What should I do? Is he pornsick

Hi ladies! I frequently read posts on this forum and the women here give really good advice, so I wanted to post about something that bothered me when I was talking to this man who I presumed was a HVM.

I met this guy on a dating app and we have been texting online for around 2 months since we can’t meet during quarantine and he lives significantly further away from me. He seemed to tick a lot of good boxes. We agreed that casual relationships was not our thing, he has similar interests to me and he comes from a stable family background. He also doesn’t want pets like me and told me he is specifically looking to get married so I was thinking I finally met a guy who fits most my boxes. He also told me once lockdown is over the first thing he will do is travel to meet me, which I also thought was very romantic and showed he wants to put in effort into a relationship.

However I realised a few red flags and I always make note of this when I start talking to a man. Firstly he kept pushing me to send a voicemail rather than text. I personally prefer to text because I feel like voice mailing someone I have not met is too familiar. I would rather meet the person for the first time face to face and not through a video call/voice mails as then I feel like you can accurately determine what type of man he is, body language, chivalrous behaviour etc. I am willing to wait as I’m in no rush, however he kept saying “I want to hear your voice”, and I ended up just saying to him “I want you to see the full package in real life” and he backed off.

Secondly, call me crazy but he listens to questionable rap music (that objectifies women, gold teeth etc.) and he told me that one of his friends told him that he should be a womaniser and not get married and that “it’s crazy” his friend told him that. When he told me this I thought it was a bit weird he told me in the first place. The first thing that came to my mind was that this man has questionable friends. Why are his “friends” telling him to go out and be a womaniser but he himself is not like that? Why would you hang out with people who go against your beliefs, or does he secretly believe them? I don’t know but it was a major red flag when he just told me this out of the blue.

Anyway, after that we had really good discussions about a variety of topics, where we have travelled, what type of workouts we like to do etc. However then a major red flag (to me) came up when I asked him “what hobbies do you have outside of work?. He then told me one of them was to “do some rated-R activities with my girl (when I’m not single). I then asked him “what type of activities are you talking about?” and then he responded “when you become my baby girl, you will find out”.

As soon as he said that to be honest I got completely turned off. Bear in mind all of our discussions to this point had no mention of sex, it was very family friendly and we just spoke about intellectual stuff and other things we are interested in. As soon as he said this I just immediately felt like this is a man who probably expects some type of fantasies or sex activities in a relationship.

The fact he said this made me realise that he has probably had a lot of relationships with girls that he lived with (red flag to me - I believe in living together only after marriage) where he had free access to sex. He never married any of these girls as he has never been married (another red flag - possibly he had forever girlfriends?) He also might have some fantasies that I will find degenerate/associated with porn that is an absolute dealbreaker. Call me a prude but I do not find it romantic or cute that he said when I’m his “baby girl” he will tell me all the “R-rated activities” he plans to do with me. In all honesty its making me quite scared. I know for some other people having sex is no big deal but for me it is very special and sacred. I don’t know but the way he said he does “R-rated activities with his girl” as a hobby makes me feel like he sees sex as something that is not that meaningful as I do, or that he has been lying about being a man who has conservative values (he told me this himself) and believes in marriage. Maybe I am overreacting, but I really cannot deal with the way he said this very openly to me as if he views sex very lightly and like I would be there solely for his pleasure. I don’t know why but it made me scared that he will expect me to do things associated with porn that I absolutely do not feel comfortable doing.

Now my question is what should I do after this point? After he texted me that I just said “haha ok” and kept the conversation moving as if I didn’t hear him. I’m thinking of doing either 2 things: saying to him “speaking about R-rated activities, what type of porn do you watch?” so that I can see if he will give an answer that shows he is pornsick (immediate block and delete, deal breaker as I will not tolerate any porn) or just being upfront and honest, saying something like “hey, I’m just going to be blunt. I’m not on board with any R-rated activities that you plan on having me do. It seems we are not on the same page about sex and it was nice chatting to you, but I think we are incompatible. Bye”

What do you women think I should do? I would appreciate any help, thank you