Love is not synonymous w/ never being abandoned or complicit w/ dismissing the needs of those you care about for "cOmPrOmIsE." Words not aligning with actions is manipulation. Failing to hold yourself accountable for engaging in poor behavior and/or actions that impact another person is GASLIGHTING.

volcanic_equation · 2021-02-17T17:41:35+00:00

Straight facts.

None of that “What’s the matter, can’t take a jOkE??” BS either.

No sir, I can’t. If I wanted a clown, I’d go to a circus. ✌🏼

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-17T19:32:35+00:00

Something I noticed among men is they think women will never leave them or that they shouldn’t. They think if you are in a commitment you can’t leave you should work it out no matter what and that’s wrong, you have the right to leave whenever and for whatever reason you think necessary. This entitlement is dangerous to me. Scares the shit out of me

berryberrykicks · 2021-02-17T17:58:54+00:00

One of my ex-boyfriends would get angry at me, because he felt bad about what he did.

For example, if he accidentally stepped on my foot, he would, of course, immediately apologize. I was still in pain, so I was holding my foot waiting for it to pass. He would yell, “I SAID I’m sorry!”

Yeah, dude. Got it. I forgive you for the accident. But the words aren’t magic. My foot still hurts. I’m not yelling at you about it. I’m just coping with the pain.

I knew what made him angry was that he felt bad, and he blamed me for that feeling.

Was that a minor moment? Yes. Was it indicative of his lack of emotional intelligence and a common theme in our relationship? Hell to the yes.

GigiSanfilippo · 2021-02-17T20:02:51+00:00

A LVM's "I'm not perfect" translates to "I want to treat you poorly but not be held accountable for it".

Ugh. Disgusting.

Lolita_Loquita · 2021-02-17T21:29:58+00:00

I was living under a rock for 2 years and blamed my mental health for this because he told me I was too sensitive or overreacting. After he dumped I started to make a list of the times that I was being "irrational" and discovered that those were perfectly things to be upset about. I had to stop adding to the list because it was painful to see how much this person gaslit me.

chocolatelustpile · 2021-02-17T17:29:46+00:00

Say it louder for the women in the back! 👏🏼👏🏼

FurryBellyButt0n · 2021-02-17T18:19:44+00:00

IDK it depends on the anger. It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to yell at me or disrespect me.

Squidwrd_Tortellini · 2021-02-17T19:33:59+00:00

Sad that this isn't common sense

Pristine-Fortune2903 · 2021-02-17T19:00:41+00:00

This was my ex 100%, I’m glad I got the strength to leave him when I did.

2021-02-18T02:15:18+00:00

Yep. Last day I spoke to my ex LVM, he got angry because I was upset/angry at me for confronting him with how I felt about how he was treating me. I remember the last thing I said during our break up - I don’t understand why YOU are angry at me for being angry with how you are treating me. These LVM are not normal 🤡

mysecretdiary2 · 2021-02-18T02:19:47+00:00

I dated someone for 5 years who was struggling with anger issues. He would blow up at the littlest of things! I would forget something and he’d be angry etc. Growing up in an abusive household it was difficult to swallow because it made me scared and I automatically think the anger is directed towards me even though it wasn’t. In hindsight I should’ve seen this as a big fat red flag. If he has anger issues he needs to go to therapy and not expect everyone around him to cater towards him. I ended up just learning how to deal with that anger. But I was also scared of it. Not in a sense of him physically harming but due to my past it was ingrained in me to want to fix it to not make him angry. Now I know better. A man who can’t control his anger is never HV.

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