Thanks so much for you all posting about what I deserve. Without this community of women looking out for each other’s best interests I would never have known that I deserve more than bare minimum.

I was with this man for about two years. We are in our early/mid 20’s. I started the relationship by completely chasing him (yeah I’ve since learned and will never do that again!), for months he didn’t have enough sex with me (porn sick!), emotionally neglected me, has a drinking problem, and can get very aggressively mean and jealous. He has never been to therapy.

During the breakup he tried to gaslight me. He was telling me he had done everything I asked for, that he was putting in as much effort as he could, and that he disagreed with me about my interpretation of his efforts for me.

This is where FDS came in. I didn’t fight that. I didn’t reason with him. I didn’t try to prove anything. I know in my heart this man was not out to support me, that he would never be marriage material, and the idea of ever having children with him scarred me. He was being honest with me. And I listened. Truly- he knew he was putting as much effort in as he could. And for me- it wasn’t enough. My needs were simply unmet, and he was an emotionally damaged person taking it out out on me. So I left.

I am so thankful I held strong. Really, I had emotionally divested over two months ago. This sub was my only reassurance. I didn’t have a friend to call and walk me through it. Just the stories on here. I am so happy to be free of the stress and anxiety he caused me. This relationship simply put was bringing in more negativity than value. I felt neglected and not cared for. He lacked emotional intelligence and empathy but I stuck around out of fear of being alone. About a month ago an old friend who I dated briefly came into my life, aka made me realize that some men do have empathy. Some men will give it their all. Some men can absolutely spoil someone and show them that unwavering love that I craved, and was sad almost every night knowing I didn’t have with my own partner.

So now, I’m free. Free to just be me, and be by my own side. I’m going to spend this time to be single, and happy, and okay with that. And I’m excited.