Back in my pick-me days before I learned to stand up for myself & before I found FDS, I was in a 4 year relationship where we lived together for 3 of those years.

He was in law school during the time we were together. Things were great at first (so I thought) then kept getting worse, spiraling downward.

At one point he literally told me that I wasn't the priority in his life; law school was. I stayed. I thought that after he finished his program things would be better. Even after his program ended I still wasn't priority in his life.

When he was working his first real attorney job his bosses invited us to a fancy Christmas dinner. Just before we left for the dinner, he told me that he had told his bosses that we were engaged but he hadn't gotten a ring yet.

We weren't engaged & I would never actually get engaged to anyone without a ring. I was caught off guard & he coerced me to play along with the story. He still didn't even actually try to propose. He just wanted me to play along to impress his bosses. That dinner was so awkward & uncomfortable. I felt like such a fool to have these people think I'm engaged & I didn't even have a ring.

But, I still stayed with him.

Then I finally discovered he was cheating. He had been cheating the entire relationship - with strangers from online & prostitutes.

I finally left him.

After I healed from that train wreck, looking back I see the red flags. I also see how I kept making excuses for them. I kept convincing myself that things were fine or would get better. I was afraid to face the truth. I was afraid to leave & have to start over on my own. I was devastated that I wasted so much time & energy trying to help him be a better person & to make our relationship work.

I hope more women find FDS & they're able to shed the veil of lies they tell themselves about these scrotes.

Always listen to your intuition & your gut instinct. If something feels off or wrong then you're probably right. I wish I hadn't made so many excuses for him. I wish I would have left sooner & not wasted so much of my time & tears on him.

Since I left him I have gotten my master's degree, I'm starting a business, I started finally hiking like I always wanted, I started traveling internationally, & I finally moved to another country which has been a goal of mine for a very long time. I'm doing everything I had always wanted, now that I don't have the dead weight of our relationship holding me down.

Maybe I'll be single with my pets for the rest of my life. Traveling the world working for myself. I would rather have a happy & fulfilling life on my own than to be trapped with a man who holds me back in life & makes me feel terrible about myself.