FDS Text etiquette?

7102a · 2020-05-09T22:45:24+00:00

I only text first if there is already some type of relationship established. New dude? He better text first every time. If we've been seeing each other for awhile I have no problem texting first as long as he is still initiating contact at least 50% of the time. I'm not going to ever put forth more effort to speak to him than he is putting forth to speak to me, period.

If he takes hours to reply... depends. Every single time? Red flag. Occasionally? Meh whatever. I'm assuming this is a grown man with a job and responsibilities and a life he is trying to live. I don't demand that he be glued to his phone.

I don't have extensive conversation over text with a man because I find it annoying and distracting. We can talk in person. On an actual date. I don't need a penpal. Short conversations with an actual purpose are fine. Lengthy discussions, no.

I suppose I could be slightly more lenient because its hard to read tone, but if he is being a blatant asshole then he gets blocked.

greenie66 · 2020-05-09T22:10:34+00:00

I think it’s best to refrain from texting first and to keep emojis & haha/lols to a minimum, and to keep the texts short

If a guy takes hours to respond or acts cold, I match his energy in the next text. But with that said, I try to keep in mind that he does have a life too

I don’t think I am more lenient with things said over text than in person, but if it’s a grey area I will try to give him the benefit of the doubt and not start drama over text

BerryCocoLove · 2020-05-10T00:02:43+00:00

I never ever initiate in the beginning and never take a man’s number if he gives it to me. Meaningless texting convos are a red flag to me and a waste of time. All conversations should be light, fun banter and then him initiating setting up a date. If they don’t give me exact details like a time if place, I ignore him.

A couple of months into dating, I’ll reach out maybe once or twice, but this is more along the lines of if I’m asking him something important (how was the big project at work? How your grandmother? Etc.).

My max texting limit in the beginning is 5~ a day and I keep it quick and strait to the point. Don’t let a guy pull you in with “good morning beautiful” because they copy and paste that shit and send it to to all the women in their phone

Mean-Head · 2020-05-10T00:05:18+00:00

I know it’s uncommon with dating these days but I really try to avoid texting with men unless it’s to make plans, and even then it should be a pretty short convo. I hate falling into the trap of both people texting back 6 hours apart having a pointless drawn out conversation. If a man wants to ask how my day was he can call me or make plans to ask me in person. But to answer your questions:

1) No. It’s not okay to text a guy first. It can be hard to control yourself, and I know you want to hear from him, but it’s much better to sit and wait and see what kind of effort he’s making. If he wants to talk to you, he’ll message you.

2) If he’s regularly taking ages to reply, and you know he hasn’t been at work or school, then he didn’t want to talk to you. Don’t try and justify his behaviour. Who dosnt have their phone in their hands 24/7 these days? There’s no such thing as a bad texted.

3) I treat text conversations as basically a way to make plans and not much else, I’m not getting dragged into and endless days-long conversation.

4) Has he said something insulting or offensive? I don’t see why you should be more lenient if it was in a text.

2020-05-10T04:24:06+00:00

Right now isn’t a good time to be texting but before the lockdown:

I give him my number...he either texts or calls first. I keep texting to a minimal and a date needs to be planned within 3 days or you’re blocked. If he calls, it’s only for an hour. No FaceTiming.

If I like him and decide to add him to my roster, then it’s really limited texting/talking until he sets up another date.

Number one thing: MIRROR THEM. Give the same effort until proven otherwise. Then block cause it’s really a waste of time.

Just leave them all on read for now.

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Title	FDS Text etiquette?
Author	Crushed_Avocado
Upvotes	19
Comments	9
Date	May 9, 2020 1:55 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ggftau/fds_text_etiquette/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/fds-text-etiquette.676599 https://theredarchive.com/post/676599

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