I feel so devastated

butterflyhatch · 2020-03-28T04:06:54+00:00

"He wasn't a typical LVM" - he is.

Having a job that pays well or looking conventionally does not have any bearing to the context of him not being a typical LVM.

He is 26 and preyed on a 19 year old? That is a typical LVM who goes after someone inexperienced and naive so that he can manipulate.

It can be difficult to get out of such a mindset. I feel that you are tying up your sense of worth based on external factors (i.e. him) when it should come from within.

Do read through the FDS Handbook if you haven't already or re-read to internalise the messages. My mindset regarding men is that - I will only be attracted to the way he treats me above other superficialities.

You can reach out to me anytime if you need to talk!

JoyJonesIII · 2020-03-28T04:21:22+00:00

Aww hon! You liked him more than he liked you. That’s really the gist of it. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. You just weren’t “the one” for him. I know it hurts, but you need to accept that this relationship didn’t work out and that you are still fabulous. He didn’t treat you that well anyway, so maybe focus on that aspect rather than your fantasy of how you wanted things to be. Plenty of other guys out there, trust me.

Sewud · 2020-03-28T04:22:47+00:00

You could be the sweetest girl to him and he could still treat you like trash. You will wonder forever why this happened to you, why he treated you like trash. But the fact that he treated you like trash makes him repulsive and a repulsive man who treats you like trash will never be allowed to be near you.

curlygirl507 · 2020-03-28T19:30:41+00:00

You're obsessed with this guy because you see things in him that you want for yourself. Go get them for yourself instead.

He's precisely the opposite of a "great guy." He's a total asshole.

his replies became always so so dry...sometimes he would go not texting me for weeks, it was obvious he didn’t care abt me and he’d try to go to sexual topics

Next time this happens, block and next. They only want one thing from you. You're not a human to the vast majority of men at all. They just want your body and they don't give a damn about you, your well-being or your feelings.

The problem is not you - the problem is men.

2020-03-28T04:10:46+00:00

[deleted]

2020-03-28T05:31:36+00:00

There's nothing obnoxious about you. They treat you bad because at some point somebody told them "nice guys finish last". I guarantee if you had just dumped this guy (it's ok, you were young, naive and just trying to love somebody) he would have flipped out. The guys who act like they don't care, if you ignore them they care REAL QUICK. It's also called "pick up artist" where they teach men that they can only get hot women if they ignore the woman, knock her down a peg (being late, negging her, ignoring her).

Their goal is to lower the woman's self esteem so she will feel just like you are feeling and STAY WITH THE GUY. seriously, he's convinced that he has to make you think you "ain't shit" so you feel bad enough about yourself to feel like "please, please stay with me. .." instead of "wow you know what you're a fucking loser"

Even Jessica Alba was ignored at age 18. She said so herself in an interview. When she turned 18 she latched onto the first guy to ask her out because she was thinking "thank God somebody likes me". JESSICA ALBA.....

Pick up artist principles have been around since the seventies. Guys think they are so tough and they also feel entitled to someone like you: much younger, attractive and naive.

OR they just didn't like you enough but they felt entitled to waste your time because they were so arrogant they believed they were doing you a favor because you liked him so much. He just took advantage for his own personal gain. I know, it's really gross. You might want to do a year of zero dating to rid yourself of this gross feeling. Get your sense of personal autonomy back

I recommend these books "Why does he do that?" "He's just not that into you"

And last but not least "Not your mother's rules". If I had these books at your age, I could have saved 5 years of stress. You're ok. It will be ok

Ps- guys always say "OH YEAH SCARLETT JOHANSSON? YEAH THAT'S WIFE MATERIAL. I'D WIFE HER UP REAL FAST". Guys like to be "the decider"of who's good enough. Don't listen to it- the celebrity in question would never even go on a date with him let alone be his wife. He's arrogant. Also- if he had to deal with scarJo, he would likely get fed up that she has actual feelings, needs, stress or schedule conflicts. He would be sick of her after a week. Guys dream of this rich, hot, desirable woman but they don't see her as a real person. Just this caricature of a sexy CoolGirl of their fantasies. Even ScarJo goes without makeup, cries, or makes demands of men. You know? He's just blowing hot air out his ass

But that's the hilarious karma- the women he deems "good enough to be wife material"usually wouldn't give him the time of day if they were right in front of him. He is just arrogant and believes he's better than you and better than most people. He would probably feel like he was better than his celebrity wife if he ended up "wifing her up". When I was your age it made me so sad to feel like I wasn't "wife material". After having boundaries and self esteem thanks to THE RULES (books, they are FDS) by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, every man I meet wants to "wife me up". Seriously men are so fickle and stupid. Just take care of yourself.

Title	I feel so devastated
Author	applestrudlee
Upvotes	19
Comments	10
Date	March 28, 2020 2:41 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fqbqjp/i_feel_so_devastated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-feel-so-devastated.679476 https://theredarchive.com/post/679476

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