It’s going to be back to back weekly reports this weekend, as I’ve only found time to put my thoughts together and write it all out. I’ll link between the two after I have the second post written out too as some things changed very quickly.

Last week was more my usual and comfortable dating pace, work was insane with the business changes happening and I made sure not to overextend myself like the week before. Had two dates (originally three before cancelling one for Sunday) and another chopping and changing of the man-roster.

I’m also feeling very worn down and exhausted from work so I’m not putting myself out there as much this week.

The suitors

Who I’m still talking to from the last recap:

  • Tim - still talking almost daily and he’ll call me after work several times a week to see how my day has been and catch up. He was off to a music festival on the weekend, so no plans for a second date set up yet.

People who have left the rotation:

  • Ken, 33, professional removalist- He’s out of hospital and healing up well after the skin graft was successful. We had a date on Saturday (see below).
  • Jeremy, 36, the self confessed dork - He bored me and he requested twice that I travel an hour to go to a cafe near his house so I stopped responding and unmatched.
  • Josh, 30, the sports guy. He stopped initiating contact so I unmatched with him.

New additions

  • Carlos, 41, marketing executive. Matched on Hinge, so much in common and moved from texting to phone calls quickly as we had so many things to talk about. Extremely attractive, very passionate about his career and working for a major corporation with more career growth potential as well. Went out for dinner on Friday night (see below)
  • Eduardo, 40, sommelier. Matched on Hinge and he asked me out pretty much straight away. Chatted on the phone a few times to set up plans and turns out he’s the sommelier at the restaurant Carlos and I had dinner at the other night. Awkward... My work and family life is going to be insane the next two weeks so we have in-person plans tentatively set for second week of January after I cancelled a Sunday lunch date.
  • 5 or so other guys I’ve matched with on Hinge. Honestly not one of them stand out enough to write out their details and I’m not putting in a whole lot of effort there as I’m not physically available the next few weeks anyway. I’ve told all of them I don’t have time to meet at the moment with very varying responses to my putting them in a holding pattern.

The dates

  • Friday - Met Carlos at an Argentinian restaurant a few suburbs away from me. He set up all the plans well in advance and we spoke on the phone a couple of times coming up to the date where he expressed how much he was looking forward to it. The date itself was a lovely night and we ended up spending six hours eating and talking and getting to know each other. He asked to set up two more dates including taking me out for my birthday. He picked up the tab for both locations we spent time at and he spent the entirety of the night actually being interested in me and who I am - one of the only dates where I haven’t felt like a sounding board for the guy to talk at. I left the date very much looking forward to the seeing him again and he rang me when he got home to thank me for the wonderful time he had with me.
  • Saturday - Ken invited me out to my favourite burger restaurant (that he had made a note of me mentioning in one of our first conversations). We met at midday and my first impression was that he was dressed very slovenly - T-shirt was very worn and threadbare and his hoodie was dirty - and his clothes smelled musty. He had just gotten out of hospital the day before finally, so I mentally clocked it as a problem and moved on for the time being. The problem here however when it became apparent his life is full of drama; work problems, family problems (he called his mother a cunt), ex problems, ex-and-Mother-of-his-child problems. At that point I was mentally checked out as none of that is appealing at all. He also made me pay for my own meal when we ordered by announcing ‘Ladies first!’ and standing about five metres behind me until I had ordered and paid for myself. He asked for a second date and I said no.
  • Sunday - I cancelled this one a few days before we were due to go out. I was weirded out by him working at the restaurant I just had a date at and I also wasn’t feeling like I had the mental and emotional energy to do three dates in a row again. We put a pin in it for now, but he also hasn’t contacted me as much after I cancelled so he might not be interested anymore.

Insights

  • Why would you go to a date if you weren’t prepared for it and then turn up in dirty and disheveled clothes? I feel like Ken had all his priorities wrong and should have been at home relaxing after leaving hospital. The whole date was a shambles.
  • I am mentally and physically exhausted this week and I am just not checking or answering matches from today onwards. I don’t want to be the low effort partner so I’m removing myself from dating apps until after the holiday period.
  • Men are getting really desperate now with Xmas and NY in the next two weeks - the number of matches I’ve gotten and then five minutes later the pressure to meet up immediately has risen exponentially. Everyone is in a rush to meet up, hook up, couple up.
  • I enjoy Hinge as a dating platform as it’s faster to sort and discard potentials and matches, but I am still flabbergasted by the number of people who can’t be bothered filling out a dating profile with any real effort. Writing ‘Ask me’ after a profile prompt shows you are lazy as fuck, probably in all aspects of your life.