Hey everyone, long time lurker but incredibly grateful for all the advice that I’ve been reading, particularly in regards to my super low value ex (is SLVM a thing?) after my breakup. I had some pickme tendencies, but this place is helping me fix my behavior and realize that I really am HV, and deserve an HVM.

When I first started dating my ex, I told him that I wasn’t a huge fan of gifts - men (particularly old men) would give me nice gifts, but they would expect something in return, something I as a 20-something definitely was not willing to do. For example, I mentioned to one about an art exhibit I saw, with one of the lesser-known pieces being one of my favorites. He gave me a print of it for my birthday (with receipt inside, so I know it was pricey), and I felt very uncomfortable, especially when he started pushing for me to join him for lunch and constantly messaging me.

Now that I’m single again and plan on eventually dating, how do I say that I’m not interested in gifts, especially early on, without sounding like a pickmesha? I’m not comfortable with the connotations gifts have had in my life so far (save for the ones from family and friends).