edit- i can’t comment yet because i’m not flaired, but thank you all so much for the kind comments!! i really appreciate them :)

hi everyone! i’ve been lurking on this sub for about 2 ish years but i finally made a new account to actually post on after breaking up with a lvm. here’s my story if you’re interested-

i broke things off with my extremely, extremely lvm 3 weeks ago. though i’m still in the process of healing and still very heartbroken, i know it was the right thing to do.

i muted him on all social media accounts (even though i don’t go on social media all that often anyway), put all our pictures on my phone in a hidden folder, and boxed up all our physical photos and everything he gave me. i didn’t want to completely block him because we have a lot of mutual friends and run in the same circles. but trust me, i have no interest in contacting him and i’ve done everything else i can to put his presence out of my life!

but i am disappointed in myself because i stayed with him for almost three years. he lied to me constantly, he had zero communication skills, and no emotional intelligence. arguing with him was impossible because he had no empathy for me. he was a terrible partner. he made my anxiety 100x worse.

it frustrates me so much because on a social level we were really compatible and we had our moments. but over the past year or so i realized that i was in love with his potential- not him. the good parts of the relationship were all because of me. and since that’s the case, i can obviously have that with anyone!!

i am grateful for one thing though- it was my first relationship, and i learned a lot. i learned that i have to be more forthright with my boundaries and i have to be willing to walk away. i learned what i am absolutely not okay with in relationships, and i learned that i, as opposed to him, am great at conflict resolution and respectful dialogue. i’m grateful that i learned these things in my first relationship and not years down the line (we got together when we were both 17, i’m 19 now). and most of all, i’m grateful for this sub!!! i definitely let the sunk cost fallacy get in my head with this past relationship, and now that i’m completely done with it, i think i’ll be able to apply fds more seriously in the future.

we’re doing no contact right now, but honestly i don’t care if i never see him again. up until the end, he still took no accountability. he even tried to make it sound like the break up was mutual even though i initiated everything. and even though i was super emotional during the breakup, i can take solace in the fact that i will NEVER be the one reaching out to him or trying to get him back. and that silence is going to speak louder than anything i could say to him.

so... yeah. I’m excited to spend time getting to know myself and regaining the peace of mind i had before he was in my life. i’m grinding on the self improvment now too. i know it’s not very fds of me to say this but: i hope that in a few months he sees me and realizes exactly what he lost. and then i can continue ignoring him lol.