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willowgrowingroots Archive

View 26 posts and 652 comments by willowgrowingroots on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
439

RED FLAG 🚨willowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 10:00 PM
237

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:19 AM
117

MOOD FOR LIFEwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:36 AM
107

RED FLAG 🚨willowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 12:15 PM
104

LVM LOGICwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:21 AM
97

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:43 PM
95

FDS MOVIES & TVwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:39 AM
93

SEEKING ADVICEwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 12:17 PM
86

FOREVER GF TALESwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 09:33 PM
85

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 11:45 PM
55

RANTwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 01:21 PM
54

CULTURAL MISOGYNYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:16 PM
36

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:07 AM
22

SEEKING ADVICEwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 03:38 PM
9

SEEKING ADVICEwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:28 PM
6

DISCUSSIONwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:08 PM
4

SEEKING ADVICEwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:38 PM
3

QUEEN SH*Twillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:08 PM
3

SEEKING ADVICEwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:37 PM
1

FDS SUCCESS!willowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:34 PM
1

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 08:59 AM
1

FDS HUMORwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:58 AM
1

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 10:55 AM
1

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 12:12 PM
1

RED FLAG 🚨willowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:33 AM
1

STRATEGYwillowgrowingroots/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 04:04 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

Also notice his words, if he does takes responsibility. My then-bf of 2 years confessed he cheated on his high school gf (that confession was before fds, today I’d break up w him on the spot) and said that he’ll “never ever” do that again because “he felt like a piece of shit.” He, of course, cheated on me later on. Only then I realized that he apologized about his feelings only. Self centered, zero empathy apology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 11:06 AM
5

The gremlins have to get their ego boost somewhere 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 11:00 AM
8

Thiiiiiiis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:49 PM
10

Future human trafficker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:10 AM
50

Chances are he’s lying. Liars lie. Cheaters cheat. Women should leave them before they try to kill you with cancer and/or emotional abuse. Cheaters can fuck each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:58 AM
141

Practice makes perfect. Notice red flags even when you’re not dating and act accordingly. • Friends disrespect you? Cut them out. • Are your colleagues being rude? Keep your distance religiously. • Which food makes you icky? Which SM account mess up your self esteem? Vet your LIFE into peace and serenity. So when you’ll encounter a lvm you will block and delete easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:18 PM
24

I asked if you wanna eat with me, I didn’t say I was gonna pay. 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 09:10 PM
34

This is how I got my first adult job! The interviewer offered me a cup of coffee and I said yes, a few years later (we became friends) she told me that she liked me instantly after that coffee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:28 PM
114

Funny, I was always told that long sleeves, 9 kids and cleaning the house is “divine feminine.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 07:04 AM
12

Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 05:26 PM
2

I appreciate this post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:54 PM
3

Saved this comment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:12 AM
7

Don’t date him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:19 PM
4

Amazing role models you’ve had 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:00 AM
27

Any sign of triangulation. With exes, with acquaintances, with random women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:15 AM
37

Totally relate. I struggle with sexual trauma from everything porn addict narc made me do (and discover on his computer, too). First and foremost, I try not to romanticize the past. I found that much of my sadness was due to romanticizing the era before internet porn. While this is somewhat true, women back then didn’t have the choices we’ve now got (many of them had to stay in sexually abusive/adulterous relationships, for example) so I try to focus on the fact that communities like fds, and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:43 PM
46

It’s usually the ugliest men, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:23 PM
8

Neg + the Russell Brand trim = 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:22 PM
0

I get your point but the comparison isn’t perfect. Watching plots of heavy drug use can influence an audience but they don’t feel the highs of the actual drug. While with GoT you get to see most of the nudity & sex, including incest, of the plot. Some of it is practically (‘softcore’) pornography. So unlike with breaking bad, it’s very close to actually using the drug
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:09 PM
3

Seconded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:03 PM
35

this is where we live, this is my apartment I pay for everything 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:49 AM
11

Jeez 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:40 PM
36

Yes and beware of mirroring - narcissistic behavior. If suddenly your whole histories are quite the same (gosh he always loved french food!) it might indicate serious bluffing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:15 PM
14

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:10 PM
63

Back when I dated a scrote, his good friend got engaged and my then bf told me he (the friend) was planning on going poly in a few years. I couldn’t but burst into tears of laughter and told him ‘who’d want his bald short married ass?!’ My bf was super confused and I took note of another red flag and left shortly after. Needless to say that the now-wife is beautiful and way beyond her high school sweetheart’s league.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:33 PM
88

They desperately need reassurance about their looks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:11 PM
11

Totally not a ramble. What you wrote really resonates with me too. They are awful human beings (if they are human) and I like to remind myself that they doesn’t get to feel the love we feel, ever. That compassion, comfort, real effort of kindness you described — narcs gets to feel (really feel) none of that. They don’t have those depths and therefore, imo, they miss out on life. And girl about your last sentence - “if you allow them” - please do not blame yourself for surviving abuse. You and I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:05 AM
153

Guess it’s okay to put effort for one night spying to get solid proof, it saves you hours of his gaslighting & second thoughts after you leave. Makes leaving easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:43 PM
7

Omg great
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:58 AM
25

What a lousy Peter Pan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:06 AM
1

Couldn’t say it better myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:44 AM
51

He’s a child so he eats at irregular hours and gotta get bathed in order to sleep well. 👶
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:44 PM
22

She is so so so beautiful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:42 PM
25

Gotta love the creepy woman head statue behind him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:39 PM
79

Oh that bottle of shampoo I washed my hands with for 3 months 💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:22 PM
2

Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:19 PM
56

biologically [...] we are apes. Well, women are also programmed to search for other mating partners (even wrote a long comment about it yesterday). We don’t do that due to socialization — so men can control themselves too. it’s entirely virtual. Calling onlyfans ‘virtual’ is being dumb on purpose. Texting your gf 80% of the time is also ‘virtual’. Onlyfans isn’t a one way street like porn, men can contact the woman and ask for specific things. That’s why they like it. And honestly, all of these …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:34 PM
1

I slightly disagree. I think “snooping” is completely okay of you suspect anything (but you should remember they can be sneaky and delete every evidence. Been there). But I myself have a camera roll full of weird photos (I have a hobby to put on crazy streetwear at home, outfit combinations I can’t wear to my job), and hundreds of notes which are like my personal diary. So I wouldn’t let a partner go through my phone, although all of my exes knew the passcode. Am I a hypocrite?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:25 PM
20

I believe they create their bad karma. People who make bad decisions keep making bad decisions. Most of cheater men aren’t rich and famous, they have to navigate through normal life but with a really shitty set of tools: poor impulse control, instant gratification over future investments, bad emotional mechanism, self destructive tendencies including addictions, non existent network of supportive healthy friends. Don’t fully buy into the notion that society is all good with cheaters. As individu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:21 AM
121

“Men”; “girls”. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:56 PM
5

Men piss in public all the time (at least where I live)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:27 PM
11

Yup patriarchy is the form of organized misogyny. Misogyny is its fuel and justification. Sociologists obviously can’t tell for sure when was the first patriarchal society established, but if you accept the theory of evolution than you support the premise that our species did not evolve into having a specific ruling gender nor was is determined in our biology. There are also evidence of ancient matriarchal societies, and it’s ofc also seen in other animals. So patriarchy/misogyny isn’t written i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:22 PM
90

True. That’s a byproduct (or a main incentive) of the patriarchy. Securing sex + children for men. Now we’re stuck with loads of shitty looking, weak and some mentally disturbed men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:04 PM
180

Evolutionary (often called biology) wise, women should mate with as many quality men they can, because: • they cannot know if a certain man is fertile. • they cannot forecast which traits will be the most valuable for their offsprings (will next seasons we’ll be hunting? So the strongest man is the right choice. We‘ll be harvesting apples? The tallest is the right mating partner). Actually, in some cultures, people believed that a child is the offspring of all the men his mother slept with. So s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:28 PM
24

I fully agree with you. (I’m from a not-so-western-country). Leveling up as individuals is required in order to make these political and social changes, worldwide. Leveling up gives women the power to choose better careers & powerful positions. And to better support other women who do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:03 AM
8

Thank you queen! Couldn’t find it myself (probably didn’t use the right terms in google). Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:54 PM
27

The holy grail of males’ (faux) attention
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:48 AM
11

Do you have some good research links in hand?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 09:47 AM
2

Can totally relate to everything you wrote. Stay strong
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:51 PM
5

Sounds like it. He’s never going to change
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:48 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 03:40 PM
2

Would you suggest that book over Simon’s In Sheep’s Clothing? (Planing on ordering some books this Friday and would appreciate your recommendation!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:05 PM
44

“I’m doing bare minimum gimme pornsite awards!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 02:02 PM
2

Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:38 PM
2

9) gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:36 PM
3

Beautifully said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:35 PM
2

Gotta love it when they show their scrotaudacity up front
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:30 PM
3

I so adore your strength to look at this matter straight in the eye and the fact you don’t gaslight yourself like men pushes us to do. After dumping the trashbag of a man, please remember that you have gone through major trauma that should be addressed. The website bloom for women have a nice online free course about this kind of sexual betrayal, and while it’s sort of pa-apologist (they don’t push for breaking up but focus on the healing) you can still get some good info there. If therapy is av…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:00 PM
4

Yup kind of the things you realize in hindsight after dumping the PA. They do not respect women and you figure fully how only a good few months after nc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:56 PM
3

I’m sorry for your loss..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:55 PM
6

True words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:53 PM
6

Projection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:39 PM
41

Trauma bonding..and I guess zero support system from her family as they let her date a 22 yo man when she was 16
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:34 PM
25

Rotted by porn. Made selfish by porn. They can’t enjoy their partner’s enjoyment anymore. Sad, pathetic way to live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:29 PM
3

Ditto.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:27 PM
11

I have a good friend who’s a complete night owl and so she shifted her career to working with clients abroad, making very good money. People (including her father!) still consider her lazy because she wakes up at noon. Go figure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:23 PM
14

True. He was ready to lose you but got you back so now he’ll be careless about so many other dealbreakers (after the first love bombing). And he will cheat again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:02 PM
1

Just saw your reply bow but you are very welcome and thank you for your kind words
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 11:28 AM
7

Ex was all “this is such a special time of the month let me order your favorite food” every single period, and yet he was a cheater and a covert abusive narc. So I learned that a healthy period approach (read: bare minimum) isn’t an indicator of HV. Sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:16 PM
41

Wish I could buy this sweater and wear it to a family gathering, my pickme aunts & scrotish uncles will faint
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:13 PM
64

Lol lovely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:11 PM
12

Sis are u me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:08 PM
6

This is beautifully designed btw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:54 PM
28

Cutie!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:04 PM
11

A scrote I dated pushed for anal in his covert ways and once told me: “you might enjoy it, you know.” I couldn’t put my finger on why this sentence was so fucked up until I found fds and unlearned years of gaslighting — he was implying he wants a sexual act he will 100% enjoy and I will MAYBE enjoy, and I should be grateful for being given this chance of pleasuring him while maybe enjoying an act! No. No. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:13 PM
10

If the therapist lacks ethics it’s a way to keep that couple paying. Women are used to being gaslighted and after a gaslighting sess most of them will think “maybe I AM not okay to my husband.” But men never accept their feelings invalidated next to a woman, so they’ll just refuse to continue with that said therapist. Even if the therapist really wants to help, some of them believe in traditional gender roles/have these beliefs in an unconscious level. Or, they get that the only way something, A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:50 PM
4

Not op but this is super helpful, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:04 PM
11

Triangulation. Trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 09:44 PM
49

Yeah you never forget this kind of shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 09:43 PM
12

Queen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:33 PM
10

Women are not in charge of males’ behavior. Unless you’re his actual mom and even then your responsibility ends by 18 and is equally shared with his other parent if there’s one/more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:31 PM
2

That’s awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:51 AM
23

Ladies please, she wasn’t a pickme she was in an abusive relationship. Which can make anyone trauma bonded (this is part of why we vet). It might look like pickme behavior while it’s actually fight/flight mode in which abusers put you for years. Diego was abusive, cheating is abuse and he did more than “just” cheating. She made beautiful&sad artwork like “Diego on My Mind” which shows the trauma bond and how she was held emotionally captive by him. She wasn’t a pickmeisha before an abusive man u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 07:15 AM
10

TW Queen I’ve been there. These men use igram because they like the idea of little to no consent. After all even the so called models or influencers post for reasons which aren’t linked to jacking off. The fact it’s borderline pornography & these women (seemingly) aren’t fully aware of that, IS the (fake) appeal. Also the fact they technically can reach out to these women is appealing. Cheating effect. This is one step before using photos of acquaintances, friends & pornography of women who didn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:47 PM
94

I have a tendency to ramble so apologies [...] She’s often gaslighted by her partner to believe that she’s not coherent & so her feelings aren’t valid when he lies, manipulates and picks fights. Then she apologizes to calm his temper/silent treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:58 PM
53

Nevertheless, they see their daughters as a proxy of their own body. Not as independent individuals. So even this is not real empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:52 PM
10

No one deserves abusers though..please drop her a hint if you can
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:29 PM
98

Girl even when it is as perky. Don’t buy into the lies, nothing is ever enough for a pornsick. Not our bodies to be blamed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 03:18 PM
7

Strong strong woman. Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 05:38 PM
15

Yup. Many of them are so clueless they’ll never fully understand the amounts of sophistication and effort. Not worth trying to impress anyone but ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:44 PM
8

So..eating the cheapass scrote?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:38 PM
49

No surgery shaming no makeup shaming. Yes men love women who put effort and money into their appearance and lifestyle, with a good taste and creativity they’ll never have. They shame us bc they can’t afford it and they’re afraid a woman who knows her value will run away from their lv ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:09 PM
45

There’s a special blessing for things we make out of love. 🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:19 PM
3

Your second paragraph is my ex & his family to a t so it resonates very much. Grown ups do walk around harmed by their FOOs, myself included. Yet when this harm is knowingly directed onto another person, the only one to be blamed is the abuser. Otherwise we assume people don’t have free will and/or full responsibility for their actions. There’s no doubt my ex’s serial cheating and lying flourished thanks to his mama’s 0 boundaries and loads of admiration, and I’m angry with her too. But as a gro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:06 PM
26

Women (or other men, but this is a notion that targets especially women) are not responsible for the LV behavior of a grown up man. Enablers are bad but the main issues are the abusers. Don’t let them gaslight you into blameshifting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 12:32 PM
42

Do not weight HV vs LV qualities. You wouldn’t weight the amount of noodles vs the amount of flys in your soup, right? You’d eat something else. Drop men in the first sign of LV. You are doing mental gymnastics which resolves in numbing your instincts. [many hookups when] he was in a frat Either heavily influenced by men to act out sexually and/or prone to blameshifting. always the one to break up My ex was that guy. Not because women wanted him so badly but because his ego wouldn’t let a woman …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 09:20 AM
5

Wowwwwww talking about cheap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:23 AM
19

How much NVM is a father who doesn’t insist the mother of his child takes a good shower everyday + will take her to a psychiatrist if she doesn’t want to shower since it might be a sign of postpartum depression!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:00 AM
101

Agreed but serial “serious” daters are the same sh*t show in a covert manner. Most men can’t get casual sex easily due to their looks or location or effort and having gfs is their way to secure getting their Ds wet. LVMs also seek women’s emotional labor and admiration and it’s available only via dating. Never date a serial dater, especially if they had to heal from their last relationship and instead jumped to another one. Edit: serial daters can also be VERY pornsick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:50 AM
3

So true. Plus raising our standards per se.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 09:16 PM
9

Glad you got out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:17 PM
7

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:32 PM
6

I really love your perspective. Both unapologetic and optimistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:20 PM
69

According to the abstract of the study: (1) it is based on self assessments of the porn users (~200 of them). Not their partners. (2) it seems that the main point of the assessments was to document if the couple had sex in the days after porn consumption. Having sex does not equal good sex life / feeling desired, safe, etc, as we all know. (3) it was a 35 day study. This is not the way to learn about the long lasting effects of pornography (and indeed they intended to study the short term, and n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 08:04 PM
26

I wish you’ll get it brain tattooed in a good way and never by a traumatic event 🧚🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:48 PM
8

You go to parenting forums (or may I say subreddits) and scroll through. They offer some glimpses to the alternate universe in which you fall for a NVM 👹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:20 PM
139

Never forgive an affair ladies. Second time always follows. There is .00001% chance he’s a unicorn who can redeem himself. Most men will never grow the empathy they fundamentally lack (as shown by cheating), and will just go more undercover. In the meantime you’ll lose all your respect and passion towards the cheater (except for trauma bonding “passion”) + you’ll never feel safe and enough in your own home. But no judging her or any women who stayed (trauma bonds does that) & she’s a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:13 PM
2

Totally. Not to mention that some men will focus on their “hurt” after being (rightfully) accused of hurting the women—as a blameshifting tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:55 PM
69

You also take really good photos queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:33 PM
6

And two times = a pattern. Lundy B mentions it in WDHDT about cheating and imo it applies to all conscious behaviors. “Pattern” is a confusing term and some women will spend years contemplating how many times makes a pattern. In the meantime, due to accepting red flags, their intuition grows weaker & attachment grows harder. Two times is a pattern, don’t wait to be hurt for the third time. E: typo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:25 PM
65

<insert pic of a tanned finger 🖕🏼>
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:30 PM
539

Ladies he knows. He knows he knows he knows. He knows he’s bringing zero value to the table, he’s just trying to exhaust a powerful woman to the point she dates him/gets upset which is a power move. Putting these guys back in their place is k so long as you don’t waste your precious energy & goodwill. THEY ARE NOT STUPID THEY ONLY PLAY DUMB. He’s not really learning / changing his views, because he already KNOWS he doesn’t have any justification to LeAd “submissive” women. She’s a teacher and a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:02 PM
6

Perfect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:58 AM
2

This is great! Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:04 AM
108

he was good about stopping [makeout] when asked The bar... it’s..it’s.....⚰️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:59 AM
9

Right! But do look somewhat aloof. Men take women’s intense listening as a huge sign of romantic interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:42 AM
4

How did you tap into your dark side? I’m looking for resources about Jungian shadow work and would love a recommendation if you have one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:38 AM
2

Amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:17 AM
3

He’ll be horrible to any woman. Those who’re capable of seriously harming their SO lack empathy and (given that they aren’t 15) it will change only with years of intense inner work. And they rarely dare to do that work. It’s hard&saddening and there’s always someone who’ll take their uncensored crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:09 AM
3

Saved your comment. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 09:05 AM
21

Same for my mom. Brainwashed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:59 AM
17

Perfectly articulated
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:43 AM
8

The best question is silence. Sit comfortably and smile, people usually fill the gaps in conversations in a way that exposes their real selves. Plus, that way you don’t give too much info he can use to pretend he’s your kind of HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:55 PM
18

How did you find out the truth eventually?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 07:00 PM
6

Ditto that x1000.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:34 PM
3

Amazing. Demon ex read maybe 20 pages and he was indeed king of pretentiousness. I remember reading one of his Jonathan Safran Foer books and almost barfing at the NV plot & the fact ex adored it. 🤢 edit: though I loved other books by foster wallace, but that was pre fds so maybe they’re bad plot wise, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:23 PM
4

He was also a cheater! Lovely fella!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:13 PM
7

I would’ve probably stayed for a week+ just to mess up with his mind with all kind of dark humor but I’m not a role model in that case 🤖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:07 PM
6

Thank you for restoring some of my hope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:59 PM
7

What are the red flags in Infinite Jest?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:29 PM
5

So much this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:28 PM
12

Oh lordy I’d run like the wind (I’m Jewish)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:27 PM
19

Mygawd. Don’t want to be a reading snob but they can at least have a decent answer in hand. Like “I sadly don’t have much time to read but I’m into <insert interesting hobby>”...😫
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:26 PM
46

This quote is vision-board level
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:13 PM
33

We should also distinguish pickmeishas from abuse victims better. Some women (both irl and rich/famous) were clearly trauma bonded over physical or mental covert/overt abuse, including cheating, public humiliation etc. The blame in their case should be held solely against the abuser + his enablers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:51 PM
7

You are a very good daughter to your mom🤍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:38 PM
8

He’s a loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:34 PM
7

Even after we have solid proof men gaslight us into thinking we’re overreacting (to cheating texts!!!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:28 PM
24

It’s unfair you had to do all the domestic labor during your marriage but on the brighter side, this fact is going to make his current life worse. He’s going to be (1) astonished about the amount of labor needed in his single life (it takes time to set in), (2) he’ll be a pain in the ass of EVERY woman from the very beginning. As someone else here noted, he is doing to crawl back & the surprise of domestic labor will bring his breaking point quicker. Kar-ma!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:18 PM
7

How do you get over that scenario though? Have had a HV crush, declined his date suggestion and later accepted my ex back. Who then cheated. Saddening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:05 PM
29

Sis the age gap is a much bigger issue. Such age gaps establishes permanent power differences. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, it’s good (and he feels more HV) in the beginning but the power moves slowly sets in & they aren’t getting better with age. It also means that maybe he’s looking specifically for such power dynamics. Combine that with the money (=power) issue..not good 😐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:44 PM
173

On paper he’s great. Poor woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 03:19 PM
17

Minus the high end parties I guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:29 PM
4

It’s the same mixing of terminology and definition. “Non working” in the original comment meant to describe a woman who runs the household+children without an official job title. I get that it’s a distinction more visible to a non native speaker (like me) and if someone used “non working” in my language of origin I’d get angry quickly. Looking at the post history was an emphasis on the fact that she’s not a pickme but was rather misunderstood. On another note, I think we should call SHAMs “worki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:00 PM
14

We’re here to build each other up, not tear fellow FDSers down. She called SHAMs non working as a way to distinguish domestic and non domestic jobs. A valid terminology that isn’t necessarily linked to mentality (especially for a non native english speaker). You can go check her post history, only yesterday she posted something you’d 100% agree on. And even non identical values should be treated with respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:08 AM
21

After he loses weight he’s gonna dump her because he could find someone HoTtEr
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:44 AM
21

Some of the biggest scrotes I know take std tests regularly (and flaunt about it as if it’s an indicator of a fulfilling single sex life). So don’t confuse healthcare with high value, it doesn’t always match. Sadly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:20 AM
44

He could’ve at least hold his stomach in for the sake of the photo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:06 AM
29

Imagine replying to data about the global environmental crisis by saying “not all humans.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:00 AM
19

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:57 AM
73

She can also give him a nanny + surrogate bill. Let him catch up on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 07:38 AM
32

E.g answering “haha let’s vibe!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:45 PM
147

Is it like a reversed psychology negging?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:43 PM
9

They have 0 idea about what you like because they have no empathy during sex/ after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 08:12 PM
147

You detach in the first sign of jealousy. Better be safe than sorry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:26 PM
22

Take advice from those who (in your opinion) master the field of advice needed. Take relationship advice only from those who have a HV relationship. Imagine someone who dresses awfully yet criticizes your style. Would you take their opinion seriously? Would you ask for further info on how and where to go shopping?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 11:27 PM
2

Tbh most people cheat out of low self esteem. Especially when it’s long term cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:49 PM
1

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:45 PM
7

I envy ya’ll dads so much. Mine groomed me to take abuse & suggested I’ll forgive my cheating ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:41 PM
1

Oh sheesh most of them are pickmes in their 40-50s who’re enslaved by men for decades. They aren’t gonna learn soon I suppose. One of them is actually a betrayed spouse (as far as the office gossip goes) and she seems to hate every nicely looking women. I wish she’d know I’m her biggest ally, not the threat she was conditioned to fear of. But she is my direct manager so 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:28 PM
3

Thank you. It’s never blunt enough to involve HR unfortunately. Which is frustrating since they have some power over my career path. It is also frustrating that it makes me relay more on my male managers. I feel like a radfem hypocrite due to my inability to otherwise avoid all pickmes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:24 PM
18

Esther Perel is a shitshow, sorry. Cheating is NV behavior and I’m being very polite here. It taxes the betrayed woman’s mental and physical health severely in a way that takes years to heal, if ever. Perel is a cheater apologist which is worth a ton of $$$ since her books, sessions and videos are all handy tools for abusive NVM to manipulate and gaslight their partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:12 PM
8

Girl I feel you. Was cheated on, lied to and whatnot, while I was the most trust giving & easy going gf. My answer (for us both) is obviously easier said than done, but here’s what I now know: (1) underlying issues always resurface. My ex was a master manipulator but his true colors showed regardless. No one, even the most toxic, can hide big (or emotionally big) secrets for a long period of time. Your gut will catch it, sooner or later. If you let your intuition work for you in others aspects o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:50 AM
8

🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:32 AM
28

They have boring, pathetic lives. No goals except social status, zero self introspection. Such a sad way to live and collect memories.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:03 AM
27

Theoretically speaking people can change, but real remorse will include taking full responsibility and specifically adding that the other party is not under any obligation to forgive/respond. Since proper internal change takes time and effort, I would take any apology that was made in less than two years (since the last hurtful event) with a serious pinch of salt. Having said that, most people who treat others badly do so because they lack empathy and therefore they are also less likely to desir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 09:06 PM
7

Totally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:07 PM
31

You can also never tell if (any) porn was created with full consent and non exploitative terms. I might even assume that “alternative” looking women (read: normal) are more exposed to this kind of exploitation when in need for money. Edit: even if it’s women owned it might be a cover for men owned brands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:01 PM
1

Super interesting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:26 PM
37

Very fucked up. Sorry you had to suffer his presence as a teen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:19 PM
11

I remember the linkedin story. That man was a study case of scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:16 PM
14

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:59 PM
3

Please elaborate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:15 AM
16

I think they know they aren’t controlled by marriage. Honestly most of them think they’ll encounter a beautiful young women when they hit 45 and divorce their 45 yo wife. They have easy exits, they are not as afraid as they act. But they pretend in order to get a forever gf / a bangmaid who’s thankful he was BrAvE enough to settle down at 30+.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:52 PM
23

Spot on. We need to see romantic relationships as a part of society’s function. Call out both toxic and plain lazy behaviors. LVMs are a burden on society both by not contributing & by sucking the lives out of women who genuinely want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:49 PM
15

There’s good advice at chumplady.com. It’s a blog for betrayed spouses but can be very handy to any separation with kids (especially in the US). Best of luck sis, you are doing the right thing for the safety of your children and for your future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:59 PM
50

Yup yup yup. I apply FDS to my friends, which is something I did without knowing but now it’s easier to articulate. • I only friend HV women, with ambition, goals and self esteem. • I cut off pickmes, they poison my views & are energy vampires about their bfs (when trauma is involved I’ll be there 100% but when it’s a first date scrote x100, I can’t). • First red flag — she’s out. That includes: lying, gaslighting, being mean to someone weaker than her, gossiping about mutual friends (meaning sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:51 PM
10

Love bombed me for over a year! But he did dropped the biggest red flag in the 6 mont h mark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:31 AM
10

Great post. Would like to add that some therapists are enablers. Some personality disordered men benefit from therapy, by twisting the therapist’s views& advice against their victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 09:20 AM
10

Impulsive shopping & following cravings. Driving an hour to get a special dessert, out of an impulse after a full restaurant dinner, seemed cute. Now I can tell it shows lack of self regulation and..well..he cheated in all sorts of craves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:16 AM
30

My ex would run away fast
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:01 AM
11

My own father conditioned me to tolerate male abuse and objectification. He gaslighted me better than society ever did about men and their incentives. I’m sure the dancing incident you describe wasn’t a one time thing, and would actually look into it carefully in therapy if you can do so. Anyway, what your father said is 100% bs and may even be one of the reasons you are more on alert than other women. I’m glad you are alert, I myself believed the gaslighting and so tolerated abusive relationshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:18 PM
22

The porn sick dead eyed look can piss me off. Before covid, when an extremely rude man gave me this look (usually at the bus station, standing super close to me) I used to pretend I’m checking if my water bottle was sealed by “accidentally” pouring some water on his shoes. It was only when other people were around so I’d be safe. The look was gone immediately and that was always so much fun
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:10 PM
79

Leveling up is hard &constant work. Tearing women’s self esteem and making them settle for an ugly ass is easier thanks to thousands of years of successful patriarchy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:03 PM
6

I‘m only good at it thanks to reading vetting posts on fds and with time I see it more clearly in my everyday life. It’s great to sharpen this tool, easier getting rid of LVMs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:59 PM
43

What do you queens think about “you’re perfect” as a compliment? Lately I’ve been thinking it manifests unrealistic expectations, which then leads to devalue (when real relationship struggles kicks in). Or maybe I’m over analyzing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:02 PM
21

Perfectly articulated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:51 AM
16

And wax 60% of his body
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:54 AM
31

🥛💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:43 PM
120

The 30s question was a neg. He is trying to lower your self esteem so you’d date his old ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:08 PM
3

True. Your safety comes first OP. If you want her to believe you without contacting, you can write down some facts that he probably didn’t tell people other than you&her (but not something overly personal so it won’t trigger the sh*t out of his poor wife)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:01 PM
9

I’d tell. You have their address so you can drop a letter, preferably when his car isn’t there & the wife seems to be at home. So he won’t find the letter and discards it. I would write it anonymously as if someone saw you two together and snitched. That way, if she shows him the letter, he cannot blame you and you’re safe. If you want to you can include your actual first name and email (or google phone number) by pretending the sender knows you. So the wife can contact you safely too. I’m sorry…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:54 PM
32

And there will be a man who wants you, then don’t, then wants you, then don’t. He DOES NOT deserve you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:45 PM
26

👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 07:12 PM
57

They realize & they doesn’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:52 PM
23

Minus the pregnancy aura
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:39 PM
153

Thanks fifty shades of grey.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:02 PM
8

Isn’t it Amanda Bynes though? 🤔🧐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:39 PM
24

My two cents: • academic positions are performative (there’s a literal audience & you’re performing solo). It attract narcs and attention seekers. • professors are authoritative figures to young people. A career which appeals to men with low self esteem and controlling tendencies. • loads of young women. Who seem to adore you. Professors confuse it with their actual attractiveness (and/or intentionally seek to inflate this fantasy). • highly competitive work field which requires putting your ego…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:29 PM
8

Cat dad must be a HVM 🐈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:16 PM
6

I don’t see how she’s still in a mess. They have separated, she isn’t reaching out. Now it’s the healing part in which most people have to vent to get validation. Honestly I wish every woman who’s recovering from such traumas a male caused will seek help on fds and not on other subs. I’d rather see a few more rants daily than having a woman thrown back to a NVM due to the bad advice on Reddit. But you are right in the sense that this is a dating sub and therefore maybe a fds sub for women who re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 10:08 PM
6

Op please check out Dr Ramani on youtube, you’re bf sounds like my ex who was a narcissist. I am sorry you are going through this, it sucks, but you were totally right to leave that cheater—they never change. He’s NVM. You’re a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:14 PM
7

Talking excessively to gain validation about the trauma may look unhealthy to an outside observer, but it is actually one of the most common & productive mechanisms to detach from a traumatic source. Some people have many friends to vent to, some people have only got Reddit. It hurts to see the amount of posts about this POS man, but if you’d see the amount of texts victims of trauma bonding send their friends, months after the breakup, your jaw will drop. Speaking about the trauma repeatedly, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:04 PM
4

Congrats queen 🍾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:50 PM
18

Wow you’ve articulated perfectly something I felt for years but didn’t know how to say myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:49 PM
68

Hope that’s a troll mirroring male depravity 🤞🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:57 PM
11

Search articles about grey rock at chumplady.com & read the comments. It’s about cheaters (usually with kids) but the descriptions will give you a heads up about the annoying things he might say and how (not) to react. Edit: website address.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:05 PM
6

Loved your comment & saved it for future reference!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:51 AM
37

Men who are intimidated by the so called “masculine woman” are insecure af and will look for external validation constantly. They obsess their male friends and flirt with women everywhere just to make sure they’re enough of a “man” to get the attention. They also neg about your body, wardrobe & everything not FeMiNiNe enough (aka ig model to porn actress’ looks). On top of that, they are usually the least masculine looking/behaving men out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:12 AM
13

Their brains are damaged due to porn. Seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:05 PM
2

Oh ew. Maybe he smelled the pickmeness and that drew him. Anyway yes please be careful with telling her something that can directly go to him/other coworkers. And ew again about the stripclubs (I’m bi and it has nothing to do with being bi, only with pleasing men).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:01 PM
53

Ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 08:04 PM
1

A really helpful message. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:56 PM
62

I have two cousins, one who’s married to an awful man and one who is single (35+). I have so much respect to my single cousin. She’s fun, holds an amazing career and she looks so good and radiates happiness. The married cousin however.. I do not envy her. She deals with a lazy cheap ass man, who never changed a diaper of their 3 yo. I know some people in your family (LVMs+pickmes) make you feel like you’re less than. But believe me that HV people respect you for sticking to your standards. But m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:00 PM
1

So true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:38 AM
15

Men who do that are trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:51 AM
13

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 09:46 AM
2

Loved it. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:48 AM
2

That’s 100% valid and you should not feel dragged below surface. Cutting it is sad but necessary...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 06:31 AM
2

If she has narc tendencies, please do run away. I know it’s hard running from it and am sending a big hug. On the other hand, if you suspect she’s being abused—there is a very relevant part in Why Does He Do That where Lundy B is approaching these (draining) situations. Dm me and I’ll quote it for you. In this part of WDHDT he also suggests reading a book called To Be an Anchor in the Storm which supposed to help saving the sanity of friends+family in these specific situations. Anyways, you are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:50 PM
19

I wouldn’t ask any deliberate questions because men will say what you want to hear. I’ll observe how he’s acting regarding other people’s (including your) feelings. If something about cheating comes up in convo I’d listen carefully, though men lie all the time so he might sound judgmental while thinking the opposite. BUT if a friend of his cheated and he’s still a friend- red flag. And ofc if he’s making up excuses for any cheating scrote, real or celebrity 🚩 edit: and of course if the man cheat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:24 PM
93

Totally not alone in this. Performative sex/iness takes loads of energy that we can focus on our physical joy &/ enjoying the hotness of our partner, rather than being (even more) under the male gaze. Very hard to unlearn though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:54 PM
46

LV friends = he’s LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:50 PM
30

“I’ve had [[[[imaginary]]]] girls tell me......”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:46 PM
43

Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:45 PM
52

He’s that man who wants to have sex in front of a mirror but instead of looking at his woman from new angles he’s focused on looking at his nasty ass 🥴🤭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:40 PM
62

How she keeps so calm?🤯 If I was her and he was saying that “it’s OuR fAuLt???” I’d throw my glass of water at his mic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:11 PM
5

Do you mean like the way some parents raise their daughter to be a “mini wife” of her brothers/father? Yes it’s sick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:02 PM
23

This is the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:48 PM
24

I ditto the suggestion to not make another move and to observe his eagerness. Though I must say that if you’ll feel a constant notion that this is problematic—it may be a good, intuitive indicator that something about the guy is off. I’d cut it sooner rather than later, so you won’t dismiss further red flags and get attached.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 09:00 AM
6

What an ass. Sorry you hd to see that. Barf on that man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:56 AM
6

I laughed very hard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:34 AM
8

Something about his pic is so disturbing and he looks completely unreliable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:27 AM
23

This is really good to know. I went on one couples therapy session and he didn’t want to proceed. I was so sad as if it could help “us”! Best help was to block & delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:24 AM
2

Thank you 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 06:15 AM
2

🤍🤍🤍❤️❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:39 PM
1

Trying..thanks sister
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:31 PM
41

The amount of trauma bonding. And such a poor example for other women who were cheated on. Oof
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:39 PM
28

I think she’s posing in front of a mirror which stands in the middle of the room. (Edited for clarity)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:33 PM
13

100%. Men are just playing dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:27 PM
10

Lmao!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:25 PM
20

It does come from the same origin (Antonius)! Btw the most famous Antonius, Mark Anthony, was an actual piece of sh*t to his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:25 PM
1

That’s a great outlook, achieving my goals as a double win like this. Really needed that motivation. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:21 PM
1

Thank you sis. I’ll sure try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:20 PM
22

That’s a valid argument, but I’m personally not supporting men who understand women’s issues only when it comes to their family members. It implies a sense of possessing (women). Not a real humane, unbiased perspective. Men who understand misogyny only when it affects their (“their”) loved ones are, for me, only a bit above complete trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:17 PM
25

Oh my gawd. I’m so sorry you had to see that. What an awful man. Please consider watching the online course about sexual trauma (it’s specifically about porn) at Bloom For Women. It’s free and I found it to be really helpful. The things he did are no joke and can take a real toll on your mental health. This society is awful. Edit: and you’re a queen for walking away. I know it’s so hard with all the social gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:11 PM
32

You are very correct. White women enjoy (“”) the protection of the patriarchy much more than WOC do. I think u/Hipster-Aurora was saying that on this very background, misogynists love to reframe their misogyny as if it’s against the fact that the woman is white (and not, simply, a woman). For example the whole “Karen” trend which was misogyny and fatshaming, but presented as if it’s because these women are middle class white ladies. But this is just one stupid internet trend, and the phrase OP d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:42 PM
69

The audacity! You look hot!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:03 PM
35

& if he was really into understanding the full social and psychological impact of porn he would have googled it already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:01 PM
76

Do not entertain that conversation. MEN KNOW exactly what you know. HE KNOWS why porn is wrong. Men seek to exhaust you while watching you bend over backwards in the sake of debate. It’s also a way to lure you into degrading sex talks (talking about him watching endless naked women, even if you’re are not into that specific man, is still degrading).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:57 PM
1

Thank you, it was so hard to leave!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:46 PM
1

Feeling it, thank you sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:44 PM
4

You are so right about the best of a man being presented in the early dating (he was a red flags parade and I was sooo young and inexperienced). I will make a list of his red flags (I’ve being waiting to feel better so I won’t trigger myself harshly), and adding the “why I ignored” part is brilliant! Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:44 PM
2

He’s all blocked and deleted and I have only one friend that might know anything about him (they remotely work together), and I should make it clear that they should not tell me anything new about him at all. That will ease the stress of hearing anything about him. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:33 PM
1

Thank you sister. The part about non linear process was especially important for me to hear today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:31 PM
2

Insightful, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:30 PM
3

You are totally right. He’s all fake. Cannot believe I still buy into it somethimes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:29 PM
4

He’s all blocked! I’ll try to keep pushing the thoughts of him away, you are correct. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:29 PM
4

Sounds like a great exercise (and a great book)! Will try in a few months, just to be safe (I don’t want him back but also try to avoid hardcore triggers rn). Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:25 PM
3

Thank you sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:24 PM
9

It’s confusing. On the one hand I don’t want to give him any mental attention whatsoever. On the other hand, I’m still recovering (breakup was in November) and that includes figuring out in hindsight all the abuse/gaslighting tactics. Not intentionally, it’s mostly just pops up like “oh, that’s another red flag I missed”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:23 PM
2

Yes I can, which is a relief, hope I’ll manage to do so while still healing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:21 PM
117

“And see if we can stand each other.” The bar is in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 01:08 PM
3

What an entitled jerk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:55 AM
14

I remember the time demon ex made a meatloaf and after we both ate our equal share he just..grabbed the last piece (a big one!) without even proposing to share it. He didn’t pay attention for a sec and his mask slipped, reveling his entitled ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:45 AM
8

I knew his ex wanted him back VERY MUCH. Did you know that because he told you? If so, it is inconsiderate at best and manipulative (or a lie) at worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:26 AM
6

A form of triangulation maybe... Lovebombing a new woman while thinking about the ex?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:24 AM
26

Thank you, and all other mods, for taking the time to sort out comments like this. After wasting nearly two years on the reconciliation industrial complex bar-in-hell advice, finding fds with it’s clear pro women logic is a sanity & health saver.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:46 PM
56

Ofc you don’t match as partners, you are a queen (who also broke the trauma bond he built) and he’s a piece of shit. I bet his life is falling apart while you thrive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:39 PM
17

Queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:17 PM
4

Good for you for placing that boundary. It’s super hard, but worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:37 PM
40

You rock queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 06:33 PM
3

Oh my. Growing up with a pickme sister (usually combined with a pickme mom) really make some of the worst NVMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:40 PM
4

He’s already a NVM, no more years needed. Cheating is the definition of negative value, it’s putting the victim in a severe mental (&sometimes physical) danger. Cheating is abuse. She obviously have to leave this pos. But as someone who was cheated on, let me tell you, it is such a shock that the victim usually comprehend with mental gymnastics to allow the trauma bond to last. And the fact he’s bulling her into it (along with his lovely parents) sadly helps the mental gymnastics. As her friend,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:33 PM
16

Look at the TL;DR he wrote. Zero mentions of the fact that she works the same amount as he does PLUS doing ALL the household chores. I wanna scream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 01:52 PM
9

So many NVMs who claim to be hetero are dying to kiss their “bros.” They crave this validation from men and men only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:10 PM
6

The porn watchers are sick beyond our understanding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:03 PM
5

Any brothers? I’d be a perfect sister in law ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:02 PM
3

I used to tiptoe around when rejecting men but now if someone’s asking me out I just say that I’m already dating someone atm. Tiptoeing for their egos isn’t worth your energy and you’re usually the safest if they think there’s another guy is in the picture for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:54 PM
5

I was about to defend sock puppets !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:47 PM
5

Glad you did sister! Reflection is super important to process & reassure none of the abuse was your fault. Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:20 PM
7

I never watched porn but I assume they are, based on how (sick) men describe porn actresses on other “normal” “funny” places online I used to look at, pre fds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:17 PM
8

Every word. Been there, it’s hell on earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:51 PM
5

Ooo I’m coming to your island as soon as you open 🌴 🧳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:51 PM
202

Millennial men also expect porn actress tier beauty (nAtUrALLy ofc) for their porn sick un groomed dcks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:02 PM
78

The man is the accused party. Flat out. Edit: This kind of sick behavior cause a serious shock to the victim which creates trauma bonding. Such behaviors are also usually preformed by men who were abusive to begin with (covertly/overtly) so the woman is already weakened mentally and isolated socially. Combined with the social brainwash that men have “needs” and that a woman should “communicate”—very little women flee in such cases. Most women (outside of fds) are not informed about this kind of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:16 AM
8

Lol sister I feel called out :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:13 AM
3

Beautiful comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:00 AM
49

This. Leave before he’ll fck with your head and you’re trauma bonded. It doesn’t get any better, and no explanation is needed (he KNOWS what he’s doing).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:48 AM
1

For me it became excessive when (in hindsight) I was severely gaslighted by my (then) partner, and moreover after dday when I was in a state of shock. Journaling did help to put some sense into my new & awful reality, but when in became compulsive it made me go in circles. What I really needed was an outside perspective and someone reliable to talk to, except for myself (===therapy). Journaling can keep you quite isolated with your thoughts, and doing so excessively is as bad as any compulsive s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:29 AM
1

I barely listen to podcasts lately, though I tried the Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast a week ago but didn’t get hooked.. I think I’m not a podcasts lady :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 08:11 AM
21

Abusive af. Glad you’re out of there. Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:45 PM
2

Great article, thank you for posting it here sis! You’re strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:30 PM
2

This book sounds great! Is it also useful after you’ve successfully left & blocked the narc?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:28 PM
14

I don’t have Tik Tok but wish someone will put a link to this thread for her to see!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:03 PM
26

They are so gorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:56 PM
3

Journaling is whatever you want it to be! I personally write a diary, sometimes in more specific detail, sometimes very short and informative (I also heard about the bullet journaling but didn’t try it). Some days I’m not in the mood to write but I want some feelings out, so I record my thoughts on my phone. A good friend of mine likes to draw and write a few words here and there as a journal. The key is that it‘s your private asset so it’s a safe place, and I also wouldn’t recommend journaling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:15 PM
27

I flat out told my ex that whoever watches porn can’t call themselves a feminist. He shut his mouth & dumped my a few weeks later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:43 PM
3

Just imagine..one day Onlyfans will be considered vintage and moderate (barf)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:37 PM
5

Yes sister! I luckily watch only one tv show at the moment so I decided to finish this season (so I won’t be tempted to do so later) while I look for a non male gaze show to watch next. My main visual media intake is usually the cinema, and in my area they are still closed so it’s less of a struggle right now. Internet wise, I only watch my fave women youtubers and go through comments on women’s subs only. Books are my main issue—I really don’t want any pickme books, so I started the detox with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:35 PM
13

Usually day to day issues and practical tips, from gynecologist questions to decor. Overall a safe space with an occasional pickme but nothing more serious than that pickme friend you can keep at arm’s length. I personally left this sub because I’m doing a more strict male gaze detox atm. I stopped consuming any media written or directed by men or pickmes (except for financial news). May sound extreme but I journal through and it’s doing wonders to my perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:46 PM
17

I literally just left this sub after seeing this post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 01:35 PM
33

I’m not a big fan of burlesque or of glamorizing vintage pickmeishas. But I don’t judge Dita since I assume she needed/needs to handle the mental mess this Mansom creep caused. He is, allegedly, the person Evan Rachel Wood is referring to here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 11:56 AM
7

a normal person will feel unease putting a little kid in front of a car like this. It’s not promoting a safe family experience. It’s dangerous, a potential driver can’t see the child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 11:08 AM
2

Will do! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:48 AM
22

A poor girl named Must
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:13 PM
44

Actually! The richer, prettier & more famous a woman is—NVM are more likely to envy and hurt her. Cheating is, after all, a manifestation of low self esteem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:01 PM
134

Oh no. They know it’s wrong how they behave to women. They play dumb to get away with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:55 PM
28

Also if he (out of nowhere) drives really fast—it indicates impulsiveness and sometimes aggressiveness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:04 PM
83

Men are smart. I hate to admit it. They use libfem against women. It is merely a new exciting way for them to suppress our bodies and needs. This woman takes an unpropitious amount of emotional labor in order to cater for his wishes. But the fact a social phenomenon is okay doesn’t mean an individual have to find it arousing. Men are smarter. If they hate, for example, a woman’s body hair—they just bail. And if they have nothing to dislike they still find ways to suppress our sexual needs: casua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:37 AM
66

I’d take the relationship advice of a single Queen x1000 times rather than the advice of a forever taken Pickmeisha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:16 AM
4

They know you’re above them and they try to take you down so you won’t leave/hurt them in a different way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:39 PM
45

Exactly. He isn’t upset about the unexpected (cancer), he’s really pointing to aging. Which is something he knew would happen. Children in a lame excuse and of course shows lack of empathy for anything that isn’t made of his sperm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:13 PM
177

He is just preparing the ground to leave her. Children my ass. He’s focused on the fact she won’t be as “beautiful” and “young” and “carefree.” He wants her to cater him and postpone everything, like her career and HEALTH while he’s on “business trips.” Taking himself another few hours until coming to the hospital when his wife needs him. He’d leave her even if they’d have two children by now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 11:02 AM
18

I used to think just like you and then learned that if they aren’t the same ‘level’ of your looks (not in a one insta-hottie-ish way, but in a sorta social approved way) they end up resenting. The Adrian Brodys (who’s adorable imo) never really believe they are good looking. They know their worth and they .. resent. It’s all very sad, bc I love the non conventional looking, charismatic men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:48 AM
12

Love it. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:29 AM
3

Nope! Recommended?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:20 AM
102

Quick biology class for damn scrotes: Evolutionary speaking, women should mate with as many men due to the fact that they cannot know which one of the males is: ⁠Fertile ⁠Have the best survival genes for the offspring (it might be the tallest man, the fastest runner or the strong one. Depends on where we collect food next season). In some societies, humans believed that the offspring is the son/daughter of all the men the woman slept with. The height of one, the running trait of the second and t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:12 PM
13

You are 100% correct that this topic deserves its own post. So sorry you went through that. It takes a lot of reflection and honesty to figure such thing by yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:14 PM
67

“...pay for our dates”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:42 AM
2

Thank you so much. Your sister’s story gives me hope 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:41 AM
18

Oh my! This is a piece of brilliance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:17 PM
3

I really shouldn’t be on Reddit half asleep :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 06:03 PM
36

......At least she’ll have plenty of $$ for a whole team to take care of him when he’s old & sick. It’s really heartbreaking when a non rich woman is the caretaker & nurse of an elderly man after she only enjoyed like 8 years of “mutual” relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:09 PM
52

I’d like to emphasize the risk of eating disorders in men we date. Many of us women struggle with it (myself included). But like with many other mental issues, men tend to underestimate the situation and get less of the help they need. He takes care of that by buying pre cooked food (maybe also as a way of not cooking?) but it seems that he doesn’t really reach the issue in therapy. Otherwise he wouldn’t suggest such a trigger-ish thing as a first date. I’ve had an ex who I clearly saw (on the f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:49 PM
3

On spot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:06 AM
28

Ew poor fiancé
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:55 AM
4

L. O. L.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:25 AM
3

This is so interesting and I envy your country for the fact that it’s a hot topic & on an actual debate. Hope there’s some strong FDSy voices. (And I’m also very curious to find out where you live😯)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:15 AM
2

Indeed trying to be a new woman! Thank you💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:01 AM
62

Quick biology class: Evolutionary speaking, women should mate with as many men due to the fact that they cannot know which of the males is: 1. Fertile 2. Have the best survival genes for the offspring (it might be the tallest man, the fastest runner or the strong one. Depends on where we collect food next season). In some societies, humans believed that the offspring is the son/daughter of all the men the woman slept with. The height of one, the running trait of the second and the muscles of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:59 AM
5

Woha everything looks great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:41 AM
2

I used to think he was a good guy (bleh) but after finding out he was gossiping about such a private matter, while he knew I struggled mentally, I cut him off out of my life. Didn’t speak to him in a year
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:39 AM
133

Demon ex met me when I struggled with many things, lovebombed me into being my mentor, bff and family. Abuse followed. When did he leave? When I moved to my own apartment (no roommates), found a great therapist and had a better support system overall. He HATED that. So the trash took himself out. Then I found fds. La fin
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:34 AM
115

She looks hot in both pictures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:26 AM
4

You’re right. I think after the cheating’s mental consequences I became overly protective. Your comment gives me hope that I can be the trusting woman I used to be, only smarter. 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:23 AM
2

Thank you sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:11 PM
14

Thank you. I’m trying to figure out how to protect myself (from someone who may know I was cheated on and potentially wants to take advantage of it), yet not let my ex dictate my future
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:36 PM
1

Lollll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:51 PM
155

Wow. Next level preying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:17 PM
22

If it’s free, you’re the product.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:29 PM
24

This is (theoretically speaking) some punchable face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:10 AM
6

Looking forward to read that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:03 PM
13

These men (“men”) will have bazillion wrinkles at 30 due to zero moisturizing , plus pores looking like this: 😱😱😱 due to all this Pringles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:22 PM
21

They rationalize this shit as normal in porn on a daily basis. Rot brain LVMs are really surprised when women don’t think this is a legit joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:14 PM
10

Please no scammers The level of stupidity is astonishing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 08:38 AM
26

They usually love the way our exes harmed us, more weak prey for them. And soon after they lovebomb they have to be “more of a man” and abuse worse than the ex did. He’s mad because this woman managed to get good boundaries after abuse and smelled his narcissism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 08:34 AM
28

Hey queen, went through something similar. You were right to dump him and trust yourself that you picked on enough proof of his abusive tendencies, even if you can’t articulate it all. I can also confirm that the longer you tolerate abuse—the harder it is to recover anyway. So I’m glad you left when you did, it means you’re strong. Now read my lips: he didn’t get any character transplant in the few months you aren’t together. He also didn’t went on full time therapy to manage his issues, because…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 08:20 AM
9

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:48 PM
33

Imagine men putting the rape/minor/sick porn they have in their heads on a screen like that. We’d run for our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:46 PM
7

They are so afraid of their sexuality it’s plain sad. Men would do degrading things to women and brag about it w male friends only to perform (toxic) heterosexual masculinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:29 PM
2

Even a broken clock etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:57 PM
1

Saved this comment. It’s spot on (and very reassuring). Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:56 PM
7

in a world where women prioritized their sexual satisfaction over everything Men would kill us, I’m afraid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:03 PM
3

I loooove your handle (and comment)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:01 PM
200

Trash bag as a stomach > trash bag as a husband
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:54 PM
2

Oh my! Maybe my demon was also smizing (is that how Tyra Banks says it?) when I praised him?! Make sense! Tough he’s also a master manipulator so I guess he can pretend to be human and smile w his eyes on command. 👹
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 10:51 PM
9

Sorry you went through that. These things are real sexual traumas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:37 PM
30

My vicious ex was smiling with his eyes ☠️ although his eyes were so empty with no spark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:35 PM
27

Just here to add that if someone find this relatable and have been abused, then recent studies and physiologists now see what was called co dependency to be actually ptsd, in many many cases. Please do not blame yourself for what you’ve been/going through and search for resources about trauma recovery. Searching on this sub will suggest some really good stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:32 PM
2

Same sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:59 PM
6

Great post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:48 PM
16

Amazing how women can be a pickme for their son 🤦🏻‍♀️ as if he’s gonna dump his mom if she won’t do his laundry. While he’s jerking off in her basement. Where he lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:01 PM
29

I’d snoop. Don’t let it slide, your intuition is correct. Edit: read some of the comments on this thread and I take my advice back —just trust your gut and dump him. He may have no evidence there anyways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:50 PM
16

Oo I’m flattered 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:01 PM
155

He said he wasn’t sure if he wanted to create a family with someone who didn’t care about her children. And why would a woman want to create a family w someone who doesn’t care about his woman’s life?! Who won’t protect her when his family is putting on a shit show?! He’s not even doing anything major to cReaTe the family, he just cums and probably bring in only half the money. She should divorce that pos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:40 PM
283

I take this whole story as another reminder of what being raised by a pickme (Kris Jenner) can cause women. Kim is, in my opinion, a very intelligent and motivated woman who’ve had the potential for a promising career (as she’s trying to establish in the last two years regarding prisoners’ rights). Maybe she would have met Kanye anyway, but her instincts would be better if she wasn’t raised to worship men. I’m not sure if Kanye is a NVM but in my experience, people with personality disorders who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:04 PM
8

The insight about dad bods is accurate in my experience—I’m a great admirer of esthetics and take my body&health seriously, yet forced myself to love my ex’s body for years. In the same essence I convinced myself I loved our sex, while it was unsatisfying since the beginning, and traumatizing by the end. The first time in which I didn’t preform but rather focused on my desire was a breakthrough for me. A few minutes of spontaneous enlightenment which were, in my opinion, one of the reasons he br…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:14 AM
182

++performative sex 24/7
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:09 PM
268

Yes. Emotional labor
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:09 PM
51

If someone is completely bad at sex I wouldn’t waste my time teaching him. He’ll either learn and then think he’s now a sex god who can do better than you, or (most likely) he won’t learn bc he’s lazy and entitled. Honestly I was good at sex even with 0 experience, it’s more about using some common sense and caring about the other person. Bad sex skills is usually a symptom of something deeper that’s lacking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:06 PM
53

You sure sound amazing sister
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 08:59 PM
18

I’m sure he will, it’s both cheap and triangulation. Glad you got away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:44 PM
107

Projection. Glad you didn’t listen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:38 PM
26

Porn is healthy! War is peace! Slavery is freedom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:37 PM
101

He asked for it back seriously 🥴🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:30 PM
8

Good for you sis! And don’t feel pressured to maintain everything new you’ve got going on, sometimes we lose some of the energy after the first months. What’s important is the overall change and to keep the nc and the self care
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:27 PM
29

Yeah bro where do you live and what you do for a living (read: how you spend 70% of your time) is the first things new people ask when they meet you. Shocker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:22 PM
40

Not OP but these 26 words really saved me from a lot of continuous agony. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:30 PM
122

Your instincts are spot on, these men KNOW what they’re doing and they need no explanation about basic decency. They either enjoy having double lives or get off to you being hurt. Real psychological damage and I have ptsd so if you haven’t dumped him, please do so. And I bet the youtube beach video the ex sent was by ‘school of life’ of the lowlife cheater apologist Alan De Botton.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:30 PM
6

“Dump him!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 09:00 AM
15

Their nv drama and / or abuse is really like a drug. Ecstatic highs then all time lows over and over again. Sometimes I feel slightly board until I realize it’s just my brain getting used to live in peace and not in a constant battle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 08:43 AM
56

The fantasy about a woman sleeping with multiple men is rooted in porn and meant to be degrading. My guess is that it didn’t turn up to be the violent thing he wanted (to watch? 🤢). He’s resentful like the assholes who convince their gfs to go poly and she ends up just fine/better while they can’t get anything of what their pornhead thought they were gonna get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 08:31 AM
10

That wallpaper is lovely too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:36 AM
37

Then I realized then he got bald and fat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:32 AM
255

She’ll thank you after the second, third or fourth dday 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:07 PM
6

Ooo cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:03 PM
46

I’d bet 50$ he gets off to hardcore violent porn. Only completely numb men make such visuals a mockery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 04:03 PM
45

The fact she’s wearing heels and a minidress is so symbolic. I love dressing like that but it’s indeed a way of society to limit our bodies. Which is the same essence of getting on one knee, submission. Men limit women for thousands of years and that is why we ask them to propose like this. To make us equals symbolically. But nope. She’ll do both. Pickmeisha/porn culture. Yuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 03:57 PM
97

His body language is gross and unreliable, turning to the camera and not to her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 03:53 PM
19

Financial abusive men also hide and rename your assets before or during a nasty divorce. Always manage your assets by yourself ladies! Even if it’s convenient not to, and even if he’s HVM. Your independence isn’t worth the risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:06 AM
19

What a prick asks for a 50:50 on groceries you’re not even gonna eat. Even if he’d make the same money as you. Rude and cheap. Glad you dumped him sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:04 AM
13

Gotta love that copy paste job interview text. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 10:56 AM
25

He can buy a 30$ noise canceling work headphones or earplugs and prepare his fucking presentation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:28 PM
10

I bet if a woman is into this type of date he’ll suggest she brings a bikini for a ‘short dip after.’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:51 AM
73

Queen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:47 AM
3

The tree starts as a Pickme and after the first use of a saw s/he is trauma bonded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:13 AM
21

Spot on. And those who didn’t research it have 0 interest in doing so. No need to waste energy on vampires
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:07 AM
11

Double neg. ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:03 AM
48

It’s so rare seeing a man get so excited about making his wife happy. A real smile w his eyes, the excitement laugh. No wonder scrotes are trashing him—they never felt nor feel this excitement about giving good memories to a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 09:01 AM
66

Oh my.. if it’s sexually related and he’ll ignore/ghost her after his dick is done it can cause serious further damage
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:25 AM
8

You are fully deserve not to have your traumas triggered in your most safe place and/or by your boyfriend. It has nothing to do with your sessions’ progress and you should not feel obligated to rush them. And you cannot heal from trauma while exposed to it, or to the possibility of it. I personally wouldn’t want my partner to masturbate at all while in a relationship. Unless one of us is away for an agreed period of time (and ofc w no porn). Are you doing that while in a relationship? And when h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:16 AM
11

Men who tell women what to wear. Lovely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 12:04 AM
100

The sex it rEaLLy GoOd.......anal toys 3some. Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:51 PM
70

I envy that. My dad is trying to make me a pickmeisha my whole life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:46 PM
2

100%. It’s both scary& reassuring (after you leave them safely).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 10:15 PM
4

True. And also NPD is a personality disorder (PD) so unlike mental illnesses it is very resistant to therapy and/or meds. As far as I learned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 08:21 PM
2

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 08:18 PM
1

Having your husband tell you he pretends you are their daughter during sex is sexual trauma which is (according to mental health professionals) equivalent to the trauma of physical violence, and is sometimes worse. I recommend the free course at Bloom for Women for any queen recovering this kind of trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 08:13 PM
2

Thank you& I love your handle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:50 PM
3

we used to [...] in the mid 1800s I knew fds was the place for time traveling ladies to teach us 2000s women some wisdom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 07:03 PM
13

I’m confused because I dated a NVM who did both.Many compliments about my looks followed by negging the next week, etc. I guess it was a technique to make me relay on his approval? 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:56 PM
11

I think your second paragraph is exactly what OP meant. Women feel obligated to give men a chance even if they don’t find them attractive, something most men would never do. But dating your ‘match’ is obviously personal—I have dated men I thought were super hot even though it was not in society’s standards or my friends’ personal taste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 06:53 PM
65

It’s safe to assume she’s trauma bonded. He‘s abusive. She lives in utter terror and this is not her fault/pickmesha behavior. Plain sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:20 PM
74

Yesss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:17 PM
36

And honestly sometimes calling men out gives them the validation they seek (“i’m worthy of attention”)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:14 PM
115

Ladies he is FULLY AWARE he’s full of shit and that this is an absolutely disgusting 0 logic text. He is trying to upset a powerful& beautiful woman because it’s a POWER MOVE. The essence of cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:12 PM
19

This is beautiful thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:22 PM
17

Great interview thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:42 AM
6

Lmao like what do they iNvEsT in a wife anyways? Half paycheck and lack of housekeeping skills?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:38 AM
8

This is actually not as ironic as it seems. I met a few men like that and they count on their abilities to talk their way w partners. It works, women waste hours explaining everything they did and why it’s wrong. But he KNOWS what’s wrong he’s just distracting you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:33 AM
5

Left long ago luckily!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:20 AM
8

Ooo sounds good! Just to be clear I meant excessive writing (and thoughts) during the relationship (which is a bad sign imo)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 08:19 AM
10

Accurate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:06 AM
17

I am so sorry you went through that..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:56 AM
15

Same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:55 AM
83

Any excessive writing (or anything else excessive) about your partner is a bad sign. If you constantly need to distract your mind or worse, convince yourself constantly it’s all good—it isn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:49 AM
48

I wish I negged when we were together! he’d cry forever if I told my honest opinion about his sexual abilities or looks Edit: he was a complete negging abuser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:45 AM
67

And they are in competition mode with most people imo. My ex acted as if every random argument w a friend is WAR. Tiering scrotes with 0 self esteem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:42 AM
51

The photo in the article is a scrote’s dream. A beautiful women with full face makeup (which guys call ‘natural’ coz this is how we look in the shower/s). The man? Average looking w/ a balding pattern.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:42 PM
14

Spot on definition
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 04:32 PM
12

100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:38 AM
21

She fears your oily lice-full hair boy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:33 AM
51

You are absolutely correct, for many women it’s rooted in childhood trauma. I Never thought of it as increasing trauma bonding and it sounds very true in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:26 AM
21

Looked there out of curiosity and though every single post is 🤮worthy, this one’s logic really stood out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:23 AM
74

• Other than that he’s perfect. • it only happens when he’s upset/sad/angry • I think I irritated him • this is not who he is, he was his true self when we started dating • he had a really messed up childhood • he just doesn’t understand how it hurts me, I need to explain myself better • if he just went to therapy • maybe he needs medication • the side effects of his meds upset him • I shouldn’t even bring it up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:07 AM
4

Ooo correct! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:55 PM
17

He sounds mental.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:51 PM
10

Ooo thank you for that recommendation I really looked for reading material about this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:50 PM
2

This!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:45 PM
4

Gawd I used to convinced myself I love dad bods because I thought men who put effort into their bodies are 99% fuckbois. But there’s also an opposite correlation of them being fuckbois AND gross. Then declining. Barf!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:24 PM
26

Well, pre fds me would say he DiDnT mEaN that, but you and I know better by now—he was boundary checking. Your gut was right to block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:11 PM
1

Thank you, I’ll try to remember that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:05 PM
2

Thank you 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:05 PM
1

I really should give this book a read.. thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:05 PM
2

These are great affirmation, thank you sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:04 PM
4

My industry is pretty much equally distributed yet men are so much more insecure. I think it’s because they don’t build real emotional stability so they’re so afraid of failing. Zero close friends, zero therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:44 PM
4

I’m so sorry you went through that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:39 PM
21

So this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:36 PM
2

Do things you did before you met him. Stuff you’ve never shared or even told him about, so it’s all yours. Even small stuff like watching a movie you liked high school. It sets the mind into independence mode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:33 PM
10

Actually I think the young can stay but taking out the ‘a’ in the 4th sentence and the ‘he’s’ in the last one can do that for the rhyme. Or am I wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:35 PM
18

At first (knowing the stories of Ben Affleck) I thought the picture represented the LVM. Self ruin, rare moments of sad clarity, repeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:58 AM
16

Humus Eaters are the worst. Everything’s a facade. They have zero healthy role models, they don’t have anyone to relay on for emotional support other than women, and they have less going on in their lives so they fill the void with porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 03:05 PM
6

Great list. I’ll add no porn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 06:41 AM
77

Let me guess: getting laid w/ another woman while in a committed relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:10 AM
11

My guess: both things suggest thinking before bending over backwards for outdated social standards + both things demand being a well informed woman who faces the truth about planet earth + maybe it has something to do with realizing how dangerous it is to relay on men in general
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:47 PM
2

he said he hardly notices he does it [gazing]. he follows attractive lady models, lady celebrities and lady friends. He knows what he’s doing. Did he accidentally follow all these women on ig? No. Do you ever gaze at men repeatedly without noticing? No. He’s gaslighting you. He’s entitled and negging. Making you insecure for his own benefit. Overall, highly disrespectful. You don’t have to explain to a grown man (19 is an adult) how to behave in front of a partner. He knows that, he just pretend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:33 PM
28

I honestly cannot handle all the L/NVMs in my family. The only male I speak to atm is my 6yr old cousin 🤖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:12 PM
12

Totally the right decision. These men only get worse (addicts, abusers). The fact he did things that are so embarrassing is also a big proof he is abusive and you should get out (I even wrote a post about it yesterday 🙄). No contact + therapy if available + journaling and venting here is great. You will heal💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:05 PM
65

I just rejected someone unattractive who asked me out. Pre FDS me would have dated him because I was socialized that it’s normal for women to date so so down. But men decline fast and actually resent you when you’re significantly more good looking. Why dating someone unattractive who secretly hates you for being with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:01 PM
49

He’s an addict and a pathetic gaslighter. He’s dangerous for your mental health. Also he is probably neglectful in other aspects too. You are a queen. You set boundaries and he broke them, so more than enough chances. Leave before he damage your mental health further (you may be trauma bonded by now so it’s harder to leave, but manageable). You are young and you will find someone healthy who cares about you if you want to. And anyways you will be so happy on your own, sane and healthy. Believe m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 09:48 PM
71

I don’t know sis... the less attractive ones are insecure af with the shittiest behavior, negging etc (x100 in the long run). Plus it depends what’s considered unattractive. Genetic features or lack of hygiene and workout? Bc the latter suggests LVM who won’t treat you right anyways..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 09:39 PM
19

Get out in the first sign of negging. Seriously. Negging only gets worse. It’s either that he nailed an insecurity and he’ll keep using that, or he’ll escalate to find something that’s bothering you more. Lose-lose situation, get out before he eats your self esteem away. He KNOWS it’s wrong but he doesn’t care. Very low self esteem on his part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:09 PM
112

Cheaters cheat for the power trip, not the sex. When it’s allowed there’s no excitement. I bet he’ll cheat more (and twist her words against her if she finds out)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:00 PM
12

So he’s counting the days until a year goes by? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 06:59 PM
6

I wanted to quote the lamest quote but it’s such a close competition
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 03:18 PM
58

I’m glad her mom is not a pickmeisha...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 11:12 AM
25

The third date virgin also fucks like a porn actress, mind you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:34 AM
294

I LOVE it when they show their scrotacity up front. Could have saved me so much time if my ex didn’t pretend he liked strong women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:10 AM
6

Omg notice the comment on the bottom by Ricky Gervais about Prince Andrew and younger women..I wonder if it had anything to do with Jeffrey Epstein 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:08 AM
4

Oh my.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:44 PM
29

If it wasn’t feminine they’d tell you you’re masculine (and god FORBID women take some of the precious male energy)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:40 PM
10

Omg it actually happens on tinder? And then it just comes up in the chat?...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:03 PM
2

You two are stunning!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 08:00 PM
6

What a pos. Don’t be mad at yourself tho, I also didn’t understand all of his negging was abusive. Now we know better sis (and they..they rot as we speak)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 07:58 PM
68

One of my exes was very confused that my boobs didn’t stay stuck to one another when I lay on my back, but were normally affected by gravity. I was in my early 20s. He has so many surprises waiting for him later on in life (not with me, thank heavens)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 07:47 AM
2

True true true! Queen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:47 PM
11

They don’t really get access to these 10/10 women but they feel entitled to because porn and social media distorted their perception. So if the woman isn’t an ig model they are..not impressed in courting. And I think HV women are still socialized to lower their standards. Oof
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 09:18 PM
2

Great point!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:03 PM
64

probably because women swipe right less often. Impressive analysis. Scientific even!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:01 PM
132

Congratulations! Must say that I feel safer with men who aren’t especially articulate. It gives a clearer view about their actions rather than words. Good luck to you two!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:00 PM
1

Dm me whatever questions you have!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:52 AM
3

Sure! • most of our friends from college thought he was self absorbed and I dismissed it. In hindsight it’s stupid how I was (and still am) good friends with so many smart people who disliked my SO before we even started dating. • he spoke highly about a woman friend of his in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. I persuaded myself I was just being jealous and didn’t confront him about it. But it was one of these things you remember where you were when it happened, and remember the exact words…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:39 AM
5

Perfect explanation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:57 PM
17

🤢 🤮 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:51 PM
8

Yes dear. Do not try any kind of revenge. It will play out as petty and you don’t want that. I totally get the feeling of wanting to be beautiful in the eye of someone who made you feel ugly. Totally get it (you can dm me if you want). But after a long time trying to do that, I figured that ugly souls see no beauty. You shouldn’t be embarrassed of any part of this story, he should. Only people with low self esteem feel the need to put down others (I know you think he’s hot but it might be your p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:46 PM
9

I felt just like you in the middle and the end of my 6 year relationship. I was terrified of never finding anyone good enough, never feeling the same love. And moreover I was terrified of finding someone that will eventually abuse me once again. There are some love stories (and lovely flower bouquets) shared here on this sub. I guess that there is a statistical bias due to the fact that people tend to be very cautious w/ sharing success stories while in the making. Meaning that the somewhat pess…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:31 PM
54

Used to be my favorite; not anymore 👄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:45 PM
93

Probably cheap ass man writing it to ‘encourage’ women to post free nudes. Barf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:22 PM
26

So. True.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:20 PM
5

Ohh. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:19 PM
6

But how come the betrayed spouse had a picture of this tik toker? I dont get it 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 10:14 AM
27

Beautifully said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:49 AM
14

Of course and I’m actually thinking about making a post! It’s so common it makes me sick. Anyways, triangulation is basically a tactic to make you feel like there’s another woman in the picture, either only in his head or actually around him in real life. Men use it to seem desirable, like they have many options and therefore you should really make an effort to keep them around. Really one of the worst forms of negging, designed to keep you on your tiptoes and to put up with everything they do/ …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:06 AM
208

Why triangulating in your effing wedding picture? 🤢 Why the woman he left needs to read that? Why his new wife should be reminded about his ex of 5 years in her wedding week? Whyyyy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 08:55 AM
28

This is so manipulative the fact that he made you follow his ex. A way to bring you up in conversation w her. I swear triangulation pops up so early with toxic people, they just can’t help it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 08:47 AM
3

Congratulations!🎊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 08:31 AM
96

So sorry you went through that. What an awful man that should be rot in hell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:05 PM
32

🟦 Zuckerberg’s Facebook deliberately caused users to be depressed. 🟦 The users involved did not know they were participating in this ‘experiment.’ 🟦 Depression lead people to severe outcomes and even death. 🟦 Facebook sold your personal information in the Cambridge Analytica scandal. Facebook will risk its users’ lives to gain profit. Leave Facebook. Leave Instagram.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:55 PM
63

Zuckerburg started Facebook as a women rating website for depraved college students. Pretty consistent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:40 PM
14

True. Pickmeishas make good mommyishas (if they have boys)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 06:53 PM
158

To any queen suffering trauma: this tweet is absolutely true except for the fact that it IS reversible. You can heal, you will heal, I’m doing it at the moment and a year ago I wouldn’t believe you if you told me. Dm me if you need. Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:08 PM
11

T!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:05 PM
10

Tbh, giving it a few hours can allow him to gaslight further... Not entertaining conversation with a person you didn’t meet isn’t a cut off, it’s decision making adjusted to the format of dating apps. And questioning oneself is merely the way to be ready for next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:44 AM
11

To the dear writer who probably keeps refreshing this comment section right now: the silhouette of your pants, though very 90s, does make you seem taller. Good job! And also, it’s fantastic you publicly trash this sub (and our wishes to find an equal relationship). Your free PR services will bring more women over here. Again, good job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:24 AM
9

More power to you. I’m doing it step by step w/ friends now, thanks to fds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:22 PM
11

Good answer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 06:17 PM
147

I’d watch his actions (not words) regarding these things: • does he have realistic expectations of his life (e.g. achievable career goals) or is he somewhat delusional about his abilities? Delusional men keep looking for a (non existent) ‘upgrade.’ • is he always experiencing fomo? Red flag. • are his parents happily married? older siblings? Best friend? If not, does he blame the ‘concept of marriage’? (Blaming can be expressed through actions, even if his words doesn’t match). • if the people a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 05:58 PM
26

Every word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 01:15 PM
9

My god me too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 11:44 AM
5

Thank you for sharing that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:23 AM
15

Trauma bonding.. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 10:01 AM
79

100%. Also, answering only teaches them how to manipulate other women better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 07:48 AM
90

Yet another way to breach women’s consent and agency over our bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:15 PM
102

Silly stuff that really help: • ask a family member or a good friend for a long hug, at least once a week. It have the same chemical effect in your brain like hugging a partner. You can specifically explain that reason. • long and warm baths • applying body lotion • if you can (also covid wise) book a massage or anything else that’s soothing and is done by someone else. • scent is a physical thing, so scented candles or perfume helps. • use a heavy blanket and go to sleep with cozy clothes, stuf…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 03:54 PM
8

And you didn’t..well..cheated on her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 06:30 PM
6

This is so powerful and I really want to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 12:27 PM
106

You understood him very well and please don’t let him gaslight you, he used an intimate detail of yours (specific insecurity) to neg and harm your feelings. Gaslighting plus negging, major combo. All people go through phases of insecurity. Did you pick on others when you were insecure? I bet you haven’t, not even in your darkest days. HV people mourn, go to therapy and book appointments with estheticians. His coping mechanism is external. That’s why I wouldn’t recommend therapy as a solution. Pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:56 AM
12

Not op but I’ll take that advice. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:27 AM
21

Queen💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:24 AM
60

Even with a hundred exclamation marks! You’re still a cheater! ~Virgo advise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 09:25 PM
105

If women talked about the male body like men do to us, and men would hear these convos, they’d cry like babies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:56 PM
230

Adam Sandler 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:58 PM
35

These men don’t change. They just hide it better. My ex learnt from the mistakes he made with his ex before me. So he treated me “”better”” than he did with her. But the longer their mask is on, the harder it is to figure them out. So yes, he treated me better, and therefore I suffered x3 abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:55 PM
115

100%. And along with the mental toll that holds you back cognitively, gaslighting weakens a deeper layer — intuition. They lie and manipulate so well until your intuition seems to be unreliable. Intuition is so important both in our personal lives and for work/school. Weak intuition = bad decision making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:35 PM
28

These awards are worth so much $, which shows who are they paying costumers on reddit, which explains why RedditHatesWomen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:59 AM
7

Great post. Totally saved & I’ll copy key sentences to my vision board. Thank you for taking the time to write it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:56 AM
46

Why do they want other men to sleep with (jackhammer) their partners? Can someone explain this to me? What’s so hot FOR YOU about you and other guy with your gf???? Seriously I’d love some answers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:42 AM
4

I’m solo for now but my breakup still feels really fresh (I gave him another chance after dday. Before discovering fds. Abuse escalated). So I’m healing from it all and I try to listen to my gut about dating. Right now I’m not ready. Take your time. Please. Your instincts to avoid dating are healthy. Dating while in such a mental state is like writing on your forehead “free food for narcs.” I knew that, so I pushed away those who suggested me to go out and date. I hate it that he took away five …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:34 AM
26

You may not feel like it, but you’re very lucky to discover it after investing only five years. Many women spend decades (with abuse and whatnot). You’re young and sound super strong, and even if you won’t trust anyone but yourself—life can be healthy and fulfilling. After dday I thought I won’t survive it, but now I’m thriving. You will come back to your old self, one day at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 10:31 PM
66

True. Except for sociopaths and narcissists. They lie to therapists and manipulate their advice against their partners. Don’t wait for them to heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 10:24 PM
38

I am so sorry. So so sorry. Chumplady’s blog really helped me in the early stages after dday, and also the book ‘cheating in a nutsell: what infidelity does to the victim’ by Tamara and Wayne Mitchell. If you can, try to see a therapist. You can DM me if you feel like venting. Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 10:12 PM
13

Imagine the smell 🐀🐀🐀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 12:54 PM
153

And these men protect their daughters because they see them as valuable possessions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:11 AM
7

Good for you for setting that boundary straight away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:03 AM
6

Lol stealing that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:02 AM
20

N/LVM invalidate your hobbies / fandom to make you feel lesser. These are usually the most boring people on earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 08:01 AM
7

Maybe suggest her to get a job that she finds interesting, or even higher education? (doesn’t have to be a degree, can be loads of other things). Even if it doesn’t pay so well, it’ll be something to relay on financially. It can also rebuild her confidence. You’re a good friend. She’ll get out when she’ll find the strength and she’s lucky to have your wisdom by her side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:44 AM
10

Looks steampunk. Nice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:34 AM
38

Ugly souls can’t see beauty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 08:03 PM
119

Try 🌏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 08:02 PM
6

Yess I’d read them! FDS Herstorical Novels
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:36 PM
58

Trauma bonds are also chemicals and sadly, they are very hard to break free and recover from. “I still love him” can be a manifestation of that. I think that we, as well informed women, should be very cautious about possible victim blaming. This sub is a gem for recovering victims. Many of which (me included) struggle to accept that this lasting “love” is rooted in trauma. FDS reassures us that even if we “love” them — they are still NVM and therefore we should never accept them back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:27 PM
70

90% of my first dates were so embarrassing the moment we got to the restaurant (the guy’s completely different than his picture, odd behavior, etc) that the “free meal” wasn’t even compensating for that wasted evening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 06:04 PM
98

Men who believe there’s possibly a hotter woman right around the corner never really invest. They save their money for the non existent 1000 next dates. And yet the ice cream he bought her is transactional and he expected sex. Because porn wired men for sexual gratification with 0$ invested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 05:27 PM
13

This..true..😢🤧
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:52 PM
12

This is amazing 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:06 PM
32

It makes so much sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:04 PM
20

Short answer: projecting. Long answer: They think a friendly rant about work/surface level personal issues equals “labor.” As if anything that’s slightly above “bro” communication level is excruciating and grants them sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:00 PM
27

I wish all of their spinning plates fall and break on their heads, along with a massive grand piano
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:40 PM
5

It’s possible, believe me. Take it one day at a time and read about abuse (fds has suggested material) to understand what you’ve been through. You’re a hero for surviving it and it’s not your fault
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:56 AM
29

I can literally tweet that he eats children for breakfast. Does it make it true? Freak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:51 AM
37

“Why are you nEgLeCtiNg my sexual needs??”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:42 AM
24

I’m sorry you went through that. Hope you and the rest of your family are ok now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:38 AM
53

Quick reminder: this does not apply to abuse victims. Power to yall💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:34 PM
2

💔❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:50 PM
3

Resonated.. 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:25 PM
106

I’m C and my ex complained. Rest assured nothing is enough for scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:02 PM
12

Considering source is such a key. It’s disgusting how abusive people use victims as a mirror of their own insecurities (sometimes very bluntly sometimes more covert). Very hard to remember it though... power to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:00 PM
152

When ‘the wall’ BS isn’t valid — they say your body is rUiNeD by childbirth. When there’s no childbirth to bring up — they come up with that shit. Infuriating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:49 PM
71

Get. Out. Of. Women’s. Uteruses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:47 PM
1

100%. Thank you for posting it, I barely check on youtube lately and it’s a real gem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:42 PM
3

You can tell she speaks from the heart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:16 PM
14

Why did they break up? Why did he divorce? If it sounds shady, it usually is. Some men jump from one relationship to another with no self introspection, meaning they wish to have someone who gives them xyz, without bettering themselves. I met my former partner on our early 20s so it’s not exactly the same, but he was a serial monogamist even then and I was impressed thinking it implies he’s serious. The opposite was true. He looked for someone to take care of his needs and his status. Only here …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:21 AM
20

That’s a great post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:04 AM
10

Scroteinger’s Eraction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:21 AM
10

probably told you it will keep your body ‘in shape’ (for his pornsick ED). Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:14 AM
27

Fuckable nanny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:09 AM
54

When he says you get to decide say great and tell him your decision is “you’ll get to plan and manage it.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:59 AM
13

Love her vibe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:53 AM
22

Maybe he is being his own study case. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 04:47 PM
51

Oh lord. I am so sorry. Please don’t be hard on yourself for staying that period of time. I stayed with a cheating abuser for two years post dday, though we had no children. Of course you were trauma bonded and needed his reassurance after giving birth. He sounds awful and I wish he gets what he deserves. But not your body nor your heart are ruined. You will heal, and so will your memories. I’ll pray for that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:06 PM
87

I’m so sorry...hugs..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:57 PM
5

Now the whole nest post makes total sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:50 PM
33

I hope she takes the job, yet I’ll never get twitting things like ‘my bf isnt sure about me’ when it’s not an anon profile. It attracts the worst of NVMs 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:55 AM
3

How about sending her some segments from the handbook? I guess you’re right in the sense that giving someone in this situation a lot of reading material at once is overwhelming. I’d also suggest some of Dr Ramani’s videos on how to spot narcs, since her boyfriend might be one. But you two should be careful if her bf looks through her phone. Anyways, you sound like a lovely cousin and I wish any of my cousins were kind enough to ride 8 hrs when I was in such distress. She might push your advice a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 11:07 PM
5

Either they’re delusional/pornsick enough to think they stand a chance with every woman, or they try to keep us while maintaining a fantasy harem (with the free bonus of negging). 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 10:50 PM
2

Went private. You can ask the mods for invitation via reddit’s desktop mode
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:49 PM
8

“The sender is not on your contact list.” 👸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:35 PM
3

Lolll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:35 PM
26

But don’t be too hard on yourself! It happens to the best of us. In a few weeks you’ll forget all about it while leveling up. Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 09:30 PM
3

Yess I love this kind of queen stuff
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:27 PM
4

Word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:14 PM
18

He’s pathetic and from experience, this crap gets worse when their pornsick cortex gets bored. ‘Trying’ = trying to make you accept his shitty character as it is. And as you noted, disrespect multiply itself whenever the relationship takes a step up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:03 PM
21

Queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:46 PM
2

That makes so much sense, thank you. I really struggled to figure it out. Maybe because I’ll never think of skipping courtship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 05:47 PM
37

What an awful man!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 04:29 PM
2

You’re right ❣️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 04:29 PM
6

That’s a beautiful sentence. Hugs back
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 01:11 PM
11

Triggered 🤧🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 11:41 AM
26

I feel bad for her she’s so trauma bonded. Hope she’ll break that cycle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 09:44 PM
120

And — reveling intimate details about an ex is a huge red flag by itself. Stuff like what she dis/liked in bed, etc. Someone who doesn’t respect their former partner won’t respect you either (And these overly shares details about other women are usually negging too) E: clarity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 09:40 PM
8

Gawwwwd disgusting Edit: you’re 100% accurate about the harem mentality (great definition) since he’s a serial cheater and IG porn sick. Imaginary harem all over 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 09:23 PM
12

especially if you haven't been sexually with anyone else yet. Oh lordy. My ex was hoovering so bad after he was with someone but I didn’t. I actually thought it made me less attractive in his (distorted) eye. Why do they like it? Power dynamics?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:49 PM
10

Saved your post. Thanks for linking it here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:45 PM
32

I’d be cautious with men who say their ex partner was jealous. It can indicate LV behavior she called out (and he portrays as jealousy), or it’s a way to appear more attractive in your eyes (also LV behavior).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:25 PM
28

True. But why do they also hoover after awhile? Am I anew because we’re not together? It makes 0 sense to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 10:43 AM
9

Gawd I’m sorry sister. Patriarchy wants us to (gladly) accept any engagement, marriage, mistreatment, bad gifts and bad compliments, even when it’s 100% degrading. You were right to dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 08:47 AM
9

😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 09:48 PM
2

Sure sis :) The hot and cold is a tactic to stress the victim and string them along. I also believe that most abusers do not fully detach until the victim does so themselves (bc until then the abuser can still potentially benefit from the victim). But even if the abuser really was detached — they made sure to make you emotionally dependent on them before that. It makes leaving almost impossible (until you’re fed up and ready to leave). Hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:19 PM
3

You were a victim of abuse, please don’t blame yourself. It’s not easy to notice patterns and just walk away. Abusers make sure it doesn’t (even if they pretend to detach themselves). Glad you’re free now. 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:49 PM
15

Precious comment. Saved
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 12:13 PM
6

There’s a new movie, too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:04 AM
11

They usually just pretend. Based in his own story he’s a shitty person. It takes a lot of effort to do a 180 and lazy entitled people don’t do that. They fake for awhile to get the woman back, and bc they got away with it once their shitty behavior will escalate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:55 AM
14

No no I got it, dangerous for our own energy and time! I was just curious why serial monogamists are more likely to do so rather than the party boy type
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:21 AM
12

Interesting! Why are serial monogamists flagged as most dangerous?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:11 AM
53

They pretend to be
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 02:40 PM
5

Great definition of emotional labor. I’ll use that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 11:07 AM
3

Tf is this subreddit?! My self esteem just took a spin down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:56 AM
37

I think we should distinguish between abuse victims (serial/cheating is psychological abuse) and pickmeishas who aren’t trauma bonded
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 08:10 AM
6

I’ll read your book
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:41 PM
35

Ditto that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 06:07 PM
6

Same here!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 04:03 PM
27

It’s especially funny bc she wish to go on a cHiLL date wearing sweats but obviously doing her makeup for 2hrs before. Which can be great but why trashing fancy dates then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:39 PM
12

He’ll sext during. Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 11:22 AM
68

Maybe it’s a reversed psychology tactic to make us want marriage even though it enslaves us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 11:05 AM
3

Not long at all and really insightful, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:57 AM
28

That’s super powerful. Have fun!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:56 AM
25

A tragic defense mechanism. Giving up on their power so they won’t have anything a man can take away. If you have zero Self your s.o can’t hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 10:53 AM
7

Gross man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:29 PM
7

Thank you for taking the time to write it here, really helpful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:25 PM
8

Great idea, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:20 PM
19

From an evolutionary perspective, it’s Mother Nature awarding you for not breeding with NVM. 🐒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:01 PM
6

Yesss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 06:48 PM
13

Thank you I needed that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 09:39 AM
7

My heart breaks for you... you’re absolutely right, I forgave an ex for cheating and he just became (un covertly) abusive. The more you stay, the bigger the price. Look into the comment section in Tracy Schorn’s blog, it’s all the same stories, one D-day after another. 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 08:26 AM
3

Great advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 08:15 AM
3

But don’t consider every man who goes to therapy to have a good mental health maintenance. Some of them lie and manipulate their therapists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 08:09 AM
19

Yess. What he’s looking for in a good friend is what he’d appreciate in a partner. Is it a honest emotional connection, or 100% a hang out? Someone he appreciates their good character, or an image management tool due to the friend’s status?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 08:56 AM
11

Gawd. I cut off anybody who plays the “other side” about abuse. It implies a non existent moral compass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:23 PM
2

Yes but dm me :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 10:38 AM
13

That’s some great advice. I’d also suggest carefully looking into (in therapy, after awhile) the physical aspect of your relationships, both the physical qualities of your s.o and your intimate connection. I was fixated on his character, our daily life and conversations, but gained so much insight out of examining these aspects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:18 AM
20

This is a beautiful sketch, who made it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:50 PM
34

A friend of mine suggested some facebook spying before choosing where to volunteer - almost every place with a fb account uploads albums of highlight events. That’s a way to estimate the average age group
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:14 PM
17

Sure. Love your handle 🌱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:21 PM
34

This particular website uses this term as a general title for betrayed spouses. Sort of reclaiming made by the author, Tracy Schorn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:14 PM
18

Volunteering!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:04 PM
58

You offer us a glimpse to the future. A study case of what happens when going dutch is the norm. We thought it’ll lead to equality, but didn’t estimate their enormous entitlement. Men will eventually expect us to pay the whole bill (while waiting for us in the restaurant bathroom with their pants unzipped).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:34 PM
29

Hugs, pics of pets and Chumplady.com
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 07:16 PM
7

Beautiful, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:12 PM
20

Good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 04:05 PM
10

Spot on. It’s a two way street. Ignoring bad behavior will allow it to worsen; ignoring your gut will numb your intuition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 11:15 AM
14

I’m not surprised he moved all his things into the guest room right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:44 AM
23

I hope OP gets legal advice on how to check his computer/search history, in order to gather more knowledge and possibly protect her kids custody wise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:44 AM
4

Good lord. What a piece of sh**... I’m so sorry... hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 06:30 AM
101

Ditto that. It’s like writing on your forehead: ‘Imma narc snack, eat me’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 02:45 PM
63

Hello, I’m Mister Unkempt Beard 🤡 I invalidate your fandom 🤡 I think women should be passive in sex 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 09:06 AM
96

Pure manipulation to hunt women with low self esteem (‘he dated someone so ugly that strangers noticed. He must find me okay than.’)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 08:44 PM
3

Yes please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:50 PM
2

He sounds awful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:48 AM
4

Your mom sounds inspiring! I’d actually love to read a post describing the qualities a child/teen/young adult observes regarding their HV mom+dad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 09:45 AM
170

Wifey things before marriage. Never lived with a partner but I still did so much of the cooking, packing food for him to take to work, even laundry. Fds made me realize how dumb it is to do so (when he wouldn’t do 90% of it at his place, for himself or for me) while expecting to share chores equally in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 09:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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