How do you know if relationship is progressing towards marriage if you’re dating while young?

2340000 · 2020-04-14T06:24:52+00:00

[deleted]

circescircus · 2020-04-14T05:41:23+00:00

At 18-23 you should be focusing on school, work, building your skills, building your value system. People who get married young statistically have a very high divorce rate and an even higher married and miserable rate.

I think 23 is a good age to start dating seriously, if you have your shit together, you've finished your education, you have a good job, you have developed a value system young, etc. Most 23 year olds are not there. Wasting your time wondering if you're a forever girlfriend or not at age 18-23, will set you back from goals that are far more important than cuffing a man.

If you want to marry a guy your own age, most men don't take marriage seriously at age 18-23. If you want to marry an older guy, there are risks to that too-- older men are predatory and most women who have dated an older man, have the same story to report-- he was controlling, abusive, belittling, etc.

Always date men on your terms. Is marriage what you even really want, at this age? Are you just afraid of being used? Please prioritize yourself over a relationship. Build a solid foundation of YOU for yourself.

I would say that at age 23, you can go longer than 2 years to get married, but arbitrary milestones are not the things that define a relationship's success. You can date an abusive guy who hits all of the milestones, or just a confused LVM (who wants you today, but not tomorrow) who hits all the milestones. That doesn't mean you are winning in the end. It takes life experience to develop self-awareness, an understanding of human nature and psychology, observational skills, to understand nuance, give yourself that life experience.

Edit:

I personally don't have an inherently negative view of marrying young, I just think society has changed. It is harder to survive and thrive in the world now than it was before. Financial problems + getting married young is a recipe for disaster. So it's important to be able to take care of yourself, financially of course, but also emotionally and physically. People used to get married young back in the day and sometimes it did work out, because those couples grew up together. This is increasingly becoming a non-option. We live in a hyper individualist society, social media, porn etc portray a different world than what reality actually offers to most. So it is very difficult to grow up together these days. Unless you come from an ethnic or religious background where people get married young and grow up together-- don't romanticize that because that is something rare and difficult to find.

bananachka · 2020-04-14T13:53:04+00:00

I have dated guys during those ages and each one knew that in the future I want to get married, and I don't commit to guys who don't want that future either. You don't need to plan getting married, but the guy should at least have the same goal and values as you, which is "date to one day get married", not just to have a girlfriend for now.

Title	How do you know if relationship is progressing towards marriage if you’re dating while young?
Author	fwe23rrs
Upvotes	22
Comments	13
Date	April 14, 2020 5:29 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g0zn10/how_do_you_know_if_relationship_is_progressing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-know-if-relationship-is-progressing.678379 https://theredarchive.com/post/678379

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