dated older man; need advice

PaciencaYFe · 2020-03-29T05:55:39+00:00

That's a whole ass pedophile

ModernDayOracle · 2020-03-29T08:11:33+00:00

First, and this is important - you do not deserve the awful way this predator treated you.

Hon, this is way above Reddit's pay grade. You really should speak to a therapist about this - this man abused and manipulated you. The people that should have protected you, didn't. And you shouldn't forgive him, he was a predator and manipulator who took advantage of his seniority and power to abuse a child (that isn't a comment on your capability or maturity, just your age.) Going back to him, while not helpful, was completely understandable - you were traumatised by this man and trying to take back some control of the narrative. Please speak to someone IRL, you can get help to process this.

szsunshine · 2020-03-29T14:28:46+00:00

In no way is it ok for a 29 year old to date a 16 year old. That’s why the age of consent in your state is 18!!!

A non-predatory guy would not be interested in a teenager if he were ALMOST 30! The fact that he had no history of this behavior means nothing; it could mean he didn’t have the opportunity to come in close contact with a teenager, it could mean you weren’t the first but nobody reported. It could mean you were the first, but you won’t be the last.

Please see a professional. Even in lockdown you can have phone therapy sessions. If your parents don’t approve of therapy, you can call a sexual assault hotline for resources (although resources may be stretched thin at this point), wait until you attend university and get on the list for mental health services. You can also see if the District Attorney's office has counseling resources for victims.

I’m sorry this happened to you. You deserve better. You are not alone and this is unfortunately very common.

level_up_always · 2020-03-29T21:26:45+00:00

get into therapy. not sure why you would think anyone here would tell you to forgive him because he's a predatory creep. why would you? you deserve to feel angry and violated because that's exactly what happened and he took advantage of your naivete. you have every right to feel that way. keep focusing on school and your healing don't date for a while and consider what your standards and boundaries will be for the future and stick to them. and if there is anyone you can report him too legally or job wise etc. do that. also stop talking to him and block/delete you're just going to re-traumatize yourself every time otherwise. he is 'saying' things because he knows women believe men's words instead of their actions its a manipulation tactic. you shouldn't believe a single thing that comes out of his mouth ever again. again, go no contact for your own safety and well being.

Title	dated older man; need advice
Author	marigold-rain
Upvotes	12
Comments	4
Date	March 29, 2020 1:45 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fqxeri/dated_older_man_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dated-older-man-need-advice.692928 https://theredarchive.com/post/692928

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