Blame shift.

MuffinSongs · 2021-05-16T15:49:35+00:00

Maybe you’re on to something here. All these dudes have been telling me my “picker is broken” when I get led on and lied to.

Maybe that’s gonna have to be my excuse for why I’m single. “Oh, me? Sorry. Picker’s broken. If I like you you are probably a shit human being.”

Golden_Lavender · 2021-05-16T15:56:51+00:00

I never understood the not allowed to express emotion thing because it's not like these guys practice stoicism (although they can learn a thing or two). Is laughter not an emotion, or excitement or anxiety? Even the most toxic of these dudes shows these emotions albeit in the most toxic ways possible. Whenever I see this anti emotion rhetoric they usually refer to sadness, bad mental health and their childhood trauma. If you want to cry just do it it'll help weed out bad company if they make fun of you 1st of all but it's not really a thing most women shame unless they themselves uphold misogynistic values. However as for their mental health and childhood trauma, girlfriends and wives are not dumpsters for your emotions. It is selfish to save all the good times with the bros but make every time with a girlfriend a therapy session. Find a therapist at that point if you don't like the fact that women break up with you after being emotionally dried up. At least do better for yourself BC your going to build more resentment at the fact that you are pushing women away for "opening up" even though these women (maybe some Godspeed to those) are not licensed professionals.

Peak_Tree · 2021-05-16T16:40:00+00:00

Pfff as if women crying weren't seen as "manipulative" an angry women ( the horror) weren't seen as abhorrent and gaslighted to hell and back.

SadPersonality8576 · 2021-05-16T19:10:48+00:00

The moment I sense blame shift is the moment I check out. The only fault I will admit to is misjudgement of a man's character. "I admit I have expected more from you than you will ever hope to deliver." I am tired of overexplaining how I know they lied and I know they manipulated, it never gets you anywhere. They know they are shit, they just don't want to admit it. "Goodbye".
Of course they are allowed to be emotional, but they don't want to go through with it and let themselves feel the emotions (well except toxic, grotesque versions of it), let alone express it. It's simple, but they want to overcomplicate it - do absolutely anything that is necessary - in order to delay the expression of their true emotion. They have complete agency in this they choose not to realize. Again, "not allowed" = blame shift. I check out.
Don't overexplain anything to any man anymore. You can state your case clearly at first, but as soon as you sense the blame shift, the manipulation, the feigned ignorance, and the gaslighting, CHECK OUT. You gave them a chance to rise to the occasion, it's not your fault they did not. Don't fall on your face by trying to pull them up to your level, it will never work.

ethnicallyabiguous · 2021-05-16T23:58:04+00:00

Every time I have a conversation with men about why so many of them play games in relationships, the response is usually “wEll We tRiEd tO Be niCe buT WoMeN chOsE bAD BoyS!”

Me: So you’re saying you allow women to determine if you are a person of good moral character or not? Why not be a good person for goodness sake?

Guys: well U WamAn sTarTeD iT!

Novemberinthechair · 2021-05-17T00:28:36+00:00

Thank you. The "We can't be emotional, but you want us to be emotional, " bullshit is tiresome as fuck.

Title	Blame shift.
Author	Bludbasedlubricant
Upvotes	207
Comments	10
Date	May 16, 2021 2:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ndp63a/blame_shift/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/blame-shift.754941 https://theredarchive.com/post/754941

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