed sense of expectations. Want to stay in-tuned with FDS philosophy and be held accountableThanks for the suggestion of reminding him (positive reinforcement?) that when he pleases me, it makes me feel good so he keeps doing it. I have not had sex with him the last 2 nights because he was putting little effort into initiating, it was super late at night so we both were visibly tired, and it felt like I was taking advantage of a really tired man which was a HUGE no go for me. He asked me why and I told him it didn't feel sexy to me to not have us be engaged, alert, and excited to pleas… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:48 PM |
| 2 | Dating seemingly HV man so far but trying to discern if I'm valid in my sexual frustrations or if I was conditioned by LVM I dated before to get sexual validation from men and have a skewed sense of expectations. Want to stay in-tuned with FDS philosophy and be held accountableI do think the porn industry perpetuates this a lot. He doesn't watch porn now, but did a few years ago so I can def. see that coming out subconsciously. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating seemingly HV man so far but trying to discern if I'm valid in my sexual frustrations or if I was conditioned by LVM I dated before to get sexual validation from men and have a skewed sense of expectations. Want to stay in-tuned with FDS philosophy and be held accountableThanks for sending and I love that suggestion haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/06/20 12:44 PM |
| 1 | Some lessons learned from my recovering pickmeisha stay-at-home mom BFF and her traumatic birthing experience with a LVM/NVM. If you are a lurker and on the fence fully committing to the FDS philosophy, HEAR what it FEELS like to have a LVM as a spouse when you almost die bearing his SEEDYeah we are hoping they can come live near me soon once it's the "right" time and the divorce has settled. She wants her daughter not to be given the same sexist brainwashing she had as a kid | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 11:36 PM |
| 1 | Some lessons learned from my recovering pickmeisha stay-at-home mom BFF and her traumatic birthing experience with a LVM/NVM. If you are a lurker and on the fence fully committing to the FDS philosophy, HEAR what it FEELS like to have a LVM as a spouse when you almost die bearing his SEEDOuch, big internet hugs. When she shared her vacation with me, I was starting to cry as she was crying telling me because I can't fathom how that must have felt being pregnant, uncomfortable, out of place, dismissed, disrespected, and allowing the person who claims they love me be complicit in my emotional abuse from their family would be hard to process at that moment. It's just heartbreaking these stories are the norm, gotta stay vigilant | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 11:22 PM |
| 1 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureYeah, but now that you realize the pattern you are not going to waste any longer fueling those types relationships and using your time for your growth! That's a huge step | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 11:19 PM |
| 6 | Some lessons learned from my recovering pickmeisha stay-at-home mom BFF and her traumatic birthing experience with a LVM/NVM. If you are a lurker and on the fence fully committing to the FDS philosophy, HEAR what it FEELS like to have a LVM as a spouse when you almost die bearing his SEEDIt taught me to just go off the actions of a person but NEVER assume their intentions to misinterpret their integrity | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 03:58 PM |
| 1 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureYou turning a new leaf and making yourself the #1 person you are looking out for now :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 03:56 PM |
| 2 | Some lessons learned from my recovering pickmeisha stay-at-home mom BFF and her traumatic birthing experience with a LVM/NVM. If you are a lurker and on the fence fully committing to the FDS philosophy, HEAR what it FEELS like to have a LVM as a spouse when you almost die bearing his SEEDYeah I'm hoping it's sooner rather than later | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 03:54 PM |
| 3 | Some lessons learned from my recovering pickmeisha stay-at-home mom BFF and her traumatic birthing experience with a LVM/NVM. If you are a lurker and on the fence fully committing to the FDS philosophy, HEAR what it FEELS like to have a LVM as a spouse when you almost die bearing his SEEDThat's a good insight to their behavior, I would have never considered where it was coming from on their end but it helps me to stay away now that I'm more aware | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 03:50 PM |
| 66 | Girls who are mature for their age...If you consider an older man saying you are "mature for your age" as a form of flattery, you are not as mature as you think you are. He is using this statement so he can get an sense if you are going to entertain his flattery and will continue to lower your guard in his presence to see if he can entertain grooming you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 07:33 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.That's tough. Even if you know deep down he is not the person you want him to be in your life right now, it can still hurt to know he choose to invest him time somewhere else. You shared recovery overcoming some huge challenges in your healing journey. That's amazing you are starting to move in a better place for yourself. I know part of the 12 step process is making amends with those that have been affected by one's actions. Can I challenge you to check in with yourself first and assess where y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 05:49 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Anytime! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 05:37 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.We need to stop this whole "you can't be disappointed or hurt from someone you were trying to get to know as a potential romantic partner because it's not real unless yOu aRe iN a ReLaTiOnShIp" BS because it's gaslighting women to just "TAKE" the LVM mistreatment, is dismissing/invalidating, and allows the cycle of LVM to continue because they can frame it as women "overreacting" or "acting crazy" You are allowed to be upset. You are allowed to feel disappointing that a person you were trying to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 05:35 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.First, big hugs to you right now. Living with a LVM partner when you realize it's not going down a positive and possible path with you in the future is a hard realization to process. You deserve to be heard in your relationship and you deserve to feel safe. The fact that your partner is questioning your experience as a woman feeling UNCOMFORTABLE in their own place of residence instead of feeling enraged that a trusted friend felt it was COMPLETELY OKAY to physically assault another human being … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 05:27 PM |
| 1 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureIf closure is what you need to feel like you are able to move on, that's your truth and totally okay too. I just don't think anything the other party would say to explain why a relationship ends is the TRUE intentions on why someone ends things and we will never get an 100% accurate explanation on why things ended. We can only control our own thoughts, actions, and experiences so even if they gave me an "answer" for closure, I will never FULLY know the real truth because of my own biases, opinio… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 04:49 PM |
| 1 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureOuch. I am so sorry for your loss. Your story, strength, and insight are an inspiration to women who go through this horrible experience. Thinking of you and sending virtual internet hugs. Thank you for being part of FDS and sharing your truth. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/06/20 02:19 PM |
| 7 | HVM not proposing, how do I approach this?Why do you feel it's childish to consider walking away from a relationship if one party values and wants marriage but the other party has not taken action to make it happen? In love women are the prize. A man does not do anything they don't want to do so being less available would make them notice she is distancing. He will notice that distance and either step up (direction towards marriage) or stay stagnant. She is not OBLIGATED to stay with him if he wants to have her be a Forever Girlfriend a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 08:21 PM |
| 29 | Reminder that older men who go out of their way to date vastly younger women need to be AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS and this is whyHoping she will find us one day and heal from this POS | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 08:03 PM |
| 3 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureI would have never gotten through my last breakup without lurking on FDS and finding you all! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 07:59 PM |
| 5 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureWhen I'm not sure if I am fully loving myself, I try to think about how I show others I care for them and try to do the same things for me. I check in with myself (my emotions), I talk to myself and try to practice self-kindness when I made a mistake. I try to see if I am doing something because I WANT to really do it or because I feel compelled to do something because I was brainwashed to put other needs above my own before doing anything for another human being so I don't continually put other… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 07:57 PM |
| 4 | “My (24F) [pedophile] husband (38M) keeps sexualising my childhood trauma even tho I’ve asked him not to.” Further analyses of the husband in the comments are even more disturbing.I am so enraged just reading what that deranged trashbag said to you to try to have you feel shame for HIM DELIBERATELY CHOOSING TO EMOTIONALLY ABUSE YOU. I am happy to know you're here to give us wisdom from the other side and are committed to being in a better place. Someone on reddit once mentioned a therapist saying something along the lines of "keep your boundaries intact so you become difficult for an abuser to lure you in" and that stuck with me. They said it so well but I was a pickmeish… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 07:39 PM |
| 2 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closurePREACH!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 07:02 PM |
| 4 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureI really needed to read this perspective, thank you! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 07:01 PM |
| 5 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureAbsolutely correct!!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 07:00 PM |
| 12 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureI know it can be hard when there is so much uncertainty in this world to focus on the "could have, should have, would have" rumination rabbit hole, but I'm proud of you to know that these thoughts aren't serving you well. It's okay to give yourself closure if that's what you need from yourself to move on, but it can TRULY only come from within. Instead of focusing on closure, I tell myself: "When I did not know the lessons I now have under my belt, I allowed LVM to take priority over my own need… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 06:57 PM |
| 15 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureIf the 'apology' is to dismiss someone's feelings or to have the abuser relieve their own personal guilt associated to mistreating another human being, it's def. not an apology | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 04:41 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You are worth the love you give to freely to everyone else. I'm so happy you have found FDS and are open to challenging yourself to reframe your mindset. It's a vulnerable place to be. I know it was not easy for me to take the first steps and I waited 2 years before it fully sinked into my head. I've been there and I know how HARD it feels. The fact that you are lurking is great--keep lurking until you are ready! I hope you know you did not do anything to deserve being mistreated by a LVM and th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 04:39 PM |
| 29 | It's okay to process your past and feel ALL THE THINGS. Requesting closure is going to set you back. Nothing they will say to you will change what they did. Take your dignity and invest your time focusing on "getting closure" to lift another woman up. Living life fully = the best closureI KNOW THAT'S RIGHT! 10000000% | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 02:49 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I know it can be lonely and isolating with covid. If you are feeling lonely, just know we are here. You can DM me anytime as long as you don't text continue texting LVM out of needing some type of support lol They are not worth your precious time. Invest it in like-minded women | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 02:31 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Can you imagine what it must be like to intentionally mistreat a romantic prospect because our society/world endorses men mistreating women and brainwashes (socializes or whatever you deem it) women to ACCEPT that men are "allowed" to be a dick to you to show interest? sO iF U dOn'T wAnT 2 B a 30 yR oLD sPiNsTeR U mUsT lEt hIm jOkE wItH u It's okay to write down his bad features or do whatever you need to do to NOT SETTLE for that POS "prospect" and find a man who is emotionally intelligent enou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 02:29 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Also I'm free of charge right now, this world needs kindness and unity right now more than ever. Seriously I mean it. I don't want ANY OF YOU to think you are not deserving of support. Even if you are socially distancing, you are not alone and I want you to know that. I am an internet stranger, but I love every single one of you from afar (EXCEPT THE LVM MALE LURKERS, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) and I 1000000000% want you all to know I will listen to you, hear you, and support you. FDS has changed my … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 02:17 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It was a journey for me to start making sustainable changes that are long lasting, but this community has GOT YOUR BACK! There are going to be hard days, great days, and moments in between. I know you are going to move onto the next chapter! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/20 02:06 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You don't owe them anything, if you feel like it's not bringing value into your life in this moment...that's TOTALLY OKAY! You are only responsible for yourself! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:39 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You know and have expressed this situation is not healthy for your mental health/well-being and you recognize it is not a sustainable relationship because there are many red flags. You invested a lot of time and feel a sense of obligation/shame to continue to allow him to mistreat you because you are together for so long, but it doesn't feel like you REALLY want to or that it brings you anything positive into your world. If you want to level up, look into some resources on codependency. You know… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:38 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.That does sound painful. It's okay to be hurt. You did not see this coming and it's a profound rejection that is extremely hard not to personalize. I know if it were me, I would be feeling a lot of self-blame and trying to assess what I did "wrong." Time heals all wounds. If you need to vent or someone to listen, know I am here. The community of FDS is amazing and we are so happy you found us. Do whatever you need to take care of you. Healing is a process. Just one small step can be a huge victo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:35 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.First, HUGE internet hugs right now. Ouch, that hurts just reading it. <3 I know it's hard not to personalize this because it is a very hurtful thing to share with a person who was feeling good about the relationship and it is blindsiding to be on the receiving end of the message for sure. Wit this said, why would you be okay staying with a person who is telling you they are basically just using you for sex and an emotional ego stroke but they don't deem you 'wOrThY' enough to commit to you long… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:29 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.What makes you think he will actually follow through, hear, and genuinely want to change to make you happy? He had plenty of time to do that and he isn't. I'm sure you have communicated this to him before and he is choosing not to hear you. You have to decide for yourself what route you want to take but FDS is here if you want to learn how to make it happen if you are ready to take action in your life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:26 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.NGL I tried countering the oneitis by staying on dating apps and talking to a few guys for some dates so I did not over-invest in the HVM I was into. You are doing the right step by matching his energy and accepting the signs. You are taking all the right steps! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:24 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It is tough, but there are men who will want to get to know you virtually and connect with you if you want to make the change in the dating game. There are many options out there. We need to stop believing that there is a scarcity in men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:22 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.The "I don't think I deserve you" excuse is the LVM basically affirming that "I know I am not meeting your expectations and am telling you that I refuse to put any effort at all, but admitting that makes my ego butthurt so I need to make it seem like it's something YOU did wrong instead." He doesn't deserve you AT ALL and is BLESSED to have you for the time he did. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:21 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.If it's about "everyone is human and struggling, right" and you are justifying reaching out to him BECAUSE your statement was true, why are you ONLY reaching out to him specifically? There are plenty of other people who add value to your life that are NOT HIM. Reach out to an old friend or family member. Find supportive Reddit communities and find internet friends. It seems like he is getting more out of this than you are because if he was really being there for you, you would not be posting her… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:18 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You know what he is capable of giving you and it seems like he will not make a change even if it hurts you. I don't think he wants to give more. I know it's hard and does not feel good. Listen to some sad music, cry some of it out, and process why losing him is so painful for you. It doesn't seem like he even did anything of value or was loving, just a LVM. LVM are a dime a dozen. Is it really about HIM as your soulmate, or is it because it's hurting your ego? It hurts when you feel rejection fr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:11 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It's hard for me to process that there are people who choose to dismiss, invalidate, or remain complicit when witnessing mass systemic genocide of a particular group due to police brutality. I do not have the experiences of the group that is protesting this on a personal level, but I can't fathom NOT feeling heartbroken, angry, and wanting to resist this because anything less is FUCKING INHUMANE AND IMMORAL. I hate the whole defensiveness on the other side because they are missing the ENTIRE FUC… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 11:07 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I read the whole thing and it reminded me of who I was just 1 year ago. Based on what I am hearing, you are in the stage of processing that you logically know, observe, and feel the toxic dynamic but are not 100% ready to lose hope that he is finally ready to put more effort into your relationship. It took me from December until January to go from this stage to the "holding on to the time shimmer of hope left" to "he is never going to be ready and his low value apathy towards my love is damaging… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 10:34 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I'm here and offering my full support! Feel free to post or DM me, whatever you feel most comfortable. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 07:28 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Now that you know he is pretending to be a HVM, you know these outreach attempts are not genuine and are a manipulation ploy to see if he can get an ego boost from you when he feels it's convenient. He is getting stratification knowing he holds this power over you. He doesn't have that power over you. No one does. You decide who you allow access to your life and presence. A Queen knows their worth and you know he won't treat you for the GIFT YOU ARE! Him offering to give now is because he senses… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 06:41 PM |
| 4 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Also there is nothing wrong for cutting off a man at the first sign of them being covertly sexist or anti feminist. Nothing pisses me the fuck off more than when a LVM procreates with a pickmeisha, they give birth to a biological girl, and he has the realization/mourning that he has a daughter because he finally comprehends how dangerous it is to be a woman now that his seed is on this Earth. It takes him locking a pickmeisha as his birthing vessel for him to FINALLY realize that him and many ot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 06:30 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It's easier said than done when implementing the FDS philosophy, especially during tough times, when you are feeling isolated and lonely. I try to think to myself if what I am doing will bring me joy or if it's because I was socialized or conditioned to feel obligated to do something for male validation. It's hard to feel confident in the process when you are surrounded by a circle of support that are paired with men. When I was single, it was hard to be around my BFFS who had significant others… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 06:24 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Do not feel bad for hurting and doing what you needed to do to survive. You were in a less informed place back then, but now you know different strategies. For every 25 instances of LVM mistreatment we endure, women may do like 1 instance of mistreatment back to the LVM MAX and out of a place of hurt/survival. Do not feel bad about it. You wouldn't have hurt him at all if he treated you correctly to begin with. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 05:54 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.The fact that you can be vulnerable and honest with yourself an important first step. It's not easy to realize you are the one holding yourself back, but it's also empowering to know that you are noticing patterns of behavior that indicate a need for a change. The fact that you are writing this in your journal to keep yourself accountable and notice the behavior is a GREAT tool that I may steal from you :) You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself and stay strong in making your l… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:53 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.One day you are going to share this experience with another woman to lift her up when she is feeling low. You are learning, growing, and becoming the woman you were meant to be. We are here to support you on your new path! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:42 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Good points. I know witnessing my dad's LVM behavior towards my pickmeisha mom modeled to me what I thought was a hEaLtHy ReLaTiOnShIp and it has taken 20+ years to undo the things I learned by witnessing LV behaviors. Kids learn through what you do, never by what you tell them. You not only deserve the best for yourself, but if you want to be a mother you OWE it to your children to model these behaviors from day 1 with a HVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:20 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I'm so glad you have committed to this journey. There will be challenges, but nothing is more lonely than being stuck in a relationship dynamic that feels stagnant and evident that you do not belong there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:17 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Now that you know better, you will do better the next time around. You got this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:11 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You have to treat yourself like you are royalty for men to see it and believe it too. Queens do not offer their bodies, their gifts, their time, their energy, or their presence to people who do not value what they have to offer. You are not there to give them emotional support, temporary sexual gratification, or to fix their issues. You are there to assess if there is non-sexual comparability and connection with a man to see if there could be a connection formed over time during a date and that'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:10 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You did NOTHING wrong and I hope you realize if he did get fired, it was HIS ACTIONS that caused him to lose his job. You did nothing wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 04:01 PM |
| 4 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It takes a few minutes to reach out to a friend.and your friendship deserves to be treasured lady! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:58 PM |
| 1 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.You are so right and the only thing that gives me comfort is that we have FDS to give us the tools to see this behavior so we are aware. A masculine, healthy HVM knows why women are scared of men and are cautious. I tell myself that constantly. Its not worth the risk to make excuses for their dismissive behavior when I express my concerns about dating no matter how HV they initially appear. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:54 PM |
| 5 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.When we process painful things that happened to us, it's a normal reaction to try to go into the "should have, could have, would have" mode because our brain thinks that will give us a sense of control. Be kind to yourself. You did not know what you know now, but now that you have the tools and support---you know better now! You were hurting and came from a less informed place before coming to FDS. You didn't realize the challenges you faced in the dating world and with LVM is a universal experi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:52 PM |
| 4 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You are starting to sprout! :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:40 PM |
| 6 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It's okay to mourn losing a person who was never there to begin with. It's okay for your brain to go into the "should of, could have, would have" mode for a few minutes, but know that it's a way to make sense of something you will never FULLY have the answer for. That's okay too. If he wanted things to work out, he would be there. Don't feel guilty for being HUMAN and feeling betrayed. It's okay to miss someone, even if they were not right for you. I know it's hard to stay NC and feel this sense… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:40 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Been there before myself and want to let you know you are a BADASS QUEEN for keeping your values and boundaries tight when going through something like that. I know it's way easier said than done. Bravo! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:36 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Don't beat yourself up over just starting something new. You are learning. You took the first step. Progress not perfection. You know this dynamic is not healthy for your metal health and wellbeing. You are doing what you need right now and that's SO OKAY. You need yourself and it's okay to cut him off without an explaination. I can't speak for him, but I get the sense he would do the same to you and not think about it twice. Now that you have committed to improving yourself, believe it! You are… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:33 PM |
| 1 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You are going through this the best you can with the experiences and tools you were taught. When we experience relationship role models that are struggling themselves, we learn our relationship dynamics from a misinformed place. I am so proud of you to realize your upbringing and support system have not given you the tools and support you need moving forward. That's a great first step and it takes people YEARS to realize this so I congratulate you on having the insight to realize this is not ser… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:30 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You are going to be a stronger, more empathetic, empowered and resilient person from this experience. You owe it to yourself to give yourself what you need today to become your best self! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:20 PM |
| 4 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.First off, you did what you needed to do because he showed you who they were and you had the WISDOM to believe it the first time. This sounds like a hard situation to be in and it's okay to feel different emotions when assessing everything. You did nothing wrong and I hope you know you DESERVE to be FULLY LOVED. Based on what you wrote, I want to respectfully say that he does not fully love you the way I KNOW YOU DESERVE. You are not Bob-The-Builder. You are a real woman, with real challenges, w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:18 PM |
| 5 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Wow, that is such a shitty thing for him to have done. Of course you are feeling vulnerable and sad, that's REAL and RAW emotion. You are allowed to feel upset, hurt, and confused. Even if you rationally know he is a total shithead LVM and their actions indicated that they pretty much used you mmediatley after giving him the green light to have sex, it is still going to FEEL FUCKING SHITTY because our brain tells us misleading things to try to protect us. If it were my brain, it would probably s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 03:04 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I want to challenge you to something. Instead of: "I am so angry at myself for disrespecting myself by showing him my body" can you re-frame it to: "a man that knew me for years emotionally manipulated me to cross a boundary in showing him my body, it did not feel good to do that, and that is something I will no longer do now." Instead of "I am upset for not continuing to say no" can you re-frame to: "It hurts to know that a person who claimed to love me did not respect my boundaries and took ad… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:52 PM |
| 5 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I am so happy you are here and reached out for support. It takes courage to reach out when there is so much going on in your world right now and I wish I could just give you a HUGE internet hug. I'm not gonna lie, my mental health has been SHIT shit the pandemic and working from home (started the same week as you too). I can't imagine how isolating it must feel to be stuck at your place, but not having access to your support system or distractions to get your mind off the things that are causing… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:37 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.That's tough lady, but know the universe is telling you something. The universe is telling you that his invalidation of your feelings is a sign that they are not the man you thought they were. The universe loves you enough to make this realization happen this week because you deserve a full life with infinite love from a HVM and the world needs you to BELIEVE in all the good possibilities that can exist when things are tough. This is the tip of the iceberg and any man with emotional intelligence… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:28 PM |
| 3 | People say that FDS is the equivalent of TheRedPill, but I've yet to see a post about how to spot and exploit mentally ill and traumatized men here.USING A WOMAN = BAD USING A MAN = BAD What Women Have to Offer > What Men Have to Offer | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:16 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Keep your value high Queen, I know you can do it even when our world is having a ROUGH week because you are SO STRONG! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:14 PM |
| 2 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I want to let you know that there is nothing you did wrong to deserve the treatment you are receiving from LVM and I hope you realize that you are enough. You deserve to be valued, heard, validated, respected, and given love freely without having to compromise or change who you are in this moment. The first step in leveling up is to realize that often times, how a person treats you has literally NOTHING to do with you and it's a reflection on who they are or what they are dealing with themselves… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 02:12 PM |
| 4 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.I want to just give you a huge hug right now. Ouch. I can't imagine how you must of felt finding that message and all the emotions that overwhelmed you when he reappeared in your life. You know this man is toxic and he is keeping you from living your truest truth. He is trying to reappear because he knows when he does, you will respond and that gives his ego power. Deep down you know this. Now that you do and are shown the strategies and skills to make it happen, you need to implement the tools … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:23 PM |
| 6 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.First off, please do not beat yourself up for acting in a way that is not aligned with your truest values and sense of self during a pandemic and civil unrest. I know it's a cliche adage, but WE ARE living in uncertain times and uncertainty causes trauma. We are all trying to do our best and make sense of this uncertainty so be kind to yourself because we are trying to find certainty in other outlets to make up with feeling uncomfortable, scared, angry, etc. With this said, you realize it's toxi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:18 PM |
| 6 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.When we experience trauma and are deeply hurt, it's OKAY to have them take a little space in your mind so you are able to feel what you need to feel, process what you need to process, and take some time to just stand still in the moment. It's okay to do that for a little and it's part of the healing process to try to make sense of things we will NEVER have the real answers to. I'm so sorry you had to experience a narcissistic, toxic relationship because you NEVER deserved ANY bit of mistreatment… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:14 PM |
| 2 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.YUP YOU ARE SO RIGHT! Apathy and silence speaks volumes. Keep staying strong and being a Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:05 PM |
| 3 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.If it were me, I would let the silence speak volumes. He knows that if he wants to hear from you, that he has the POWER to initaite conversation with you to make his interest known. In love, women are the prize. Do not have him think otherwise. Men unfortunate LOVE the chase and if you reach out first, as much as I hate to say this....they deem you "lower value" because they know and SENSE you are eager to their game. It's better to left things unsaid and find a suitor that is willing and dedica… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:04 PM |
| 4 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.First off, big hugs to you. It's so tough to break the cycle when we are taught the wrong skills and tools in love as women, but I am SO PROUD of you for realizing this wasn't aligned with your values, your vision, and KNOW deep down you did the RIGHT thing. Men try to do the whole "let's be friends after I decide I don't want to marry you" to make the narrative in their favor, to have power over you because you ended things 'amicable', and THEY KNOW they can try to weasel their way back into yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:01 PM |
| 35 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.No contact can feel so unsettling because our society puts pressure on women to "let him off gently" and other sexist BS. It's okay to mourn and grieve even if you know he isn't the right person for you. It's okay to feel those things. You are allowed to think about him and process what you new to process. It's okay to be upset or feel foolish for what you did in your relationship, but know you have the power to become a new person every day. You deserve grace and forgiveness for your old ways b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:29 AM |
| 15 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.Trauma responses make us try to make sense of things that we will never have the answers to and our desire to find normalcy after a very acutely stressful event/circumstance. I want you to now that it's okay that you are thinking about your ex and I am SO PROUD of you for being strong, seeing the facts for what they are, and realizing that you cannot love a person into changing who they are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:24 AM |
| 8 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.UGH I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I hope you know you are NOT ALONE in having this happen to you. There are so many LVM that normalize this in the dating world. Now I am going to say something I think you intuitively know: he chose to hurt you because he is manipulative enough to send you a clear message that because you are now invisible to him, he has the power to appear in your life whenever he feels it's convenient for him or when he wants an ego boost. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:22 AM |
| 15 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It's tough to break the cycle of oneitis when dating, but I highly encourage you to try to meet other men to assess if there is compatibility and connection to see what options are out there. The biggest currency you can get from a man that is romantically interested in you is their time, consistency with communication, and reaching out to you first. It has to be frequent communication with him offering support or trying to give. If you have to question how serious they are about you or it doesn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:17 AM |
| 13 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.When you apply FDS and the teachings to your life, it can be a blessing and a curse. It's empowering to be able to identify red flags and weed out the trash earlier on. It did suck though realizing that HVM are the rare exception rather than the rule and most of the male population are LVM, NVM, sometimes ZVM and very rarely HVM. Emotional abuse is so hard. I hope you know you are amazing for who you are. You did nothing wrong. I also hope you can give yourself grace and forgive yourself for sur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:11 AM |
| 11 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.It's some Queen shit to look at the actions of what he did as FACTS and not allowing the feelings of desire to get into the way of accepting breadcrumbs from a low effort man. I hope you know that anything a LVM has done has LITERALLY nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong and now that you believe in yourself, you are wise enough to see things for the truth in where your relationships stand. You should invest time with someone who truly values you and respects your time. In love women are… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:06 AM |
| 11 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.You have come so far from where you once were and you are even closer to living the life you imagined with a HVM that loves you for who you are in this exact moment. You are realizing this situation is not ideal for you and it's going to hurt because even if you rationally know this, it still FEELS hard. I know when I invest time with a LVM, it's still upsetting to know I wasted time and they are not as into me as I am into them. It hurts the ego, but I also know there should be NO LIMIT to love… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 01:02 AM |
| 42 | If it's emotionally hard to stay away from a LVM, post here. If you need encouragement, post here. If you want to stay on track but its been tough this week, post here. I will give you ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATIONS, and SUPPORT to other Queens that need to get through this shitty week. Don't text him.SAME! This sub changed my whole mindset and reframed how I should approach healthy relationships. As a former clown myself, it's been nothing but empowering to see our sisterhood on this small community and see what GOOD things happen when I speak my truth. When I respect my boundaries and my personal worth, I saw endless possibilities and HV people enter my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 11:41 PM |
| 5 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.It's all good! I'm just fired up, this week has been tough/draining so I am trying to fight it with love and support with what is ethical/good on this Earth. <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 10:52 PM |
| 6 | What’s the consensus here on prenuptials???Had a failed engagement and was with my LVM ex of over 5+ years. It was mentally and financially draining because I was given backlash (manipulated by a LVM hiding behind a HVM mask for 2 years) for suggesting legal protections because "dOnT u BeLiEvE wE r 4eVeR" brainwashing and once I caved, their LVM become more apparent each day....until I basically had to take a HUGE L for something I could have easily avoided. If he's truly HV, he will understand and not take offense to a prenup it because… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 10:22 PM |
| 4 | I was told to wait, but tonight I had to blow things up.I'm so happy to hear you are safe. I know this week has been fucking awful for many reasons, but I'm glad you are okay. It is going to feel crappy and there will be times when you will feel all the emotions, but trust in yourself and your strength. You giving yourself what you need in this moment and giving yourself grace is what matters most. Sending virtual hugs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:50 PM |
| 26 | People say that FDS is the equivalent of TheRedPill, but I've yet to see a post about how to spot and exploit mentally ill and traumatized men here.SAY IT LOUDER FOR ALL THE LVM LURKERS IN THE BACK! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:42 PM |
| 5 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.I can't imagine how much effort he had to put into his day to create a fake Facebook account to show his ex the 3 inches of thunder they are missing out and to get your attention to look at his chode lil' peen. Can you imagine having enough time to do that? It's hard for me to even fathom the amount of energy and effort they had to prepare just to harass you like that. Good for you on reporting that shit and being a Queen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:28 PM |
| 13 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.It's a classic move to try to lure you back. But you know better now! There are PLENTY of men who will be available and able to give you what you want and will send CLEAR CONSISTENT signals that he is 10000% into you. Don't settle for anything less than a HELL YEAH :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:21 PM |
| 19 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.Sis there is no such thing as closure, take your dignity and go. A man's actions speak more than their words Denying them the chance to manipulate the narrative and have them justify LVM behavior may make your ego hurt less, but it won't change the fact that they hurt you. Nothing gives a HVW more closure than denying a man an opportunity to "explain themselves" when it's convenient for them to reek havoc on you bettering yourself. LVM have an innate ability to offer "closure" when they see you … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 09:13 PM |
| 11 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.Just know you have LEVELED UP. A real Queen knows that if a man doesn't want her, he is a JOKER to think he can put on his HVM mask and let himself back into your heart when he feels it's convenient for him. YOU are the prize, don't a man EVER get that twisted! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 06:44 PM |
| 24 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.There are survivors who do not have the healing, tools, and support to realize their ex partners were abusive or downplay/romanticize their ex pattern's treatment because it's better blissfully be in denial than feel the other emotions that accompany processing a toxic relationships. MaKiNg a ReLaTiOnShIp (even a highly toxic or abusive one) tends to be worn as a badge of honor for cOmProMiSe aNd CoMmUnIcAtIoN. We also romanticize "closure" to allow ex partners access to our lives and fall back … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 06:26 PM |
| 16 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.You are a Queen for not engaging with your ex. It doesn't mean it doesn't suck or it isn't hard to refrain from reaching out. It can feel painful, but nothing is more painful being stuck in a relationship that makes you feel like love is finite or conditional. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 06:20 PM |
| 2 | This dude I just started talking to seemed promising til I saw this posted on his Instagram. Gross and false 😂 Yeah...I declined a second dateSo if we don't allow men to test drive us for years because we set standards to differentiate dating vs. wife standards in our relationship to emphasize the value of our presence, we are slut shamed if we do not cater to a man's Forever Girlfriend Clown Wife mask ??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 11:51 AM |
| 4 | coercion, abuse, rough sex, kink and youTherapy helped me a lot with realizing this behavior is not sexy and it's a response to trauma. Somewhere along the way, I was taught that it was better for me to allow a man to "consentually" do this because it was "so empowering" to have them manipulate me into it instead of "surprising" or "pressuring" (assaulting/raping) me into it instead. It made me feel a false sense of control and made me feel "more in control" (and told myself that it was "my fault" for "consenting" when things went too… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 02:30 PM |
| 77 | Leveled up and threw away all the "gifts" my LVM exs bought me that were REALLY for their depraved sexual pleasure. A HVM does not NEED to tie you up, treat you like a kinkmeisha, or use any depraved pornsick sex strategies because hurting someone they care about should be a HUGE TURN OFF.I am going to check it out! Also within 10 minutes of this posting, some butthurt scrotes are messaging me to inform me that "I am only good for sex" to troll. Idk who needs to hear this, but if you feel the burning desire to message a complete stranger on the internet because my opinion on pornsick LVM offends you, I would encourage you to seek therapy on WHY you are personalizing this sO mUcH because normal, healthy, empowered, successful people do not waste their valuable time putting that en… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 02:23 PM |
| 2 | A love quiz to see if you’re ready for love and what areas you can be working onI AM SAVING THIS THANK YOU! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 02:19 PM |
| 7 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!The chance of TRULY finding a HVM after sleeping with them early is SO SOO SOOOOO low. If they present themselves as HVM, it's a mask but they will hold you "caving" into sex and use that to justify "not trusting" you are marriage material YEARS after it happened. I was with someone for 4+ YEARS, a failed engagement, and when we were in the stages of breaking up he used the excuse of "how we first got together" (aka: me having sex with him early on when we both were casually dating) to justify h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 12:42 PM |
| 9 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!The no sex thing is like a muscle--the more you practice, the easier it becomes and the stronger you become. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 12:37 PM |
| 13 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!I will never know why they ghosted but I do observe the Madonna-whore complex being a very unconscious bias most men have. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 12:36 PM |
| 7 | My experience implementing the "3 month rule" on FDS has sold me on making sure it's going to be a Forever Dating Strategy. My experience implementing this has been nothing but positive and empowering!My philosophy is that the engagement will be at least 1 year and we will know each other for about 9-12 months most likely before the engagement. IMO the sex isn't usually the major red flags in a relationship with a monster, just the symptoms of other pressing relationship issues. The red flags I've experienced before is inconsistency following through with their words, holding grudges, being selfish, etc....which I feel can be independent of sex and/or connected to sex depending on the context… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/20 12:34 PM |
| 6 | Wearing a shirt that indirectly downplays the education, field hours, and professor career accomplishments of their daughter by being unable to resist the urge to give himself credit for her hard work is LVM shit. Cumming inside a woman and "believing" in his genetic seed did not do this.SAY THIS LOUDER TO ALL THE DADDIES IN THE BACK AT THE SW VIRTUAL GRADUATION PARRRRRTY! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/20 04:05 PM |
| 3 | Wearing a shirt that indirectly downplays the education, field hours, and professor career accomplishments of their daughter by being unable to resist the urge to give himself credit for her hard work is LVM shit. Cumming inside a woman and "believing" in his genetic seed did not do this.For all I know, it could be. It was a store ad, but regardless this type of "support" is LVM shit | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/20 01:11 PM |
| 2 | If your male support system personalizes a general statement about how "all men are trash" after an ex LVM partner deeply hurt you, projects their insecurity onto you, and tries to debate you on how "it's not all men" just know they are NOT a HVM.YUP MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! You articulated beautifully u/xoladybugxo | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/20 10:38 PM |
| 1 | If your male support system personalizes a general statement about how "all men are trash" after an ex LVM partner deeply hurt you, projects their insecurity onto you, and tries to debate you on how "it's not all men" just know they are NOT a HVM.My perspective is: 1) a HVM has the emotional intelligence to know that when you are hurting and make a generalized statement like "all men are trash" after finding out an ex cheated on you, they understand the content of why you made that statement in that moment (out of a place of hurt) or have the ability to feel empathy so they don't personalize or debate this with you. A HVM knows that there is a time/place to get defensive and if you are truly using them as a support system, they are aware… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/20 10:36 PM |
| 2 | Hobosexual AwarenessBefore I created a FDS throaway, I saw someone use the term "hobosexual" here once and it really resonated with me so now I consider it a LVM/NVM subtype women should be aware of. It really is a "type" my old pickmeisha self went for | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/20 10:31 PM |
| 5 | If you "aren't sure" if you should text him, READ this before you impulsively text him back. A step-by-step guide to deciding to text back or need strength to adhere to FDS principles...Yes, it does only take 2 minuites to send a text and I don't understand why women are told that if we hold men to this standard, that WE should be the ones to make concessions to keep him. A LVM would leave a woman in a second if he felt that way and held a woman to that standard--they wouldn't be shamed for it either! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/20 02:00 PM |
| 6 | If you "aren't sure" if you should text him, READ this before you impulsively text him back. A step-by-step guide to deciding to text back or need strength to adhere to FDS principles...It's just to point out it's a common expectation for someone to carry their personal cellphone on them while at work, in public, near their proximity, etc. to emphasize my later points about how it's a simple, easy gesture to show interest in the relationship and if a man isn't deliberately seeking you out consistently, they are not into you and will be LV towards you later (minimal effort now = minimal effort later on) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/20 01:59 PM |
| 7 | You deserve to be loved for who you are in this exact moment for who you are and valued as a human being, despite your past or any poor pickmeisha role models you had growing up. Break the cycle of being a future pickmeisha mom!It's for the pickmeisha role models growing up who taught us surface level feminist values/beliefs but didn't live them out (talking the talk without walking the walk). The meme was based off my own pickmeisha mom and she brags about being a liberal feminist, but internalizes LVM beliefs then projects them onto me. When I confront her on the contradictions on her limiting beliefs, she denies internalized sexism because she "minored in women's studies in college 30+ years ago" then sides with LVM… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/20 10:37 AM |
| 58 | Reminder: shut up engagement rings are a thing. An engagement does not mean you are immune to LVM behavior. A LVM can be hidden for YEARS under a HVM mask and engagement is the PERFECT time for a man to use "building a life together" to justify LV behavior or pressuring you to lower your standards.Yup, learned this all the hard way. The ring is a manipulation ploy to guilt you into settling because the LVM believes they did enough to shut you up now that you have "the ring." Their behavior towards you deteriorates as soon as the ring is on your finger and it's a carrot hanging above you. Doesn't value your time? He will dismiss it because you have yOuR wHoLe LiVeS tO bUiLd A lIfE tOgEtHeR Shitty gifts for holidays? sAvInG mOnEy fOr tHe WeDdInG Expects you to make all the concessions in th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/20 09:34 PM |
| 15 | 6+ years with a man and no ring?As a recovered Former Forever Girlfriend, I'm going to predict that after he drags it out a little longer he is going to: 1) breakup with Forever GF to "find himself" in a nasty, messy breakup that involves him leaving her and her trying to make it work while he is actively looking for other women to check out his options (flirting or checking out former options) and/or cheats 2) Will decide he will want to marry the next woman he is with within 1.5 years and decides he is "ready" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/20 11:51 PM |
| 3 | Lesson learned: if you are lonely, it's better to adopt a pet than adopt a hobosexual LVMSeemingly established men can transform into a hobosexual if we aren't careful...hobosexuals don't present themselves as leeches at first Friend recently leveled up with a man who was a nurse with a better salary than her, but found circumstantial excuses of why he needs to live with her for their "future partnership" so they could have a "solid foundation" together. Tune in sob story about student loans, car payment, cellphone bill...basically he found it hard to be a grownass adult and didn't … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/05/20 08:42 PM |
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