Can a relationship survive or even thrive when a couple doesn't live together?

girludontbringhome · 2020-04-18T23:46:20+00:00

I would never move in with a SO if we are not married because I would not want to be a forever girlfriend. Refer to the this link from the FDS handbook to understand why you should not move in with a boyfriend.

whatglasses5 · 2020-04-18T22:28:44+00:00

My long term relationship was a bit of a slow burn for some good reasons - I had children at home, I was working on trust, and I really wanted a long time to do what I learned here as vetting. We also are older so there were no plans for children.

We spent several years living apart. Both of us are introverts as well. Me more than him.

Why it worked so well for us: I could let go of my (irrational, I know) fear that I would be like my mother and put a stepfather above the kids; the time we spent together was 100% date time - fun, relaxing,intimate because we weren’t doing any kid friendly activities. I was absolutely not doing any wife stuff at his place, he really focused on romance and fun; he showed himself to really want to take care of me by helping me in lots of ways when I needed it, even help with providing for my kids.

Two years ago the apartment opened up next to his, he suggested I move in. By now I just had child at home, a jr in high school. She was unhappy at her school and was excited to move, or I wouldn’t have done it.

So now we are neighbors! The only two apartments on the top floor, so we call it our penthouse. We’ve merged part of the home stuff but we are pretty independent. I liberated a few pieces of his unappreciated Danish Modern furniture because seriously, he did not realize what he had!

I know it’s unusual but it does work for us. And interestingly, whenever I tell another woman about it, every single time, they say they are jealous, they wish they had thought of it and how nice it must be to not have to deal with a man in the house.

Inez_Honeyfox · 2020-04-18T22:15:13+00:00

I think it depends on each individuals ideal relationship, and what they want from it. A lot of women want security and a family. I imagine it would be hard to have that without living with your partner. Personally, I want romance and excitement in a partner. Living with them would ruin that for me. I don’t think there’s a single “right” answer to your question.

Laeun · 2020-04-19T18:38:23+00:00

It's better to not live together until marriage.

Title	Can a relationship survive or even thrive when a couple doesn't live together?
Author	Least_Clothes
Upvotes	19
Comments	6
Date	April 18, 2020 8:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g3ulpm/can_a_relationship_survive_or_even_thrive_when_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/can-a-relationship-survive-or-even-thrive-when-a.678084 https://theredarchive.com/post/678084

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